Stop Holding Unnecessary Grudges Against People
Inspired to write this article today because I think this is so common with a lot of people in today's world.
We find it very easy to hold a grudge for other people or cut them off because they did not behave in a particular way we wanted at some point.
As long as the behavior is not repetitive over a good number of times, we cannot assume that people had intentionally done anything.
Some of us get pissed off if someone we believe are close to us fails to show up for an invitation or if they fail to handle a request for help from them which we strongly believe they can handle.
But the truth is that sometimes things happen and sometimes these people may be in a position where they genuinely cannot show up for us or assist us as we want.
We should be able to understand that and try and make "positive excuses" for such persons without resorting to making assumptions like "they don't want to be with us" or "I will never ask them for anything again" or even worse stuff like "I won't care about them anymore."
The world doesn't work that way. Sometimes some unexpected things could genuinely prevent your close family and friends from doing something you would want them to do.
If you really love such persons and care about them, you should be able to factor this into consideration when your offers, invites or requests are turned down.
Because if you really think about it, you are also not available at all times to your own family and friends. Sometimes, certain unexpected things come up for you as well and you have to miss doing something you wanted to do or to be somewhere you intended to go.
If your family or friends decided to cut you off for the one time you couldn't show up or assist them, how would you feel about that?
That's exactly how the people you quickly cut off or stop caring about or stop talking to because of "one thing they did wrong" also feel.
This part below was my first attempt at writing the article above. I feel it captures my message in a different way, so I have added it on here below
Learning to hold nothing against people when they say no to you is critical for your enjoyment of life.
People are allowed to say No to your invitations and that's okay. Wishing for them to get to a point where they realize saying no to you was a mistake is a waste of your wishes.
People are allowed to use whatever reasons they want as reasons for saying No to you and. That's Okay. Don't overthink it, just assume they can't make it and feel free to make your decisions from there.
Feel free to invite them again or not. But do not decide that you won't invite them again because you are annoyed they did not honor your first invitation. They could seriously be busy and it could have been a great inconvenience for them.
Be happy for them anyways and feel free to invite them a second time. Except when you genuinely feel that the person does not want to meet up at which the declines should have been consistent over the number of times you've asked at least 5-10. Then you can decide to stop.
But never make the decision to stop based on them not honoring the first time. You don't owe them anything and they don't owe you either. So of people say no, still be happy with them. They are allowed to think what they want. To think that you're lonely or to think that you want to just talk to them cos you're bored. But it's their thinking, not yours. You know you are never lonely and would always have people at all times and you know you are never bored.
You know you are doing it for your goal which is to build relationships with others. So it's actually work just as with your career. You invest, you initiate the first moves, you initiate the travels. But you do not expect 100 percent compliance.
And you must be willing to make excuses for people. And allow them make excuses too without getting mad at them. No need for tryna punish anyone for not honoring an invitation. They have the right to decline and it doesn't have to mean anything.
Keep feeling free except someone has consistently shown they don't want to associate with you.
But people's declines or actions that are not what you want should not make you wish they regret it. That's bad behavior and bad intent. You need clear that from your system of you always feel the urge to punish people for not meeting up to expectation.
End of article.
Always feel free to reach out to who your spirit asks you to reach out to.
Don't mind if there's a grudge against them or if you have anything against them. Throw those things away if the reasons are because of one decline or one wrong they have done or even not helping you in time of need.
These reasons are not good enough. They are trivial and you suffer for nothing holding onto them.
It's really easy to love people and enjoy life. It happens when you find lesser reasons to hold a grudge against others.
Feel free, it's a free world.
Let me know your thoughts.