I once came across a joke where a certain woman wanted to know her husband's reaction if she left home without notice. So she decided to write him a letter explaining that she was tired of him, didn't want to live with him anymore and loved him no more. She also mentioned that she had left their home to be with her lover.
After writing it, she put the letter on the table in their bedroom and hid under the bed. When her husband came back home, he saw the letter and read it. Then, he wrote his own message down and began to sing joyfully and dance while changing his clothes.
He said, "Yes, this woman is finally gone for good! " So he took out his phone, dialed someone, then said: "Hey sweetie, I'm just changing my clothes then I will join you. As for the other fool, it has finally dawned on her that I was fooling around behind her back so she left me. See you soon, honey!" Then he walked out of the room.
In tears, the wife got up from under the bed and decided to read what her husband must've written on the letter. When she picked it up and read it, it said: "I could see your feet, you idiot. I am going out to get some bread. Prepare my lunch when you're out from under there. I love you." The wife just stood there smiling.
When I saw that joke, I imagined that it wouldn't have been fun if the husband immediately told her that he could see her legs coming out from there. It was fun, loving and entertaining because he completely pretended not to know.
It's natural for human beings to want to prove that they know certain things very well and they like to demonstrate their knowledge given every opportunity they got. It's a good thing, but it could also be a fault when taken to the extreme.
Sometimes, it is wiser to pretend like you don't know some things, so that you'll gain more knowledge about them or even buy time to take a better course of action. You could get some other people's different ideas about a subject and perhaps you could even learn something new.
The problem we often face is that we often see ourselves as too wise and that we probably know a whole lot of things. The truth is: You never really know as much as you may think.
Our world is infinite and there limitless opportunities and vast resources to learn. Things are not always black and white. When you learn to sometimes play the fool, you'd be surprised at the things you'll find out.
You mustn't take everything too seriously as well. There are lots of people also facing problems and issues in this world and believe you me, you're not alone in whatever you're facing. So don't make it look as if you're the only one encountering challenges.
Try playing the fool sometimes, relax and just have fun watching how people try to take advantage of you because they think you don't know. Let people see you as a fool sometimes, then when the situation calls for it, surprise them with what you know.
Don't always try to let people know that you know. You'll appear as arrogant and disrespectful. People don't usually like being around such people. So keep the balance. Know when to come out plain and when to just chill out and play the fool.
Until next time,
I remain Nigel.
Every day each of us is given 24 hours. Some use it very well, while some others waste it. But we are all given that exact 24 each day. Those who are running the world today, winning and taking territories as they want are masters in the game of utilising time.
There is one way you can train yourself to utilise your time very well and that is by always having a plan. A plan is what guides and motivates you towards whatever you wish to achieve in this world. With a plan, it's difficult to waste your time, trust me.
In 24 hours people travel to different countries, attend many meetings, give speeches, run businesses etc. In that same 24 hours, some people achieve nothing. The difference is in having a plan.
Without a plan, we'd be merely floating and our time will be poorly utilized. It's true that things may not always work according to how we plan it, but that shouldn't stop us from having one because a plan is what keeps us going.
Many people live average or below average lives today because they do not plan adequately well. They just wake up, eat, do what they can do to survive for that day, then go to sleep and repeat the cycle the next day.
If you're in doubt, ask people around you where they see themselves in the next five years or ask them about their plans. You'd notice that most people don't have a direct answer to these questions. You'll often hear stuff like "MAYBE I'll do this or that.." "I MAY.... " or non specific answers like "I'll get a job" "I'd be working" etc.
If you're really planning your life well, your answers should be direct. There should be no in betweens. Something like, "I'll have my own restaurant specialising in cakes and chips," sounds more like someone who knows where he/she is going. And that person more likely to achieve it because he's not afraid of being specific.
Indeed, plans may not go exactly as we planned, but the good thing is that it keeps us going and it enables us recognize opportunities that are in line with our plan. As long as you're working with a plan, you must be open minded to see where you need to adjust it as things go on.
For example if you want to be in a particular school in two years time and you have been saving for it with your current plan, you should be quick to notice when a scholarship opportunity for that same school suddenly shows up. It could suddenly come up in a few months or even weeks. At that point, it will be stupid to ignore it and just 'stick to plan.' You simply apply for the scholarship and continue saving just in case.
The point is: Having a plan shouldn't make you rigid. You must be flexible within your plan because things change, but even in your flexibility, you still have your goal in mind.
From experience, It's difficult to find what you're not looking for. It is only when you seek that you'll find. Plans motivate us to keep seeking. We should have a plan to find whatever we want, but if better options to finding it show up, we must be ever willing to embrace it.
Don't quit on planning because things are not working out the way you planned it. It will make you lazy and you'd miss opportunities and waste your time. Sometimes, things don't work out according to plan for your own good. The question is: Is your mind Open to see the opportunities that are available to still achieve your goal even though your plan seems not to work?
Life has a way of surprising us. We must keep planning, no matter the challenges faced, but let us not plan with the mindset that things will work out exactly the way we planned. Things could work out faster, more easily or through other unthinkable ways that you never thought possible, so plan, but be open minded to see answers coming from an entirely different direction.
Just keep winning!
When I was a little kid in primary school, some of my folks used to call me "Big Head." And anytime they said that to me; I got angry and reacted in a negative way that seemed kind of pleasing to them.
I often wondered why they did it: Was my head really that big? Was it because I occasionally came top of the class? Or were these kids plainly bent on offending me? These questions bothered me and then one day I reported to my teacher.
She smiled, looked at me and said, "Ike, anytime they call you big head again, simply pretend like you didn't hear them and continue with whatever you're doing."
To be honest, I wasn't happy with her recommendation. I expected her to flog the hell out of these kids and make them pay. Little did I know that her advice will go a long way to form some of the basic principles which I live by.
I did as she asked. It was difficult initially because when they saw that I wasn't reacting the way I used to, they intensified their efforts. But I thank my stars that I kept calm.
After some days of trial, they naturally became bored. I wasn't entertaining them anymore with my anger, so it wasn't fun for them anymore. They just had to adapt, call me my real name and found other ways to make themselves happy.
That was how that behavior came to an end. As the years went by, I can still recall similar situations where I have been called some rude names and when I plainly ignored it, it usually happened that the offender usually came back to apologize.
I cited these few examples to point out how powerful our ability to ignore certain things are. Some people have become so predictable and reactive today that anyone could easily guess their reaction to anything.
Some people flare up so easily when they feel they are offended. Others engage in arguments that waste their time and benefits them nothing. Few people are actually aware that they possess the power to ignore certain things.
I'm not saying you should ignore everything. We mustn't ignore the things that will help us achieve our goals or recognize opportunities for success. The point is to ignore the things that are targeted to bring you down, get you angry, make you lose focus, get you jealous or get distracted.
Anytime we react to those things, we simply lose our direction and time for nothing. Things will happen and people will always say or do things. You can't control everybody or every occurrence, but you can control how you respond to them. You either ignore it or you pay attention to it.
Successful people who have a sense of direction and who know where they are headed usually train themselves to ignore distractions and focus on their objective. Ability to ignore is an ingredient for success.
What a twist of events! After 7 gruelling draws out of the 8 chess games played so far by the contesting chess masters, it turns out Sergey Karjakin, the 26 year old from Russia is the first to draw the blood in a game against Chess World Champion, Magnus Carlsen.
The game played yesterday was a tough one in which Magnus Carlsen played very ambitiously. He was really playing to win. I feel he was tired of all the draws and played very aggressively that he made some errors which led to his loss.
The Russian challenger remained calm and wasn't really perturbed by the Current World Champion's surprising moves. He kept his cool and kept playing solidly. Carlsen kept going for it, while Karjakin was just patiently waiting and defending properly. Consequently, Carlsen ignored certain principles and made errors because of that which led to his loss.
I personally have learnt a lot from this surprising game. It's not all about playing aggressively and trying to win at any cost. In everything one does, one must be calm, relaxed and do it without fuss, worry or discomfort.
Whenever we're so bent on any desired result, sometimes it makes us worry and disposes us to make some wrong decisions. No matter the results we need to achieve, we must learn to do the work required for it in a calm and relaxed manner.
I think this was the psychology behind yesterday's results: Calmness winning over Tension. There are still four games to go and the next game will be played tomorrow , 23rd November 2016.
I hope Carlsen learns his lesson and tries to remain calm in the next games. And to you reading this, in anything you do, don't put your mind so much into it that you're distracted from the present. Don't be overzealous about anything. Forget the result you want and simply focus.
Whatever you want to achieve, just calmly focus on doing what you need to do. Don't let concern for the outcome bother you. Forget about the outcome and concentrate on what you got to do presently. I tell you, nothing can stop a calm and focused mind.
Hope to see more interesting games,
Remember to stay calm and confident,
See you next time.
Many people desire to go to heaven when they die. "Heaven is a perfect place where you have anything you want," they say. It is a good ideal and I'm not against it. My question to every one of them is: "Since you're still alive here on earth, why not make this world a better place?"
The way I see it, most people are just waiting to die and go to this perfect place. Most of them have given up on life and console themselves with the promise of heaven. They don't want to have anything to do with this earth. "The earth is corrupt and must be destroyed," they say.
These people are mostly poor people who see themselves as "nice and good" and they claim to be guaranteed of heaven because they are saints on earth who have not committed any sin.
"I'm positive that I'd be rich," "I believe I will excel in whatever I do," "I believe I'd be a president," "I believe I will be a great speaker," these are positive words, but simply saying them will not make these wishes come to pass.
A lot of New Age information going around tells people that they should simply visualise and think about whatever they want and they'll be attracting it to themselves. Taking this information literally will only lead to disappointments and frustration.
It's wonderful to want to be described as positive individuals, but do we really know what that means? Being positive is much more than just thinking, visualization and believing. There is more to it than some people probably think.
Consider these two different people: Mr. A and Mr. B. Mr. A spends his time focusing on all his problems and easily sees reasons to complain. He continues to argue about how things are supposed to be, but really does nothing about it.
Mr. A continuously looks out for who or what is going wrong and as a result, that's what he gets. He gets angry over little things that people do and he easily gives up when any challenge comes up.
Mr. B is different. He has conditioned his mind to simply focus on what he wants to achieve. He has refused to see anything else that is negative or anything that tries to discourage/stop him.
As a result, Mr. B doesn't see problems as Mr. A does, he sees opportunities for him to realise his goal in what looks like a problem. Mr. B doesn't complain, rather he tries to do what he can do solve any problems and move towards his goal.
What people are saying or doing and the way things have changed is not a problem to Mr. B. He's too focused to let these things disturb his peace. He's always happy because he clearly sees his goal and works towards it.
Which of these men do you think would become successful as time goes on? I think the answer should be easy. Whatever you want to see in this world is what you'd keep getting.
What are you focusing your energy on? Are you spending time focusing on negatives? Do you find the fault with every little thing? Are you easily discouraged from focusing on your targets?
Or are you really focused on what exactly you want yo achieve? Do you see the opportunities everywhere? Do you see the good in people even with behaviours that should get you annoyed?
Think of your ability to focus as a magnifying glass. If you spend too much time trying to see something, you'd see more and more of it.
Therefore, if there is any reoccurring experiences you are currently facing in any area of your life, you should really think about what you've been focusing on and change it.
If you're always meeting the same kinds of people, if you're experiencing the same kind of results, if people seem to behave the same way to you etc. These things are feedback to tell you what you've been focusing on.
Things are just the way they are. We don't have to talk about every problem. If we can do something with it, fine, why talk about it first? If we can't do anything about it, there are other problems we must be able to solve, no need to cry about it either.
Your FOCUS is the target. Its like a shining light. If you can keep on converging it to what you want to achieve, your energy will be intense and your goal will become clearer and clearer to you.
If you just focus on everything that happens to you. You shine that light in many directions and you end up confused. If you focus it on negatives, you'd see more negativity.
What you see is simply what you get.
Till next time,
Have you ever wondered how it would feel if all your predictions came true? Wow.. It is great. And I've been having fun with this precious knowledge ever since I learnt it. Pals, it's like everything is bending to my will and command. Simply works like magic.
You're lucky if you're among those reading this right now because I'm about to let you in on this great secret. It's the golden key that let's you accurately predict the future.
I know you're probably in doubt. And you may be wondering how possible it is to do so. Well, all I ask is that you keep reading because after that, you'd experiment and see for yourself.
Many people complain that they don't have some things they really deserve or that despite their hardest work, they achieve very little. Therefore, they are discouraged in whatever they do and tend to stop giving out their best.
For some other people, it appears that they do very little work and all the money is following them. They don't have to stress themselves like others, but money just keeps chasing them.
"Why is life this way?" they ask. "Life is not fair. " they scream. Some start trying to explain it by saying its the hands of fate and not everyone has the same destiny. When they're satisfied with whatever excuse they've cooked up, they're comforted in their misery and quit trying.
Here's the truth... Life is completely fair. Life has been so well arranged that everyone gets exactly what they deserve. It appears some people have it easier when you only look at where they are presently.
Why is it that most blacks are the ones complaining about being treated unfairly or unjustly? Why are we the ones complaining about racism all the time? Why are we the ones who are always on the defensive?
The answer lies in inferiority complex. When you are already feeling inferior about yourself and where you are from, it is easy for you to see faults in what other people are saying or doing.
You are always complaining about how they treat you and how they disrespect you. But do you really respect and value yourself? Or are you quick to pick offense over any little thing?
What has your attention? What do you spend much of time focusing it on? Do you look out for existing opportunities or do you keep looking at things that went wrong?
Our attention has tremendous power and if we can direct it to the appropriate endeavors, we can actually come up with ideas and plans to greatly improve our lives and the society.
Most of us channel much of our attention to things that do not really add much value to our lives. We are either focused on sports, movies, entertainment etc. These things are important when engaged in once in a while.
Much of your attention has to be channeled to something that you can make a contribution into. Don't channel your attention to the past or on things that you haven't done so well in.
Kathy claims she's in love with two different guys and she's having a hard time figuring out who to choose between the two. She's been dating both of them simultaneously for about a year now.
She has continued dating them and increasingly being more reluctant to make up her mind. It seems as if she's just enjoying the feeling of having two lovers and has forgotten to take a decision on which of them to stick with.
Turns out that with time, the two men dating Kathy got to find out about the game she has been playing with the two of them and Kathy consequently lost them both. Till date she still regrets not taking a decision on time.
Kathy's story is just an example out of many cases of being indecisive. Every moment of our lives we are faced with different choices and the choices we make go a long way to define who we are.
I am thoroughly convinced that no matter the amount of evidence presented to someone whose belief is absolute on an issue, that person will never change their position on it.
Our beliefs are so powerful that they continue to control and shape our everyday lives. It's not like your beliefs actually changes anything in reality, it's just that the beliefs help you interpret reality differently and see things you never saw before.
I'm pretty sure you're familiar with the expressions "I said it," and "I thought as much." These are so common because people are often conditioned to see what they believe in and therefore confirm it with those words.
From the Moment the Business tycoon and former TV reality star made known his intentions to run for America's presidency in June 2015, Donald Trump started facing serious challenges.
He was called all sorts of names ranging from a xenophobe, misogynist, bigot, rapist etc and he was labelled as one who had no respect for women. They released videos of him making some inappropriate statements years ago which he apologized for.
Allegations from various women who have been quiet started coming up against him from nowhere. They all claimed Trump sexually harassed them. All these were to tarnish this man's image and smear his reputation.
But there is something about Donald. J. Trump which helped him pull through even with all these labels and accusations. There was something that made the American people continue believing in this man even with lots of information from the media saying negatives about him.
Here's Jack.. He has read almost every book on how to get rich and successful in life. He can tell you everything about Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad and even the Cash Flow Quadrant.
But Jack doesn't have enough money to feed himself, talk less of pay his rent. His trousers even have visible holes in them. He's so poor. Why is this so even with his wide knowledge on how to become wealthy?
Meet Michael, He just graduated from the University. He knows every theory and formular in the engineering field. He has proven himself by being able to memorize and give back to his teachers what they gave him.
You must have heard it a number of times "What will be will be." This is a phrase that people often use when they want to give up on something.
But what will be, won't be if you do nothing about it yourself. If you're a student, you have to study your books for you to be able to pass the examinations. You don't sit back and say that what will be will be while doing nothing.
If you're a doctor, you don't tell your patients that what will be will be, then allow them die! Of course, you try and find out what's wrong with them, then see what you can do.
If you're hungry, you'll have to cook or find something to eat. You don't sit there and say what will be will be about feeding, then stay hungry.
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