Friday, 20 April 2018

How To Stop Worrying About The Future

How to stop worrying about the future

I'm very ambitious and I dream of many things. I want to be successful, I want to be wealthy and I want to be famous for a good cause.

I want to contribute to making the world a better place and I want to take up responsibilities that challenge me to be the best I can be and make the optimum use of my intelligence.

My mind is always working every single day to seek for the things I can do to achieve all these desires and whenever I identify something I can do towards that, I do it.

I believe in God and in all my aspirations, I still say my prayers. My prayers are focused on God guiding me to recognize opportunities around me and take action based on the best ideas that I have.

I know I am doing my best and I am not lazy. But here's the problem that I face: Because of all these dreams that occupy my mind, I often find myself worrying about when I'm going to achieve them.

I expect too much from the actions I take and when it seems that my results or expectations are taking too much time to yield to fruition, I become unhappy and more worried.

Does this sound like you? Are you doing your best and you still find yourself worried about when and how things will turn out? Just know that you're not alone in this and continue reading.

People who are very ambitious and people who care about making a difference are usually those who are worried. So the first thing that worrying says about you is that you are already on the path of success.

Lazy people who care less about their surroundings and how they can make a difference in today's world are those who are always relaxed. They have nothing to do, so what is there to worry about?

If you ever found yourself worrying about your future, it's a sign you want to succeed.

However, you must know and try to always be conscious of this fact: Worrying is not the way to success. The way to success is in being active.

At this point, you might be thinking: "I know that already. I've been active. So what the heck is he talking about?"

Well, I haven't landed.. It's true that active people still worry. But the moment they start worrying, what do you think happens? Inactivity sets in. They aren't engaging themselves when they are worried. That's why their minds take over and they begin to feel bad.

The thing about success is that it doesn't want you to sit idly while waiting for it. Neither does it care about you figuring out when and how it will happen. It wants to surprise you. And you only give success that chance, when you are occupied with doing your work or something else!

And therein lies the point I'm trying to make. The secret to stop worrying is to make plans and always be occupied with things that improve your life, teach you something and make you happy.

When you are occupied with these things, you don't remember to think about success. You are busy growing and improving your skills and well-being. And it often happens that success likes you to be occupied this way before it decides to surprise you.

So when you catch yourself worrying about a lot of things, what it means is that you are becoming less occupied. It means you have allowed your desires and expectations stall your progress and happiness.

Look, I understand that it's natural to feel unhappy and sometimes worry when things you are trying to achieve, don't go as you planned it, but the key here is to quickly step out of that worry and occupy yourself with exciting things.

Your work should be exciting to you and you should derive some joy and sense of pride from doing it. If you're not excited by the kind of work you do, then what's the point?

Getting yourself occupied with other things doesn't mean you should work all the time. You should also make out time for relaxation and play.

When you keep getting yourself occupied positively despite how things are going or what results may be showing to you, you will be able to overcome worrying.

I will summarize everything with this analogy:

When you're cooking food, does the food get cooked faster when you keep checking and checking it every minute?

Or does it appear to get cooked faster than you thought when you go ahead and occupy your mind with something else(say a movie or task)?

Do you get that surprise email when you keep checking and checking your mail box every second?

Or when you forget about it and carry on happily with your life?

Doesn't it seem as though things happen faster when you're not looking?

Worrying is a trap for the mind.

Stop worrying, be happy, develop yourself and keep winning!

Your success isn't that far away! 

Saturday, 14 April 2018

You Are Not Alone

you are not alone

Many people around the world today often make the mistake of wrongly thinking that they are the only ones facing certain situations in their personal lives.

This leads most of them into depression, a negative mindset and even suicidal thoughts. In this article I will try to make you see reasons why you are not alone in the challenges you face.

Growing up, I used to think that I was all alone in many of the circumstances I found myself.

As a teenager, I didn't really get along so well with my mom. Maybe it was because Dad had passed away when I was much younger. But we often disagreed on many occasions because of my lack of understanding or trying to see things from her own perspective.

I often thought I was alone in this and it often affected my predominant disposition because I felt unloved. It was until when I discussed with other seemingly happier colleagues that I realized some of them had actually been through more serious disagreements with their parents. But they didn't let it stop them from being themselves.

At parties or picnics, I usually felt awkward as regards how to act and behave. I was too self conscious wondering what people expected me to do and what I should do. Scared of making mistakes and stuff. All these kind of thoughts made me not act freely and I thought I was the only one who felt that way.

My eyes were opened when I talked to others who were seemingly the life of the party. They admitted that they felt the same way and were often tempted to be too self conscious, but they trained themselves to simply take action and do what came naturally instead of keep thinking like I did.

And that's really the secret here: Acting even when you feel alone. When those thoughts haunt you, do you act and switch your mind away from it? Or do you keep seeing more and more reasons why you are alone?

What you do when you feel alone really goes a long way to shape your experience.

There was a time I used to think that I was the only one who had few friends and that meant that I was less popular. I'm actually very careful in selecting my friends and my friends were few and I was feeling bad about that...

Till I found out that the people I thought were popular with many close friends also had few very close friend but many acquaintances. That is.. They knew many people or have been with many people, and it's just the familiarity and exchanging pleasantries that linked them.

I used to think I was the only one who was yet to get a job, start an awesome business and start having fun. Turned out that many other people were in my shoes still working on getting a job or starting a small business.

There was a time I was so confused about finding my purpose. I didn't know exactly what I was in this world to do and I felt bad that I've not yet narrowed my life down. It was liberating to find out that many other people were in my shoes. And I could still live out all my ambitions.

Some people who are in relationships or married often times fall for this trap too. They see all the good things happening in other marriages or relationships outside and only see the wrong thing in theirs. Then they feel all alone in that condition.

Are you seeing the problem? Some of the marriages or relationships they envy might have faced or are facing worse challenges than theirs, but the partners involved acted and somehow twisted the hands of fate to their favor. And now you envy them and you think their relationship was all perfect.

What the seemingly perfect partners did was simple: Instead of feeling all alone about their own predicaments and getting depressed, they understood that they were not alone in their situation and focused on working their way out of the love challenge.

The only way is working your way out of your feelings of being alone. Then you'll see how things transform.

Some people you see also pretend. They have mastered the art of pretense. They also feel all alone sometimes, but they can cover that feeling with a lot of things. Some resort to drugs, excessive drinking and lasciviousness. All because they are trying to avoid that feeling.

But all those substitutes don't help because you're just avoiding the feeling. The best thing is to work your way out of it through the things you do.

All you need is to simply observe or discuss with people, you will see that you are never alone in whatever you face and many others are encountering the same thoughts or experiences.

My life changed when I realized how easy things I thought were difficult really were. And when I saw that challenges I faced weren't really so different from the  challenges of those I envied.

The difference between me and them was in my attitude. While I had let my challenges make me look down on myself, they ignored their challenges, still saw themselves in a positive light and took conscious action to overcome those challenges.

When I understood this, I copied their pattern and consciously took any action to overcome the personal challenges I had. Though difficult for me initially, but as I kept on doing it, my life changed.

I attracted people to myself and when they left me, I didn't feel bad, I moved on to other people. I wasn't stuck thinking about the meaning of stuff like why they had to leave and why stuff happened to me. There is no meaning to anything except the one you give that thing. So I committed to acting right.

When I disagreed with mom, rather than feel like I was all alone or sad, I tried to see things from her perspective and made her understand my own feelings about stuff. No matter how strongly I disagreed, I walked up to her and tried to understand her. Our relationship got better and waxed stronger.

When I went to parties and felt awkward, I take the initiative and start a conversation with someone or even get up and dance naturally to the beating of the music. I never cared in the world what anyone thought about my dance steps.

Instead of feeling like I only had few friends. I made conscious efforts to build my network of friends and tried to keep in touch with most of them occasionally. My network expanded for good.

Bottom line is that I tackled all my feelings of aloneness with conscious activity. I didn't let my feelings make me inactive. I acted despite how my mind wanted to make me feel. That was when the transformation began in my life. And that is where yours will begin too if you ever feel alone.

Most of our problems arise from either over thinking or a lack of the most basic form of it. Because if you had given a little thought to other people, you would've seen that they too faced the same challenges, but the difference between those who appeared to be having it smooth and yourself was all in the attitude!

 You could sit around all day feeling bad about your predicament or you can do something about it right away. The magic happens in doing. When you do, you make a difference. Stop being stuck with feeling and thinking too much. Learn to Act your way out!

There are many people who have faced, are facing and will still face whatever thing you think you are facing all alone. Don't fall for the trap of thinking that you are the only one facing anything. It leads to acute depression and suicidal thoughts.

If some of them were able to make it out successfully, why can't you?

Thinking sure helps, But over thinking without any action is a curse.

You are definitely not alone.. If you're religious, you should know that God sees everything and is with you at all times. Just play your part by doing and watch the miracles happen.

Keep winning!

Sunday, 8 April 2018

Enjoy The Process

enjoy the process

Oftentimes, we are too focused on the end goal of what we desire to achieve that we fail to enjoy the process we must undergo to achieve it. 

We are too future oriented to pay attention to what we are presently doing. This isn't really desirable for us if we really want to succeed. 

If we cannot enjoy the process involved in getting what we want, how will we be motivated every single day to achieve it? 

A lot of people today are unhappy. They don't let like what they are doing, they hate every present thing they have to do to achieve their desire and they try to fast forward to where they want to be. 

The truth is that there is really no fast forward button in life because life will always follow the due course, no matter how badly we intend to speed up its process. 

When you are always refusing and hating what you have to presently do, you're only hurting yourself because you are missing the opportunity to learn the lessons you need to learn from that situation, so you can move on to higher positions. 

When you keep turning a blind eye to that present situation, you are only extending the time you will have to face it. In a previous article titled "The Power of Your Attention," I shared insights on the benefits of paying great attention. 

Without that attention, you will miss. Therefore, it's pointless to desire anything if you're not enjoying the process involved to get there because there is only one way to get there and that is to pass through the process. 

If you want to be a world class footballer, you have to enjoy the process of going for tedious trainings and practice games. You must enjoy practicing the dribbles, the stunts, the free kicks and the penalties. 

You cannot hate these things or try to fast forward them to suddenly become a star. It doesn't work that way. Expertise takes time, attention and hard work. And it's only when you're enjoying the process that you can give those three. 

If you want to join the Armed Forces, you should be prepared to enjoy the drills, target practices and rigorous stunts involved. They may be tiring and painful, but you have to enjoy it and always be willing to participate. 

You cannot hide or always feign sickness when those things are being done, yet claim that you want to be a renown officer. 

You want to be a great writer? Then you have to enjoy the process of writing constantly, reading the written works of other people and perfecting your writing style. 

If you hate sitting down in one place to write at least 500 words or more and you don't like reading, how do you want to become a great writer? What would you write? How well would you have developed your craft? 

You want to be a well known politician? Then you must enjoy the process of setting up meetings with political stakeholders, the process of campaigning and speaking to a large number of people. You must enjoy travelling around almost all the time to make decisions that affect a large number of people. 

If you are predominantly an introvert and you don't like people being in your own space or you don't like to speak in public or even travel a lot, how on earth do you want to be a great politician? 

Usain Bolt, the world's fastest man ran for 3 - 4 hours every single day for practice because he was in love with his process to be the fastest man.. Before he became world class, he loved to run. 

Mohammed Ali, one of the greatest heavyweight boxers of all times was said to run 3 to 5 miles three times a week during his preparation for a fight. He would hit the speed bag rapidly in 5 minutes. It should've been stressful to him, but he loved it. 

An article from medium claims that Elon Musk, the founder of Tesla and Space X, works between 80 to 100 hours a week running Tesla and SpaceX, even when his net-worth would easily allow him to elope to a beach and never be heard from again. For the record, Elon says he’d have to be on serious drugs to live that kind of beach life.

The article also says Bill Gates (Billionaire, Philanthropist and Founder of Microsoft) loves working with scientists and field workers at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. He could work less hours if he wanted to, and he takes more vacation than he did in his 20’s (where he took zero vacations), but chooses not to. 

These men could have easily quit, but because they've fallen in love with their processes, they get better and better. 

You just have to love the process to become what you want to become if you're passionate about getting there, because there is no other way. 

If you cannot love the process, there's no point wishing for it because it's the process that will build you to achieve it. 

Some people may tell you that they didn't enjoy the process, but they struggled and passed through it before they made it. 

I tell you that if they were not enjoying it in any way, they wouldn't have been able to complete it. The right description is that it was very tough for them, but because they liked it and were really passionate about their dreams, they loved it and continued. 

How can you make any progress doing something you don't even love? Even when you force yourself, you are still bound to make mistakes and overlook certain things because your attention is not there. 

You can actually develop love for something. Some of the things we currently enjoy today, we probably didn't enjoy them years ago. So it's possible to develop love for something.

Therefore, if you want to get somewhere and you can develop genuine love for the process involved, by all means, go ahead. But if there's no love for the process and it seems you cannot develop any love for it, it is wiser that you leave the dream and go for one that aligns with your passion and creative genius. 

Not loving the process involved in achieving anything is almost as certain as failure in that thing. Because after wasting more time than necessary in it, you'll still find out that you cannot be where you envisioned. 

How to be where you desire to be is hidden and encoded in the "process" … From the first day you engage the process till when you finally become what you desire, every action of yours builds up that dream! 

The dream you seek is not so far away from you if you understand the magic that happens through the process. In short, the more you love and enjoy the process, the closer you are to your dream or desire. 

The more you hate and dislike the process, the farther away you are from the dream. 

Every step in the process builds that dream and that's why you cannot go through the process reluctantly or indifferently. The process is like the little drops of water that will make up the mighty ocean which is dream. 

That's why you should abandon dreams when you know you cannot enjoy the process and go for dreams in which you can love the process. 

We all want to achieve our dreams in the shortest time possible and with loving the process, we can hack time. 

If you love the process, stress wouldn't seem like stress, work would seem like play, effort would seem effortless.. You wouldn't know where your energy to practice will come from because you'll never get tired easily. 

You will find yourself studying, learning, asking questions and doing research or practice on your own without being told by anybody. You'll work 110% and you'll not feel satisfied. 

If you hate the process, everything looks like a chore. Every second drains the energy off you. You cannot wait to complete the barest minimum required of you, so you can rest. There would be no motivation to achieve more. You're just passing time. 

Once time is up, you cannot study, research or practice on your own. You hate everything about the process. You just got to quit and quit now. Go out there, find the process you'll enjoy and pursue it! 


Enjoy the process, hack the time and just keep winning! 

Friday, 6 April 2018

Be New Every Single Day

Be New Every Single Day

All progress comes from our being new..
A musician keeps singing new songs.. An engineer keeps innovating new designs. A scientist keeps carrying out new experiments.

You don't have to carry over the past with you everyday you wake up.

Be new every single day. Don't be the same old person you were yesterday..

It's only when you're new every day that you experience miracles.

The past is usually a burden to us and when we stop letting it drag us behind, we become free to experience the beautiful things in the new.

Many people are stuck with either the good or bad experiences of their past that they cannot even live.

When you keep thinking about the past, you keep reliving it in your mind and you miss the beautiful opportunities to experience greater things which the present always offers you.

Many other people who have accomplished certain notable things in their lives tend to feel that they are complete or that they have arrived.

Once you start thinking that you're complete you start becoming dead.

Aspire for more and more everyday. There should be no point where you should get to and stop trying. Each level you attain calls you to a higher level.

Don't be the same old person you were yesterday. You can always be better than your old self and every single moment of today offers you that chance.

You see, the reason why some of us are still trapped in the same circumstances is simply because we have not changed our attitudes or tried to improve ourselves.

The circumstances you experience outside of you is often a mirror of your own person life.

If you find yourself in the same circumstances over and over again, you need to change and become new.

You can move a new neighborhood, you can change the way you dress, you can become more careful about your words, you can try a new method of doing something you've always done or you can make new friends.

There are many ways we can renew ourselves and our attitudes. And all it takes is conscious action. Be conscious of what you really want to achieve.

Be conscious of the things you always do. And try to improve them.

We must not let the circumstances or achievements of the past keep us stuck. We must celebrate our successes, but it shouldn't make us to relax and stop seeking to improve.

Because life is all about improvement and renewal. Reptiles shed off their old skin to reveal their new bodies. Plants die and their seeds grow again to renew them.

We must never get stuck at any point in mind or in body.

Always be new everyday and keep winning!

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