The Most Neglected Success Advice

Hi guys, my apologies for not being consistent so far with writing on this blog. I really have a lot on my hands right now and things have been happening so fast. But nevertheless, I will always make out some time to share some of the success insights I come across on this great blog.

Today, I'll be sharing with you one of the most neglected advice to succeed in life. A lot of motivational speakers and life coaches will usually say to you: "Work hard, remain consistent and never give up." That's the main highlight of most of the success advices you get.

They keep saying to you "Work without any days off," "work now while they party, you will reap the benefits later." and they always remind you that the darkest hour is usually just before dawn, so you should never think of quitting.

It's not like they are wrong about what they are saying.. It's just that sometimes this mainstream advice is too overrated and makes it seem as if success in life is just about hardwork.

By now, I guess if you've been following this blog you already know that some of the hardest working people are not the most successful. Success isn't just about hardwork as most of us have been programmed to believe.

It definitely involves some 'hard(if you want to consider it hard) work" anyway.. And I'm not saying working isn't involved in success. What I'm saying is that it's not the only factor. And that's why I'm sharing with you this particular success advice which I believe is one of the most neglected and key factors for a man's success. Read the next sentences as many times as you want and let them sink deep down into your subconscious mind:

You need people! You must build relationships with people if you want to succeed. You can't do without people, no matter what career you want to choose.

People matter and the way you relate with them as a human being matters as well. You can work as hard as you want, but if you don't at least try to relate well and build some level of relationship with other people around you, I think you're greatly limiting your chances of winning in life.

You must consciously care and build quality relationship with people. It doesn't just have to be family or close associates. You should try to go outside your comfort zone and genuinely care about the people.

One piece of information, one referral, one signature, one good recommendation from any human being can be the missing link to what you've been looking for all your life! And you have been busy working all your life for it when it could have been just starting up a conversation with a neighbor that could link you up speedily with it.

This life is like one huge puzzle game. You pick the pieces as you move.. Most of the missing pieces in your own puzzle are actually with some people who surprisingly may be right under your nose. There's no machine or psychic to tell you who has the link or not.. lol.  You have to navigate life yourself and find those pieces for yourself. How would you find it if you barely relate with people?

And how do you relate and build good relationships with people: Your words, your acts of kindness or assistance, your occasional gifts and going out of your way to show genuine concern over what's going on in their personal lives.

Look, people feel more connected to someone who really cares about their well-being than someone who only cares about his work.

If you take a peek at the lives of very successful people, you will find out that these people don't joke with attending important people functions, going for major parties, participating in community meetings, checking up on close friends and family etc.

Despite the fact they may seem very busy, but guess what? They still find time to socialize, communicate and mingle with other people. The successful people know this very well and that's why they stay on top.

If you're a people person, you'll hardly lose. Most of those people who you have built a trustworthy relationship with over the years will always be ready to stand by you and for you. You will be an individual who is not just on his own but an individual who is united with people.

And guess what... If you were working hard towards something and let's say you know about 100 people who you have built a good relationship with, you have multiplied your chances of achieving what you're working for by 100!

With effective communication, these people will know what you're involved with or seeking for and they will easily render you any information they get that can help you make progress. Combine that with your hardwork and you're flying high in no time!

In our world today, we are becoming too individual. Most of us only care  about ourselves, our pockets and our problems. We don't really care the slightest about saying a friendly "hi" to that neighbor or even find out why he or she is looking so sad. We hurry off to work, come back and we stay on our own.

Does it really help us that much? For most people, they think that staying on their own will help them avoid problems and will make them happier or better disposed to achieve their goals. But really, does it? Is any one of us really happy being totally alone and disconnected from people around us? It's a rhetorical question we all need to ask ourselves.

If you've been working too hard and not been networking or communicating well with people you come across, please just try this exercise for this week: Try to start conversations and genuinely care about at least three different people(who you come across with daily) for this week alone. You'll be surprised at the results before the end of this week.

Care and build a strong relationship with other people rather than just yourself and keep on winning.

This blog will always be dedicated to your success..

Until next time,

Ikechukwu

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Go Into The Arena

After the final game of the 2018 FIFA world cup played yesterday between France and Croatia, many folks were arguing about the things Croatia could have done to win the competition.

They really over criticized many players. Many of them had failed to understand that being a football player in the arena is way different from watching a football game from the sidelines.

Being in the arena and actually doing what is expected of you is not always as easy as it sounds to onlookers. That's why it's not best to criticize other people too freely if we've not tried to put ourselves in their shoes by going into the arena.

It's easier for many people to laugh at someone who made a mistake during his or her speech. It is easier to say, "Oh, that speaker is really boring us to death!" or even too boo him or her off stage. But it's really not so easy for many of us to put ourselves in the arena to do better than those people.

In life, criticism is important and necessary for us to grow. However, it is important that we don't criticize others without some degree of empathy. We must understand that those who make mistakes are those who were willing to make a difference by putting themselves in the arena.

We must understand the effort they are making by at least being in the arena instead of staying idle and we must accord them the necessary respect. However, that doesn't mean we should embrace mediocrity and never criticize them. We should criticize, but give them some credit for making the effort to be in the arena.

Being in the arena isn't easy. Those in government offices, at the marketplace, those in the science or arts and those in the entertainment industry are doing a lot just by their willingness to be in the arena. It's not easy to be striving to make a difference. It's not easy to sacrifice your comfort, just so you can make a difference in the lives of other people.

Being in the arena is behind every major progress ever made in the world. It is those who have been in the arena that led change and created circumstances that rapidly transformed things.

So as a bold winner, you must push yourself into the arena. Don't relax in comfort. Strive to always be better than you are. Don't fall into the trap of criticizing people blindly without consideration. If you must criticize, always be conscious of the fact that the person you're criticizing deserves some credit for actually being out there for you to see.

When you are playing in the arena, be aware that people will criticize you. People will say negative things about you even when you're giving your best. People will want you to fail, just because you were bold enough to be in the arena. People will look for reasons to say something bad about you. But just remember one thing: "Being in the arena actually puts you way above everyone of them."

Don't look at the naysayers.. Listen to the honest critics and try to improve yourself. But never listen to those who have refused to see anything good in you. Focus on continuing to play your best in the arena and you will find out that your best will continue to evolve.

Go into the arena, transform the things that you're unsatisfied with and keep on winning! 

What Is Your Decision?

Your focus, your attitude, your determination to either do the right thing or the wrong thing, how far you go in life and even your salvation is really determined by this big question: "What is your own decision?" 

You see, it's easy to accept failure because most people around you have failed. It's easy to accept those things that you really know deep down your soul abhors because others are doing it. It's easy to become corrupt and easily cheat others because those around you look corrupt and have cheated you in the past. 

It's way easier to drop everything you've ever held dear to you as a result of a particular experience you've had or what people may have done to you. But the big question is still: What is your own personal decision? 

A lot of times, you'll hear people say that the world is hopeless, destined for total destruction and irredeemable because of what they think is happening around them. 

These people as a result of the bad news they hear everywhere easily accept that only bad things exist and only bad people survive. Then they go ahead to resign themselves into doing the very same thing they hated and abhorred. 

What's their excuse? The world is already bad, so why not be bad? But was that change in attitude really their decision? 

It's very important that whatever we choose to do in this life is our own decision and comes from a well thought out objective. Making decisions  entirely based on painful experiences and what you think other people are doing usually leads to the wrong decisions because your judgement will be clouded by fleeting emotions. 

When you look around you and all you see appears to be negativity, it should tell you one thing: You have a responsibility to create the positivity! Be the positivity! 

Yes! If you have ever been dissatisfied with what you are seeing happening in your environment, then you should know that deep down you have been called to be a pioneer of a brighter future. 

Many people don't care about the negativity you know? Even though it's affecting everyone and will ultimately consume all of us if everyone does nothing about it, some people don't care and will never care. 

These people will go through any vague, vulgar, criminal or disgusting thing ever required just to survive. But if we decide to do anything just like them to survive without channelling our God given intelligence to turning around the negativity, then what makes us all different from animals? 

In the beginning, according to the Scriptures, Adam was given dominion over everything God created. And till this day every human being including you, has been given this dominion. 

But you know the big question right now? Are you really making use of that dominion or are you letting the things that have been created in your world have dominion over you? You need to pause and reflect on that. 

What you're experiencing now and what you will experience in future all boils down to your decision right now. You can see all these negative things happening around you and decide to do nothing but watch or join in creating the negativity. 

You know what that does? It means that in future, you will be stuck with the negativity you've refused to do nothing about or the negativity you've joined in creating. 

At this point, it's best to let you know that when you're doing nothing about those problems that bother you, you are allowing those problems flourish and subliminally, you're also CREATING it! 

It may seem that doing nothing keeps you safe from creating problems. But the reverse is actually the case! As long as you're not channeling your God given talents and abilities to tackle the challenges you encounter everyday, you're among the creators of this negativity. 

We all have a responsibility to exercise our dominion over created things and we must be act on this responsibility. 

You can choose not to act, you can shrug it off as something that doesn't concern you.. You may think you're safe.. Lol. But believe me, if you're not doing anything to build or create something positive in your world.. It won't be long before you experience the effects of your nonchalance and I hope it won't be too late. 

I believe you're wise enough not to wait and see how that experience would be for yourself in future. So I'm calling on you to think and rethink your decision. 

Do you really want to not care? Do you really want to resign to hopelessness, darkness and despair? Do you really want to throw away the dominion you have been created to utilize? Do you really want to sit back and watch things get worse or hope for a sudden miracle?

Or do you want to say no to negativity? Do you want to be a ray of light, faith and hope in today's world? Would you dare to make the tough choice of dreaming about great possibilities and playing your part in the creation of such? Would you sacrifice to create the future you want today? 

The answer is entirely your choice and in your hands.. It's your decision. What is your decision? It's all up to you and I hope you make the right choice and join the pioneers of the future who refuse to live like animals but those who are willing to take dominion and be the creators of the change they earnestly desire! 

Make the right decision today and keep winning!

Be Quiet And Do Something Now

Time is one of the most wasted resources on earth, you know why? Because there are very few people who understand that "Time is Money" and that "The BEST time to start is NOW!" Learn to be quiet and do something right now. 

If you're still young and reading this, you have so much money, more money than you can ever imagine. But you've got to start working NOW to covert the time you currently have available into a fortune.

If you're much older, all hope is not lost either. Ray Kroc, Donald Fisher and some other people found success during late stages of their lives. So you can still make a big breakthrough.

The catch is that: the earlier you start, the better for you. Opportunity usually doesn't knock twice. Hence, it is important to start NOW to prepare for it, so you don't miss it.

But how are you going to recognize your opportunity if you don't have a mission and a purpose? Answer: You CAN'T. Opportunities are only seen by those looking for it. You can't find what you're not looking for. It doesn't work that way.

Let's say you've got a plan already and you're ready to start working on it, then you somehow find a reason to postpone it to start at a later date. What happens? That future date usually never comes and you forget about it. You've missed starting NOW!

Or, let's say you know what you want to do, but you make the mistake of telling other people your plans and they end up giving you one million excuses why your plans are impractical and impossible. Then you quit. You've also missed starting NOW.

I think it's counterproductive to tell people your plans for three good reasons:

1. It gives you a FALSE feeling of accomplishment. That satisfaction that you have plans can make you lazy.

2. Nine out of Ten people you tell don't give a damn about your idea. That's why they'll be ever ready to give you the epistle of failure

4. You're wasting the time you should've used to start acting now in talking about the action. A complete waste of time.

So what do you do? When you thoroughly make up your mind to accomplish something, keep quiet, think deeply and make critical plans. Don't tell anyone your plan, just start doing something NOW towards what you dream of.

It requires serious discipline on your part. You've got to eliminate all distractions and concentrate on the one single thing you've decided to do. If reading that book, playing that video game or seeing that movie doesn't help in any way to achieve you dream, eliminate it. It's a time waster.

Your luxurious spending must be cut out too. If I could get a phone of 10000 which would be just fine for me, why would I go for one of 100,000 at this level? You've got to cut off excessive spending and  focus NOW your time, energy and money on that GOAL.

Time will come when you'd have enough money to spend on luxury, not NOW. Now is time for serious and dedicated work to whatever you've decided to achieve.

Let me guess.. Some of you may claim that they're confused about what to do or that they don't know what they want to achieve. That's a lie and I'll tell you why.

Have you ever gone online to find an answer to something bothering you? If you have, you'd be honest to admit that you were inclined to take the answers of some web pages while ignoring others. 

Why? Because deep down, you already know the answer. You're only waiting for a verification from the site that suits you. Asking questions when you already know the answer is a complete waste of time.

It stalls you and it prevents you from taking the action NOW. you have to be honest with yourself. You KNOW exactly what you want and what you're passionate about. Stop deceiving yourself, pursue that dream and carve your name in gold when you've achieved.

You must FOCUS. It is important. Complete focus on what you've decided you really want to do. Then persevere and keep using your time NOW. Time will come when you'd have more than enough to get those luxuries you sacrificed and the world will become your oyster.

Till next time.

Remain Bold and Keep winning.

-Nigel

Why You Have To Care

An insight today while looking on the mirror inspired me to write this blog post on why you have to care. And I hope it doesn't end up as one of those  motivational articles online, but rather inspires you to act right.

Today, I took a long look at myself in the mirror. I haven't done this is a long while as I have let myself become so caught up in my daily activities. So I was pretty surprised at the changes I noticed.

My hair had become less dark in color, coily and quite rough. This was new because I know how my hair normally looked. I realized that I hadn't really been paying good attention to my hair for a while now and that's why it decided to grow and look the way it wanted.

What has happened? I stopped caring for my hair the way I used to. This is very important to take note of. My hair won't continue looking all nice, awesome and well taken care of if I don't care about it enough through appropriate planning and required action.

Just because I had forgotten to care about it, I won't enjoy the benefits of the hair looking great.

Which leads me to this: Whatever you don't care about(which is important to your well-being) will get worse!

The reverse is the case for the things that aren't important to you or the things that tend to bring you down.

When you don't care about people that want to talk you down or say negative things about you, you'll feel much BETTER! It's detrimental to care about negativity in any form. Caring about negative things is what leads to worry.

So the rule is: Care about those things that make you better or feel good about yourself in any way and don't care about the things that make you feel terrible.


It's not just about our looks. If you don't care about your business and monitor its growth, your business will perform worse. It's a natural law.

If you stop caring about cleaning up your house or washing your clothes, these things will definitely get worse by becoming very dirty and stinky.

If you stop caring about your fitness and stop exercising your body or hitting the gym. Your body will go out of shape and start adding more fat to anywhere it feels like.

If you stop making that young man or young woman that you love feel the love you have for them, the person might start behaving in a way that you don't like.

Now get me, the fact that you have to care doesn't mean you have to OVER CARE! I can't spend all day caring about my hair or apply nice hair creams to it. I mean, I've got a lot more to do.

I can't call my loved ones 24 hours everyday simply to tell them I love them. At a point, they may think I'm crazy. And they need their breathing space.

I can't just spend the week cleaning up my apartment all the time. I mean, who does that?

The important thing here is to make sure your CARE is REGULAR!

It doesn't have to be TOO MUCH or TOO LITTLE.. Just ensure that it's regular to keep the momentum.

Decided to recreate a regular routine for taking good care of my hair and hopefully I know it will come back to its admirable state. I have just not cared enough about it for a while.

So let this blog post be a reminder to everyone of us. Sometimes we are carried away by our goals, dreams and aspirations that we FORGET to CARE about those things that look little, which we have to care about.

Our goals and motives are very important. However, let's try as much as we can to still create time to make our "care" regular. It's difficult to really keep up with showing care to the things that matter to us, but once we get it right, it becomes a very good habit.

And no matter how carried away we get, we will find out that we still regularly care about those beautiful things in our lives which we have to care about.

Don't forget to show care to the things that really matter to you and just keep winning!

Good Stress

In the name of running away from stress, many of us have built a character of indiscipline, laziness and never going the extra mile. In today's blog post, I'll give you a fresh perspective on why stress can be a good thing for you.

A lot of us easily run away from things because they appear stressful. They look too tedious and so we can't just handle it. We will prefer to take on things that are much more easier to handle.

Maybe you got a chance to take on a wonderful opportunity that will require you to wake up say an hour earlier than you normally do. This opportunity will open doors for you in the long run. But because you feel inconvenienced and won't like to wake up earlier than your normal time, you call it stressful.

Maybe you have to hit the gym and exercise your body for at least 30 mins so that you can make progress with your fitness goals. But 30 mins is too long. You do say 5mins and you go home because working out for 30 mins looks very stressful.

Or maybe you're working on a very important project or preparing for an important test and it needs more time from you personally. It needs you to stay late nights for a couple of days, so you can adequately prepare, engage and achieve the desired results. But then you choose to abandon the project or underrate the test because it's too stressful and demanding.

There are just many instances I can give, but the point is that: our excuses using stress is often based on our unwillingness or lack of motivation to do a particular task. This is an unconsciously learned behavior.

It's not that we cannot do those things. We can choose to wake up earlier than usual. We can put in more time when we are working on a project or preparing for tests. We can push ourselves to meet our fitness goals. There are a lot of things we can actually do. But the idea of being stressed limits us from achieving what we can actually achieve.

Good stress helps us to build discipline and see the plethora of things which we never knew we were capable of. Without good stress, we will be lazy and reluctant to make those sacrifices necessary to achieve what we want to achieve and we won't even know how powerful or enduring that we can be.

Yes, there is bad stress. Recognizing that stress can be good doesn't mean that you should do everything and overly stress yourself. There are indeed things that aren't worth much fuss. And if you try to overdo everything, you'll break down, which is bad for you because your body and mind must be in top condition for you to excel. Knowing when and how to relax is important as well.

So, you must be able to differentiate between good stress and bad stress. Good stress should be related to those uncomfortable sacrifices and necessary pains you must pass through in order to achieve a desired objective in future. Bad stress is just wasting your energy for nothing.

Good stress will help you achieve your goals and save you time for relaxation. Contrary to what you may think, it is the continuous avoidance of good stress that actually steals away your time in future.

In whatever thing you do today, try and see the future consequences of doing it. Because at every moment we keep moving into the future and to be better positioned for the present, you must set yourself up for a very juicy future by passing through the good stress you need to pass through in order to achieve it.

Remember that sticking around your comfort zone is not usually beneficial to your progress. So learn those push yourself a little bit further and go the extra mile in the pursuit of your dreams. Your dreams must never die because the process looks stressful. The process only looks stressful because you aren't used to it.

No matter how stressful the requirements it looks, remember that someone was able to pass through it and become successful. So why do you think you cannot do the same or even better?

Take advantage of good stress without wearing yourself out with bad stress and just keep winning!

Until next time,

Nigel. 

The Power Of Repetition

Many atimes, we usually don't notice the power of repetition and the indispensable role that it plays in our daily lives. You see, when you do something over and over again, it starts becoming a lot more easier to do and with time it becomes am automatic process where you don't feel any stress doing it.

I remember sometime ago, I was walking up the stairs of a building where I lived with a friend of mine who was visiting me for the first time. I was leading the way and in a very short time, I was at the topmost floor while my friend was still lagging behind. When he got to the topmost floor looking quite stressed, he exclaimed: "Nigel, how do you manage to climb up and down these stairs everyday?" "It's tiring", he added. I smiled, looked at him and said, "It's because I'm used to it and you're not".

The staircase of that three storey building has become second nature to me because I had been doing it everyday and my system had quickly adapted to it as normal. To someone who isn't used to stairs, it will definitely be tiring the first time.

It's not just in climbing stairs, repetition has strong influence over the way we think and act. If you are used to thinking negatively about your situation, it will be very difficult for you to see anything good in your life until you break that repetitive thought process in you which may have become automatic.

Back in high school days, some of my peers had this belief that math was hard and therefore, they just disliked the math teacher and never paid attention in any of his classes. The result? Few of them who were lucky escaped with E's, but most of them failed woefully.

There were also some who initially thought math was difficult, but when they tried to solve questions on their own, pay more attention to the teacher and try over and over again to solve questions, they became better and good. It then dawned on them that mathematics was easy and they got excellent results.

Addiction to anything is effective as a result of the power of repetition. The more you engage in what you're addicted to, the more power it has over you.

Repetition is also at play in the way you talk, the way you respond to people, the way you dress, how disciplined you are in your life, your career and relationship lifestyle etcetera.

To break any strong cycle of repetition, it needs a high sense of consciousness about that process. And breaking an addiction to a repetitive process like porn will need a counter repetitive process which will replace the negative one.

I need you to remember this: "NOTHING IS TOO HARD OR DIFFICULT TO ACCOMPLISH, YOU'RE EITHER NOT USED TO IT OR YOU LACK THE PASSION FOR IT."

Getting to that point where something admirable becomes second nature to you is the goal. I call that point the 'elastic limit'. You subconsciously attain it by constant repetitive activity. It is then your whole system adapts to it and it becomes easy to always do it.

If you're very observant, you would notice that very successful people in any field have one thing in common. They are always relaxed, calm and poised when they are performing.

Did they master that overnight? No!  A very big No. Rather, they've invested time to repeatedly master their skills over and over again until it became an integral part of them. They've used the power of repetition to always stay relaxed and calm during activity. It becomes their second nature.

Smart and driven people understand that excellence is a habit. That's why they put in effort to GET USED TO doing those things necessary to achieve the dream they're passionate about.

There's no big magic to it. Most people don't succeed because it's either they're not passionate about what they do or that they give up too easily.

Passion for whatever you choose to do is very important. It is fuel that keeps you going until you cross that 'elastic limit' threshold where it all becomes very easy. Therefore, you must be passionate about the goal you have in mind.

On a final note, some people like to ask the question "How long will it take?". I feel that question is for losers looking for a reason to back out or for shortcuts.

They lack that passion and dedication needed to walk the walk and that's why they want to be given a particular time when they can expect to relax and quit.

Truth is: who's willing is willing. If you have truly made up your mind to succeed in anything and you have the strong drive for it, you'd be willing to walk the walk repeatedly for as long as it takes to attain the goal you have in mind.

This can be applied to achieve success in any area of life ranging from your career, relationships, lifestyle, habits, character and much more.

Till next time,

-Nigel