Saturday, December 31, 2016
Take a moment to reflect over your whole life throughout this year, from January 1st till today. Think of your experiences, your good times, bad times, successes and failures. Think of your New Year resolution for 2016 and how far you have accomplished them.
Be thankful for your successes. Be thankful that you're alive and well. Be thankful that you've made it thus far despite any other thing. It's been a long and interesting year, lots of things have happened. It's funny how one year comes and goes in a twinkle of an eye. Question is: Have you utilized it well?
Spend some time alone today and really think about the way you have lived your life this year. Are you proud of it? Do you think you've made significant progress from the previous years? If yes, congratulations to you and set higher goals for yourself in 2017. If No, take extra time to find out why. Have you spend time on things that didn't matter? Have you planned yourself poorly? Have you missed out on opportunities?
Find out why and work on it. Set clear goals for yourself in 2017 and put in your very best into accomplishing them. The fact that you still breathe means you still got a whole new chance to turn your life around. You're always one action away from achieving the exact goals you want to achieve.
If 2016 didn't go too well for you, do not despair. Make a firm resolve that 2017 is going to be far better. Don't just say it in words, plan towards it and take actions every day, no matter how little. Most people don't achieve their New Year resolutions because it ends up in just words.. You must also think it, plan it and most importantly ACT on it.
I believe 2017 will be a much better year for all of us as we dream, plan and take actions towards our goals. We must be willing to take risks anyway. Opportunities may not be so easy to come by, we must be quick to grab them with both hands whenever they appear.
I'm grateful you've been with us on this blog through this year. I believe 2017 will be much better. Keep your head high up, stay motivated, stay happy, be active because activity makes you happy and healthy. Never stop believing in your dreams.. belief is the starting point... but it doesn't end there. Respond to opportunities for action towards your beliefs. The sky won't limit us in 2017. Wishing you all a Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
You know why most youths are currently unemployed and roaming around the streets doing nothing? A number of them, don't have any skill, therefore they simply cannot do much. Many more are there because they read too much and did very little.
Reading is a very good thing, but I think when it's done to the extreme without any activity, practice or real life experience; it becomes an impediment to any individual.
In universities, book knowledge is too glorified. Nobody tells you that what will propel you out there in The Real world is WHAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO. They go on encouraging you to just read and pass exams and if you fall into that trap, they successfully turn you to robot. Students who escape this phenomenon are those who balanced their studies with activity. The school didn't do it for them, they did it for themselves.
These students take time to practice what they learn on their own. They either train themselves practically or they become an apprentice at any place where they can develop their practical skills. When these ones finish school, you don't see them waiting for jobs or begging companies to employ them. They create employment for themselves and for others with their skill.
For our reading to ever be useful, it must have a practical side to it. Why have most of us been deceived into just reading and reading and reading? Without practice and action based on the knowledge we have acquired, it is useless. And if we know that some things cannot be practiced here in the country, why study them in the first place?
Have you asked yourself why our country is still behind in terms of industrialization, manufacturing, engineering, scientific discoveries etc? With all the professors we have here, our problems major are still there unsolved?
That's another reason why the country is still behind. Our schools are not producing individuals who can contribute much to the society because they don't expose them to practicality. Focus is largely on book knowledge and papers.
Imagine how our country would be if we had graduates who can really boast of what they studied. Graduates who won't need anybody to give them jobs. Graduates who immediately go into society and start applying their knowledge and skills. You think such graduates will ever lack anything?
But currently, it's not like that. I envision a country where it will soon be like. Where all graduates and youth will successfully play a role in nation building.
Don't just spend your life here reading.. It's a big trap. Balance yourself with practice. Practice it and if you find out what you love during practice, keep learning and keep practicing. It will give an edge that robots don't have.
If you don't have any skill currently, you simply go for apprenticeship in your field or whatever you have a passion. Work for or work with someone who is already established in that field for some time. This will help you remember the theories you may have forgotten with practice.
Anybody can get a skill and master it whether educated or not. Education is something I think everyone should be privileged to have, but even if you never had an opportunity to be educated. You can gain and master any skill once your mind is open. There is no excuse for engaging in social vice. Everyone from anywhere at any time can master anything they set their mind to once they are willing to take the pains to experience it practically.
So that's it for now. As the saying goes "PRACTICE makes perfect." They know why they didn't put "reading makes perfect." Reading is only there to push us or guide us into ACTION. Practice is the most important thing!
Let no one deceive you. Someday, we will get there in this country and unemployment will be greatly reduced. I dare to say that "knowledge ALONE is NOT power!" "PRACTICE which is INSPIRED by knowledge is the new POWER."
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Let's get real here about this issue of love. I'm not going to be playful about it. I'd be as plain as I can ever be. Forget everything you've seen in the movies or read about love. Let's just be honest and practical here.
Everyone here on earth I believe needs love and appreciation. I've not met anyone who doesn't. If you claim you don't, I think you should think again. I believe we all want someone who loves us just as much as we love them.
Here's the thing: We want to be loved, but often times we are not willing to love someone in that same way that we want to be loved. We want to be loved 'more' than the other party. We want to develop a sense of pride knowing that no matter what we do, the other party will still love us. But in reality, it doesn't work that way because the love becomes selfish. And when selfishness enters any love, it doesn't last.
You need to understand that just as you need someone who will love you so much, other people need someone like that too. You don't throw the need of the other person outside. The equation will always be unbalanced and the relationship is bound to fail when one side is dysfunctional.
Why would you expect someone to have undying love for you when you don't have undying love for them? This is where the problem lies. To be happy in issues of love, you must be with someone who is willing and ready to love you just as much as you love them. Someone who is willing to take risks and make sacrifices for you just as you are willing to do same for them.
Most relationships fail because of the useless ploy to be loved "more" than the other. Love is meant to be mutual.
Don't fall in love with anyone out of pity. If you don't love them just as much as they love you, kindly take your leave. Likewise, if they don't love you or care about you just as much as you do, disengage yourself too.
Wait for the right person.. the person who will truly love you, understand you, cherish you and be ready to appreciate your mutual love as well. If you've found that person, never let that person go. Such a love is unbounded and unlimited because there is no game, record keeping, selfishness or pride involved.
Don't also beg anyone to love you too. Always be free to show love to someone you admire, but if they're not willing to reciprocate or they don't love you same way, don't stay there and try too hard to please them. They are not right for you.
Never be selfish to the extent of wanting love from someone when you know you don't love them the same way. It's dangerous and it's not the way. Clearly let people know you are not interested and don't play ball with their feelings.
If we learn to be more real about the issues of love and cut out the bull shit, we'd be in a better position to find our ideal soul mates and have more fulfilling love life and relationships.
Monday, December 12, 2016
Dr.Cally Cussons ended his speech at a seminar today with the wonderful quote: "Don't be a chameleon, be a painter." The words kept ringing inside my head because it kinda sums up everything that is required to motivate any individual who is poised to make positive change and impact in his/her society. I decided to create this post out of that quote:
Who is the chameleon? The chameleon is likened to the one who constantly changes color according to the environment he finds himself. The environment and external conditions determine how the chameleon would look like. It doesn't have a fixed color and it's unreliable.
A person can be said to be a chameleon when they're often influenced, discouraged and made doubtful by outside situations. A typical chameleon can be found always complaining about how difficult things are and how worse everything gets. The person is usually negative minded and has little control or will over things.
Who is the painter? The painter is the one who paints and beautifies nature with the colors he has. The painter looks the canvas(world), envisions how beautiful he/she wants it to look and creates it through painting. The painter is a creator.
The painter understands his ability to create the kind of picture he wants to see on the outside world. Rather than complain and change color like the chameleon, the painter focuses on painting and transforming the picture before him. The painter never complains, but rather paints.
The painter is usually positive and happy! Nothing is impossible for him/her to paint as long as he can imagine it. The present picture doesn't discourage the painter because he knows that he has the power, ability and capacity to paint whatever he wants and manipulate the picture to match his vision.
Which would you rather be? Would you let the world control you by becoming a chameleon who always complains and manages? Or Would you be the painter, the creator of his reality and master of his fate? Would you be willing to take up the great responsibility of painting the picture you want onto this world or would you let the present picture cower you into a chameleon?
I personally believe that there is a painter in every one of us. It's in all of us. God has given us the paint and the brush. Often times, we don't recognize that we even have them. Other times, we know we have them, but we're too scared to paint, we'd rather be 'safe' as a chameleon and do nothing.
But think about it. Who is really safe? The chameleon falsely thinks he/she is safe, but he is not because the external condition controls him. Anything can affect him as he has little control over himself or his environment. So he's actually unsafe.
The painter may be afraid or feel unsafe to paint, but in painting lies his ultimate security because in painting the picture he has in his mind, he helps to create a better world which ultimately does good to his safety. He controls the picture.
We must all recognize that we're painters. All it takes is to learn, do something with what we've learnt and find a way to give it to the world. Don't be a chameleon, release the painter in you!
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Consider this scenario: Let's say you're expecting a special guest today, but you don't know exactly when this guest will be coming to your house. You've cleaned up, decorated your house and prepared a wonderful meal for this visitor.
Which of these options do you think will do you good? A) Just sitting and waiting for him/her to show up. Or B) Forgetting that the person is even coming and engaging yourself with an activity; gaming, watching a movie, doing laundry etc.
The answer is obviously the latter. Why is that? Let's assume that this guest will come exactly by 3:00pm and you have no idea. Let's also assume you've finished all your preparation as early as 9:00am.
It will do you little good to just sit idly and let 6 hours of your time pass you by in the name of waiting. And whenever you're anxiously waiting for something to happen like that, it will appear as if time has become very slow. You will not be relaxed and you'll often be unhappy waiting pensively for nothing.
With the second option, you won't even know when the 6 hours will pass and your guest suddenly knocks at your door. It will appear somewhat sudden because you were enjoying yourself before he then showed up. You will get the illusion that 6 hours went so fast, because you were enjoying yourself, relaxed, not bothered and happy.
In our world today, we have so many unhappy, sad and depressed people who claim they are waiting for The right time,' 'God's time,' The best time etc. They easily become anxious and worried because it often appears that the right time takes too long to come. But that is an illusion, they only feel that way because they are just waiting for the right time and doing nothing else.
I don't think it's advantageous to idly wait for it. What if the right time would come in ten or twenty years time? Would you just wait idly for it? It is better to engage now and enjoy the steps you're taking in your daily struggle; you should be presently happy and not worried about when the right time or God's time will come. It will appear to take too long and you'll be easily discouraged if you should just wait.
Forget about when the right time will be. Should it even matter? Enjoy your daily steps in life. Your business should be to keep trying your best and making efforts in the little way you can while ensuring that you're happy and having fun in the process. The right time will take care of itself.
Do your best, stay happy and stay positive! You'd be surprised at how fast the right time will come to you!
Saturday, December 10, 2016
I was discussing with a friend sometime ago and he was telling me that without having a connection in the country, one couldn't really make any headway. He stressed that most of the available opportunities and jobs out there have already been taken by relatives of connected people.
I asked him a question, "Does it mean that people who don't have such connections do not succeed?" He reluctantly replied, "The reality is that everything is based on connection." I had to disagree with him even though there was an element of truth in his words. It was only a half truth.
Just as there were people who became successful via connections, there are also people who were not even changed by their connections. Other people got ahead through hard work and merit, while some people even with all the hard work have still not changed.
I had to let him know that there are no clear cut or easy ways to be successful. You only have to plan to always win, no matter the outcome. Don't hope only on one side. Keep your eyes open to see the opportunities to be successful that life always presents to you.
Don't depend only on connections, try to learn something and be more capable to prove yourself if need be. Don't depend only on hard work and merit, if better opportunities present themselves through your connections, gladly take them.
To play and always win this game, you don't hold onto one side of it. Holding onto your connections alone without being able to do anything by yourself, will leave you at the mercy of others. What if your connections fail you? What do you do? You LOSE.
Holding onto your intelligence and personal efforts alone may sometimes fail. What do you do? You quit? You keep exploring other options till you achieve your goal.
To always win, we must be open to all possibilities. You must be in a position where no matter the outcome, you'll always be a winner. That's true winning. The outcome cannot make you lose. You win every time because you're ready to grasp opportunities that could come from any side.
Don't lose by just holding onto one side. Be prepared and have a wide range of options. So that nothing takes you by surprise. People may disappoint and things may not work out so smoothly, but if you're a well planned person, you will always win no matter what you face.
Keep and open mind. Keep winning!
Monday, December 5, 2016
Even though Eno wasn't that spectacular when she started, she wasn't discouraged to keep drawing. She kept drawing and she gradually started improving. What kept her going was her passion for the arts. She loved to do what she was doing and that was more than enough to keep her drawing.
Today, her portraits are close to perfection and it wouldn't be surprising to see her works start competing with top artists around the world.
Here's what she has to say:
"Go for what you have passion for!"
"Never think you can't, just start and watch yourself get better. The first picture is really funny but it took courage to keep trying(referring to the above picture)."
"When you have passion for something, never give up on it just because your first try was horrible.. Keep trying."
"Also, never stay away from people who do not laugh at your small beginning. If you have any friend that believe in your abilities, keep them. I have a few of them who kept encouraging. Thanks to you guys."
"Get close to people who are ahead of you in your area of interest, thanks to some good artists that put me through some things i needed to know."
"If you have a dream, don't just stay and conclude that you can't do it, YES, YOU CAN if only you can believe in yourself."
"Develop yourself at every phase if you are not satisfied with what you have to offer."
That was all she had to say. From her example, she had demonstrated that it doesn't necessarily take genius, talent or destiny to get good at anything. All it takes is a strong passion for whatever you have strong interest in and a willingness to keep trying and improving.
Your first try mustn't be perfect. If you have passion for something, don't give up because your first try wasn't so good or because it was laughed at. Just keep 'doing' it. With time and a little patience, you'd definitely see results!
That's all it takes! See you at the top.
Friday, December 2, 2016
Addictions can be difficult to deal with but with the right tips, one can emerge a victor no matter how far one has gone. Some folks find themselves imprisoned by smoking, drinking, pornography, spending time with T.V or social media (especially in this age), masturbation and the likes.
Releasing oneself from these ugly monsters is not a walk in the park, it can be so frustrating that some often resort to fate and throw in the towel, living a miserable life afterwards. They even go as far as accepting the saying that, "We don’t break addictions they break us."
The misery that comes with addiction can be immediate or long-term, it can come in form of health, emotional, psychological issues which leads to strain in relationships, loss of jobs and so on.
Here are few tips to get yourself a bail:
Acknowledge the existence of a problem
It is a matter of great importance to tell yourself that there is a problem before anything else. Since those who are well have no need of a physician, it is advised that you carry out this litmus test, you never can tell if you need help. Do you spend all your free time on a “particular thing”? or do you find yourself itching to engage that habit anytime you abstain for a while? Some become nervous or anxious and in severe cases are unable to do any other thing unless they satisfy that strong urge. These are signs though not an exclusive list.
Make the decision to turn a new leaf
Having identified that you have a problem, the next step is to decide to change. This requires making a conscious effort to turn a new leaf and the engaging the mind is key here. Compare the pleasure derived from your addiction with the adverse consequences. Also, think through the benefits of being free because subsequent actions will stem from the mind. You must be willing to make that firm choice to set yourself free.
Commit it to God
The decision has been made but there is need to pray to God about it. Always remember that when we commit our ways to God he will establish them. Engage the power of God trusting in the sufficiency of his grace to heal you of that addiction. Research has shown that many people who are addicted use it as a resort to fill a void in their lives. Sometimes addictions are caused by loneliness, rejection, hardship, loss of loved ones and so on but in all these God can help you break those chains.
Share with someone
It is said that a problem shared is half solved but people who have been betrayed in the past find it difficult to trust. The sad news here is that secrecy is a fertile ground for addictions to thrive so there is need to find someone. This should be someone who does not judge you but genuinely cares for your wellbeing and might be tough on you at times, or better still someone who has gone through this process. In some cases, professional help is highly recommended.
Sanitize your environment
Analyse your addiction and check for things that trigger it. It might be environment, people, situations or mood. You are advised to change friends if they have anything to do with the addiction. Carefully avoid occasions that will fuel the urge to go back on the habit. Starve the habit, and try replacing it with a new one. There is a great need to have a new habit (a positive one) because nature abhors vacuum.
On this journey of overcoming addiction, persistence needs to be your right-hand man. There will be those low times of failure but don’t let it discourage you. In those moments, find ways of doing it better in other to keep making progress.
Celebrate each level of progress. Ask God daily for his grace and be grateful to him for your victories and failures. Especially in our failures because in him lies the strength to move on and on.
Apply the tips, get yourself bailed out and be free!
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
I once came across a joke where a certain woman wanted to know her husband's reaction if she left home without notice. So she decided to write him a letter explaining that she was tired of him, didn't want to live with him anymore and loved him no more. She also mentioned that she had left their home to be with her lover.
After writing it, she put the letter on the table in their bedroom and hid under the bed. When her husband came back home, he saw the letter and read it. Then, he wrote his own message down and began to sing joyfully and dance while changing his clothes.
He said, "Yes, this woman is finally gone for good! " So he took out his phone, dialed someone, then said: "Hey sweetie, I'm just changing my clothes then I will join you. As for the other fool, it has finally dawned on her that I was fooling around behind her back so she left me. See you soon, honey!" Then he walked out of the room.
In tears, the wife got up from under the bed and decided to read what her husband must've written on the letter. When she picked it up and read it, it said: "I could see your feet, you idiot. I am going out to get some bread. Prepare my lunch when you're out from under there. I love you." The wife just stood there smiling.
When I saw that joke, I imagined that it wouldn't have been fun if the husband immediately told her that he could see her legs coming out from there. It was fun, loving and entertaining because he completely pretended not to know.
It's natural for human beings to want to prove that they know certain things very well and they like to demonstrate their knowledge given every opportunity they got. It's a good thing, but it could also be a fault when taken to the extreme.
Sometimes, it is wiser to pretend like you don't know some things, so that you'll gain more knowledge about them or even buy time to take a better course of action. You could get some other people's different ideas about a subject and perhaps you could even learn something new.
The problem we often face is that we often see ourselves as too wise and that we probably know a whole lot of things. The truth is: You never really know as much as you may think.
Our world is infinite and there limitless opportunities and vast resources to learn. Things are not always black and white. When you learn to sometimes play the fool, you'd be surprised at the things you'll find out.
You mustn't take everything too seriously as well. There are lots of people also facing problems and issues in this world and believe you me, you're not alone in whatever you're facing. So don't make it look as if you're the only one encountering challenges.
Try playing the fool sometimes, relax and just have fun watching how people try to take advantage of you because they think you don't know. Let people see you as a fool sometimes, then when the situation calls for it, surprise them with what you know.
Don't always try to let people know that you know. You'll appear as arrogant and disrespectful. People don't usually like being around such people. So keep the balance. Know when to come out plain and when to just chill out and play the fool.
Until next time,
I remain Nigel.
Monday, November 28, 2016
Every day each of us is given 24 hours. Some use it very well, while some others waste it. But we are all given that exact 24 each day. Those who are running the world today, winning and taking territories as they want are masters in the game of utilising time.
There is one way you can train yourself to utilise your time very well and that is by always having a plan. A plan is what guides and motivates you towards whatever you wish to achieve in this world. With a plan, it's difficult to waste your time, trust me.
In 24 hours people travel to different countries, attend many meetings, give speeches, run businesses etc. In that same 24 hours, some people achieve nothing. The difference is in having a plan.
Without a plan, we'd be merely floating and our time will be poorly utilized. It's true that things may not always work according to how we plan it, but that shouldn't stop us from having one because a plan is what keeps us going.
Many people live average or below average lives today because they do not plan adequately well. They just wake up, eat, do what they can do to survive for that day, then go to sleep and repeat the cycle the next day.
If you're in doubt, ask people around you where they see themselves in the next five years or ask them about their plans. You'd notice that most people don't have a direct answer to these questions. You'll often hear stuff like "MAYBE I'll do this or that.." "I MAY.... " or non specific answers like "I'll get a job" "I'd be working" etc.
If you're really planning your life well, your answers should be direct. There should be no in betweens. Something like, "I'll have my own restaurant specialising in cakes and chips," sounds more like someone who knows where he/she is going. And that person more likely to achieve it because he's not afraid of being specific.
Indeed, plans may not go exactly as we planned, but the good thing is that it keeps us going and it enables us recognize opportunities that are in line with our plan. As long as you're working with a plan, you must be open minded to see where you need to adjust it as things go on.
For example if you want to be in a particular school in two years time and you have been saving for it with your current plan, you should be quick to notice when a scholarship opportunity for that same school suddenly shows up. It could suddenly come up in a few months or even weeks. At that point, it will be stupid to ignore it and just 'stick to plan.' You simply apply for the scholarship and continue saving just in case.
The point is: Having a plan shouldn't make you rigid. You must be flexible within your plan because things change, but even in your flexibility, you still have your goal in mind.
From experience, It's difficult to find what you're not looking for. It is only when you seek that you'll find. Plans motivate us to keep seeking. We should have a plan to find whatever we want, but if better options to finding it show up, we must be ever willing to embrace it.
Don't quit on planning because things are not working out the way you planned it. It will make you lazy and you'd miss opportunities and waste your time. Sometimes, things don't work out according to plan for your own good. The question is: Is your mind Open to see the opportunities that are available to still achieve your goal even though your plan seems not to work?
Life has a way of surprising us. We must keep planning, no matter the challenges faced, but let us not plan with the mindset that things will work out exactly the way we planned. Things could work out faster, more easily or through other unthinkable ways that you never thought possible, so plan, but be open minded to see answers coming from an entirely different direction.
Just keep winning!
Thursday, November 24, 2016
When I was a little kid in primary school, some of my folks used to call me "Big Head." And anytime they said that to me; I got angry and reacted in a negative way that seemed kind of pleasing to them.
I often wondered why they did it: Was my head really that big? Was it because I occasionally came top of the class? Or were these kids plainly bent on offending me? These questions bothered me and then one day I reported to my teacher.
She smiled, looked at me and said, "Ike, anytime they call you big head again, simply pretend like you didn't hear them and continue with whatever you're doing."
To be honest, I wasn't happy with her recommendation. I expected her to flog the hell out of these kids and make them pay. Little did I know that her advice will go a long way to form some of the basic principles which I live by.
I did as she asked. It was difficult initially because when they saw that I wasn't reacting the way I used to, they intensified their efforts. But I thank my stars that I kept calm.
After some days of trial, they naturally became bored. I wasn't entertaining them anymore with my anger, so it wasn't fun for them anymore. They just had to adapt, call me my real name and found other ways to make themselves happy.
That was how that behavior came to an end. As the years went by, I can still recall similar situations where I have been called some rude names and when I plainly ignored it, it usually happened that the offender usually came back to apologize.
I cited these few examples to point out how powerful our ability to ignore certain things are. Some people have become so predictable and reactive today that anyone could easily guess their reaction to anything.
Some people flare up so easily when they feel they are offended. Others engage in arguments that waste their time and benefits them nothing. Few people are actually aware that they possess the power to ignore certain things.
I'm not saying you should ignore everything. We mustn't ignore the things that will help us achieve our goals or recognize opportunities for success. The point is to ignore the things that are targeted to bring you down, get you angry, make you lose focus, get you jealous or get distracted.
Anytime we react to those things, we simply lose our direction and time for nothing. Things will happen and people will always say or do things. You can't control everybody or every occurrence, but you can control how you respond to them. You either ignore it or you pay attention to it.
Successful people who have a sense of direction and who know where they are headed usually train themselves to ignore distractions and focus on their objective. Ability to ignore is an ingredient for success.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
What a twist of events! After 7 gruelling draws out of the 8 chess games played so far by the contesting chess masters, it turns out Sergey Karjakin, the 26 year old from Russia is the first to draw the blood in a game against Chess World Champion, Magnus Carlsen.
The game played yesterday was a tough one in which Magnus Carlsen played very ambitiously. He was really playing to win. I feel he was tired of all the draws and played very aggressively that he made some errors which led to his loss.
The Russian challenger remained calm and wasn't really perturbed by the Current World Champion's surprising moves. He kept his cool and kept playing solidly. Carlsen kept going for it, while Karjakin was just patiently waiting and defending properly. Consequently, Carlsen ignored certain principles and made errors because of that which led to his loss.
I personally have learnt a lot from this surprising game. It's not all about playing aggressively and trying to win at any cost. In everything one does, one must be calm, relaxed and do it without fuss, worry or discomfort.
Whenever we're so bent on any desired result, sometimes it makes us worry and disposes us to make some wrong decisions. No matter the results we need to achieve, we must learn to do the work required for it in a calm and relaxed manner.
I think this was the psychology behind yesterday's results: Calmness winning over Tension. There are still four games to go and the next game will be played tomorrow , 23rd November 2016.
I hope Carlsen learns his lesson and tries to remain calm in the next games. And to you reading this, in anything you do, don't put your mind so much into it that you're distracted from the present. Don't be overzealous about anything. Forget the result you want and simply focus.
Whatever you want to achieve, just calmly focus on doing what you need to do. Don't let concern for the outcome bother you. Forget about the outcome and concentrate on what you got to do presently. I tell you, nothing can stop a calm and focused mind.
Hope to see more interesting games,
Remember to stay calm and confident,
See you next time.
Monday, November 21, 2016
Many people desire to go to heaven when they die. "Heaven is a perfect place where you have anything you want," they say. It is a good ideal and I'm not against it. My question to every one of them is: "Since you're still alive here on earth, why not make this world a better place?"
The way I see it, most people are just waiting to die and go to this perfect place. Most of them have given up on life and console themselves with the promise of heaven. They don't want to have anything to do with this earth. "The earth is corrupt and must be destroyed," they say.
These people are mostly poor people who see themselves as "nice and good" and they claim to be guaranteed of heaven because they are saints on earth who have not committed any sin.
Saturday, November 19, 2016
"I'm positive that I'd be rich," "I believe I will excel in whatever I do," "I believe I'd be a president," "I believe I will be a great speaker," these are positive words, but simply saying them will not make these wishes come to pass.
A lot of New Age information going around tells people that they should simply visualise and think about whatever they want and they'll be attracting it to themselves. Taking this information literally will only lead to disappointments and frustration.
It's wonderful to want to be described as positive individuals, but do we really know what that means? Being positive is much more than just thinking, visualization and believing. There is more to it than some people probably think.
Friday, November 18, 2016
Consider these two different people: Mr. A and Mr. B. Mr. A spends his time focusing on all his problems and easily sees reasons to complain. He continues to argue about how things are supposed to be, but really does nothing about it.
Mr. A continuously looks out for who or what is going wrong and as a result, that's what he gets. He gets angry over little things that people do and he easily gives up when any challenge comes up.
Mr. B is different. He has conditioned his mind to simply focus on what he wants to achieve. He has refused to see anything else that is negative or anything that tries to discourage/stop him.
As a result, Mr. B doesn't see problems as Mr. A does, he sees opportunities for him to realise his goal in what looks like a problem. Mr. B doesn't complain, rather he tries to do what he can do solve any problems and move towards his goal.
What people are saying or doing and the way things have changed is not a problem to Mr. B. He's too focused to let these things disturb his peace. He's always happy because he clearly sees his goal and works towards it.
Which of these men do you think would become successful as time goes on? I think the answer should be easy. Whatever you want to see in this world is what you'd keep getting.
What are you focusing your energy on? Are you spending time focusing on negatives? Do you find the fault with every little thing? Are you easily discouraged from focusing on your targets?
Or are you really focused on what exactly you want yo achieve? Do you see the opportunities everywhere? Do you see the good in people even with behaviours that should get you annoyed?
Think of your ability to focus as a magnifying glass. If you spend too much time trying to see something, you'd see more and more of it.
Therefore, if there is any reoccurring experiences you are currently facing in any area of your life, you should really think about what you've been focusing on and change it.
If you're always meeting the same kinds of people, if you're experiencing the same kind of results, if people seem to behave the same way to you etc. These things are feedback to tell you what you've been focusing on.
Things are just the way they are. We don't have to talk about every problem. If we can do something with it, fine, why talk about it first? If we can't do anything about it, there are other problems we must be able to solve, no need to cry about it either.
Your FOCUS is the target. Its like a shining light. If you can keep on converging it to what you want to achieve, your energy will be intense and your goal will become clearer and clearer to you.
If you just focus on everything that happens to you. You shine that light in many directions and you end up confused. If you focus it on negatives, you'd see more negativity.
What you see is simply what you get.
Till next time,
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Have you ever wondered how it would feel if all your predictions came true? Wow.. It is great. And I've been having fun with this precious knowledge ever since I learnt it. Pals, it's like everything is bending to my will and command. Simply works like magic.
You're lucky if you're among those reading this right now because I'm about to let you in on this great secret. It's the golden key that let's you accurately predict the future.
I know you're probably in doubt. And you may be wondering how possible it is to do so. Well, all I ask is that you keep reading because after that, you'd experiment and see for yourself.
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Many people complain that they don't have some things they really deserve or that despite their hardest work, they achieve very little. Therefore, they are discouraged in whatever they do and tend to stop giving out their best.
For some other people, it appears that they do very little work and all the money is following them. They don't have to stress themselves like others, but money just keeps chasing them.
"Why is life this way?" they ask. "Life is not fair. " they scream. Some start trying to explain it by saying its the hands of fate and not everyone has the same destiny. When they're satisfied with whatever excuse they've cooked up, they're comforted in their misery and quit trying.
Here's the truth... Life is completely fair. Life has been so well arranged that everyone gets exactly what they deserve. It appears some people have it easier when you only look at where they are presently.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Why is it that most blacks are the ones complaining about being treated unfairly or unjustly? Why are we the ones complaining about racism all the time? Why are we the ones who are always on the defensive?
The answer lies in inferiority complex. When you are already feeling inferior about yourself and where you are from, it is easy for you to see faults in what other people are saying or doing.
You are always complaining about how they treat you and how they disrespect you. But do you really respect and value yourself? Or are you quick to pick offense over any little thing?
Monday, November 14, 2016
What has your attention? What do you spend much of time focusing it on? Do you look out for existing opportunities or do you keep looking at things that went wrong?
Our attention has tremendous power and if we can direct it to the appropriate endeavors, we can actually come up with ideas and plans to greatly improve our lives and the society.
Most of us channel much of our attention to things that do not really add much value to our lives. We are either focused on sports, movies, entertainment etc. These things are important when engaged in once in a while.
Much of your attention has to be channeled to something that you can make a contribution into. Don't channel your attention to the past or on things that you haven't done so well in.
Friday, November 11, 2016
Kathy claims she's in love with two different guys and she's having a hard time figuring out who to choose between the two. She's been dating both of them simultaneously for about a year now.
She has continued dating them and increasingly being more reluctant to make up her mind. It seems as if she's just enjoying the feeling of having two lovers and has forgotten to take a decision on which of them to stick with.
Turns out that with time, the two men dating Kathy got to find out about the game she has been playing with the two of them and Kathy consequently lost them both. Till date she still regrets not taking a decision on time.
Kathy's story is just an example out of many cases of being indecisive. Every moment of our lives we are faced with different choices and the choices we make go a long way to define who we are.
Thursday, November 10, 2016
I am thoroughly convinced that no matter the amount of evidence presented to someone whose belief is absolute on an issue, that person will never change their position on it.
Our beliefs are so powerful that they continue to control and shape our everyday lives. It's not like your beliefs actually changes anything in reality, it's just that the beliefs help you interpret reality differently and see things you never saw before.
I'm pretty sure you're familiar with the expressions "I said it," and "I thought as much." These are so common because people are often conditioned to see what they believe in and therefore confirm it with those words.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
From the Moment the Business tycoon and former TV reality star made known his intentions to run for America's presidency in June 2015, Donald Trump started facing serious challenges.
He was called all sorts of names ranging from a xenophobe, misogynist, bigot, rapist etc and he was labelled as one who had no respect for women. They released videos of him making some inappropriate statements years ago which he apologized for.
Allegations from various women who have been quiet started coming up against him from nowhere. They all claimed Trump sexually harassed them. All these were to tarnish this man's image and smear his reputation.
But there is something about Donald. J. Trump which helped him pull through even with all these labels and accusations. There was something that made the American people continue believing in this man even with lots of information from the media saying negatives about him.
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Here's Jack.. He has read almost every book on how to get rich and successful in life. He can tell you everything about Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad and even the Cash Flow Quadrant.
But Jack doesn't have enough money to feed himself, talk less of pay his rent. His trousers even have visible holes in them. He's so poor. Why is this so even with his wide knowledge on how to become wealthy?
Meet Michael, He just graduated from the University. He knows every theory and formular in the engineering field. He has proven himself by being able to memorize and give back to his teachers what they gave him.
Friday, November 4, 2016
You must have heard it a number of times "What will be will be." This is a phrase that people often use when they want to give up on something.
But what will be, won't be if you do nothing about it yourself. If you're a student, you have to study your books for you to be able to pass the examinations. You don't sit back and say that what will be will be while doing nothing.
If you're a doctor, you don't tell your patients that what will be will be, then allow them die! Of course, you try and find out what's wrong with them, then see what you can do.
If you're hungry, you'll have to cook or find something to eat. You don't sit there and say what will be will be about feeding, then stay hungry.
Monday, October 31, 2016
How many times have you gotten the response "I'm just being myself." when you ask people why they didn't do some things or why they did something wrong?
My guess is: quite a lot of time. "I am happy to be myself" is one of the most popular responses these days. People are adopting it because it makes them feel good about themselves.
But do we really get what it means to be oneself or are we using the phrase as an excuse to dodge certain things we are meant to do?
Being yourself actually means that you tell yourself the truth at all times. If you did something wrong, you should tell yourself the truth that you messed up and find ways to correct it.
If you feel like you need to improve, you'd accept it and work on yourself to become better. If you aspire to be like someone else or even better, you tell yourself the truth and make plans to become so.
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
These three words were meant to be an expression that connotes a deep feeling of love and respect for another. These days it has become overrated.
"I love you" has become so common these days that the true meaning of the words have lost its taste. People say it so easily without even knowing what they're saying.
Some say those words only when they want something from you. They hide behind these words and when you fall for it, you get to see what's actually behind it.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
I've been quiet about this whole argument over gender equality and feminism. Equality does not mean that men and women are the same.
We are obviously not the same. Look at a man and a woman and you'd clearly see we are not the same.
Equality in that sense means that Men and Women should be given equal opportunities. Women could do some things better given the same opportunities.
"Johnny, just wait for the electrician to come o." Johnny's father said.
"Papa, I can fix this thing, am I not an engineering student?" Johnny replied ignoring his father's suggestion. It happened that Johnny was mildly electrocuted and he was lucky it was just mildly.
"Did it shock you?" came the question from the father. He must've heard some sparks and his son's muffled scream.
"No Papa, it did not shock me o, let's just wait for the electrician to come." replied Johnny, who has been humbled.
Thursday, October 20, 2016
I was going through Facebook updates this morning when I stumbled upon a friend's post. He wrote down the words of his late father to him:
"My son, I have no doubt that you will make it, so don't be in a hurry, but be determined, be courageous and above all be brave, fear nobody but God..."
I had to spend a few moments thinking about that. I saw the totality of life contained within these words. All the ingredients to be a successful human being were all pointed out in a few lines. Of course, it got my attention.
I'll love to analyze it:
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
When a child is born, the mind is very pure, untainted, unbiased. The mind is described as 'Tabular rasa' according to Francis Bacon.
Nothing clutters this beautiful, natural and endowed mind. That's why children are very inquisitive. The way the look at your face for a long period of time says it all. Even the way they play.
Have you really observed little children play? That's the most beautiful thing to see. Just make sure they don't know you're watching them and observe how creative
Sunday, October 16, 2016
A country which has the right political systems in place is a country poised towards greatness. No country can go far with bad politics.
Most people would love to write off politics. They don't care about it. They don't care about who rules them. To these people, all politicians are corrupt and evil and nothing can change that.
Their minds are made up about politics and the state of affairs of their nation. More and more people are buying into this idea and are becoming indifferent to politics.
"What can we do?" They often ask. Look at what's happening so far with all our indifference and optimism. Things are getting worse and more inappropriate persons
Saturday, October 15, 2016
Growth comes with truth. You must free yourself from any limiting beliefs and embrace the truth at all times. When the truth is known, it is easier to make plans that will work and deliver results. Learn to see things as they are and stop making unnecessary assumptions and inferences. The truth is usually plain and simple.
Love is the essence of all creation. When you love what you're doing and you love yourself, growth is inevitable. Always embrace the light of love. Learn to feel good
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Inasmuch as we would like to always forget about the past and focus on the present, we must also be cognizant of the fact that the past can sometimes rear its ugly head up.
Last Friday, a tape made in 2005 was released which showed the current Republican presidential nominee making some lewd comments about women.
That was 11 years ago. Most people would have easily forgotten about that. But you see, it
Sunday, October 9, 2016
I learnt about a man, who was making a presentation to young adults at a seminar. Towards the end of his speech, he brought a $100 bill and told his audience that he would give out the money to one of them.
He continued, "This money will be given to one of you who really wants it. " "So which of you really wants this money? "
Lots of the young persons listening to him raised up their hands in lightening speeds. Some others waved two hands while a few of them stood up also raising their hands.
But then, there was this young girl that did something different. While others people were busy screaming, standing and raising up their hands waiting to be given the money, this girl
Saturday, October 8, 2016
I've heard it from a large number of people. "Manage" "Make do with what you have" "Live your life in this particular way" "Things are tough, so drop your lofty dreams and settle for less".
Things like these are said everyday to different people around the world. Everyday you're told to manage and settle for things you don't want because life is not a bed of roses.
You start listening to them and you take up the job you know you clearly hate. You marry the
Thursday, October 6, 2016
I downloaded the piano tiles game a month ago after I noticed it was quite popular among my peers. I wanted to find out what made the game enticing to play. So I downloaded and started playing it.
It was a simple and lovely game. To play, you just have to keep the music playing by pressing the moving tiles across your screen as they roll past.
What made me love the game was the different classical music tunes contained in it. And the songs really brought back some good childhood memories.
I was instantly hooked. And I played that game for hours at a go. To make matters worse, it
Monday, October 3, 2016
One of the most common mistakes most people make when trying to do something is not preparing for the worst thing that could happen.
This leaves them in a position where they could easily get discouraged should they encounter difficulties hitherto unprepared for.
It is wise for you to always prepare for the worst possible thing that could happen before
Sunday, October 2, 2016
I learnt something from playing a game of darts yesterday. It's amazing how simple things like that teach us life lessons if we really get the message.
I wasn't used to playing darts always, so when I decided to play it again with some friends yesterday after a long period of time, I seriously got worse at aiming.
I wondered what the problem was and why I often missed. I'm naturally a very persistent person, so I decided that I will continue playing until I achieved my target which was to not miss any of the 8 darts I threw at the target board.
I tried many times and it was difficult to achieve that. I had to start over anytime I missed. In The Course of these attempts, I discovered something.
My mind was focused on perfectly gripping the dart and positioning myself well. I was often too conscious of holding the dart that I overlooked where my target was.
I was trying to throw the dart with the perfect grip and the perfect stance. But all the needless worry about perfection clouded my mind.
Then I decided to forget about being perfect in playing. I didn't want to throw with any perfect style. I proceeded to throw my dart effortlessly with only the target in focus.
Guess what? I threw 1, 2, 3, 4 …..8 darts without missing none of them. I smiled for certain and I saw the futility in trying to be too perfect.
All I needed to do was forget about the steps and just throw my dart while focusing on the board. That's all I had to do.
But you see, I often missed because I was concentrating on something that didn't even matter.
Those who discovered the best grips and postures to play darts discovered it out of their frequent and natural play.
They didn't try to fit in. They just played naturally and discovered the new styles you're trying to copy.
Being yourself is often best. This is not to say that one should not emulate best practices from experts. We must understand that the emulations should not be our only way. We must be free to try different things naturally by ourselves.
That gives us the chance to discover our own peculiar style which may not have been discovered yet.
So, forget about always being as perfect as another. Just do what you can do naturally while maintaining focus on your objectives.
The results will amaze you.
Saturday, September 17, 2016
This afternoon after revising my notes, I went outside my balcony and took out time to look at the sky.
I observed the movement of the clouds and the sun, which was shining from a distance. The Sun was out there as always and kept on shining and giving out light to the day.
I felt as if it was smiling at me because I couldn't remember the last time I cared
Sunday, September 11, 2016
It's easier to believe you're a failure when you've tried many things and failed.
It's easy to lose hope when the circumstances surrounding you look hopeless.
It's easy to think you're not good enough when you don't get the results you expect.
Here's the thing you have to know: There is no easy way out of any challenge
Friday, September 2, 2016
I watched the movie '3 Idiots' a few years ago and I guess I didn't learn the real lesson hidden behind that movie.
I probably watched it for fun and I was inspired to an extent. But it took a few more years to get the hidden message in it.
For many years, I've lived my life doing as I'm told and following laid out patterns for me. I restricted myself from really being who I was and lived like a robot.
I never followed my passions. I never did the things that I really needed to do to make other
Sunday, August 28, 2016
You studied very hard for an examination and when the results came out, you got a "C", get over it!
You ask a girl out on a date and she turns you down, get over it! There are a million other girls out there willing to go on a date with you.
Your girlfriend or boyfriend just broke up with you for no reason, get over it. He/she may not be the right one for you.
You post your picture on social media and few to no people liked it or commented on
Thursday, August 25, 2016
This world is just like a big movie in reality. There are different scenes of the movie playing out in different locations around the world.
Only God can watch every part of this complex movie. Each individual only watches a unique part of the movie which can NEVER BE watched by any other person but the individual. Think about that for a second.
Everything going on around you is watched by you uniquely! Even if someone had been going to the same places with you all your life, you
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
It's impossible to make other people happy when you're unhappy yourself. It's important that we all understand the fact that our own happiness is very important.
Most people would like to buy into the idea of sacrificing their own happiness so that other people will be happy.
I think this idea is flawed because in sacrificing your own happiness, you end up unhappy while trying to make other people happy. Does it make sense to you?
Why do we often forget that it's very possible to make other people happy while also being
Saturday, August 20, 2016
I think the reason why the problems we face in life stick around for too long is that we focus too much on them instead of focusing on their solutions.
If I want to solve a math question, I don't stay there lamenting about how large the question is or how difficult it looks or how lengthy the process to solve it entails. I only look at the
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
A girl played a prank on me recently. When I gave her my phone, she downloaded her profile picture on Facebook, logged into my Whatsapp account and changed my own profile picture with hers without my knowledge.
I didn't often log into my Whatsapp and the few times I did, I didn't bother to check my profile picture, so I was oblivious of what had
Monday, August 15, 2016
While playing a game of Billiards with some friends at a game center, I overheard someone complaining about how hopeless the situation in our country was. He was thoroughly convinced that nothing else could be done and there was no hope that things would ever be better.
I was just positioning myself to hit the cue ball with my stick, but when I thought about what he said and the few people who were nodding
Sunday, August 14, 2016
This article was originally posted by me as a guest post on the website www.pickthebrain.com .
Here are eight ways to develop a strong mental attitude:
1. Love Yourself The Way You Are
This seems so obvious but very difficult for most people to do. Most people hate themselves and their lives. They hate their looks, their jobs, their country and sometimes life itself. This attitude greatly affects their outlook on life and they see negativity in everything.
This is simply because they've not accepted their realities. You have to love yourself the way you are and accept whatever life has dealt
Friday, August 12, 2016
Some days after I wrote my most liked Facebook Post, I simply became afraid to write again. Ideas came, but I was reluctant to put them down. Why? Because I've been too conscious of not writing another article which will not be as good as that one.
But then, If I stopped writing because I feared that I wouldn't meet that same standard, then I may never write again.
After thinking about this fresh phobia for some time, I felt funny and a bit naive.
In truth, there was nothing to be afraid of. Whether people liked my posts or not, it didn't
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
It is sad that in rapidly developing world like ours, few people actually know their purpose in life whereas the majority of people do not.
When few people know their purpose, they can only solve a tiny fraction of the various problems in our world, but imagine a world where most people know exactly their various purposes and contribute to solving problems with it.
Our era has been bombarded with lots of information, belief systems, orthodox rules, etc which has made it more difficult and confusing for an average individual to actually discover his/her purpose.
This article has been designed to help you find that purpose and be rest assured that after reading this article and following the directions therein, you'll find your purpose here on earth.
To start with, look at these quotes by Oprah Winfrey :
"I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of a service... "
"Your calling isn't something that somebody can tell you about. It's what you feel. It's the thing that gives you juice. The thing that you are supposed to do. And nobody can tell you about what that is. You know it inside yourself."
I want you take some time to understand those two quotes before we proceed. There are a few things I'll like you to know upfront. No one else but yourself can tell you what you're meant to do or to be, because you know it already. You feel it deep down your gut. Does it mean that this article won't help? No! Read on.
Since your ideal purpose is something that I cannot tell you. I'll only tell you about a proven way used by successful people to discover their own purpose and live decisively. I'll tell you a way to identify what you really feel and connect it to your purpose just like these people.
Now, We are all unique creatures who share just ONE ideal purpose. In other words, there is ONE purpose which every human being on earth has. The common purpose is that 'We are created to be productive and add value to our society."
This is the ultimate purpose we all share, but the catch is that there are "infinite" number of ways to fulfill this purpose. You mustn't fulfill the purpose the same way another person fulfills it. And this is where a personal purpose comes in. Which is why you're here.
A personal purpose suits our uniqueness. It merges your passion (what you love to do) with the general purpose. Therefore, it puts you in a position where you are fulfilling the general purpose while being very happy doing so. This is what we all want. Finding it involves deep thinking and thorough knowledge of oneself.
For example, one who has passion for making people laugh would fulfill the common purpose of adding value to society by becoming a comedian(personal purpose).
One who loves treating the sick can fulfill the common mission by becoming a medical doctor(personal purpose). It is important to love whatever you do with which you're fulfilling the common purpose with. When you really love what you do, you're more productive and aware, therefore you create greater value to the world.
So this is how you find your own personal purpthat It involves three key steps.
Get a book and a pen. Write down every thing that you love to do. Whatever you're addicted to or whatever you're obsessed with, write it down too.
Don't let any sentiments stop you from writing out everything you really like to do. Let's say you're doing a job you don't like or studying a course you hate, write down the things you'll rather do. The things that make you can't wait for the work day or class to be over. The things that come to you naturally when you're not occupied. Your unique talents.
Making noise, playing games, singing, dancing, thinking, anything... This is the first step. I guess you've penned down a lot of things. Now here's the second step. This step is important to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Most people can't tell the difference between what they just like to do and what they're really passionate about. If whatever you think you love to do DOES NOT add ANY VALUE to HUMAN LIVES, then it's not your passion. You just like to do it.
Cancel everything on that list that does not have the capacity to add value to the society. Things like smoking, playing some video games, watching movies, sleeping.. stuff like that should be cancelled. The only things that should be left on that list are the things that you love doing which adds value to society.
Write down everything left on paper and fold them.(I'm assuming more than one item is left) Close your eyes and pick one of them. Just kidding, that's not necessary. Look at the remaining things and think of ways you can add value to the society through any of them. Once you've thought about that, make plans and fearlessly take action in line with them.
If you can work on all of them at same time, fine, but I suggest taking them one at a time. Find ways to develop yourself in these areas and how to start adding value to life through them.
If after step 2, you had one thing left, you've found your personal passion. Simply, follow it! If you cancelled out everything on your list, which I think will be very rare and impossible, I suggest you think deeply again or ask people you trust to give you candid opinions on what they think you'll be very good at. (This usually works). But, I believe if you did step 1 very well, you can find something you love to do that can add value to human lives.
Note If you love sports, you can add value to life through it by becoming a trainer, fitness instructor etc. Don't be too hasty to cancel out your passions except when they're totally useless by your own judgement. But think deeply about how you can add value with anything you love to do before cancelling.
I believe that if you take these steps, you'll definitely find your purpose. I hope this helped you. Don't forget to share this article and help others discover their purpose.
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
What I'm about to tell you happened yesterday in town when I went to use my ATM at a Diamond bank branch. I walked into the ATM booth with a friend of mine Daniel.
We were quite discouraged at the crowd outside waiting to withdraw money, but compared to the previous banks we've checked
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