Showing posts with label Mentality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mentality. Show all posts

Saturday, April 14, 2018

You Are Not Alone

you are not alone

Many people around the world today often make the mistake of wrongly thinking that they are the only ones facing certain situations in their personal lives.

This leads most of them into depression, a negative mindset and even suicidal thoughts. In this article I will try to make you see reasons why you are not alone in the challenges you face.

Growing up, I used to think that I was all alone in many of the circumstances I found myself.

As a teenager, I didn't really get along so well with my mom. Maybe it was because Dad had passed away when I was much younger. But we often disagreed on many occasions because of my lack of understanding or trying to see things from her own perspective.

I often thought I was alone in this and it often affected my predominant disposition because I felt unloved. It was until when I discussed with other seemingly happier colleagues that I realized some of them had actually been through more serious disagreements with their parents. But they didn't let it stop them from being themselves.

At parties or picnics, I usually felt awkward as regards how to act and behave. I was too self conscious wondering what people expected me to do and what I should do. Scared of making mistakes and stuff. All these kind of thoughts made me not act freely and I thought I was the only one who felt that way.

My eyes were opened when I talked to others who were seemingly the life of the party. They admitted that they felt the same way and were often tempted to be too self conscious, but they trained themselves to simply take action and do what came naturally instead of keep thinking like I did.

And that's really the secret here: Acting even when you feel alone. When those thoughts haunt you, do you act and switch your mind away from it? Or do you keep seeing more and more reasons why you are alone?

What you do when you feel alone really goes a long way to shape your experience.

There was a time I used to think that I was the only one who had few friends and that meant that I was less popular. I'm actually very careful in selecting my friends and my friends were few and I was feeling bad about that...

Till I found out that the people I thought were popular with many close friends also had few very close friend but many acquaintances. That is.. They knew many people or have been with many people, and it's just the familiarity and exchanging pleasantries that linked them.

I used to think I was the only one who was yet to get a job, start an awesome business and start having fun. Turned out that many other people were in my shoes still working on getting a job or starting a small business.

There was a time I was so confused about finding my purpose. I didn't know exactly what I was in this world to do and I felt bad that I've not yet narrowed my life down. It was liberating to find out that many other people were in my shoes. And I could still live out all my ambitions.

Some people who are in relationships or married often times fall for this trap too. They see all the good things happening in other marriages or relationships outside and only see the wrong thing in theirs. Then they feel all alone in that condition.

Are you seeing the problem? Some of the marriages or relationships they envy might have faced or are facing worse challenges than theirs, but the partners involved acted and somehow twisted the hands of fate to their favor. And now you envy them and you think their relationship was all perfect.

What the seemingly perfect partners did was simple: Instead of feeling all alone about their own predicaments and getting depressed, they understood that they were not alone in their situation and focused on working their way out of the love challenge.

The only way is working your way out of your feelings of being alone. Then you'll see how things transform.

Some people you see also pretend. They have mastered the art of pretense. They also feel all alone sometimes, but they can cover that feeling with a lot of things. Some resort to drugs, excessive drinking and lasciviousness. All because they are trying to avoid that feeling.

But all those substitutes don't help because you're just avoiding the feeling. The best thing is to work your way out of it through the things you do.

All you need is to simply observe or discuss with people, you will see that you are never alone in whatever you face and many others are encountering the same thoughts or experiences.

My life changed when I realized how easy things I thought were difficult really were. And when I saw that challenges I faced weren't really so different from the  challenges of those I envied.

The difference between me and them was in my attitude. While I had let my challenges make me look down on myself, they ignored their challenges, still saw themselves in a positive light and took conscious action to overcome those challenges.

When I understood this, I copied their pattern and consciously took any action to overcome the personal challenges I had. Though difficult for me initially, but as I kept on doing it, my life changed.

I attracted people to myself and when they left me, I didn't feel bad, I moved on to other people. I wasn't stuck thinking about the meaning of stuff like why they had to leave and why stuff happened to me. There is no meaning to anything except the one you give that thing. So I committed to acting right.

When I disagreed with mom, rather than feel like I was all alone or sad, I tried to see things from her perspective and made her understand my own feelings about stuff. No matter how strongly I disagreed, I walked up to her and tried to understand her. Our relationship got better and waxed stronger.

When I went to parties and felt awkward, I take the initiative and start a conversation with someone or even get up and dance naturally to the beating of the music. I never cared in the world what anyone thought about my dance steps.

Instead of feeling like I only had few friends. I made conscious efforts to build my network of friends and tried to keep in touch with most of them occasionally. My network expanded for good.

Bottom line is that I tackled all my feelings of aloneness with conscious activity. I didn't let my feelings make me inactive. I acted despite how my mind wanted to make me feel. That was when the transformation began in my life. And that is where yours will begin too if you ever feel alone.

Most of our problems arise from either over thinking or a lack of the most basic form of it. Because if you had given a little thought to other people, you would've seen that they too faced the same challenges, but the difference between those who appeared to be having it smooth and yourself was all in the attitude!

 You could sit around all day feeling bad about your predicament or you can do something about it right away. The magic happens in doing. When you do, you make a difference. Stop being stuck with feeling and thinking too much. Learn to Act your way out!

There are many people who have faced, are facing and will still face whatever thing you think you are facing all alone. Don't fall for the trap of thinking that you are the only one facing anything. It leads to acute depression and suicidal thoughts.

If some of them were able to make it out successfully, why can't you?

Thinking sure helps, But over thinking without any action is a curse.

You are definitely not alone.. If you're religious, you should know that God sees everything and is with you at all times. Just play your part by doing and watch the miracles happen.

Keep winning!

Monday, April 2, 2018

Do Not Be Realistic

Do Not Be Realistic

I think this article is going to be one of my realest. It has been pricking my mind to bring the words to life on this blog and despite my attempts to ignore the call, I find my mind being repeatedly hit by it.

The title of the article is quite controversial. I mean who tells you to not be realistic in a world filled with systems which have been built on logic and sound reasoning?

I will now try to make you see reasons why I have said "Do not be realistic."

In today's world, there is a strong mental war going on between what you believe and what you see happening presently around you. The game is that your environment and experiences tend to force certain beliefs on you.

You tend to easily accept these beliefs because that's what you see and think is happening around you. Therefore, you believe that nothing else is possible and you allow that belief or perspective to rule you.

It is important to mention here that whatever you believe and hold as true is incredibly powerful. It has a way of constantly shaping the way you see things, the things you see and your actions.

You wonder why the major belief systems are still existing? Answer: Strong beliefs.

Now, since you know your beliefs carry tremendous power, it's important you carefully guard your thoughts and the things you accept as true.

Many people will come to you and tell you to be realistic, so that you can accept their point of view.

They might say "Be realistic for once, everyone who has tried it has failed. Why do you think you can?"

They may say "Be realistic, you can't get that job. Do you know the kind of people who you'll be up against?"

They could've even say, "Let's be realistic, there are no good men or women out there anymore. They are all liars and cheats."

Or something like "Be realistic, change in our country is impossible."

People try to say you should be realistic when they want you to accept a particular point of view or belief.

You should be very careful when anyone tells you to be realistic because accepting whatever they want to tell you at that point has the potential to change your entire life.

If your beliefs can greatly influence your experiences and your actions. It's obvious that it can change your entire life.

Often times, it is usually the unrealistic people that bring about unforeseen change, innovations and transformation.

Other people told them to be realistic, but they went on with their unrealistic ideas and made a breakthrough for the rest of the world.

There was a time flying was unrealistic. Men who contemplated flying were mocked and seen as fools and time wasters. Until, two unrealistic brothers known as the Wright Brothers proved the realistic people wrong.

Space flights looked impossible too. It was unrealistic to contemplate leaving this earth to outer space until the the first artificial satellite Sputnik, was eventually launched in 1957 and the first manned spaceflight followed four years later. This was a result of work and efforts from very unrealistic researchers and scientists who saw the possibility.

There was a time the idea of a telephone was unrealistic to many. Some people couldn't see the possibility of speaking to someone miles away from you and hearing the person's voice in real time. Today it's now reality. Thanks to an unrealistic man called Alexander Graham Bell who didn't listen to the realistic people of his time but went ahead to create.

Roger Bannister was the first man on the planet to run a four minute mile. It was unheard of as at that time. Completely unrealistic. He broke the record in 3 minutes 59 seconds. Two months later, his record was broken. Today the current record stands at 3 minutes 43 seconds. It has become realistic to run a mile in less than 4 minutes thanks to unrealistic Bannister.

Notice something: The realistic things of today looked unrealistic sometime ago. Therefore, the realistic things of the future will seem unrealistic now to many. Only those few unrealistic people can presently see the realistic in the seemingly unrealistic. And once unrealistic people break the record, it becomes realistic and it encourages others to break the record.

Why I say don't be realistic is so that you can believe in the possibility!

It is the possibility that carries our power and capability to create something entirely new just as we were created to do.

It doesn't really matter what is already existing. It doesn't really matter what you're currently experiencing in your surrounding. It doesn't matter what stares you in the face everyday.

You don't have to limit your thinking to the present. The present events shouldn't dictate how things should be for you.

You can still dream. You can still choose to see good. You can still think out of the box and see something different which other people aren't seeing.

 It is when you think this way that you'll see ways to create that unique possibility in your heart. Because the truth is that the possibilities are endless in this world. We live in a world where anything is possible as long as we can dream it.

There's no one permanent reality because everything is constantly changing. And that change is brought about by nature and those people who dare to go after their dreams.

The place you may currently find yourself is not all there is to life. The kind of people around you or the things they do, doesn't explain anything about everyone around the world. So don't let those tiny experiences around you give you realities to believe in. You'll be very wrong when you easily believe what your experiences try to make you believe.

You need to train yourself to see all possibilities.

Even if the people around you have tried and failed, it doesn't mean that you'll try and fail. Don't accept the reality that you'll end up like others.

Always think of your case as a difference case from the rest of them.

Maybe you're dating or married and they come to you and say that all women are the same or all guys are the same, you don't have to accept their reality. Your own reality could be different.. And your options are vast. So why limit your mindset by trying to be realistic?

Maybe you're really passionate about sparking up positive change in your environment, maybe there's something you hate about the way your leaders are running your society. They will tell you that you should be realistic and nothing can be done to change anything you're concerned about.

I'm telling you not to be realistic and not listen to those average minds. If you genuinely care about sparking up positive change, you can do it. It could be you! All it takes is just one highly spirited person willing to heed to the call of his or her soul and relentlessly pursue that vision of change.

Maybe they told you to be realistic and believe that there are no jobs out there for you. They try to make you buy the reality that it's impossible for you to get your dream job because millions of other people like you are competing for very few slots. They say you should be realistic and give up because if you're not highly connected to the company's management, you're going nowhere.

I'm telling to screw all of those opinions they have and believe in yourself. Believe that your case is different and keep trying. If you can keep your mindset on track and take advantage of your opportunities, you will find jobs in places where people have claimed there are no jobs. You might even be a job creator.

The positive belief you have about your case will somehow attract your desired opportunity for you in a way you cannot explain. The hard part is sticking with your dream: sticking with the possibility that your case is different.

Many people call it faith, some call it hope, others call it the law of attraction. You can call it anything. But there is power in holding onto strong positive views about your life and your society. It's not easy to hold onto it in a world were everything seems to be going south contrary to what you believe.

It's not easy to hold onto this possibility or vision when every single day your mind is bombarded with information from people, the media and the news with things contrary to that possibility.

It will be easier for you to be realistic and accept what they're telling you. Anybody can do it. Anybody can see it. I mean it's there. It's a no brainer! But it takes great men and women who are destined to excel beyond their wildest dreams to see something different from what physical eyes could see.

You think it's easy to believe that there's a good man or woman out there for you when every single day you hear tales of cheaters?

You think it's easy to see the possibility of a country where people can live in peace and harmony with one another when everyday you hear about wars, shootings and deaths?

You think it's easy to see yourself succeeding in your endeavors when everyone around you had tried it have failed?

You think it's easy to see the good in anything when everyone else claiming to be realistic sees only the evil in it?

My dear, it's not easy! That's why the present reality will test you. It will test you to the limit to push you into the trap of being realistic.

It's when you pass this test by holding strongly onto your beliefs and acting upon them that you begin to experience miracles.

You begin to experience things that realistic people won't ever get to experience simply because you didn't buy into their beliefs.

So, dare to be unrealistic. Go against the grain just as your innermost thoughts lead you. Don't be a Yes man or woman to everything. Learn to throw out beliefs that limit your thinking out of the window of your mind.

It's very hard to be unrealistic in a world where almost everybody wants you to be realistic and accept their own reality.

You should be wiser than that. You are way different from everybody else and you cannot be like them. Trying to be like everyone will drown your individuality and what you are designed to create in this world. All it takes to be like everyone else is to always be realistic.

The few men and women who rise above the average masses are those who dare to be unrealistic, crazy and sometimes even stupid with their approach.

The realistic ones keep repeating and accepting what everyone else does and that's why they experience the same things and make same mistakes.

You now know better.. Use your mind to your advantage.

Will you dare to be unrealistic and follow your heart to pursue and create your dreams into reality or would you take the easy way and be realistic like everyone else? Your choice!

Until next time,

Your man,

Nigel.



Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Develop A Culture Of Excellence

develop a culture of excellence

Many people are comfortable with being just okay or average. They don't want to go the extra mile. They just want to do things at the most basic acceptable level and be free to go back to their relaxation.

Many want to be just good enough and not stand out. Just make some observation around you. You will see that most people are just okay with the barest minimum.

However, reality continues to show us that it is only those who excel in their fields that are celebrated. The world celebrates and rewards only those who are exceptional in whatever they do. This is why it is important we develop a culture of excellence.

When I mention the names Pele, Messi or Christiano Ronaldo, it doesn't take you long to know that those guys are exceptional in the game of football. They've become so good at football that their names have become associated with exceptional football.

When I mention Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin or Donald Trump, you already know that they are exceptional leaders who have distinguished themselves through their style of leadership.

When you hear Michael Jordan, you already start thinking of basketball and how skillful the guy has been. When you hear Usain Bolt, you think of speed.

When you hear Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, you're already thinking of men who were exceptional in fighting for the things they believed in and injustices prevalent during their time.

The name Walt Disney trends till today in the world of cartoons because his creative cartoons were and are still legendary.

It's not just about the men.. there are excellent women too.

Serena Williams has been exceptional in the game of Tennis.

Michelle Obama, Angela Merkel and Ellen Johnson Sirleaf(the world's first elected female black president) were excellent in politics.

Oprah Winfrey(one of the most influential people in the media industry and one of the few female billionaires in the world), Beyonce, Taylor Swift were all excellent in Media and entertainment.

Maya Angelou was a legendary poet and award-winning author.


There is something common to all these famous people who I have mentioned and that thing is excellence! Excellence is what will practically distinguish you from the rest and earn you respect, recognition and the wealth you may seek.

You see, there are many people in the world who are doing these same things that these recognized people are doing. Some are still starting, some have been doing it for a long time and some have given up.

But how many of them are being excellent in what they are doing?

Excellence cannot be hidden. Once you are excellent in anything, people will always talk about you and recommend you to higher things without you knowing. They will come to you and even invite people to come as well without you paying for any advert.

The best advert is being excellent in whatever you do.

Developing a culture of this excellence is not easy. In a world of over 7 billion people, an alarmingly high percentage of them don't care about being excellent. They just want to survive and do the same thing others are doing.

Why do you think they won't get the same results those people get? When you do only what every other person around you does, how can you be different from them? You can't! You'll just be like them.

But when you do more than the rest and go through the risks and the pains many of them aren't willing to go through, you'll definitely get what they don't have. That's how it works. Your culture of excellence will always pay off.

If you'll take the time to go over the biography of some of these famous and successful people, you will find the culture of excellence embedded in their routines.

They worked harder, they tried harder, they trained harder, they acted more, they read more, they contested more, they practiced more, they disciplined themselves more and used their spare time to develop their abilities. They were more thoughtful and courageous. All for the sake of sharpening their excellence.

Their excellence finally singles them out from 7 billion people who may be trying the same things. If you want to sound religious, you can say it's God's blessings or grace that singles them out, I will also agree with you.

However, I believe that blessings and grace favor those who are excellent in what they do and not those who are lazy and reluctant to try.

So, to conclude this post, I want to enjoin you all to strive to maintain excellence in anything you do. Be the exceptional guy or girl. If everyone does it in a particular way, find a way to do yours in a better and improved way.

The desire to improve always is a mark of excellence.

Every one can stand up to give a speech. But the difference between a speech that genuinely connects with the audience or brings out emotions from them and a speech that people are bored to listen to is excellence in the delivery of that speech.

We all love excellence, but few of us are willing to go through what is needed to be excellent because we don't like stress. At the end of the day, we are no different from the average person.

Don't you love watching those inspiring personalities speak to you?

Don't you love watching Messi play or Beyonce sing?

Why do you love your best musicians, actors or celebrities? The answer is their excellence.

So, in truth we all love excellence in any form. However, many of you don't want to develop the culture of that excellence because it looks hard.

The truth is that developing excellence is not as hard as you think. If other humans who you admire could cultivate it, why can't you?
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The problem is that we think too much about what we have to do, we worry about the hard work involved and we decide to just not go through it and just be average.

But we don't want to be average. It is our minds that trick us into thinking we want to be average so that we can avoid the "hard work" we have envisioned. But the reality is that deep down you also badly want to be excellent.

Therefore, shake off that mindset that makes you think being excellent is hard. It is not. What you need is only a willingness to try one thing at a time and you will see how things will go.

Before you know it, you become used to those steps and it becomes part of you. Then your excellence becomes as easy as pie because you are now used to it.

Develop a culture of excellence and keep winning!




Saturday, March 10, 2018

The Definition Of A True Man

the definition of a true man

In today's world, it seems as though the definition of a man is getting more debased day by day. Value systems seem to have changed and being a man appears to now be centered on ephemeral, distasteful and immoral behaviour. Here on this blog, you'll get the truth on the definition of a true man.

Yesterday, I got into an argument with a male colleague at work. Ordinarily, I try my best to avoid any form of arguments except when absolutely necessary. This was one of those exceptional days.

We were all having a wonderful discussion about things we need to know in making the right choice as regards a life partner for marriage and everyone of us was sharing their candid opinions and learning from those shared by others.

Then, the young man who was standing aside joined in and started saying that we were all talking nonsense. He continued by saying that only his opinion was valid because he had slept with so many different women to the extent he had lost count.

I didn't know whether he was saying this to feel good about himself because obviously, he wasn't really  a self confident man. I also thought maybe he was drunk, but he maintained that the opinion of other participants in the conversation didn't count because in his mind; he had slept with many women.

At first, I was grossly disappointed that a man like him who I had some level of respect for was boasting about sleeping around with different women even prostitutes. However, I kept quiet and decided to ignore. Hoping he would also keep quiet.

But the dude went on from boasting about his lascivious lifestyle to boasting about the number of drinks he could consume and the packets of cigarettes he could smoke at a sitting. And he further implied that as we were not smoking and drinking just like he did, we were not true men.

That struck the chord and I had to engage him on words toe to toe. I first told him that he was really annoying with his behavior and irritating attitude by implying that our opinions were wrong because we weren't living the same way as he did.

And I schooled him on the definition of a man:

A real man is not defined by the number of women he may have had sex with or by the number of drinks or cigarettes he can consume in a day.

A true man is not really defined by the way he looks.

Neither is he defined by the material possessions he may have amassed.

All those things barely scratch the surface.

A true man is defined by his attitude, his fearlessness in the pursuit of his goals, his courage in the face of impending danger and his resolve to stand by his words.

A real man has a great sense of responsibility and contributes as much as he can to the progress of his society. He is not lazy, he does not boast(because he knows himself) and he doesn't waste his time with unnecessary things.

He is focused and determined. A real man doesn't waste his time trying to get various women to lie with him. When he loves, he loves for real and he cherishes, provides for and protects his woman.

Chasing after different women is what makes most men lose their focus in life.

And these things are self evident. The men who have been relegated to the doldrums are those who are notorious for excessive womanizing and wayward lifestyles. The men who are high on the ranks are known to have been very focused and they're committed in their relationships and ambitions.

By their fruits, you shall know them.

A true man is hard working, focused and dedicated. Not a lazy man who thinks about girls all day.

A real man takes pride in his achievements related to making an impact in the society and distinguishing himself through diligence in his works.

A real man takes pride in that particular women who he has given his love to. He focuses his attention on her and her alone and constantly makes her feel like a woman.

A true man is a man who knows when to be angry and when to be calm. He knows when to apply force and when to be diplomatic. He knows himself, his abilities and where he wants to be.

He is a man who isn't afraid to stand for what he believes in and goes alone if need be.

He is a man respected by his peers and his society at large.

The Modern man defines a real man thus:

" A real man is a man with genuine self-confidence and true masculinity. He’s a man who knows his own mind and knows what he’s about in life, and he’s not afraid to stand up for what he believes in.

When a man has these qualities, he has a natural self-assuredness that makes him stand out head and shoulders above other men, and women feel an instinctive sexual attraction towards him because he has what it takes to protect her and provide for her, allowing her to relax into being a woman in the relationship.

A real man has the strength of character to be his own man in the world and to always be true to himself. If he takes part in any passing trends in society (e.g. fashion trends, social trends, etc) he does so because he is interested in it, not because he’s trying to hopefully impress people and get them to like him.

He focuses on being the best version of himself it’s possible to be by developing the characteristics that help him to go on improving and becoming a better man at each new stage in his life...  "

I'll love to add that a true man is not always a gentle man. He is gentle when he needs to be and also tough and firm when the situation calls for it.

A true man is simply total and very focused on making reasonable impact.

Basing the definition of a man on very little, ephemeral, crude or vulgar things isn't what any highly motivated and successful man should be doing.

A man is defined by his attitude and his diligent achievement in his society and his work.

Be a true man and keep winning!

Monday, March 5, 2018

The Hoarders Mentality

hoarders mentality
A lot of people have this tendency of hoarding things and always keeping unnecessary stuff to themselves. They find it difficult to let things they don't need anymore go. Rather than let someone else have it, they prefer to hoard it. This is what I call the hoarders mentality.

A hoarder is more like a miserly person. He or she believes that it will never be enough for them and will continue to save up unnecessary things. But this is a big trap and demonstrates a poor mindset.

Winners know and believe that they will never run dry. This doesn't mean that they waste their resources, rather they aren't afraid to let go of the things they no longer need. And indeed, they never run dry. Beliefs are incredibly powerful.

Many of the things some of us still keep with ourselves aren't needed anymore by us, yet we just leave them with us for no good reason. You go to some homes, you find a large box filled with old clothes that are no longer in use. Why not share?

You bought a new gadget and won't be needing the old one, why not give it away to someone else that may need it rather than pack it up in the basement?

Winners usually live like Spartans. They only use or keep exactly what they need. Whatever they don't need has no business with them. As a matter of fact, allowing yourself get attached to things you should have given away keeps you lagging behind.

Winners are bold people who keep looking forward to new and better things deserving of their attention and time. As a human being who is always moving and changing positively, it's important you don't let attachment to physical things hold you back.

By giving away everything you don't need, you make room for exactly what you need! When you keep hoarding things, you keep yourself from progressing. Our mindsets should be reflected in our surrounding.

A positive mindset aspiring for new experiences, should be matched with surroundings that are continually renewed. These surroundings give good feedback to your subconscious mind and strengthens your mindset to stay anew.

But a surrounding that stays the same always, will subconsciously keep you thinking the same way. How do you renew your surroundings? By taking away the things you don't need and make few changes whenever you can.

You see, when you're always making your surroundings new by taking away what you don't need, you subconsciously train your mind to keep improving every single day without even knowing it.

Your surroundings must reflect your mindset.

So learn to take stuff you don't need away. It distracts you. Share those things to neighbors, friends or less privileged people who may need them. You will strengthen your relationship with these people by doing so and more especially your mindset for success. A win-win situation!

We shouldn't be hoarding things unnecessarily.

Hoarding things doesn't just pertain to properties, you shouldn't hoard paying people nice compliments or using your words to make them feel better. You shouldn't hoard your care and affection.

Yeah, we know that there are people who won't appreciate it when you care, but still care for people anyway. You're doing it for yourself. You never know how far your words can go to change someone's mind.

Many have been saved from committing suicide and other dangerous acts because of a nice word somebody said to them.

So when you're moved to say something nice or comforting to someone, just say it. It doesn't take anything away from you. Paying that compliment or saying something nice doesn't make you lesser than that person. You just make your world a lil much better as you've made that person's world.

If we can learn to love, share and give freely without holding back, we will make room for these things to keep manifesting in our lives. We will see that our minds won't be cluttered by things of the past because we've not cluttered our world with hoarded things.

We will find it easier to accomplish our goals and we build strong networks with people around us. I'll end with this short update by my friend Shola:

"The Hoarders

An aunt of mine died recently. She was a widow. She also had no child. She died in her late 50s. She has been buried.

When the family went to clean up her property, they were amazed. She was a hoarder. The type you watch on American and British reality shows.

 She had stuff filling her apartments. Piles of new materials. Piles of expired food products. Piles of gifts and souvenirs dating 10 years.

6 television sets. 5 new freezers. 4 new generating sets. New gas cookers. Kerosine stoves of the 80s. All new. Expired vegetable oil.

Decaying bags of rice. And so forth. There was no sitting space in a 4 bedroom apartment. Littered with junk.

Plenty of stuff was thrown away. Many shared by family members who had no clue on how she lived. I am certain she has a decent amount in the bank.

She was prudent. Almost much too prudent.

 Bordering on...

Many of us are like her. We can’t give away stuff that we do not need. We pile “junk” that might be useful to another.

We have clothes in wardrobes all over. We hoard everything we own. Lace of '92, gele of '88.
Many even hoard love and praise.

They hoard affection. No one is deserving of love. No one is deserving of help. When they lose, one they love, they cry, because they hoarded words of affection and more.

Life is meant to be lived. That we will die is certain. The uncertainty is when and how. The wise one lives everyday as the last.

This is not to be read as encouraging wastrels. Or failing to save for tomorrow. Empty your barns regularly to the needy so you also can have new stock.

At the end, the only thing you take with you, is your soul. Nourish that."

Inspiring wasn't it? His update inspired this blog post. Let's learn to share, give and love. It takes nothing from us and gives us everything.

Throw away your hoarders mentality this second and keep winning!

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

The World Belongs To The Futuristic In Thought

Futuristic Thought world game

The world belongs to those who are futuristic in their thought processes which consequently leads them to taking the best decisions or actions in the present. It's important to put the future into perspective whenever we want to make any choices.

It's quite impossible to know the future for sure but therein lies the whole excitement in preparing for it's probable outcomes. Life wouldn't have much meaning to it if we knew exactly how the future would play out, would it? That's why it's usually a waste of time to worry about the future. However, you must think about it's possibilities and take needed action.

You could buy a house or property today and the next few years it's value may have doubled or tripled.   You could start a business in an area that looks undeveloped and before you know it, development gradually changes that area.

You could see a poor man today who is hardworking and diligent in his efforts, in a few years he might be a multi millionaire.

You could have the opportunity to invest in a small scale business today with a few thousands, after some time, your investment may be running into billions.

I could give many more instances, but the point is just that successful people always try to see the future possibilities before they take action. Those who usually get it wrong are those who only focus on the present.

When you focus only on the present, you will often miss future possibilities because nothing is constant.

You might pass up on investing in a small business with good potential and rather invest in one that looks already established, but the small business could grow and even expand more than the one you thought was better.

You might pass up on acquiring property at a location that looks undeveloped, because you failed to see the future possibilities in the development of that area.

You might decide to not start up that business with your colleague but rather take up a "safer" job, but your colleague may decide to stick with the idea and tomorrow he's running a multi billion dollar firm.

For the ladies, a young hardworking man might really love you and he's really interested in marrying you, you might not see his value because he presently doesn't have much, you focus on the present situation and then you miss.

There are many more instances, but I won't bore you with them. I'm just trying to let you know that you should not be carried away by the present.

Look around your environment, the entrepreneurs, the big business owners, the politicians, the military, those who control your economy, they are all futuristic in thought. They leave nothing to the hands of fate and they continue to be successful in their endeavors.

It's good to think positively about your life and your situations, but you have to be futuristic too and try to see, plan and prevent possible threats. Yeah, God is protecting you, but you should be smart in your living.

Don't always be carried away by the present value of things. A bit of thinking about future values will help you see the truth clearly and make best choices. In chess, even a pawn has the capacity to become a queen. Change is the only constant thing in the universe.

Put the future into consideration but don't get drowned in worrying about it.

Keep winning!



Sunday, February 4, 2018

Cut The Fake Happiness Crap

cut fake happiness crap

With various happiness ideologies floating around the internet these days, an increasingly high number of people are beginning to accept crap as a norm in their lives.

They deceive themselves with a fake sense of happiness that they believe comes from knowing themselves and accepting all outcomes without resistance. It's high time we cut the crap.

I don't know why it appears that more and more people are buying into the concept of accepting whatever comes or just being happy with the unimaginable way they currently live.

It seems they are finding more reasons to remain in their comfort zones without having the tenacity to push through whatever obstacles or odds that may come to them during their pursuit of higher aims.

Think about it: Let's say you've been applying to get a job at a big firm. You keep trying and yet your application is usually rejected. Then someone comes to tell you that not being accepted into the job could be a good thing; it could mean you start up that business or you should consider working with another firm which you probably don't want to ever work for.

Then somehow you start buying into the idea. You stop making effort to pass through the necessary pain you need to pass through to get your desired job and you settle for a lesser job that seems more secure.

Or you go ahead to attempt starting a business you have no passion for which is likely to fail. And then you deceive yourself that you're happy not getting exactly what you wanted.

Or let's say you've been dating and you know exactly the kind of person you wish to have as a partner. And then you try to date people to find a compatible person, but so far you've not made much progress.

Then, someone comes to sell you a fake happiness crap. He or she tells you that you cannot find that person you really desire that you have to accept whoever comes and try to change them. Then you listen and you accept something below the standard you have set.

Maybe you're struggling and you're working hard trying to achieve success, then someone comes to tell you that you should have no desire and that you should be content with existence in order to be happy. Then you stop putting sufficient efforts to get to where you want your business to be and start being "content".

Or you've had dreams to make impact in your country or immediate community. It burns inside of you to see your society progress for good. However, people keep bombarding you with messages of how irredeemable your government is or how useless and corrupt your country is and how futile it is to even try to change it. And then you drop this strong drive and start living averagely without caring about your vision.

You may have failed many times at different things, instead of telling yourself the truth that indeed you've failed woefully and you really need to work very hard, You decide to buy into some crap that happiness doesn't come from trying to achieve things, it comes from within, then you settle into mediocrity and stop trying.

I believe you're already getting my point? I'm trying to say that a lot of people want life to be way too easy for them. They want to be happy in any way possible, but instead of working their way into that happiness by going for exactly those things they desire in their lives, they rather buy into ideologies that make them feel better and relaxed when they don't work.

True happiness comes from getting exactly what we want and seeing our dreams come to fruition. It's a trick to throw away those dreams into the trash can because you feel you've learnt something about where happiness comes from and who you are. You're only accepting those soothing posts because they make you feel better even though you know the truth that you've not been able to achieve exactly what you wanted.

This dangerous lukewarm attitude caused by that ideology is one of the reasons why most of our problems in the world today still linger. Many are tactfully dodging their responsibilities and the work they must do to be happy, instead they pretend that they're happy buying into all those philosophies about feeling good always. How can you feel good always?

Most of us don't care about what our neighbors are going through. We're so relaxed into our own happiness that we fail to see the challenges and threats we collectively face.

Whenever you're deceiving yourself with being happy all the time, you cannot see that children somewhere are suffering or that there are people that urgently need your help. You won't see that you have some serious work to do in this world to make it better for yourself and for others. You'll believe all is well.

But is everything really well? You read on the news every day about chaos here and there. There are endangered groups of people around the world, there are displaced persons, there is crime, there are genocides. There are many threats. But how on earth  can you ever see it when you keep pretending that you're always happy even without achieving your dreams?

Look, we're all here on earth for a reason. We all have a big role to play in helping mankind progress. It's not an easy deal to play that role. Because in playing that role, we will find ultimate happiness and help others find theirs.

Many people are looking up to you, most of which you're not even aware of. Some people are inspired by you,  your attitude and your zeal to achieve the best for yourself.

Why settle for less because of some crappy advice sold to you by one of these happiness peddlers? Why brake down on your drive and feign that you're happy and content?

Dude, look deep down into your heart, you will see the truth that the happiness you pretend to have out of contentment is false. You will see that those dreams you had are still burning within you and urging you to pass through the obstacles and pain you've been avoiding.

Listen to it and take up your weapons once again. When you man up and refuse to accept shit in the name of happiness, you'll be able to fearlessly face the challenges in your way and you'll achieve whatever you've dreamt of.

Then you will know happiness. You will also unknowingly inspire millions to follow your steps and still push for exactly what they want instead of buying into crappy advice.

We were born to work and contribute our quota to the advancement of the human race, let us not neglect or shy away from this collective responsibility because we prefer to take solace in crappy happiness. We would only be deceiving ourselves and things will get worse.

Be willing to go through the experience and continue passing through pain if needed to achieve exactly those things you've always wished for. Never throw those ideas away and pretend to be happy because you've not been able to achieve them. Man up to your pain and keep winning! 

Thursday, February 1, 2018

The Craze For Likes


Craze For Likes

Why the Craze For Likes?
These likes are just there to tell you whether people like what you posted or not. It doesn't go beyond that.

Whether you get 10 likes or 1000 likes on your picture. Likes are just likes. You don't have to judge yourself by number of likes.

You don't have to to almost go naked on social media just to get "likes" when it's not your thing. For Christ's sake, what are likes?

You don't have to pretend to support a particular group or ideology, just to get likes.

Are you gonna die without it? Does it give you money? Weren't you surviving before social media took over?

So why the heck are you crazed about getting likes?

Social Media platform is for networking and "genuinely" expressing ourselves and who we really are.

Always tailoring your posts to suit the public likes or sound politically correct is just plain stupid because we know that public approval does NOT ALWAYS mean that something is true.

Be true to yourself and don't lose your head to get likes on social media.

1 like or 1 billion likes, doesn't matter much. There's a reason Facebook allows you to like your own posts.
If no one likes it... Well, Yes. You figured it out. 😂

Keep winning!
#boldwinner

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

They Owe You Nothing

They owe you nothing

The moment you begin to get the point that other people owe you nothing and therefore develop the mindset of working towards whatever you want to have in this life, the better for you.

It's so common these days to hear things like: "My uncle has a lot of cash and yet he's not willing to help me," "My sister is a manager at a big company and she hasn't even given a job role," or even something like "I'm related to him, but yet he hasn't done anything for me even though he's doing very well."

Even in relationships, people behave as if their partners owe them happiness always by saying things like: "I'm his lover and since he won 2 million naira, I hope to get a million," "He or She doesn't do everything to make me happy," or "He doesn't do as much as this other person or that person." And that's how relationships begin to collapse because someone starts comparing the partner with someone else because of this inordinate sense of entitlement.

The gospel truth is that no one really owes you anything and you should really be grateful to anyone who loves or cares about you enough to do helpful things for you. The fact that these people are close to us or that they love us so much doesn't mean that it's by force they do things for us. No matter how deeply connected, we must always respect another person's freedom of choice.

Indeed, when we ask for help from someone we love or someone we know to be successful and we don't get any, we will tend to be unhappy. However, that unhappiness shouldn't linger long enough if we really respect that person's freedom of choice. It shouldn't lead us to hating that person or bad mouthing them because they couldn't help us.

The habit should be to help ourselves. No one else but our very own selves can truly help us. Our sincerest efforts to get things for ourselves and make our lives better can achieve much more for us than any external help from others.

This is not to say that people cannot help us. People can help us and even transform our lives for good. But the point is that rather than just hope on help from other people or totally putting our desires in their hands, we should develop that attitude of helping ourselves. So that if help comes along the way, then it becomes a bonus. But if it doesn't, we won't be so bitter about it because we're already working our way towards those needs.

If you want money, you go out there and get it by doing exactly what you have to do. You don't really have to wait on a particular person to give you money and then when he or she doesn't, you curse them because you felt entitled to the person's money. How ridiculous!

If you need a job, you hustle your way into it. That you have someone you know who is in top level management at a firm doesn't mean that they must give you a job. They reserve the freedom and the right to give or not give you that job because you don't know what they may be facing in the firm or what it took for them to get to that level. Why not strive to get a job yourself?

If you feel that your partner isn't making you as happy as you desire, why not find a way to make yourself happy and then involve him or her? Does falling in love with someone mean that we've lost the capacity to even make ourselves happy? Being unable to make yourself happy because you're in love means that there's a problem with you already. You can and should always be able to make yourself happy and sometimes try to make your partner happy too. Because sometimes he or she could be facing challenges and unable to make you happy sometimes. Would you rather die?

We can always get the things we want for ourselves without feeling that anybody owes us any of it. Whether it's money, a successful career or love.. Whatever it is, you can always do something about it in whatever little way you can. That little thing you can do to change your situation for yourself is extremely important, crucial and must not be neglected.

They owe you nothing.. YOU OWE YOURSELF EVERYTHING!

The earlier you realize this, the better for you. You will become more tolerant and forgiving. You will become a source of goodness to others rather than unnecessary hate. You will begin to blossom. You'll see and know that whether they choose to help you or not, it's doesn't matter.

You'll not be lazy and you won't waste your time backbiting those who won't help you. Your eyes will be open to the various opportunities around you which you can take advantage of to improve your life!

Understand this, help yourself as much as you can and just keep winning!

Friday, January 26, 2018

Herd Mentality

herd mentality sheep

Herd mentality is everywhere around us. It's so easy to observe that it often goes unnoticed, but it's a silent killer that we all must be wary of as bold winners. This post was written to remind you that you're not everyone else and you can always stand out from the herd when you are in disagreement.

When you log onto your Facebook and you see a post with  about 400 likes and then one post with just 2 likes posted around same time as the previous post, which post are you more likely to also like?

When you walk into a bar and all the people there seem to support a particular football team in a football game, which team are you most likely to support?

When you're walking on the street and then you see people gathering around a celebrity (an actor, a sport star or a musician), what are you most likely to do?

When you hear lots of people complaining about a particular government with good arguments, what are you likely to think about that government?

When everyone around you seems to be bleaching their skins just to look fairer and more beautiful than they already are, what are you likely to think or do?

When certain well known people you know tend to smoke and do drugs, what are you likely to think about smoking and drug addiction?

When people around you are flirting around, cheating on their partners at will and living recklessly, yet they seem to be doing well, what are you likely to do?

When most people at the office are saying lots of negative things about a particular staff member, what are you likely to do?

When other people tend to show off all their achievements to anyone who cares to pay attention, are you not moved to do the same?

When everyone is dressing in a way that you find inappropriate, however most people think that the dressing is cool or trendy, are you not likely to throw away your values and dress same way just to feel trendy?

When everyone else is having random sex with anyone and seem to be having fun while doing that? Won't you be moved to be reckless as well?

I've asked all these questions because I want you to honestly answer them and see how far this herd mentality has gone in changing the way we think.

It's easier to do something when you feel that many people are doing it or many find it cool than when few people are doing it.

It's really affecting a lot of intelligent and success oriented minds. Our experiences always tend to shape our beliefs and when we feel that something is acceptable to more people than less, we tend to easily welcome it into our own personal lives.

But it doesn't have to be so and if we really want to stand out, we must do away with that innate tendency to do something just because many others are doing it.

It's not always about what you think many others are doing. It's about you and what you really want for your life. You're not the same with everyone, so you mustn't setup your own standard with what they are doing.

Let people do what's best for them. It's none of your business. Know yourself and do what's best for you! You must not be a die hard smoker or drug addict to be successful. Drugs can ruin your entire life and your motivation to excel.

You mustn't sleep around with different people, just to feel cool about your manliness or womanliness. Challenge yourself with higher goals and aspirations and save yourself the various risks associated with promiscuity.

You must not like a post because 1000 people have liked it. You have to know why you're doing whatever you're doing. You like things because it agrees with your kind of person and your values, not because everyone likes it. Who cares?

You mustn't bleach your skin to feel good about yourself. Why can't you cherish your skin the way you are? Why can't you feel good in your own body? It's because you've agreed with the herd that a bleached skin is better than a natural one. You should scrap the nonsensical thought and love yourself the way you are.

You mustn't gossip about other people, support a cause or complain because everyone is doing so. What's the point? If your opinion is unique and you think it's  better, share it and enlighten the herd. You stand out.

We must learn to cherish our individual differences and our various choices. We must cherish our ability to make our own decisions guided by our own reasoning and consciousness.

I mean, we have a brain for a reason! We act like we're brainless when we do things because everyone is doing them.

To really make progress, we must learn to think for ourselves and question why we do certain things without even knowing why.

We must stop falling into this trap of herd mentality. It's the trap of mediocrity. Successful people have always been ahead in planning and thought because they don't always follow the crowd. They think for themselves and do what's best for them not for everyone.

Avoid herd mentality.. Think for yourself, stay success minded and keep winning!

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