Showing posts with label self development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self development. Show all posts

Friday, April 6, 2018

Be New Every Single Day

Be New Every Single Day

All progress comes from our being new..
A musician keeps singing new songs.. An engineer keeps innovating new designs. A scientist keeps carrying out new experiments.

You don't have to carry over the past with you everyday you wake up.

Be new every single day. Don't be the same old person you were yesterday..

It's only when you're new every day that you experience miracles.

The past is usually a burden to us and when we stop letting it drag us behind, we become free to experience the beautiful things in the new.

Many people are stuck with either the good or bad experiences of their past that they cannot even live.

When you keep thinking about the past, you keep reliving it in your mind and you miss the beautiful opportunities to experience greater things which the present always offers you.

Many other people who have accomplished certain notable things in their lives tend to feel that they are complete or that they have arrived.

Once you start thinking that you're complete you start becoming dead.

Aspire for more and more everyday. There should be no point where you should get to and stop trying. Each level you attain calls you to a higher level.

Don't be the same old person you were yesterday. You can always be better than your old self and every single moment of today offers you that chance.

You see, the reason why some of us are still trapped in the same circumstances is simply because we have not changed our attitudes or tried to improve ourselves.

The circumstances you experience outside of you is often a mirror of your own person life.

If you find yourself in the same circumstances over and over again, you need to change and become new.

You can move a new neighborhood, you can change the way you dress, you can become more careful about your words, you can try a new method of doing something you've always done or you can make new friends.

There are many ways we can renew ourselves and our attitudes. And all it takes is conscious action. Be conscious of what you really want to achieve.

Be conscious of the things you always do. And try to improve them.

We must not let the circumstances or achievements of the past keep us stuck. We must celebrate our successes, but it shouldn't make us to relax and stop seeking to improve.

Because life is all about improvement and renewal. Reptiles shed off their old skin to reveal their new bodies. Plants die and their seeds grow again to renew them.

We must never get stuck at any point in mind or in body.

Always be new everyday and keep winning!

Friday, March 30, 2018

6 Things You Can Give Which Cost Nothing

6 Things you can give which cost nothing

A few days back, I was having a little chit chat with some of my colleagues at work and one of them was all about how he wanted to make so much money so that he can give it to his loved ones to make them happy.

The way he kept laying emphasis on that made me suspect that he probably thought that giving those people money was the only way he could show that he cared about them.

Well, I had to commend his desire to make millions: it was a good thing, however, I kinda let him see other ways he could also show his care presently before he made those millions.

We live in a world where so many people are crazed about making money at all costs. Some of us think that money is everything. Money is definitely important and believe me, I also desire to have tons of it, but a life with lots of money without meaning, without purpose, without love would be quite boring.

Forgive me for digressing from the main topic. Here are the 6 other things you can give to people which cost you nothing just as I shared with my co-worker:

1. Time

Time is one of our most valuable assets. And that's why many people keep talking about their time being wasted and saying they don't have time. Time is really important and critical in today's world.

With a lot of time on our hands, we could accomplish more. But we humans have been designed to have a limited time to exist here on planet earth, so we want to make the best out of it.

This leads some of us to place all our time on our careers and businesses, forgetting to share and spend time with other people that matter to us.

How do you feel when you spend some time talking to a loving parent, close friend or someone who cares about you? Don't you feel great? Don't you feel happy being around them?

Of course I know your answers. We all love to spend time with people we cherish and if we spend less time with them, our fondness for them wanes without us even knowing it.

So taking some time off your "busy" schedule to meet your friends, loved ones, family or anybody else really means a lot to them. People who care about you are happy that you give them some of your time. You build and strengthen your relationships with your time.

None of us is really as busy as we claim to be sometimes, I believe that no matter how tight our schedules are, it's possible to squeeze out some time to spend with others.

2. Compliment Words

Your words matter. The things you say to other people matters a lot. Think of how this world would be if nobody talked to anybody. If there was no sound or language.

Would be quite weird right? Lol.. Well that's to show you how powerful words are. If saying to someone "You're an idiot." can transform that person from a meek lamb to a roaring lion, I bet you already got the point.

Learn to give complimentary words to people. See something good in them and say it to them. It doesn't cost a thing.

You see most of us find it very easy to see what's wrong with a person and we are quick to point it out and criticize them very quickly. Damn, some of us need an award or probably an Oscar for fault finding.

But that's not what we should always focus on. Lets learn to see something nice in other people and compliment them genuinely.

I'm yet to see anyone who doesn't love being complimented. Some people pretend like they didn't hear you, but then they go back home with your words in their hearts and they smile when they think about it.

So, you can make a difference in another person's life and show your affection by saying nice things to them when you notice it. You don't have to be a complainer who whines all the time about other people's faults.


3. Help

When was the last time you went out of your way to help someone without being asked? Can you really remember?

Say you're passing by and you notice your neighbor needs a hand to help start up his car, do you wait to be called? Do you offer to help? Or do you just mind your own business and move on?

Or let's say a loved one needs help with setting up stuff for a birthday celebration or naming ceremony, can you offer help to them?

There are many instances I could give here regarding helping people, however my point is just that you don't necessarily need money to help out.

You can offer help by volunteering to handle certain tasks or activities. You can teach them. You can help them in discharging their duties if you're less occupied. It doesn't have to be money.

I mean, who doesn't like to be helped out? It would be difficult for anyone to decline a helping hand when offered one.

People are going through a lot in life alone. Learning to offer a helping hand to them when you can do that is a lovely gift you can give to them.

4. Texting and Calls

Thank God for the internet. Today the world has become a global village and technology is rapidly turning everything upside down.

You can reach out to another person on the other side of the world just by the push of a button or a simple click.

Traditional call and texting rates have dropped ever since the use of the internet became mainstream.

These days you can chat with other people on social media for free with no data whatsoever.

Facebook Video calls, Whatsapp calls, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter.. Just name it. There's no reason not to keep in touch with those who you care about.

The thing is that many people are yet to take advantage of most of these opportunities created by the internet to get closer to people.

We are totally out for business and making money and can't even pick up our smart phones and just chat up people that matter to us.

A simple "hello" or "hi" could start off a wonderful conversation with a brother, sister, lover or a close friend.

You could get access to information that could even lead you to the money you've been pursuing all these years. Lol. But some of us can't even spare a few seconds to call or text people we cafe about even when calling and texting are almost free these days.

Why not place a call or text that person you care about and you've not spoken to all these while?

You think all they need is money from you? Haha

5. Support and Advice 

We all need good advice and support at some point in our lives. No man is an island. No matter how independent we may want to appear, we will still find out that at some point, we need to lean on someone so we can get back on our feet.

So how willing are you to support someone else or offer them good advice?

You don't need always money to support people. By giving out your fairly used phone to someone else who may need it, or by letting a friend who is yet to stand on his feet stay with you in your house if you can, you've really made a difference in their lives.

You can give away items you no longer need to other people. Why cover up space in your house with unwanted and unused items?

You can offer your advice to other people who you care about and help them better face whatever they are passing through.

6. Attention

How well do you pay attention to the people you claim to love?

Do you care to listen to them when they are saying something or are you just waiting for them to stop talking so you can say your mind?

Do you observe them? Do you notice the look in their eyes when they are down and need to say something to you or you don't even take notice of their disposition?

Do you notice their new hairstyle and the new haircuts? Do you notice their scars or injuries?

Do you notice their change in behavior and the unconscious body movements they make to hint that something is wrong?

Look here Mr, Mrs or Miss.. Paying great attention to people you care about is very important. People love to be noticed and heard even when they say nothing.

Some people don't know how to talk when they are really bothered about something. It will take your careful attention to know that such people aren't feeling okay.

Many words left unsaid are only understood by those who pay attention. You may not be close to them, but in their voices, responses or expressions during calls, you should be attentive enough to decipher those unsaid things.

Being able to pay attention has a lot to do with being emotionally intelligent. That would be topic for another good day.

So there you have it. You can give these 6 things and even more to people for free without spending nothing and it will go a long way in showing how much you care, love and appreciate them.

Keep these ideas in mind as you live your life and just keep winning!

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Do It Irrespective Of Acceptance

Irrespective Of Acceptance

Many people today care too much about being accepted by others at any cost. They give up on their values, their ambitions, their morality and even their own peace of mind just for acceptance.

It's a natural thing for a human being to desire to be accepted by other people. However, it must never be to the detriment of that individual. You cannot displease yourself or put yourself at a disadvantage because you want to be accepted.

A lot of people have given up on doing the positive things they are genuinely passionate about doing because they want to be accepted and they care about how others perceive what they are doing.

The secret that most winners know is that irrespective of whether people like what they do or not, as long as it is something good and they are passionate about doing it continuously; they care less about how people see it.

When you are convinced of exactly what you want to do and you know deep down in your conscience that it is a good thing, go ahead and do it irrespective of acceptance.

J.K.Rowlings, the writer of the famous Harry Potter novel said that twelve publishers rejected the manuscript! A year later she was given the green light by Barry Cunningham from Bloomsbury, who agreed to publish the book but insisted she must get a day job cause there was no money in children’s books.

What if she cared too much about the acceptance of the book that she quit her determination to get a publisher?

Legend has it that Colonel Sanders, the founder of KFC thought restaurant owners would love his fried chicken recipe and there would buy it and sales would increase. He drove around the country knocking on doors, sleeping in his car, wearing his white suit and asking people to buy it.

Do you know how many times people said no till he got one yes? 1009 times!

What if he cared too much about acceptance and decided to quit the business because he wasn't accepted?

Walt Disney was the man who gave life to Disney World and Mickey Mouse. History has it that during his first animation, his company went bankrupt.

He was fired by a news editor cause he lacked imagination. He was said to have been turned down 302 times before he got financing for creating Disney World.

If he cared about his rejections, would he have continued trying to get finance?

Michael Jordan, the renown basket baller once said:

"I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

If all these failures which may have led to his non acceptance by certain people deterred him from playing basketball, do you think would have ever heard about him?

Nelson Mandela was known for his indispensable role in fighting apartheid. It is said that at some point, the people closest to him tried to discourage him from fighting for what he believed in.

If he had listened to them and thrown his dream away because he wanted to be accepted by family and friends, who knows how far apartheid would have gone till date?

All these famous people I have mentioned cared more about their vision than acceptance.

They cared less about those who accepted or rejected them and focused on still making a genuine effort in line with what they are passionate about.

How many times they were rejected, how many people rejected them and who rejected them never mattered.

What mattered most was the dream..

Whether people like it now or not doesn't matter at all.

Whether they love it or hate it doesn't matter at all.

Whether they think it is a wise thing to do or not doesn't matter.

Whether they are willing to roll with you or not for the sake of that dream doesn't matter.

What really matters is that you do what you love to do and keep doing it irrespective of whatever they want to think.

Before you made up your mind to do anything, you must have weighed your options carefully. You must have thought it through. And even though you still keep an open mind, you still know exactly what you want. So just do it.

The people you should crave for their acceptance are people who share similar dreams and visions as you do.

They are the people who inspire you to keep performing your best, the people who are already making a difference in  the lives of others and the world at large.

The people you wish to be like and friends who see the potentials in your vision.

They are the ones you should even at least care about their acceptance. But even their own acceptance mustn't be at any cost as well.

Just keep doing what you're passionate about doing. Just keep working on the functions you're genuinely interested in. Just keep on keeping on.

Everybody doesn't have to accept you.. Because it's not everyone that will understand you no matter what you do.

You don't have to smoke or take hard drugs if it's not your thing just for acceptance sake.

You don't have to live in a promiscuous way just to be accepted.

You don't have to throw away your morals and your conscience because you want to be accepted.

If you must do away with the things that matter most to your heart and happiness all for the sake of acceptance, then the acceptance can as well go to hell.

The desire to be accepted isn't bad as long as it brings out the best in you and makes you perfect your abilities.

It's not bad as long as you don't sacrifice your heart and personal happiness.

But when you have to do away with the very essence of your humanity, throw whatever acceptance you seek into the thrash can.

Of what use is being accepted when you have to throw away everything that makes you happy and feel at ease? Is the ultimate aim of the acceptance you seek not to be happy?

So just keep doing what you're passionate about doing very well. Irrespective of how many people accept it or not. Just keep doing it.

It will definitely pay off in the end.

Be your true self, do it irrespective of acceptance and keep on winning.



Monday, March 5, 2018

The Hoarders Mentality

hoarders mentality
A lot of people have this tendency of hoarding things and always keeping unnecessary stuff to themselves. They find it difficult to let things they don't need anymore go. Rather than let someone else have it, they prefer to hoard it. This is what I call the hoarders mentality.

A hoarder is more like a miserly person. He or she believes that it will never be enough for them and will continue to save up unnecessary things. But this is a big trap and demonstrates a poor mindset.

Winners know and believe that they will never run dry. This doesn't mean that they waste their resources, rather they aren't afraid to let go of the things they no longer need. And indeed, they never run dry. Beliefs are incredibly powerful.

Many of the things some of us still keep with ourselves aren't needed anymore by us, yet we just leave them with us for no good reason. You go to some homes, you find a large box filled with old clothes that are no longer in use. Why not share?

You bought a new gadget and won't be needing the old one, why not give it away to someone else that may need it rather than pack it up in the basement?

Winners usually live like Spartans. They only use or keep exactly what they need. Whatever they don't need has no business with them. As a matter of fact, allowing yourself get attached to things you should have given away keeps you lagging behind.

Winners are bold people who keep looking forward to new and better things deserving of their attention and time. As a human being who is always moving and changing positively, it's important you don't let attachment to physical things hold you back.

By giving away everything you don't need, you make room for exactly what you need! When you keep hoarding things, you keep yourself from progressing. Our mindsets should be reflected in our surrounding.

A positive mindset aspiring for new experiences, should be matched with surroundings that are continually renewed. These surroundings give good feedback to your subconscious mind and strengthens your mindset to stay anew.

But a surrounding that stays the same always, will subconsciously keep you thinking the same way. How do you renew your surroundings? By taking away the things you don't need and make few changes whenever you can.

You see, when you're always making your surroundings new by taking away what you don't need, you subconsciously train your mind to keep improving every single day without even knowing it.

Your surroundings must reflect your mindset.

So learn to take stuff you don't need away. It distracts you. Share those things to neighbors, friends or less privileged people who may need them. You will strengthen your relationship with these people by doing so and more especially your mindset for success. A win-win situation!

We shouldn't be hoarding things unnecessarily.

Hoarding things doesn't just pertain to properties, you shouldn't hoard paying people nice compliments or using your words to make them feel better. You shouldn't hoard your care and affection.

Yeah, we know that there are people who won't appreciate it when you care, but still care for people anyway. You're doing it for yourself. You never know how far your words can go to change someone's mind.

Many have been saved from committing suicide and other dangerous acts because of a nice word somebody said to them.

So when you're moved to say something nice or comforting to someone, just say it. It doesn't take anything away from you. Paying that compliment or saying something nice doesn't make you lesser than that person. You just make your world a lil much better as you've made that person's world.

If we can learn to love, share and give freely without holding back, we will make room for these things to keep manifesting in our lives. We will see that our minds won't be cluttered by things of the past because we've not cluttered our world with hoarded things.

We will find it easier to accomplish our goals and we build strong networks with people around us. I'll end with this short update by my friend Shola:

"The Hoarders

An aunt of mine died recently. She was a widow. She also had no child. She died in her late 50s. She has been buried.

When the family went to clean up her property, they were amazed. She was a hoarder. The type you watch on American and British reality shows.

 She had stuff filling her apartments. Piles of new materials. Piles of expired food products. Piles of gifts and souvenirs dating 10 years.

6 television sets. 5 new freezers. 4 new generating sets. New gas cookers. Kerosine stoves of the 80s. All new. Expired vegetable oil.

Decaying bags of rice. And so forth. There was no sitting space in a 4 bedroom apartment. Littered with junk.

Plenty of stuff was thrown away. Many shared by family members who had no clue on how she lived. I am certain she has a decent amount in the bank.

She was prudent. Almost much too prudent.

 Bordering on...

Many of us are like her. We can’t give away stuff that we do not need. We pile “junk” that might be useful to another.

We have clothes in wardrobes all over. We hoard everything we own. Lace of '92, gele of '88.
Many even hoard love and praise.

They hoard affection. No one is deserving of love. No one is deserving of help. When they lose, one they love, they cry, because they hoarded words of affection and more.

Life is meant to be lived. That we will die is certain. The uncertainty is when and how. The wise one lives everyday as the last.

This is not to be read as encouraging wastrels. Or failing to save for tomorrow. Empty your barns regularly to the needy so you also can have new stock.

At the end, the only thing you take with you, is your soul. Nourish that."

Inspiring wasn't it? His update inspired this blog post. Let's learn to share, give and love. It takes nothing from us and gives us everything.

Throw away your hoarders mentality this second and keep winning!

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Living In The Now Maybe Bullshit

Living In The Now Maybe Bullshit

You hear it almost everywhere these days. They say you should live in the now, you stay present and feel the moment.

They say you should forget about the past and the future but enjoy the beauty that always comes with the present. You hear stuff like this almost all the time don't you?

Well, that's the new age idea that many people are beginning to buy.  And if it's not well understood, those people will not see the hidden bullshit idea they're buying.

When they preach "Live in the now," "Live in the present moment," "Feel the present moment," I think the point they're trying to make is that we should be more conscious of whatever we're presently doing, so we can achieve the best results.

When you're working on something very important for example, you're a surgeon carrying out an operation or you're a soldier in war facing live gun fire or maybe you're a scientist carrying out an experiment or a fast driver on high speed or you're a lawyer listening to the accused, you have to really be present.

You have to keep your attention focused on what you're doing because once your attention is off even for a second, it could be disastrous or you could miss very important information (the only reason why I may ever buy into living in the now). This is because you don't need to be thinking of the future or the past when you're in such conditions. Deep focus on the now is needed.

However, when some people interpret living in the now to mean that you should never think about the future or consider the past before taking any decision, then it becomes total bullshit. Because, when you see through that interpretation, you'll see that it will make you miss many things and consequently become lazy.

If you cannot see beyond the present when you need to, then how can you ever make any progress in life?

They say you should always forget about the past and the future and just breathe. Just enjoy the breeze, the insects, the sun rays, seriously? Then how can you ever make good use of your time?

Every reasonable man or woman has to plan himself or herself very well to meet any possible outcome. You can't just sit around living in the now.

We have a lot of useful lessons from our pasts that we can apply to our present moments. We cannot scrap all those important lessons in the name of living in the now.

It's important to anticipate possible outcomes for the future, to enable us keep working towards what we want. Or else, we will find ourselves lying around wasting our time, and we won't even take advantage of opportunities that come our way because we never anticipated them.

This is why I say that "Living in the now maybe bullshit" and that's if we allow the philosophy make us become indolent and laid back.

This unforeseen laid back attitude is obviously what people are accepting more these days in the name of living in the now. They don't want to work, they don't want to plan, they don't want to stress themselves, so most of them find comfort in just living in the now.

This is why I am writing this article. Bold winners are not lazy people. They don't accept philosophies because it comforts them and makes them relax. They stay focused. They stay present when they need to be present, they think and plan for the future when they have to, and they remember the past and apply the lessons learnt when they have to.

Bold winners aren't stuck anywhere within the past, present or future. They know that these three are interconnected and one cannot do without the other. Only change is constant.

That's why bold winners know that living in the now should mean one being conscious of what he or she is presently doing rather than always being stuck with the present. It's crazy.

You need to know when to live in the now(be present), when to consider the future(but never get stuck worrying about it) and when to remember lessons from the past(rather than keep regretting it).

You should be careful not to buy into laziness and irresponsibility because you think everything is in the now.

Everything is interconnected. And you have to work towards whatever you desire to achieve.

There's no other shortcut. Don't pretend to be happy just because you want to escape your responsibility.

Never buy into bullshit ideas hidden behind maxims and keep winning!

Friday, February 2, 2018

Stop Watching TV Like A Zombie

Stop watching TV like Zombie

These days, a lot of people are spending more and more time glued to their TV's, laptops or mobile devices watching various programs continuously. Unknowingly, they're gradually turning themselves into zombies if they don't stop this bad habit.

Our television sets weren't designed to be watched almost every time. They were designed for our entertainment and it's up to us to plan ourselves accordingly as regards how much entertainment we need to be getting from it. However, the use of TV has been greatly abused as more people are losing control of it and consequently it's turning most of them into unproductive people.

Come to think about it, what exactly do you really gain from spending too much time watching TV? If you think about it well enough, you will find out that your rarely gain much asides from fleeting excitement, laughter or some new information about something. And you only get the latter benefit when you're watching something educational or you watch the news. But how many people watch educating programs?

Massive man hours are spent by majority watching different kinds of movies, music shows, sports and etcetera. What exactly do you gain from movies? Nothing much asides the most common moral lessons which are: Be good, be smart and be more alert. What else do you want to learn from watching hundreds of movies on TV?

What about music shows? What could you gain by watching hundreds of them? Nothing much except the excitement(which you won't use for anything) that comes from watching a popular singer or dancer on TV. Just the excitement which doesn't last long . It doesn't add anything else to you. Why do you have to sit back and watch every music video?

When it comes to sports, it's only the excitement once again. There's no point watching all the leagues or all the sports. Therefore, you don't need to be watching a sport channel for many hours. If you love football and you have a favorite team, it's okay to plan yourself as regards when to watch your team play during the week and then plan to watch the highlights for other teams. You don't have to watch every game played by all the teams. What's the point? Same goes for all other sports.

I'm not against watching TV at all or seeing interesting programs. What I'm against is watching TV too much like you're a Zombie. And you are liable to do that when you have no plans for watching TV. You should have plans. You should have a scale of preference as regards the programs you will like to watch. You must understand that you mustn't watch every program. You've definitely got to miss some of them, so you can do some other important things.

Watching TV twenty four hours a day is one of the easiest paths to failure. Ask yourself the question: "The people I watch, would I be seeing them if they were also busy watching TV?" This question will open your eyes to the reality of what you're  doing. Those actors you watch aren't watching TV all day like you do! They're acting: they're living their lives being productive through acting a movie. And if you're always just watching them act, how can you be productive at all?

The sports channel you always watch, are the guys that are participating in the sports busy just watching TV? No, they're busy playing the sport and you're just watching and getting excited. If you think about it, you'll see that always watching TV dulls your brain and your motivation to succeed. You'll gradually become too lazy to even do anything and if you're not careful, you'll live your life in regrets.

Who wants that kind of life? Definitely not you. TV is good, once in while, you watch it alone, with your friends or loved ones, but it should never be a full time job. If you have favorite shows, plan your time according as regards how many hours you want to watch and how many hours you should channel to productive activities. Don't fall into the trap of letting the TV program control you. You should be controlling the TV program. That's why you're the OWNER of the TV.

You become a zombie when you let yourself be totally controlled by your TV to the point where you just sit down on your couch and watch anything at anytime. I don't even wish anyone to be that way.

Be the man or the woman who takes control and learn to turn off that TV when you definitely have to. Channel your energy to productive things. With the hours wasted on a TV screen, you can learn a skill, you can work on your business, you can improve your work, you can hang out and meet real people, you can build strong networks, you can apply for lots of opportunities to develop yourself, you can spend more time with people you love, you can build something that could change lives and so on. There are many more productive things you can do with that time. The worst thing is waste them on TV.

The people who read this blog are people who are motivated to succeed and keep succeeding in every aspect of their lives. And it would be a shame if some of you should allow yourselves to be turned into unproductive and unconscious zombies as a result of an inability to control your TV. That's why I've taken time to write and share this article as a reminder. Some of you are already on track, but some of you might be gradually falling into that trap without knowing it. I hope this article helps you guys stay conscious.

Stop watching too much TV and keep winning! 

Monday, January 29, 2018

A Better Way To Study

better way to study

When we talk about study, what usually comes to mind is reading books. What did you think this article was about? You probably thought I was going to write about ways to read more effectively. Well, this article aims to point out a better way of studying other than just reading.

To begin with, the word study, according to the Oxford English Dictionary means: "The devotion of time and attention to gaining knowledge of an academic subject, especially by means of books." Take note of the last line: "…especially" by means of books. In other words, it means that there are other means you can study asides books.

The second definition from the same dictionary says "A detailed investigation and analysis of a subject or situation." This definition seems to be much closer to what I'm writing about. Deep emphasis on "detailed investigation and analysis."

Knowledge is everywhere around us. And if only we can pay some attention to many things happening around us, we will know what we need to know.

I'm not against reading as a way of studying. It's good. I've personally learnt many things that has improved my life through reading books, but I know that if I hadn't combined my reading with other means of study, I may not have made as much progress as I've made.

Why do you think some people who are seemingly uneducated still make significant strides in their personal lives and become very successful? Some of them never even saw the four walls of a school system talk more or read big books, but they're not failures. Why's that? They studied through other means!

You can study better by devoting your time and attention to anything. Whatever it is! If you can even observe what's going on in your own environment, you will gain useful knowledge that you may not even find in books.

Books are good, but there are things we must study in life by personal experience and careful observation. There are things we study when we make efforts to be more confident and take risks.

Some people have been so efficient at reading just books, but yet their lives aren't still great. You ever wondered about why's that too?

It's simply because you won't find everything by studying through books. We will study better when we engage ourselves with life and open our eyes to the truth happening around us. If we can be careful to study our surroundings, timings and individuals, we will gain an indispensable kind of knowledge that books may not be able to give us.

I believe that we are all here to learn different lessons and that's why we are not all experiencing the exact same thing. We live in different worlds, though we all coexist on earth. None of us can always and exactly be experiencing what another person is experiencing. It's impossible.

That means that our lives are unique and so are our lessons. To study your own world and your life better, you will have to stop depending too much on merely reading and try your best to understand and interact with that world in which you're experiencing. That way, you'll be able to learn your own unique lesson and make rapid progress.

Here's the summary of everything I'm trying to say:

"If you can study, you will know what you need to know.

Studying does not necessary mean sitting in a class and reading books.

You can study by conscious observation of your environment and the people around you.

You can study by experimenting and keeping record of events with respect to time.

You can study by just opening your eyes to see what's actually happening around you.

Because, our lives are unique and the lessons we are supposed to learn are not the same for everyone. We cannot all undergo the same experiences at same time!

Observe and understand what's happening in your own world. You will know what you need to know if you study this way.

Stop getting distracted with minding other people's businesses. You have your own life, it's more than enough business.

Even the scriptures say "Remove the log in your eyes before complaining about the speck in your neighbor's eye."

Stay conscious, study better, rapidly improve your life and keep winning!

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Jealousy And Praise Are Pointers To Your Success Path

Jealousy and Praise as pointers to success

Jealousy and praise are two sides of the same coin. They are both emotions arising out of the same thing which is achievement. In a competitive world however, where many are trapped in mediocrity, it's easier for other people to get jealous about what you've achieved and you may tend to perceive their envy negatively instead of seeing it as a pointer to your path of success.

Take some time to reflect over your life and figure out the things that you're often praised about. Maybe it's your dexterity in fixing up technical stuff, maybe it's how good looking you are, maybe it's how sweet your food tastes, it could be how well you play a particular sport or even how well you speak, dance and perform on stage. Whatever it is, try to write them down.

Also think about the things that make other people envy you. Write them down too in a separate list. In many cases you will figure out lots of similarities in the two lists. But the point of this exercise is to bring to your consciousness the various things which can be harnessed to lead you to ultimate success. The list could be long or short. It doesn't matter, just be very honest about it and write anything as long as you can be praised or envied because of it.

It's important to make your decision on what you want your life to be based on those items on the list. They're the items that make you stand out of the average life. You should think creatively of those items, find out what it says about you and seek for ways you can add value to the world through it as a possible career path.

For example, say on the list, you have intelligence, maybe you always come on top of your class and of course feathers are ruffled. You have other guys who want to be like you, but you're not giving them any chance. You're busy winning the prize for the best student yearly. Of course, naturally your competitors and other students will tend to be jealous of you.

People tend to naturally feel jealous when they feel that someone else has something which they wish should have been theirs. Sometimes, even the best of your well wishers cannot help but feel a bit jealous of your accomplishments when you're moving up real fast. It's not like they want to be jealous, it comes naturally to them.

In such a school situation as described, the intelligent kid shouldn't make the mistake of channelling negative energy back to other students who may be envious of him. He would lose his focus if he does that and he will go on making unnecessary enemies for himself. But if he doesn't really let the envy of others bother him, he will stay on track as an intelligent kid and develop his intelligence very well.

With a sharpened intellect, he could go into any other field of endeavor he's really passionate about and excel.

For you maybe it's football, managing people, planning or organizing, cooking, dancing, acting, repairing, coding, arguing, manufacturing, talking, cracking jokes. Whatever you're praised or envied for, you should develop it. It points to various paths to your success. You could be praised for being good at games, it says you're a competitive person and you should focus on figuring out how to channel your competitive nature for creating good.

Some people are just very clean, or they have a keen sense of fashion. Some are just really good at Mathematics, some are good at writing or speaking very well, they've got an accent. All these are pointers to their success paths.

People must've made very good comments at you for the way you do something. There are things we do very well, even though we may not notice it ourselves, but other people could see it and say something about it or react in a certain way to you. See through this praise and identify your best skills and maximize them. Don't get carried away!

Alternatively, people must've gotten jealous over you based on something. You should be observant enough to figure out what's making them jealous because your strongest points to progress are usually envied as well. So.. Instead of getting worked up about who's envious or not.. See through the envy and know what you're doing very well. Then continue to do it and expand your experience and skill in that area. Those areas are your key areas to shine and as a bold winner, the goal is to keep shining and keep winning!

Till next time,
It's your boy, Nigel.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Easiest Way To Win People Over

easiest way to win people over

Many little things happen in our daily lives, most of which has a way of guiding us to the truth if only we pay some attention to it. I paid attention to one of those things and it inspired me to write this blog post.

I learnt something new from a pretty young lady Lara, who recently joined a support group for bloggers of various categories of which I was already an existing member. I was inspired with the way she joined the group; the actions she took and her good communication which won the admiration of many of us. How was she able to do this?

Usually, most newbies to the bloggers group often just introduce themselves briefly and start bombarding the platform with various links to visit their blogs. But Lara's approach was different and that made her stand out.

When Lara joined the group, the first thing she said was: "Hi, I'm Lara, nice to meet you all" and after a few responses, she proceeded with "Where do you guys blog at?" This question was so pivotal. She was interested in knowing about the members of the group first and what they do. Like who wouldn't be proud to show off his/her blog?

Of course, most of us were too excited to answer. Comments rolled in from the members who were online, introducing themselves and their blogs to Lara. Amazing.. Lara got us talking! How did she get us to want to talk to her? She simply asked an interesting question. Now, she didn't just stop there. For every blog link that was posted as a reply to her question, she visited it, read one or two posts and dropped off an intelligent comment relating to the post.

That was clearly going the extra mile. Members who dropped off their links got notifications as regards some comments on their blogs and it was from Lara. That really endeared them to her and they thanked Lara for visiting their blogs and commenting it. I would like to remind you that she never said anything about her own blog yet. She even helped someone with an answer to a question on comment moderation.

Naturally, enthralled members had to ask her about her own blog. They were naturally craving to find out about her blog. Why? She had showed some concern for theirs and they felt the need to reciprocate. She didn't put her own interest upfront. She communicated very well with existing members, added some value to them and then without even saying anything about her interests, they were asking for it.

Long story short, she was the center of attention at that time and we all ended up on her blog, reading and commenting on it.

What's the lesson behind this? It's the importance of first adding value to other people before clamoring for your interests. Sadly, it appears many people only care about themselves and their needs without really taking some time to show genuine concern for others. This attitude keeps them trapped with same goals without making much progress.

If you really want to win people over, FIRST add value to them. Think of a way you can add some value to their own lives first. The question you should ask yourself is: "How can I show some care?" "In what little way can I meet their own needs?" "How can I be of use to them?" The only way you can clearly answer those questions is by finding a way to add something nice to those people's aspirations.

See, a whole lot of people out there are bugged with lots of problems already. They've got a lot going on in their minds and they're thinking of how to achieve their numerous goals. You shouldn't blame them if they don't really take your requests seriously when you've done nothing in any way to meet any of their problems. And the thing is: You don't need to solve all their big problems to win them over. Just do any little thing you can for them that can help them achieve an objective or need. It works wonders.

"Do unto others what you want them to do unto you."
- The Golden Rule 

Learn to think first about what you can do for people, how you can help them if you want them to be willing to easily support you. You build great relationships with them and they'll be your buddies for life. It's that simple. It's one of the principles of effective communication(a blog post on that is coming up soon titled "Secrets of effective communication").

Keep this in mind, keep winning people over and just keep winning boldly in every area of your life.


Sunday, September 24, 2017

Why You Shouldn't Take Mockery Seriously

Why you shouldn't take mockery seriously

I have an awesome friend called Dave.  Dave is smart, intelligent and very funny. He is full of life, energy and fun. Whenever I'm around him,  I laugh a lot alongside some of his other friends. When Dave talks and you're looking at him, you'd  rarely notice his dentition isn't pretty nice because you'll be lost in his words.

Despite the way his set of teeth looked, Dave was never shy to speak, to crack his humorous jokes and just be a happy guy to be around with. He wasn't limited by it. He only smiled and cracked a joke about anyone who makes a comment about his teeth. He wasn't hiding it. He didn't let it make him stop being himself.

In contrast, I learnt about another guy who also had bad dentition. As expected, he was constantly jeered at by his peers because of that. This guy took it to heart, and rarely spoke in public. In his photos, he rarely smiled because he didn't want anyone to notice the way his teeth looked.

He became restrained and unhappy because he was limiting himself as a result of letting that bother him. He was someone you would rarely be around with because he hardly laughs. He was too conscious of his teeth. It wasn't good for him.

Assuming you had bad dentition, which of those guys would you rather be? Dave or the other guy? Your guess is as good as mine. It's Dave of course, the young chap who kept on being happy, having fun and making lots of friends by being himself and not letting that little predicament limit him.

This is just an example. There are many things about you that other people can make mockery of. They may say you're too tall, too short, too fair, too dark, too slow, too fast, stammering, ugly, and lots of all other words that could be used to make humor or just ridicule you. You don't have to take it seriously. You don't have to let it get to you or make you stop being who you are, free and happy.

If you have not known, accepted or understood the way you are and who you really are, you will be affected by those common talks from other people. Know, accept and understand yourself, the way you are, and who you are. For example, if you're short, It's obvious that you're short, you must love and accept yourself that way. If you love and accept that you're short, it will be hard to get angry at anyone who makes a comment about it.

Being short doesn't limit what you can achieve. Kevin Hart is short. He's a well known celebrity, he's celebrated and very successful in his career, despite being short. If he had allowed comments about his shortness to bother him, you think anyone will know about him today?

People go on feeling bad about what other people said about the way the look which is so unnecessary if only they loved and accepted themselves. It's not the mockery that makes people believe negative things about themselves. It's their latent low self esteem. So they tend see such words as an attack on themselves. If only they knew themselves, they won't be bothered at all.

There's no point trying to hide yourself or your looks because people are commenting negatively about it. When they comment, keep on being yourself and keep showing up. Keep showing yourself. Keep living. They will get used to your looks and get tired of making mockery of you.

If you let them make you crawl inside and hide yourself, then you've lost the game. Their comments should inspire you to keep showing up, contrary to what they expect. Keep showing up and being yourself. Ignore those negative comments aimed to bring you down. Surprise them by staying happy despite all they may say.

It's not what people say about you outside that should determine how you feel about yourself. You should determine how you feel about yourself by loving yourself and accepting yourself the way you are. Not them.

We can't totally stop people from mocking or making jest of us sometimes. That's the way life is. You can't stop people from talking about you. You'll have to stop them from talking altogether which is impossible. People are too occupied with their own personal lives and interests than to care about how you will feel when they mock you.

Some may mock you without any bad intentions. Just for laughter and fun. Being mocked by others doesn't make those who mock us bad people. We only need to know ourselves and see that these mockeries shouldn't be taken seriously at all.

Take your mind off mockeries and rude words. Love yourself first, love others and keep winning.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Not Always About What You Think


A bold winner must always put into consideration the fact that things may not be exactly as he/she thinks. You may have ideals and beliefs about something, but be careful enough to consider what other people think about it as well before accepting or concluding your own assertions of what's true.

Often times, we make the mistake of thinking that we're always right and what we believe is true. That makes us arrogant and indifferent to other people's point of view. We must avoid that by first trying to get a balanced perspective of things. From there we can make well informed decisions on what to believe or act upon.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's Ted Talk on the "Danger of a Single Story" points out the importance of gaining that balanced view of things. You can see the enlightening video here on YouTube:




Make it a priority to always gather information from extensive and diverse sources before making a decision to believe anything or act upon it. It gives you a greater edge over someone who just believes things without substantial information because he/she simply feels they are true.

Don't take regrettable actions or make poor decisions because you thought you were right. Be sure of your thought results by considering what others think as well.

Stay Bold.. Keep Winning! 

Friday, August 11, 2017

Learn To Be Proud of Yourself

Be freaking proud of yourself

"I messed up in that exam today," "I'm not good enough," "I'm useless," "I can't achieve it," "They're better than me," "I'm a failure," "I'm not worth it," All these thoughts go round and round the minds of different people in different places across the globe every single day.

It's not that these thoughts pay or that they are beneficial to anyone. It's just that many people have formed the habit of thinking that way and seeing themselves that way. That's why we have many unhappy people today, all those kinds of thought keep going on in their heads.

But I want every one of you to think about this article I shared on my Facebook timeline and make changes to your thought process and lifestyle:

________

When last did you tell yourself that you were proud of yourself? When last did you say to yourself.. "I'm (Name) and I'm damn proud of myself." Ask yourself that question.

You're always busy inside your head saying negative things to yourself. The more you say negative things to self, the more you begin to accept it as your identity and the more it becomes reality to you!

Please, take some time everyday to think of reasons why you're proud of yourself so far. Think of your successes. We are so used to thinking and seeing only our failures. Decide to Remember your successes.

Remember when you aced that exam? Remember when you did something others were proud of. Remember when you won that competition. Remember when you carried out that project successfully. Remember how beautiful you look. Remember how wonderful your voice sounds. Remember how you usually come tops in a card game. Remember anything about yourself that you are proud of today.

Take some time away from negatively thinking about self and think good thoughts about yourself. It greatly builds your self esteem against all odds. Your government or community won't do that for you. It is your responsibility to build your self esteem and it starts with being proud of who you are and your accomplishments, no matter how tiny they seem to you. 

Now, switch that mindset from negative to positive and just smile for me today. I love you. Yes you. :)

________

That's it. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones that empower you, motivate you and feel good about yourself on a daily basis. Don't forget to do this.

Keep winning! 

Monday, July 17, 2017

In All You Do, Don't Be Fake!

don

Meet Miss.X on social media, she looks pretty, charming and larger than life. But meeting her in real life, she's far from what she portrays herself as. She's been editing most of her pictures just to look good online. Someone might have been genuinely interested in her if she wasn't afraid of showing herself the way she is online. But when they meet her in real life, they are disappointed that it's all fake.

Meet Mr. Y, he portrays himself online as a Big businessman into foreign merchandise while he is actually still actively looking for jobs. He barely manages to feed himself from his daily wages as a laborer. Some people may have viewed his profile and might have wanted to help him.. But well he is assumed to be comfortable and he loses his chances.

You're working for a boss who treats you like crap, has no respect for you and gives no damn about your welfare. Deep down, you're unhappy with his attitude and you resent his methods. But instead of letting him know how you really feel about him, you keep pretending that you're fine and okay. You choose to be fake because you're afraid of his reaction or even to lose your job. In the end he keeps treating you like dirt.

You're really pissed off about something, it makes you angry and it's something that you really detest. You get an opportunity to do or say something about it, but no.. You'll rather hide your feelings and pretend that it's okay. You don't want people to talk, but deep down you're disturbed and you're urged on to do something about it. But you suppress it and choose to be fake.

You're in a really happy mood and you feel like dancing. But you're considering what that may mean to other people and you suppress the expression of your happiness. Who's losing? It's you.

In this life, there is a reason why we are strongly moved to do anything. This urge comes from deep within us and it yearns for expression because it is a creative force. However, often times because of fears that we have, we suppress it and thereby deny the world of the creation and birth of something new.

Being authentic can open the doors to many beautiful things in our lives. We can connect with the right persons, we can become linked to tremendous and life changing opportunities, we can improve our relationships and let others know their areas of improvement. We can shape our political, religious and educational systems to become better.

These great changes are possible only when we drop all falsity and strive to always be real. Our suppression of our authentic self is the reason we are still bedevilled by many problems till today.

By the way, we all love authentic and original things, don't we? Who wants something fake??

Be real today, not fake.

Keep Winning!

After Reading This, Your Brain Will Not Remain The Same


I just came across this video on YouTube and I really think it has a wonderful content to be shared here on the bold winner's blog.

Dr. Lara Boyd, a researcher in neuroscience and neurobiology who established the Brain Behavior Lab had some very interesting facts to share with us about the human brain.

Contrary to what we thought, the brain doesn't stop changing or developing at a certain age. The brain constantly changes it's shape, chemical processes and patterns regularly.

And these changes are determined mainly by our individual behaviors. If we choose to change our brains, we must change our actions, what we do, where we go to, what we listen to, what we see around us.

There is no quick fix or drug to enhance neuroplasticity(the ability of your brain to reorganize itself and form new neural connections) than to change your behavior.

An interesting fact is that there is a degree of variability playing a great role in her research. The rates of neuroplasticity varies in individuals and what works for one may not work for another.

For some people, they could master anything skill in less than 10,000 hours and for others, it could take longer than that contrary to popular belief.

It is interesting to note that the overlapping discovery which can be generalized is that our behavior is the major and lasting way to change our brains!

You want a better brain? Choose to behave better. Try to do something new. Consciously decide to get more knowledgeable about anything. Meet new people, try new methods, change your environment.

These new actions help you absorb new facts which go on shaping your brain. Find out what's unique about you. Find your niche. With this discovery, we know that what works for one person's brain, may not work for another person.

Find what works for you, find the pattern that suits you most for learning and change your behaviour as required to put your brain to best use!

Watch the video and share your thoughts..

Keep winning!

Sunday, July 16, 2017

The Good Kind Of Selfishness


If we are all to tell ourselves the truth, we are all selfish beings. You may tend to disagree only because you've associated selfishness to connote something negative. But selfishness has positive sides to it.

We all have our own personal wants and desires.. We may want to go to heaven, come first in a competition; become richer, prettier or more knowledgeable than someone else. We may want to fall in love with a particular person rather than another etc.

All these are selfish interests and no matter how we want to deny that fact, it still stares us in the face that for every action we take, we do it for a purpose.

However, the actions we take to achieve our selfish interests is what determines if the selfishness involved is a good kind or a bad kind. When we use negative means to achieve our desires, the selfishness is a negative one.

When we use positive means acceptable to our conscience and fellow human beings to actualize our selfish interests, the selfishness is a good one.

Let us still be loving, kind and good people even as we intend to achieve our selfish interests. You don't have to hurt anyone, be wicked or heartless in pursuit of your desires. Because employing such means not only hurts other people, but hurts you as well in the long run when those you hurt will hurt you back as well.

Think about it.




Monday, June 19, 2017

Deal With Social Media Envy!

deal with social media envy

You log on to Facebook or Instagram, you are bamboozled with different pictures and images uploaded by your friends. They all seem to be having a good time and enjoying themselves.

He takes a picture with his brand new car, she posts a picture where she's chilling with her fiance, there's a picture of your friends having fun at a party or get together last night. All these kind of pictures are flashed on social media on a daily basis.

For some people, they tend to start feeling bad about their own selves when they see these pictures. They wonder, 'Why isn't it me?' 'Why am I not the one having this much fun?' 'Why am I not the owner of that brand new car or house?' It becomes a problem for these people.

They always compare themselves with what they see on social media and they start feeling bad when it appears they don't have what they see.

They easily forget that most people only post their best pictures online and that they don't know what those people might be going through in their own lives, but because of what they see on social media, they conclude that life is all rosy for them.

It's easy to upload such pictures if you want to really show off or if it makes you feel good. You can chat up your own friends to hang out at cool pics and take shots. It's easy to take a pic with any car or house and claim it's yours. Taking pics shouldn't be a problem if you want to feel good about yourself.

The important thing is asking yourself why. Why do you feel in a certain way when you see certain pictures online if you too can create such pictures yourself or take similar shots with ease?

There's no point in feeling down. Learn to genuinely feel good about yourself and for other people. When you look at it critically, there is no need to be jealous of anybody talk less of an online picture as long as you're doing your best in whatever you do.

Stop comparing yourself on social media. It does you no good. The fact that people upload awesome pictures everyday online doesn't necessarily mean that everything is well with them or that they are better than you.

Most of these people often upload pictures just to feel good about themselves. Some of them are actually lonely and depressed, but they see social media as a way to feel good about themselves. So why should you be jealous of any picture on social media?

Stop the envy, stop the comparison and just be happy with yourself and other people. You are happy when you're being yourself and doing what you want. If taking pictures everyday just like your friends will make you happy, please do. But don't ever feel sad or terrible about yourself because of what you see on social media.

Create your own fun for yourself. There is no reason to be unhappy, just maximize your opportunities and be happy wherever you find yourself.

It's been a while… Stop envying and keep winning! 

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Take Time To Work On Self


Take time to work on yourself, other things will naturally follow.  It is pointless to always try to change other things because we do not have full control over everything.

But we can have full control over what we do and therefore it is most critical that we take time to develop ourselves and train our mindsets to put us in a right frame of mind to be able to face the challenges of life.

You cannot fully control the government, other people , your environment or your peculiar challenges, but you can control yourself and how you react to the things you encounter.

You find out that having a greater control over yourself and what you do helps you to be able to navigate through life with ease. You do not bother much about the actions of other people, because you understand that if you can be the best version of yourself, you are already changing the world in your own little way.

Changing the world or making it a better place doesn't have to be hard, you don't force people at gunpoint to do your bidding or forcefully try to control them. You will get to understand that taking sufficient time to work on and transform yourself has already changed the world.

So rather than point accusing fingers at every other thing but ourselves, let us look at ourselves, tell ourselves the truth and work on improving who we all are. There is always room for improvement.

Therefore, do not necessarily bother about trying to change other people or how to miraculously change your environment. If you focus on developing yourself to your maximum capabilities, you will see yourself changing those things without much stress.

If other people appear to be wicked and hostile, be a loving person in their midst. If your government doesn't care about you, care about other people in the way you can. If no one is there to teach you, you can teach yourself through study. It's not about what's happening. It's about you.

Take out time to work on yourself and you will be in a better position to make any serious changes in the world.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

The Best Way To Command Attention

The Best Way To Command Attention

A lecturer once came into a class to teach, he started dictating notes for the students and at some point, the class started getting noisy. "Keep Quiet," He yelled and continued dictating his notes. The class became very boring and in a very short time, students became noisy and uninterested again. Some of them started fiddling with their phones and stuff. The lecturer got angry and left the class.

Another lecturer came into the same class and started to teach. He had no notes and he made every student feel at ease with his jokes. He never told them to keep quiet, the students naturally had to keep quiet because they found him interesting. It was easy to learn from his simple manner of teaching coupled with some cool jokes once in a while. The class was quiet most of the time as the lecturer effortlessly commanded their attention.

A man walks into a social gathering and starts expecting everyone to pay attention to him, he has got nothing interesting to say and he sounded like a bore. People naturally didn't care to listen. Another man walks into the same gathering and starts playing a guitar. He plays it so wonderfully well that the audience had no choice but to surround him and admire his dexterity.

A guy has been trying to get the attention of a particular girl without success. He tries many times and fails. It's not like there is anything wrong with the guy, the girl just doesn't find him interesting enough to grab her undivided attention. The guy can't just force the girl's attention, he has to make himself interesting to her in other ways.

Some people try to get the attention of other people by force. They think it's a do or die affair. They demand to be given attention when they are not saying or creating anything that demands it. You only get attention when you are able to do or create what people need. Then you will have their undivided attention without even asking.

Attention need not be asked for. Work on yourself and try to be very good in what you do. The attention will naturally come on its own. Ask yourself the question: Would you prefer to give your attention to a bore or would you give it to someone who is doing or saying something interesting?

Command attention by being an interesting person. Don't try to force it or demand it from people when you're not interesting. You need to work on yourself and focus on being an interesting, productive and creative person. The attention will then come to you on a platter! Keep winning!

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Thoughts On Extremism

thoughts on extremism

I was inspired to write this article because I realised that some persons are beginning to associate extremism with a particular religion or a particular group of people. Stereotypes have been created to fit certain innocent persons who belong to a particular tribe or religion as extremists. This is doing more harm than good in today's world.

An extremist is one who has zero tolerance for the views and perspectives of other people asides his own beliefs. He's ready to defend it it any way and finds it difficult to agree with anybody who thinks otherwise. Extremists usually believe that no other opinion apart from theirs is valid. This makes things very difficult for progressives who try to see things from different angles.

I do not think any religion or race has monopoly over extremism. Anyone who fits into the aforementioned description above is an extremist. It is wrong therefore to brand all adherents of a particular religion or group as extremists or terrorists because of the actions of a few.

If we are to subscribe to that form of thinking, we all would then be rightfully called extremists because of the actions of few people who claim to share our beliefs or culture. Just like calling everyone in a particular community rapists because one man in the community committed rape.

Any one can actually be an extremist. It is not exclusive to a set of people. And extremists are keeping us from evolving as a species. If you're always hell bent on your own beliefs and perceptions about any issue and you don't ever consider the perceptions of other people, you are an extremist! It doesn't matter your race or religion.

If you're intolerant of other people's opinion and you easily get offended by them, you're an extremist. If you are ready to kill anyone who doesn't share your belief system without trying to know and understand them, you're an extremist.

If you're in a relationship and you always claim to be right while your partner is always the one to blame, you're an extremist.

Rather than label people we don't even know as extremists, let us rather try in our own way to genuinely get to know those people. Some of them are not extremists as we may believe. Some of them may be progressive individuals, but are battling with the stereotype we've branded them. They may be trying to prove that they are different, but we don't even care to listen and understand them.

Extremists exist almost everywhere.. It is not exclusive. Let's all understand that, try to accommodate and get to know other people instead of stereotyping them on the outside because they belong to a particular faith.

Thank you.

Originally published on LinkedIn. 

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Social Media Is Becoming Real To Us

social media fast becoming real

Some days ago, a friend of mine told me that she wasn't happy with me because I didn't write a detailed birthday message on her Facebook timeline. Just saying Happy Birthday to her wasn't enough. And she was quite serious about it until I decided to write something special about her on her Facebook wall.

On Whatsapp groups, I've seen friends get into intense arguments which gradually starts becoming offensive or even abusive. To the extent that the parties involved get actually angry with themselves and this leads to some petty personal issues.

I've seen people fall in love on social media easily. Just through chatting with one another. And you begin to wonder how something which wasn't so real to us like the internet started becoming a part of our lives, our psychology and our emotions.

People compare their number of likes, followers and etcetera on social media. Some can decide to do things they wouldn't naturally do simply to gain some approval or "likes" on media. A person's emotion can now change simply because no one liked their post or commented on it.


I never really took social media like something real. But on my birthdays, I felt good when I read through the birthday messages on my social media accounts and the goodwill messages sent to my inbox. It felt really good and I wasn't really expecting that I could be so happy because of messages sent over the internet.

All these things made me see clearly that social media isn't something distant from our being anymore. It is becoming more real to everyone of us each passing day. We just have to live with it and make the best use of it.

As a bold winner, understanding that the internet is gradually becoming real to us as humans, you should be careful the way you project yourself on social media. You must try to never forget the little things that may seem insignificant.

A hello or hi.. Could mean a lot to someone on Facebook. A birthday message could make someone smile. The way you respond to your messages means a whole lot of things. The comments you make on other people's posts or activities could mean a lot more to them.

In a world where the internet is apparently real to humans, we must constantly be aware that our online activities implies our real activities in life and we must be conscious of the self image which we really want to put out online.

Tread careful and act carefully on the social media as you would in real life. You'd be thankful for it. Until next time, keep winning!

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