I don't need to start defining what pornography is to you, why humans are attracted to it and how it affects the brain. You can use Google to find them out. I believe why you are reading this article is simply to find out how you can end the desire to see pornography for good. That's what I'm going to FOCUS on. No distractions.
Almost everyone who uses the internet knows what porn is, even though we'd like to pretend that it's not there, but we all know it's there.
The internet is one of the best things invented on earth and has led to quick exchange of information across nations and beyond borders.
Ideally, things should be improving rapidly based on this development, but guess what? Few people are actually using that internet for something useful. Many have been drawn to the dark side of the net where pornography lives.
Web statistics really show that a lot more people are spending more time viewing porn sites and the number is increasing.
Enough of the pretense, many people are also challenged with the addiction to pornography, but few speak out and many keep pretending not to know.
Pornography has led many ills in our society ranging from inefficiency, laziness, rape, high rate of premarital sex, moral decadence, unwanted pregnancies, time wasting, and loss of focus.
It's silently robbing creative minds of their ability to properly control themselves and make useful impact to society.
The problem of pornography is not solved by clearing your browser history, deleting the videos or images after viewing them and uninstalling your apps.
These things only hide the underlying problem and that’s why it has been difficult for you to break free from it. To solve any problem, we must be able to trace the cause and tackle it from there.
The major causes of pornography addiction are idleness, lack of exercise, reduced will power, lack of self-control, depression, lack of purpose and direction, unclear life intents and goals, unbridled curiosity, poor control over the kind of music you listen to and films you watch.
This article was written with these causes in mind and simple practices to correct them. Always remember that any amount of time, data or money spent on pornography is really a waste.
There are no quick fixes to quit the addiction to see pornography. Most of you will like to scan this article as fast as possible and "KNOW" the secret to quitting porn.
But knowing something is not enough if you can't practice it and see results for yourself. I can't promise that you'll quit pornography in one day or two.
However, I can guarantee you that if you take time to carefully read this and read in between the lines, while practicing what you find here; you will certainly quit pornography for good and see it for what it really is.
Understand that your activities and personal cooperation are very important and very much required from you to be successful with overcoming it.
Don’t just read the article; make it a point of duty to take the suggested actions towards it. This will require some measure of mental and physical preparations which will be elaborated on here. My sincere wish is that this article helps you continually win the war against pornography.
Before you take any action, it must have existed in your mind first. You have to entertain the thought first and decide whether to go ahead with the action or not. Same for pornography: the conscious mind convinces you beyond reason to go ahead and view porn, before you actually view it. Therefore, the first step in overcoming pornography is mental and this will require you to make a firm decision as explained in the action steps.
Some may argue that they don’t have to think about yielding to porn and they just find themselves doing so. Why they think so is simply because conscious repetition puts the mind in auto-pilot. That is: if you have been using your conscious mind to allow yourself view pornography over and over again, it will get to a point where your mind forms a mental habit of always accepting to see it subconsciously.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t think about it. Repetition has made it seem so because of previous patterns and habits. Good news is that you can break away from this pattern, no matter how deep or automatic it has become.
The only catch is that the deeper the pattern, the harder it is to fight it when you start practicing. But trust me, it’s only hard in the beginning and it gets easier with your victories.
Some others want to argue that pornography helps them to learn about how to have sex. This is a deception. If you wanted to learn how to brush your teeth, do you need to download a new video every time to learn how to do so?
If indeed the reason to watch porn is to learn how to have sex, then why didn’t you stop at the first pornographic material you ever saw? Have you ever wondered about how human beings learnt and knew how to have sex before the internet, media, magazines and other outlets came into existence?
The ability to have sex is already built into us as a natural human instinct. Hence, claiming that pornography teaches you how to have sex is an attempt to hide the danger it portends.
Think deeply about why you really want to quit pornography and Make a strong decision right now that you’re going to stop seeing pornography.
You can say it out loud or write it down, but before you do so, you have to think deeply about it and then try to make that decision with a strong conviction that you will actually stop it.
Take as long as it takes to really think about it before you decide. Your reasons for deciding to quit pornography must be very strong; so strong that you will not like to ever go back to it. Now, this may not be so easy for some of you to do.
Ask yourself a deep question. Why do you really want to stop watching porn? Take out time to figure this out and write it down. Think of the very worst things about porn. The vileness, the filthiness in it, the time it wastes and the distraction.
The fact that you found this article already means you are serious about quitting porn. There must be a strong reason for that. Porn may have made you lazy, inefficient, broke, boring, inactive, feel guilt, it may have become so addictive that you can't seem to stop it; it may have taken control of your life. Write down the strongest reasons why you want to stop it.
Think of what you want to achieve by quitting pornography. Will it give you a better control over your life? Will it help you study more? Will it make you more efficient and active? Will it free up your mind to absorb and come up with brilliant ideas?
Will your relationships with other human beings be more fulfilling and loving? List out everything you want to achieve by quitting porn. These lists will be your motivators anytime the urge becomes too strong. So keep these handy and pick up a convenient time every day to look at them for some time.
It will remind you of why you DECIDED to quit pornography. And if you can be consistent in reminding yourself why you want to stop it and what you want to achieve, you've already won half the battle.
The more you're conscious of why you want to stop pornography, your will to stop it will be strengthened. Why you sometimes fall back after the desire to stop is that you forget. Forgetting can make you fail. So remind yourself always.
Now you may be thinking "I've taken the decision to quit many times before, but I keep falling back." The question I'd ask you is "How STRONG was your decision?"
Was your decision strong enough to make you see pornography as a threat to your success, dreams and aspirations? Was it strong enough to make you plan and be very careful about every action you take?
Was it strong enough to make you forfeit certain things so you can actually break away? My guess is NO. Taking a FIRM decision is NOT so easy. It's not just about saying the words. If you think DECISION is all about words, then you've been missing the whole point.
If you're serious about quitting porn, you must believe that you CAN. Some people have given up on fighting it because they don't see the point. They've been trying and failing, so why should they bother again.
These people give up and let pornography ruin their lives. Giving up on this fight means that you're saying "I can't control myself. I'm weak and can't stop it" That's what you say whenever you give up. Truth is: You can actually stop viewing pornography.
You may have your doubts right now. But here I want you to just believe that you and say these words aloud: "I can actually quit pornography." Say it again and say it like you mean it. Believe me, after going through this article and following the practices, you will overcome it.
This action step is there to break all the limiting beliefs you may have about this addiction.
Taking a strong DECISION to quit pornography requires deep reflection and thought. You have to sit down and really think about pornography and see it for what it really is. You just sit down and look at how ugly it is. You must sit down and figure out why you're interested in it in the first place.
Look at your life, relationships, your dreams and aspirations. See how it is limiting your progress in various areas of your life. Think of what you really want to do with your life and see how pornography distracts you from this goal. Pornography steals your time. What on earth is gained by pornography? Answer is nothing. It just wastes your bloody time. And time is money.
Do you feel like you’re powerless over it? I just want you to take my word for it that no matter how powerless you may feel as regards quitting pornography, if you can stay with me till the end of this article, believe that you can actually do this and take the action steps suggested seriously, you will gain tremendous power over it. I’m not just saying it. I want you to simply believe what I’m telling and practice what is recommended here and you will see for yourself.
To be able to bring yourself to find stronger reasons to back up your decision making process, answer the questions:
How do you feel after watching porn? Do you feel great about yourself? What do you gain by it? How has watching pornography helped you achieve our life’s purpose? Why spend precious time watching people have sex?
Can you really say you achieved anything reasonable by watching porn? What has porn taken away from you: your time, focus, relationships with real people, money, energy, focus and mental acuity?
Think of all the possible things you could've done or achieved with time spent on porn. You could have studied more, earned better grades, made more feasible plans in your business, had more fulfilling relationships and even come up with a brilliant idea or a solution to a problem. But look what porn has done; it had stolen your time and made you think more often about sex than you should.
Write down the answers to these questions. Having very strong answers to these questions will give you enough reasons to stick with your decision to quit porn anytime the temptation comes.
Also write down a comprehensive list of all the things you will like to achieve by quitting pornography. All these should make up for sufficient reasons why you will like to quit. Hence our list should include what you’ll love to achieve and what pornography is stealing from you.
As I said, if you’re serious about taking your life back from the dirty hands of this addiction, you must be willing to come up with very strong reasons.
Reasons that will make you really hate pornography and detest it as much as possible. And this is done best by systematically thinking about all the things pornography has robbed you of. One of these reasons should be that addiction to pornography is a strong sign of laziness and lack of clear directions or intent.
Do not proceed if you have not spent quality time in carrying out this exercise. When the reasons have been listed out on paper, make it a point of duty to go through them immediately you wake up and just before you go to bed.
The truth is that it's not so easy. Nothing worthwhile comes very easily. You'll be ready to really put in work for it. I think it's worthwhile to put in the work right now and have a focused and decisive life rather than let the addiction to pornography control and destroy your whole life. I think a smart person will be willing to sacrifice certain things for his/her ultimate happiness.
Whatever worthwhile you want to achieve in this life, you must be willing to put in work, pay the price and make the necessary sacrifice for it. Anybody telling you otherwise is trying to deceive you. Breaking free from pornography will require your commitment, time, dedication and devotion. You must be prepared to practice and continue with the other action steps suggested in this article and keep on practicing. I tell you determination and consistency is the key to it.
If you have really gone through the mental preparation and followed the steps suggested therein, you are already winning the battle because you’ve started from the origin which is the mind. However, our physical environment always creates impressions on the mind whether we are conscious of this or not.
The things you see around you, the things you hear, the environment or physical situations you find yourself in all have a way of influencing the mind. t
You have to consciously take control of your environment if you don’t want the mind to be overcome again by the urge. The more control you have over your body, the things you choose to see, hear or experience, the greater your will power, which will help you stick to your decision.
You must see this as a war. It's a serious war you're facing. This war will never end; you just have to continue winning it. Pornography is trying to ruin you and you're fighting to take your life back from its ugly clasp. You must be prepared physically too, but how?
Before I proceed to the steps needed in the physical preparations, I will like to make something clear: The brain works in such a way that when you do something over and over again, it creates a kind of automatic connection to that thing and increases the urge for you to do it again... and if this continues like that for a long period of time, it will seem as if you have no control over it. But you still actually do, just that it has become very weak.
To reverse that urge to repeat these bad habits, you have to consciously stop doing that thing. It is very difficult at first, but once you continue rejecting the idea of doing it for over a period of time. The brain naturally weakens that link and you gain your full control again.
Be prepared to resist the urge to see pornography for as many times as you’ve ever seen it and beyond.
1. Be selective about the kind of music, films or books you read.
What kind of movies do you love to see and what kind of music do you listen to? Do you watch too much movies that are sexually charged? Do you listen to music that is always sex themed?
If you're serious about this deal, then you must be selective in the kind of movies and music you choose to play. Remember it starts from your mind. If your battle is strong at the mind level, you're already winning the war. To strengthen your mind, you must not feed it with things that suggests and triggers the urge to view pornography.
Go through your music folder. Delete music which is focused on sex and vulgarity. Download fresh music that can inspire or motivate you to be a better person. Stop playing music which does not have a good impact on you well-being.
The movies you watch too can trigger the urge to see pornography. You have to quickly scan through movies before you decide to watch them, so you can have an idea of the kind of content it has. There are websites too like rottentomatoes.com and metacritic.com which offer movie reviews to help you know if a movie contains some content you may not like to see.
Some books too are not good for you. They keep your mind focused on sex all the time and can trigger the urge to view pornography. You must be on guard and be careful about what you let your mind consume.
So draw out a plan to discard any movies, books or music which you know can trigger these thoughts. And replace them only with the ones that can help improve your life.
2. Exercise your body
A sound mind lives in a sound body. Do have a regular exercise routine? Do you take some time exercise your body? Do you engage your body into something?
You need to engage yourself with an exercise that develops your body and improves your health. There are many of them out there; you can go swimming, play tennis, basketball, hit the gym, and play football or any other sport.
You can easily learn any of them as well. Make a plan right now to regularly participate in any sport of your choice. This will keep your body healthy and your mind sharply focused.
3. Go out more and hang out with people
There is a greater chance of wanting to see pornography when you are alone. Learn to go out and engage with other people. Don’t spend most of your time alone.
We are social creatures and as such it is important to connect, socialize and meet with real human beings. Push yourself to make out time for real social activities. This will improve your mental health and keep you away from pornography.
4. Make a list of the things you will love to learn how do
This is very important. A key point in overcoming the urge to see pornography is keeping your mind actively engaged and working on something always. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
Therefore anytime your mind is not occupied with something positive, negative thoughts will find time to creep in. Therefore make a good list of many things you will like to learn. You can add things you also want to improve yourself on. The list may include: good books you’ll like to complete, places you’ll like to visit, courses you’ll love to learn etc.
Make this list and everyday work towards crossing something out of the list. You’ll be amazed at the many things you will learn how to do just by doing this. If your mind is actively engaged in productive pursuits and endeavors, there will simply be no time to see porn.
The physical and mental preparation were designed to prepare you physically and mentally so that you will be fit to go into battle. If you have successfully gone through them, then you are ready for the battle, so please proceed else go back and prepare.
Now you are mentally and physically prepared. Your mindset has changed, you’ve made some changes in your physical environment, and you’ve set your goals and outlined things you’ll love to achieve. I will now go further to reveal the keys to overcoming the urge when temptation strikes.
1. Operation “Fry the thought”
The thought and the need to see pornography can only enter your mind when you are idle and not thinking about anything productive. This is why I previously suggested one of the major steps you're overcome pornography is to engage yourself in real life activities.
Visit your friends, go out and learn how to play a game, offer to take someone out, read up on how to improve your work, read books that can help you, play interesting games. Always engage your mind with things that are helpful and things that won't trigger lustful thoughts.
It happens that sometimes, our minds may not always be engaged, especially when we are at rest. At this point different things can creep in including the desire to see porn. Here's where operation fry the thought comes into play.
Whenever you're at rest and a thought comes to you to see porn, fry the thought immediately by either channeling your mind to something else, saying a word that will help you remember, or immediately getting up to do something else.
Words can be anything from "I reject you" "Get behind me" "To hell with it" or whatever suits you. Anything that will eliminate the thought and remind you of your reasons and your decision is welcome.
It is important that any slightest thought to see pornography is dismissed immediately. The more time these thoughts stay in your mind, the greater the chances that you will be convinced to see it, so you must not tolerate any thought that pushes you to see pornography.
Fry it by thinking something else, saying something else, or getting up to do something else. Our actions in terms of these things are what will kill off the desire at that initial mental level.
Keep on practicing this until you master it.
2. Go without the internet for some time
I will personal recommend 2 weeks for anyone serious about this. Take a break from the internet. If you must use it for any reasons, then plan yourself so that you can only use it at a public cybercafé. On a personal note, cut off the internet from your personal gadgets for at least two weeks.
Use the time away to focus on building yourself and thinking of various ways you can move closer to your goals in life. I promise you that you will be pleasantly surprised at how much time you got and what you will achieve just in those weeks.
Sometimes we spend too much time surfing the internet for nothing and in the process one may stumble upon pornography or decide to download it because they don’t really have a particular reason to be online.
After these two weeks, you can still personally decide to go without the internet anytime you want. Form a habit of only going online when you have specific and important things to do online. Plan the time you should spend online and always have a meaningful purpose before you connect.
3. When strongly tempted, go back to your notes
The notes you made earlier, which included reasons why you decided to quit porn and what you intend to achieve should be kept handy. You should make copies of them and place in strategic places where you can always read them and remind yourself of them.
These notes should be read whenever it seems that the urge has become strong. I really suggest going some time without the internet because the starting period of quitting porn is the toughest, but it definitely gets easier when you are consistent. Going without the internet will greatly increase your chances of surviving the high pressure that comes in the beginning.
Remember to remind yourself of your decision and motives with these notes. It will keep you conscious of your goal. If you stay conscious, then it will be difficult to unconsciously go back to watching pornography.
Now sometimes the temptation becomes strong. This shouldn't happen if you fried the thought immediately, but once the urge is that strong, here's what you'd do; Get up and go get your lists and notes. Read them. Turn off your phone, laptop, iPad and leave the room of you can. Move your body, breathe in deeply and exhale.
Relax and find something else to channel your mind to. Do anything that will take your mind away from that strong urge. The urge will pass. The key here is in playing the game right mentally. Once you permit the thought to stay in your mind for too long, the thought to engage becomes stronger. That's why you must work on eliminating all influences to see pornography from your mind; Bad Music, Videos and books.
You must be strict about this because anytime you fall, you're adding to the accumulated habit. Your goal is to cancel out accumulated indulgences with your rejections. If you can reject the urge to see porn as many times as you've accepted it, you have already broken free.
No matter how free or liberated you may become after reading and practicing the contents of this article, you must try to continually keep up with these things. Some people have fallen back to pornography just the moment when they think they have triumphed over it because they let their guards down.
You must always be ready, no matter how many times you’ve overcome the temptation. Pride comes before a fall. Keep this in mind always. Don't believe just words. Believe in your behaviors and daily actions to quit. Thank you and all the best!