Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts

Friday, 6 April 2018

Be New Every Single Day

Be New Every Single Day

All progress comes from our being new..
A musician keeps singing new songs.. An engineer keeps innovating new designs. A scientist keeps carrying out new experiments.

You don't have to carry over the past with you everyday you wake up.

Be new every single day. Don't be the same old person you were yesterday..

It's only when you're new every day that you experience miracles.

The past is usually a burden to us and when we stop letting it drag us behind, we become free to experience the beautiful things in the new.

Many people are stuck with either the good or bad experiences of their past that they cannot even live.

When you keep thinking about the past, you keep reliving it in your mind and you miss the beautiful opportunities to experience greater things which the present always offers you.

Many other people who have accomplished certain notable things in their lives tend to feel that they are complete or that they have arrived.

Once you start thinking that you're complete you start becoming dead.

Aspire for more and more everyday. There should be no point where you should get to and stop trying. Each level you attain calls you to a higher level.

Don't be the same old person you were yesterday. You can always be better than your old self and every single moment of today offers you that chance.

You see, the reason why some of us are still trapped in the same circumstances is simply because we have not changed our attitudes or tried to improve ourselves.

The circumstances you experience outside of you is often a mirror of your own person life.

If you find yourself in the same circumstances over and over again, you need to change and become new.

You can move a new neighborhood, you can change the way you dress, you can become more careful about your words, you can try a new method of doing something you've always done or you can make new friends.

There are many ways we can renew ourselves and our attitudes. And all it takes is conscious action. Be conscious of what you really want to achieve.

Be conscious of the things you always do. And try to improve them.

We must not let the circumstances or achievements of the past keep us stuck. We must celebrate our successes, but it shouldn't make us to relax and stop seeking to improve.

Because life is all about improvement and renewal. Reptiles shed off their old skin to reveal their new bodies. Plants die and their seeds grow again to renew them.

We must never get stuck at any point in mind or in body.

Always be new everyday and keep winning!

Monday, 5 March 2018

The Hoarders Mentality

hoarders mentality
A lot of people have this tendency of hoarding things and always keeping unnecessary stuff to themselves. They find it difficult to let things they don't need anymore go. Rather than let someone else have it, they prefer to hoard it. This is what I call the hoarders mentality.

A hoarder is more like a miserly person. He or she believes that it will never be enough for them and will continue to save up unnecessary things. But this is a big trap and demonstrates a poor mindset.

Winners know and believe that they will never run dry. This doesn't mean that they waste their resources, rather they aren't afraid to let go of the things they no longer need. And indeed, they never run dry. Beliefs are incredibly powerful.

Many of the things some of us still keep with ourselves aren't needed anymore by us, yet we just leave them with us for no good reason. You go to some homes, you find a large box filled with old clothes that are no longer in use. Why not share?

You bought a new gadget and won't be needing the old one, why not give it away to someone else that may need it rather than pack it up in the basement?

Winners usually live like Spartans. They only use or keep exactly what they need. Whatever they don't need has no business with them. As a matter of fact, allowing yourself get attached to things you should have given away keeps you lagging behind.

Winners are bold people who keep looking forward to new and better things deserving of their attention and time. As a human being who is always moving and changing positively, it's important you don't let attachment to physical things hold you back.

By giving away everything you don't need, you make room for exactly what you need! When you keep hoarding things, you keep yourself from progressing. Our mindsets should be reflected in our surrounding.

A positive mindset aspiring for new experiences, should be matched with surroundings that are continually renewed. These surroundings give good feedback to your subconscious mind and strengthens your mindset to stay anew.

But a surrounding that stays the same always, will subconsciously keep you thinking the same way. How do you renew your surroundings? By taking away the things you don't need and make few changes whenever you can.

You see, when you're always making your surroundings new by taking away what you don't need, you subconsciously train your mind to keep improving every single day without even knowing it.

Your surroundings must reflect your mindset.

So learn to take stuff you don't need away. It distracts you. Share those things to neighbors, friends or less privileged people who may need them. You will strengthen your relationship with these people by doing so and more especially your mindset for success. A win-win situation!

We shouldn't be hoarding things unnecessarily.

Hoarding things doesn't just pertain to properties, you shouldn't hoard paying people nice compliments or using your words to make them feel better. You shouldn't hoard your care and affection.

Yeah, we know that there are people who won't appreciate it when you care, but still care for people anyway. You're doing it for yourself. You never know how far your words can go to change someone's mind.

Many have been saved from committing suicide and other dangerous acts because of a nice word somebody said to them.

So when you're moved to say something nice or comforting to someone, just say it. It doesn't take anything away from you. Paying that compliment or saying something nice doesn't make you lesser than that person. You just make your world a lil much better as you've made that person's world.

If we can learn to love, share and give freely without holding back, we will make room for these things to keep manifesting in our lives. We will see that our minds won't be cluttered by things of the past because we've not cluttered our world with hoarded things.

We will find it easier to accomplish our goals and we build strong networks with people around us. I'll end with this short update by my friend Shola:

"The Hoarders

An aunt of mine died recently. She was a widow. She also had no child. She died in her late 50s. She has been buried.

When the family went to clean up her property, they were amazed. She was a hoarder. The type you watch on American and British reality shows.

 She had stuff filling her apartments. Piles of new materials. Piles of expired food products. Piles of gifts and souvenirs dating 10 years.

6 television sets. 5 new freezers. 4 new generating sets. New gas cookers. Kerosine stoves of the 80s. All new. Expired vegetable oil.

Decaying bags of rice. And so forth. There was no sitting space in a 4 bedroom apartment. Littered with junk.

Plenty of stuff was thrown away. Many shared by family members who had no clue on how she lived. I am certain she has a decent amount in the bank.

She was prudent. Almost much too prudent.

 Bordering on...

Many of us are like her. We can’t give away stuff that we do not need. We pile “junk” that might be useful to another.

We have clothes in wardrobes all over. We hoard everything we own. Lace of '92, gele of '88.
Many even hoard love and praise.

They hoard affection. No one is deserving of love. No one is deserving of help. When they lose, one they love, they cry, because they hoarded words of affection and more.

Life is meant to be lived. That we will die is certain. The uncertainty is when and how. The wise one lives everyday as the last.

This is not to be read as encouraging wastrels. Or failing to save for tomorrow. Empty your barns regularly to the needy so you also can have new stock.

At the end, the only thing you take with you, is your soul. Nourish that."

Inspiring wasn't it? His update inspired this blog post. Let's learn to share, give and love. It takes nothing from us and gives us everything.

Throw away your hoarders mentality this second and keep winning!

Saturday, 3 March 2018

March On To Your Goals

March on to your goals

It is a New month. It's the month of March. It's a period when you've got to ask yourself where exactly you're marching on to. Would you march on to your goals this month or would you rather fall back to your comfort zone? It's a question you should answer yourself.

It's already two months away this year, how time flies! We celebrated the New Year just like yesterday and we all made our plans and resolutions not long ago. But hey, it's already March, the third month of the year!

If you've been reading this blog, I believe it would be pointless to start reminding you of how important your time is as a factor of success. Time as you already know doesn't wait for nobody.

Whether you lie in bed all day or you go out every day and work towards what you want, time doesn't give a shit. Time is always on time and it doesn't stop for anyone. So the ball has always been in your court as regards the way you manage this time.

Today is the third day of March, thirty one days in January plus twenty eight days in February gives us fifty nine days.. Add three days to that and you got sixty two(62) days gone.

62 days gone like a flash. Ask yourself how closer you are to where you have always wanted to be after these days. If you don't have anywhere you want to be, well, that's fine, you can as well waste the remaining 303 days left. You shouldn't even be reading this blog.

But as a reader of this blog, I can bet that you want to be somewhere. I can bet that you're different from the rest of them out there who are so comfortable being stuck in their comfort zone. You have a vision and, a target and a big dream for yourself.

That's why it's important you ask yourself exactly what progress you have made so far. Maybe you've really been trying your best and working hard towards the goals you've set for yourself this year and you're not seeing results.

I want you to not worry and do not despair. For the fact that you were able to discipline yourself to work on those goals within these 62 days, you're already making progress. Whether you've seen results or not doesn't really matter for now.

You've already made progress because you worked towards those goals you set out in the beginning of the year.

What you should do right now is to go back to the drawing table and find out exactly what is wrong. Why aren't you making progress? Try to think about how you've been going about your efforts. Just take some time to think about approaching those goals through a better strategy.

Believe me, if you give some thought to it, you will definitely get some brilliant ideas and you may figure out where you're going wrong. What you need right now is to re-strategize your methods.

If you really care about those goals, you must not give up on them or relent because it appears you've not made progress. As I said, you've made progress by at least trying it.

There are many who haven't even tried. They're not even aware that they could experience what you're experiencing right now, they're still in the dark.

You're already steps ahead of them because in the process of this experience you're getting right now, you'll discover the best way to go about those goals. And you're already closer to success. But for those who haven't tried, they are still ignorant.

So be glad my friend, every disappointment is indeed a blessing in disguise because you get a chance to learn something and be better than you were.

If you're a religious person, you should also try to strengthen your relationship with your creator. Pray often and perform your acts of charity to the less privileged.

I personally don't really like to attribute challenges or setbacks to spiritual causes because I believe that despite our beliefs, we still have our individual roles to play as human beings. However, there are certain things beyond our control of which faith and devotion brings us solace.

That doesn't change the fact that as human beings we shouldn't try our own best. My problem with some people who pretend to be too religious is that they often attribute everything to spiritual causes rather than look critically at it to make changes.

They don't like to accept any responsibility, they depend on their beliefs or creator to do everything for them. I don't believe that is a true way to be devoted. You should be devoted, but you must not neglect the part you must play.

So, when all seems not to be working fine, by all means pray harder, but ensure that while praying, you also think deeply about the problems you're facing and try your best to work on them. Don't go and relax, then expect God to do everything for you.

If you've made some consistent progress within these days, congratulations, keep it up. Making progress alone is already enough motivation to keep up with what you're doing. Just keep on keeping on.

Some may have forgotten their New Year resolutions and plans. They're over with the euphoria of the New Year. They've dropped everything and now they're back to the same person they were. I don't wish this for anyone of you reading this article.

Positive change is something that must be constant in our lives as bold winners. At every moment, we must be changing to better humans. Every time we stop changing to become better, we become stagnant. And whatever remains stagnant dies and becomes stale.

A river that doesn't flow, stinks a lot because it remains the same. A river that flows is constantly fresh and alive. The movement of the river is what washes away those things that could make it stale.

So, just like the river, we must be constantly flowing and changing positively. Every time we decide to relax and go back to the way we had been in the past, we're standing the risk of being stagnant and stale.

Therefore, if you've not been working on those goals you set for yourself at the year's beginning, you better start this second to do something different towards it's achievement if you care about any progress this year. If you've forgot them, better find the book you wrote them down on and be conscious of them once again.

This is the month of March and this is a reminder to you to march on to your goals.

Believe me it's all about marching on, it's all about constantly flowing like a river, it's about movement. Life is all about movement.

And what are you moving towards? You're moving towards your dreams. Your moving towards where you desire to be. You're moving towards prosperity, achievement, love, joy, goodness and happiness.

I wish you the best of the month. Keep marching, keep moving and never stop winning!

Wednesday, 28 February 2018

Learn To See Beyond Money

learn to see beyond Money

Our world today seems crazed about money. When you ask the average person what he or she wants, you're certain to hear the word "money" in 90% of the responses you get. We've become so obsessed with getting so much money that very few people can see beyond it these days.

It's understandable why people seem to be so crazed about the cash. With so much money at your disposal, you can get anything you want, you can travel to places, you can buy any stuff, you can live big the way you want. So, money seems to be everything, right?

Well, in this article, I will try to make you see reasons why money isn't everything and why you should learn to see beyond money if you want to make sustainable progress in your life.

Money is very important and we really need it in our lives. I totally agree. I also need money and more money as well. However, I am not willing to sacrifice my ultimate happiness, fulfilment, peace of mind and strong relationships for the sake of money.

There was a story of a trader in a market who was fond of cheating anyone who came to his shop to buy things. For instance, if you wanted to buy something sold for 10 bucks, he would sell it to you at 100 bucks and he would go home happy.

Another trader who was just beside him was selling those things at a normal rate and each time after his neighbor cheated any buyer, he would turn to this other trader and tell him, "You see, you're not as wise as I am, I'm making money." The other trader would just ignore him and continue selling as normal.

What the first trader didn't know was that each time the customers he had cheated discovered the normal price of the goods they bought from him, they would vow never to come to his shop again. And they even went on to tell their friends who were bulk buyers to stop buying from the cheat.

By and by, this cheating trader kept losing customers and he started depending on just the money he had gotten from cheating. But the other trader's customers kept growing steadily. Even though he wasn't dishonest to charge exorbitantly, he was still making great profit as he sold off large quantities of his goods.

Months later after making serious losses, the cheating trader quit his business. He had failed because he failed to see beyond the money he was getting through cheating.

This example only touched on building trust as a valuable quality that is more important than money. When people trust you, money won't be a problem.

Now there are people who have a passion for something. This passion is what makes them feel alive and brings out that sparkle that shines through their eyes. They love it. It could be music, working on numbers, talking, playing football or other sports, cooking, writing, managing projects, engineering, teaching and etcetera.

It could be anything, but what makes it your passion is that you love to do this always. You could do it all day and you could never get tired of it. It comes naturally to you and you just connect to your higher self through it.

Now for these passionate people, there comes a time when it will look as if their passion isn't making money for them. Now, this passion makes them happy, but they start to expect money from it and if they aren't seeing any money, they get discouraged and they may consider quitting their passion to do something that makes money.

I don't know if you're one of them or if you've ever been in that state of mind, well here's what I think:
Finding yourself in this state of mind means that you're now thinking just in monetary ways. You're no more thinking beyond the money.

Why do you want money in the first place if not to be happy? Happiness is the true goal if you think about it because all the money we seek is just to enable us do or get things that will make us happy. So the big question is: If living your passion makes you genuinely happy, must you really have to be making money from it before you can happy?

Get me right, I'm not saying you cannot and should not make money from your passion. Of course you have to pay your bills and sort out stuff. My point is that it's not a MUST you make money from it and it's not a wise thing to drop your passion because it doesn't make money for you. Your passion makes you happy, so it shouldn't be dropped for any reason.

If you've really got to pay your  bills, try to make money from your passion, if it's not working, as it may not work sometimes, try to do something else or learn a skill that can help you pay your bills, but don't ever drop the passion because you can't pay bills with it. Keep the passion because its value to your general well-being is way beyond money.

You can merge the two.. You can make money doing what you love. If you can do it, that's the best. But sometimes, you may not be able to do it easily. Its not worth it sacrificing that passion because of this reason. Because if you had thought beyond Money, you will see that passion brings you happiness.

This example touched on thinking beyond money when it comes to your passion.

There are cases of people who have betrayed their friends, close networks and even family because of money. The thing these people fail to see is that whatever money they get from such betrayal will still finish and someday they will need to fall back on family and friends for support in some way.

When it comes to love, many of us face a similar
dilemma. He or she may love you genuinely, he or she may care about you so much and really desire your own good. But presently, the person may not have the money to do certain things for you that you may expect. Then you quit, you leave them because they seem to have nothing.

You then go for people who may not want or cherish you as much but they have the cash and you're fine with settling with them. This is called gold digging. You finally settle with them and you get so much money from him or her, but then as time goes on you start searching for something more, you start desiring genuine love and care because you've seen that the person never really cared as much.

The best and most desirable case is to find someone who really loves you and also has the cash(if you desire it). But often times it's not always the case. Would it be wiser in such a case to ditch someone who has demonstrated genuine love and care towards you for someone who may care less, but has got the cash? Up to you!

I've seen people who only treat rich people with respect and courtesy, but they are quick to insult and disrespect those who they believe don't have as much money as the wealthy.

What those people forget is that the table could turn at any time and the same people they treated disrespectfully today may be their bosses tomorrow. They can't think beyond the money.

I could say many more things to show you that money isn't everything and we should all learn to see beyond it, but I'll conclude with this:

Money is very important, but it's not everything. We sacrifice many things on the altar of money, but at the end of the day we find out that there are more things that are of greater value than this money.

Chase your money, but just remember that it's not everything. Your happiness, your well-being, your sense of fulfilment and general peace are of greater importance.

There are things that are not worth sacrificing for money. If you understand this you will see that money is everywhere, and it's not the true goal.

See beyond the money and keep winning! Some things aren't worth sacrificing or risking for money's sake. Stay sharp, the sky is the limit.


Tuesday, 27 February 2018

Keep Showing Yourself

keep showing yourself like this Sun

In our world today, many shy away from showing themselves, their skills, natural inclinations and their talents because they don't want to be seen as proud or arrogant. They don't want people to stop liking them, so they hide the unique gifts they have and never give it a chance to shine.

I have personally been there and I felt I was actually doing the right thing. Nobody really told me to keep showing myself to the world. So growing up I often kept to myself and never really took advantage of the opportunities to showcase my talents and abilities. The good news is that I learnt my lesson the hard way and changed this weakness on time.

Our world is controlled by people who aren't shy or afraid of demonstrating what they are capable of handling and doing. These people always show themselves in everything they do. They have become so consistent at doing this that their whole essence becomes identified with their art. And the more they show themselves, their ideas, their talents to the world, the better they get.

That's why it's important you should also show yourself to the world out there. It's important you show off your talents, abilities and skills. That's what will get you noticed, that's what will attract to you the right kind of people you need in your life.

It was during a session on the writing of an effective resume with a group of other young people that my eyes were further opened to the reality of showing oneself. You need to see the content of some resumes. You need to see how everyone was demonstrating what they have achieved, how they achieved it and the awards and results they got. They were literally tooting their horns.

If you have always been afraid of showing yourself because of how others may perceive you, how will you toot your own horn when the occasion demands it? How will you gather experiences and link up with like minded people if no one knows what you're capable of doing? You must show yourself.

It's more like the biblical injunction of being a light unto the world. No one lights up a candle and hides it under the bed. A candle is lit to provide light that dispels darkness and allows us to see clearly. A hidden candle has no use to us.

You are that candle. The light you carry comes in the form of your talents, your abilities, your gifts, your passions and whatever it is that you have been blessed with knowing how to do. This light must never be hidden because it is expected that you light up our world using that light.

If you're complaining of what people may say when you are showing yourself, how will you ever grow and develop? You should remember that you're on this world for a mission. The mission is to bring out that light in you and inspire others to do the same. We don't necessarily have to shine this light in the same way, everyone has a different and distinct way to shine theirs because we are not meant to do the same things. 

Therefore, it would be really pointless and as a matter of fact stupid to sweep your light under the carpet because someone else feels intimidated by your light or will dislike you if you keep on shining.

Initially, some people will naturally get jealous of you when you're shining that light, but when you keep on shining that light, they will eventually get used to it and will be very much inspired to shine theirs as well. But if you let their jealousy stop you from shining, you simply become like them and instead of inspiring them to shine their own light, you inspire them to remaining the same.

Sometimes we tend to hide behind the cloak of humility and we erroneously feel that showing off what we have been blessed with looks like pride. But just take a look around you. Think of every highly successful man or woman you have ever known. You'll find out that these set of people are always showing themselves. They never stop.

They always turn up and they always do what they know how to do best irrespective of whose ox is gored.

You might be the best in mathematics in your class, keep showing yourself. Solve as much problems as you can and never shy away from solving mathematical problems. There's a reason you're gifted with such a great numerical ability. Therefore continue expressing it regardless of who feels envious.

You might be the best dancer or stuntman in a group, keep on showing yourself. That's what will get you noticed and earn you more opportunities to develop your art.

You might be very good at talking and expressing your ideas very well. You might be very good in winning any arguments. Others may envy you for this, but you must never stop showing this talent.

You could be blessed in a sport, you might be the best footballer in your school team, don't stop playing the sport. Keep showing up for tournaments. Keep shining.

Maybe it's comedy. You're good at making people laugh and you can change people's mood easily from sadness to happiness with your jokes, never stop showing this gift.

You might be fond of answering or asking questions in class, and naturally other students will say you're just showing yourself because they're jealous.
You shouldn't mind them, keep showing yourself.

I could give many more examples, but I'll conclude with this:

There's a whole lot of good reasons why you should keep showing yourself. Here's four of them:

1. You get better in what you do.

2. You build your self confidence.

3. You increase the chances of success through the networks it will help you build.

4. You gain more attention. And you know that having more attention is desirable for your success.

Being humble doesn't mean that you should hide your talents. Humility is all about respecting other people no matter their class and treating them fairly. It doesn't mean you should be afraid to shine your light and show yourself.

Keep showing yourself and expressing who you are.

Let them call it pride, it's their business.

Show yourself regardless.

The sky is the limit for you bold winner.

Stay sharp as always and never stop winning!

Wednesday, 21 February 2018

Afraid To Go Alone?

Afraid to go alone?

We live in a world where many people are too afraid to go alone sometimes. They always want to please the majority, they always to be with the majority and they are afraid to go their own path when they really have to. This has kept many of them from being successful.

How willing are you to go alone at some point in your life? How badly do you really want to stand out or leave your mark on the world?

Are you willing to sacrifice your highest aspirations just so you can go along with other people always? These are really important questions to ask yourself.

There are some people who have awesome dreams and visions of exactly what they want to do with their lives. You see their eyes glitter with excitement anytime they talk about it, but when you ask them why they aren't pursuing it yet, you may hear stuff like: "My parents don't want me to do it," "People say I won't make money from it," or even "It's not so popular."

There are many more answers like that from people who may have been blessed with wonderful gifts and ideas. Yet, they don't let those gifts blossom because they're afraid that the path isn't popular.

Now there's something you have to know: your parents or any other close person you have in your life is only there to guide you. Their role is limited to guidance and not making decisions for you.

The only one who is qualified enough to take decisions for you as long as you know the difference between right and wrong is YOURSELF.

You are so unique and you are not like anyone else. You are the only version of you in this world. And out of over 7 billion people on this planet, no one else thinks the same way as you do. And no one will ever do so till eternity. If you understand this, you should know that your strongest feelings and inclinations should not be toyed with for any reason.

If you were naturally born with certain gifts, let's say you can draw very well or you can sing, or you're good in setting things apart and building them up, whatever it is, learn to nurture it. Whatever natural talents you have, you should nurture and grow it.

A lot of times, I hear people complain that they want to do something else asides what they are naturally good in because others say there's no money in it.

It's not always about the money. That's the mistake many people make. They sacrifice their ultimate fulfillment and happiness on the alter of money. They could've been superstars, they could have been famous and extremely wealthy if they followed their talents and perfected it irrespective of what people said, but they drop it and start pursuing money.

Money will come naturally to you as long as you're passionately doing something that has the capacity to add some value to people's lives. It will definitely come. Keep this at the back of your mind. However, it is not the goal!

It's when you make money the goal that you become frustrated and unhappy when you seem not to be getting enough of it.

The real goal is to develop yourself and your capacities to the highest possible extent. You do this so selflessly and passionately that whatever you are doing becomes second nature. You become lost in your art, that's when it becomes magical and you see the kind of respect your art will command.

So when you are afraid of going that path that looks lonely because people have said there's no money in it, you will end up following those people to pursue the same things they pursue and you may never reach your highest potential.

You may have been discouraged and deceived into following the crowd because you heard  that what you want to do isn't so popular. The question you should ask yourself is: Who made all the popular paths popular? They are people like you and me who went their own paths just as they were inspired from the inside.

You may be the one destined to make that path popular in your environment. A new and lonely path might just hold the potential to set you apart and set you on a road to financial freedom. But you think "It's not popular. How many people want to do it?" And the reasoning becomes.. "Since other people aren't doing it or thinking about it, then it's not good." Right?

Let me let you in on a secret: You'll hardly find anything in a place where people are crowded. Even if you stand a chance to find something, you'll have to fight off fierce competition. There are people that are already there before you and more people are rush into it. It becomes difficult.

But when you're able to see potential in a field where very few people are playing, you stand a very high chance in becoming very successful if you go that path. In other words, less is more.

If you're always following the crowd, you will miss many things. I don't mean that you should always try to stand out and be on your own.

Sometimes, you have to go with the crowd, sometimes the crowd is right. But what I'm saying is that even though you blend in with the crowd when it's necessary, you must never be afraid to go alone when it's also necessary.

When it comes to success, you have to be extremely ready to go alone. Many people don't want to be as successful as you want to be. Some people just want to live average lives; get educated, get a job, get married, have kids and die. But I guess you want something more than that.

And if you really want it badly, you have to understand that you will do things that many average people won't do. Of course, when you are doing those things many people won't be with you, because many people don't share the same vision. Only very few like minded people (if any) will stick with you on that path. So you should be definitely willing to go alone.

There's no looking back. There's no expecting loved ones or family to support you or hold your hands as you're going. If they're ready to support this burning desire in you, then it's fine, or else you go alone!

Don't say because people aren't there to support you or encourage you, you won't go ahead with it. If you do so, you will be the one who lost.

You'll find out that when you are convinced to go alone even without support and you finally become very successful in that thing, those same people who never supported your idea will be forced to celebrate with you. Your parents who may have disagreed with your idea will commend you for going your own way.

Your friends who were skeptical about your idea will tell your story and the people who discouraged you will sing your own praise. At this point, there won't be any need to harbor hatred for them in your heart.

You'll forgive them very easily because the joy, contentment and fulfilment you've found from going your own way will be too large to even accommodate any hate.

Be willing to go alone if need be and keep on winning! Let walk together on the path to success!

- Nigel Ikechukwu ©2018

Saturday, 17 February 2018

Live Above The Division

Live above divisions

In today's world, lots of people are increasingly finding it difficult to live above the various forms of division which surrounds their lives. They find it difficult to think beyond where they come from or their religious preferences and this hinders them from a lot of things.

For one to actually be able to live comfortably and survive in a rapidly changing world, one must learn to be tolerant and to love other people irrespective of where those people come from or their peculiar sets of beliefs.

If only a man could learn to think beyond the confines of his own beliefs or roots, he would discover many ways of working in harmony with his fellow man.

Being tolerant of others and loving them doesn't mean you agree with everything they say or behave like them. It means being open minded enough to see things from their own point of view.

This will help you better understand the motives of these people and subsequently know how best to work with them.

Sadly, it appears many people have a mindset fixed on the contrary. They cannot think beyond the divisions they find themselves.

You come from a particular place, so everyone from another place is always wrong. You believe in a religion, so every other person who believes in another religion is an idiot.

They share the opinion that where they come from and whatever they believe in is far superior to those of other people.

Naturally, this attitude will definitely create conflict when working with people. There's no way that you'll feel superior about yourself that it won't rub off on others.

Your actions and your attitude will always reflect that sense of superiority. You will find out that you will always want to downplay other systems of beliefs different from yours and you will treat people who don't share the same origin with you unfairly.

If we cannot live above the division and learn to respect one another, then we cannot live in peace. At some point, those who are offended will feel the need to retaliate and the cycle continues that way.

A popular Nigerian singer, Hadiza Blell, better known by her stage name Di'Ja, was recently attacked with a statement mocking her Hausa origin and here was her reply on Instagram:
____________________

"I can understand the anger in the country. I can understand the disappointment most are feeling. I can understand the pain WE ALL feel when you just want things to work, but I cannot understand tribalism and insults in regards to personal life, personal religion and personal choice.

Most of us are born into what we now know. THIS ISN’T EVEN AN INSULT compared to the ones I get on the daily based on being Hausa, (you don’t want to see my DMs ) but it serves a purpose for today. I did not destroy our country. WE ALL DID BY ALLOWING IGNORANCE TO PREVAIL.

Tomorrow we will insult someone for being Yoruba; the next day on being Igbo; another day on being Idoma and so on. Keep in mind HORRIBLE/BAD POLITICIANS FEED AND THRIVE OFF A DIVIDED PEOPLE. We cannot expect the government to fix problems when we can’t fix US!

You want change?! Then it is time you begin to change your mindset. SURPRISE YOURSELVES and come together regardless of your differences. It is the only technique we haven’t tried yet. It is only then can we be the change we are looking for!

This is why MUSIC is my life because it surpasses all these man made divisions. Don’t be part of the system. Live above it and watch Nigeria become NIGERIA.

I will forever be proud of who I am, where I am from and what I am on my way to become and YOU SHOULD TOO. "

_____________________

The response was simply amazing coming from a musician who understood the indispensable value of living above mere divisions.

It's very important we understand this and try to put it into practice in relating with other people because ultimately we will find out that we are not so different from one another after all.

Many people miss out on wonderful opportunities to transform their lives simply because they were biased towards other people.

Let me ask you a question: Let's say you're believe in religion A and you're in deep trouble synonymous with a matter of life or death and you need urgent help.

Would you reject help from the first person that comes to you knowing he believes in religion B? Would you even think about the person's religion at that point in time? I bet it wouldn't even matter.

But every single day, most of us allow these things matter and keep us from the possibilities of building very good relationships with others.

Your success in life may not really come from only associating with people from your tribe, family or religion. You could be motivated and inspired to achieve much more simply by contact with someone who may be so different from you.

But we keep getting ourselves stuck in divisions and keep beating about the bush in our search for personal development.

Let's try to live above these divisions and work with other people. Let's drop the judgemental attitude and let's stop making assumptions about every other person who may be different from us by virtue of religion or origin.

I hope this pricks your mind positively. Stay sharp and keep winning!

Monday, 5 February 2018

Fast, Slow And Time

fast or slow time ?


When you want something to happen very fast, you'll find out that time immediately becomes too slow.

When you want something to last for a very long time or go very slowly, time will start running like Usain Bolt or a rocket.

When you understand this and you want to be smart by pretending you want something to be slow when you actually want it to be fast or vice versa, your subconscious mind that knows the real truth will not be deceived. You'll find yourself experiencing the slowness or speed you pretend to want instead of the opposite that you desire.

So what do you do? Stop expecting things to come too fast or too slow. Allow things to happen naturally while preparing yourself for however it chooses to come.

You're expecting an email or a text message? Forget about it and do other things you have to do. It will come when it will.

You want to be successful in life and then you go on worrying about what time or at what age it will happen? Why worry about it? If you're working on yourself and you're doing something useful with yourself, why waste your time thinking about when it will happen?

Success will happen when it will as long as you keep preparing yourself without worrying about it. Success doesn't need to be timed or even expected. It only needs you to be prepared for it and it will come running to you like a beautiful lady with open arms.

You're with someone you love and instead of enjoying the person's presence, you worry about how long they will stay? Why? The person's presence should not be missed. It should be enjoyed totally, every second.

When you worry and think about how long the person will stay, you will miss the person's company because you're body present and mind absent. Then you even further shorten the time you worry about. Being absent minded is as good as he or she is not there.

When you think about that email, text or visitor you're expecting, you'll not be doing anything useful but rather worry over nothing.

When you worry about when you will be successful, you'll miss the time you should be using to develop yourself.

I'm not saying that you should not be time conscious. Time is important, should be planned and managed, but what's the point of wasting that time thinking about when something will happen or how long it will take as long as we can't really control it?

Can you control success, the time your visitor or email will arrive, the time your loved one may stay? You can't. So there's no point worrying about the time involved in what you can't control.

You should only think about how quickly or how slowly you want things to be when it's completely under your control. Because then you can manipulate it to your desired outcome.

I want to drink my tea real fast, I drink it real fast. Under my control. You get the point?

You should only spend time thinking about what you need to be doing to get close to where you want to be. You should think about the steps you should take. You should think about the progress you've made and the way forward.

But you should not always be thinking about when random things will happen or how long they will take. It's usually pointless thinking because you can't do anything about it. Just let it.

Allow random things to happen the way they want to happen, but don't miss the important things or create unnecessary misery by thinking too much.

Don't worry, be happy and you won't miss much. Life's good. Life is beautiful.

#boldwinner 

Sunday, 4 February 2018

Cut The Fake Happiness Crap

cut fake happiness crap

With various happiness ideologies floating around the internet these days, an increasingly high number of people are beginning to accept crap as a norm in their lives.

They deceive themselves with a fake sense of happiness that they believe comes from knowing themselves and accepting all outcomes without resistance. It's high time we cut the crap.

I don't know why it appears that more and more people are buying into the concept of accepting whatever comes or just being happy with the unimaginable way they currently live.

It seems they are finding more reasons to remain in their comfort zones without having the tenacity to push through whatever obstacles or odds that may come to them during their pursuit of higher aims.

Think about it: Let's say you've been applying to get a job at a big firm. You keep trying and yet your application is usually rejected. Then someone comes to tell you that not being accepted into the job could be a good thing; it could mean you start up that business or you should consider working with another firm which you probably don't want to ever work for.

Then somehow you start buying into the idea. You stop making effort to pass through the necessary pain you need to pass through to get your desired job and you settle for a lesser job that seems more secure.

Or you go ahead to attempt starting a business you have no passion for which is likely to fail. And then you deceive yourself that you're happy not getting exactly what you wanted.

Or let's say you've been dating and you know exactly the kind of person you wish to have as a partner. And then you try to date people to find a compatible person, but so far you've not made much progress.

Then, someone comes to sell you a fake happiness crap. He or she tells you that you cannot find that person you really desire that you have to accept whoever comes and try to change them. Then you listen and you accept something below the standard you have set.

Maybe you're struggling and you're working hard trying to achieve success, then someone comes to tell you that you should have no desire and that you should be content with existence in order to be happy. Then you stop putting sufficient efforts to get to where you want your business to be and start being "content".

Or you've had dreams to make impact in your country or immediate community. It burns inside of you to see your society progress for good. However, people keep bombarding you with messages of how irredeemable your government is or how useless and corrupt your country is and how futile it is to even try to change it. And then you drop this strong drive and start living averagely without caring about your vision.

You may have failed many times at different things, instead of telling yourself the truth that indeed you've failed woefully and you really need to work very hard, You decide to buy into some crap that happiness doesn't come from trying to achieve things, it comes from within, then you settle into mediocrity and stop trying.

I believe you're already getting my point? I'm trying to say that a lot of people want life to be way too easy for them. They want to be happy in any way possible, but instead of working their way into that happiness by going for exactly those things they desire in their lives, they rather buy into ideologies that make them feel better and relaxed when they don't work.

True happiness comes from getting exactly what we want and seeing our dreams come to fruition. It's a trick to throw away those dreams into the trash can because you feel you've learnt something about where happiness comes from and who you are. You're only accepting those soothing posts because they make you feel better even though you know the truth that you've not been able to achieve exactly what you wanted.

This dangerous lukewarm attitude caused by that ideology is one of the reasons why most of our problems in the world today still linger. Many are tactfully dodging their responsibilities and the work they must do to be happy, instead they pretend that they're happy buying into all those philosophies about feeling good always. How can you feel good always?

Most of us don't care about what our neighbors are going through. We're so relaxed into our own happiness that we fail to see the challenges and threats we collectively face.

Whenever you're deceiving yourself with being happy all the time, you cannot see that children somewhere are suffering or that there are people that urgently need your help. You won't see that you have some serious work to do in this world to make it better for yourself and for others. You'll believe all is well.

But is everything really well? You read on the news every day about chaos here and there. There are endangered groups of people around the world, there are displaced persons, there is crime, there are genocides. There are many threats. But how on earth  can you ever see it when you keep pretending that you're always happy even without achieving your dreams?

Look, we're all here on earth for a reason. We all have a big role to play in helping mankind progress. It's not an easy deal to play that role. Because in playing that role, we will find ultimate happiness and help others find theirs.

Many people are looking up to you, most of which you're not even aware of. Some people are inspired by you,  your attitude and your zeal to achieve the best for yourself.

Why settle for less because of some crappy advice sold to you by one of these happiness peddlers? Why brake down on your drive and feign that you're happy and content?

Dude, look deep down into your heart, you will see the truth that the happiness you pretend to have out of contentment is false. You will see that those dreams you had are still burning within you and urging you to pass through the obstacles and pain you've been avoiding.

Listen to it and take up your weapons once again. When you man up and refuse to accept shit in the name of happiness, you'll be able to fearlessly face the challenges in your way and you'll achieve whatever you've dreamt of.

Then you will know happiness. You will also unknowingly inspire millions to follow your steps and still push for exactly what they want instead of buying into crappy advice.

We were born to work and contribute our quota to the advancement of the human race, let us not neglect or shy away from this collective responsibility because we prefer to take solace in crappy happiness. We would only be deceiving ourselves and things will get worse.

Be willing to go through the experience and continue passing through pain if needed to achieve exactly those things you've always wished for. Never throw those ideas away and pretend to be happy because you've not been able to achieve them. Man up to your pain and keep winning! 

Saturday, 20 January 2018

Be Good For No Reason

Be good for no reason

I think this world would be a lot better if we could all be good for  no reason. If we make it a point of duty to simply be good to other people and to our immediate environment.

If we could form the habit of doing good without any expectation and being good  to our community for no reason, there  would be dramatic change. But the big question lies in the definition of being good.

On what basis can we say for sure that the actions we intend to take is a good one? Is it culture? Is it morality? Is it the scriptures?

For the  purpose of this blog post, being good here means showing love to others and helping them out when you can. It means being able to connect with the feelings of other people and help them solve any of their problems in any little way you can.

Actions that can be classified as being good could be: buying food for someone without them asking, visiting the motherless babies and providing them with the gifts you can, giving to a beggar or a homeless person, volunteering to help organize something nice, showing care love and concern to another person without expectation from them, occasionally sacrificing your pleasures for the good of someone else and etcetera.

The question: "Can we be good through acting violently or offensively?" will be the topic for another day. But it's a great principle to be good for no reason. It helps you act out of love and relieves you from making too much expectations from others which could turn you into a beast.

Being good for a reason is dangerous because the goodness comes from the reason(in form of expectations) and not from the heart. You could change to a very angry person if you're doing good for an expectation and then the expectation is not met. It could change you into a very hateful person.

Take for example, you're working very hard in your office because you expect the boss to notice you. You're doing everything good, working late, volunteering to do odd jobs and all that. You're doing it with the expectation of being promoted and then you didn't get the promotion. Most likely you'll stop doing it and adopt a negative or laissez affair attitude at work since your reason for being good wasn't met.

Most marriages and love relationships have stood the test of time simply  because one or both partners is dedicated to being good for no reason. Yeah, sometimes we have expectations from our partner, but those expectations must never at any point be the reason why we choose to be good and loving to them. Whenever our expectations from our partner becomes the reason why we are good to them, the marriage or relationship will tend to crash easily once the reason isn't satisfied.

For some reason, your partner may not be able to meet up with your expectations. Is that enough reason to stop being good or loving to him or her? Think about it. Because if the expectation is the reason for the love, then it's no different from a business rather than love.

People will not always reciprocate your good towards them, still be good anyway for no reason.

People will still be rude or negative to you when you're being good, still be good anyway.

People will say you know nothing and you're wasting your time when you're good, be good anyway!

There may be nothing in it for you after being good. The people you do good to may not even appreciate it. But be good anyway.

Because being good for no reason is good for you. It's good for your peace of mind and your spirituality. Being good heals your soul and puts you in a progressive state of mind at all times. You'll feel a positive aura all around you when you're good.

Most especially, you'll make the world a better place when you're good.

Check out this video on kindness:


Be good and keep winning! 

Friday, 5 January 2018

Stop Hating On Other People's Success

Stop hating peoples success

I was inspired to write this article because of what I have been observing in my environment for a while now. Majority of people find it very easy to continue hating on the success of other people. I don't know why they like to do this, neither do I know what they stand to gain, but I know for sure that this is an attitude they must stop if they really want to succeed.

Today, I was checking out an online news forum where I learnt that a governor had just sent 30 listed shoemakers overseas to China to master and develop more skills in their craft. I was happy that the governor was able to take such an initiative as a contribution towards the empowerment of those youths and also motivate other youths to be diligent in whatever they do. But I was surprised to read one of the first comments on the news which said:

"I'm sure the list was politically induced..
How can this be a success when those with passion for shoe production are left out on the streets for some politically connected children of godfathers..?"

And I was taken aback. Why was this guy quick to claim that this was a politically induced list? Why was he quick to believe that those listed were the children of political godfathers? These questions raced around my mind. It wasn't just his comment, other people were expressing their doubts about how the governor came up with the list and the authenticity of the selection process.

In all these, there were fewer people who congratulated those selected and shared good remarks about the governor. So few! Majority were just criticizing what they were not sure about. They were just hating on the selected.

It's not just online, many people behave this way too in their daily lives. How many times have you heard people ask the question,"How did he make so much money so fast?" "Where do you think he got his money from?" Or say things like "He must've been involved in some shady business," "He might have been a ritualist," "He must be a fraudster," whenever they see a very rich young individual? I have personally heard it more times than I can count.

Or maybe there's a young hardworking lady who has made a First Class in her undergraduate studies and people are quick to say, "She must've been sleeping with her lecturers," or "She's been cheating her way through every exam." Even when a lady attains a high political or business position, most people will say "She must have slept her way into it." Why's that?

There's a young man who's so passionate about body building and fitness. He begins to build himself gradually and continually. Then he develops an attractive and healthy body structure and he keeps on building his body. People begin to say, "Don't mind him. He's jobless. All he does is gym, nothing else!"

A young girl is happily married to a young responsible guy and instead of being happy about the couple, you'll hear some people say "That girl has been wayward all her life, she doesn't deserve to be married to such a man." They say she has been a bad girl and the  marriage shouldn't have been successful.

I've been bothered about why people do this and I've come to three conclusions:

#1. They're simply jealous 
When you become really successful in what you do, be it in terms of more money, fame, recognition etc, people become naturally jealous because they don't have what you have. Now most of them will rather attribute negative things to your success rather than be motivated to work harder and achieve their own success.

 Are you jealous of the success of other people making you hate on them? Then you need to transmute that jealousy into motivation for yourself because saying negative things about successful people will keep success far from you and make you feel comfortable with where you are. A poor man who calls all rich people ritualists or thieves will never be rich because he believes riches are connected to negativity.

#2 Some are sadists
The second reason I figured out is that some of those people are just naturally sadists. Some people are so negative about everything good. These guys only think in the negative direction and hardly see any positives. Most of them became like that because they have been so frustrated in life and they have given up on any efforts at being successful.

They rest in their obscure position and each time they see anyone successful, it reminds them of all their failed attempts at success and reminds them of the life they could've been living if they hadn't quit. This hurts them and in order to feel better, they will always say something negative about other people's success. These people will hate you for being successful, no matter what! Why not have them hate you for being so happy and successful?

#3 Successful people remind them of their fears
The last reason is fear. People have their fears all bottled up inside of them. When they see successful people, their fears spring up. Will they ever be as rich as that man or woman? Will they be as successful as they are? Will they be able to save up enough money to build that kind of house? Will they ever become as famous as that guy? All these questions race through their mind.

They become scared that they may never be as progressive as you are and may never have what you have. It scares them. And some of them will choose the easy way out which is to hate your success. A person with a mind to succeed will not turn to hating on you because you're successful. Even though they're also reminded of their fears, they will be motivated to face it and keep trying!

If you fall into any of the three categories above, save yourself the stress and strive to make your own life better. Instead of being jealous and letting yourself remain stagnant, why not be genuinely happy for successful people and strive to become successful too?

I don't want to believe you're a sadist, but if you fall into #2, you need to understand that your past doesn't define you. You can still turn your whole life around with a single decision and action. Why choose to be sadistic?

We all have fears, but facing them and using them as our source of motivation has often proven better than letting those fears turn us into hateful people.

Because there's no point hating on successful people! There's no point whatsoever! You gain nothing by doing it, rather you lose because your hate for success will keep you in the same place.

Your hate can't change their success. Your hate won't get those things they have for you. Your hate won't add or subtract anything from the lives of these successful people, so why bother hating on people's successes?

The young man who made money quickly may have been lucky enough to get it right early in his business. There's no where it's written that making profit must be very slow. The beautiful girl who made a First Class may have worked very hard for it and burnt her midnight candle. The newly married young lady may not have been as bad as you've tagged her.

You should even ask yourself: Has everything you've ever achieved been through a negative way? Did you always cheat through everything? If No, why do you quickly attribute negative things to success? If Yes, then it's understandable why you think everyone is like you. Drop the hatred and negativity.

Rise above it and focus on your game! Start with telling yourself the truth about your position and where you want to be, then commit yourself to tirelessly working towards that place you want to be. When the time is right, you will hit your own success and you'll  be glad you did rather than join the haters.

If you're already successful, you shouldn't care about what haters are saying. I guess you know that already. If you can inspire or help others to be as successful as you are, please do. But never pay any attention to haters because if you're not careful, they will infect you with hate and bitterness and you will spend useful energy hating on those haters.

If this article makes sense to one person, my work has been done.

Don't hate the success of other people, be happy for them and keep winning! 

Wednesday, 3 January 2018

An Important Change You Must Make This New Year

Happy New Year

Happy New Year guys! It's that time of the year against when we kick off with fresh plans, resolutions and motives. While making these necessary preparations, there's an important change you should not forget to make. That's why I've made this blog post.

The previous year has been tough but good anyways. I consider it good not because it has been the very best year, but because against all odds, you and I still made it into this New Year. It's enough reason to be grateful and hope for the very best. As we hope for the best of the New Year, we must make a vital change  in our attitude.

A lot of us could've have achieved more last year if we waited less for other people. If we had taken more responsibilities and necessary actions by ourselves towards achieving our objectives, we could've been miles ahead of where we are right now.

How many times have  you waited for people to do something for you that you could've done for yourself? How many times have you waited to people to meet you instead of making the effort to meet them? How many times have you expected people to give you jobs instead of getting those jobs yourself or creating jobs? How many times have you studied on your own and prepared for an examination rather than depend on a colleague to cheat with?

How many times have you waited for someone else to love you instead of going out of your way to love someone? Have you made efforts to organise small parties or picnic with friends or family rather than wait to be invited to one?  Are you still waiting on your relative or friend to give you money or accommodation when you can take care of your own self?

I could go on and on to ask questions relating to waiting and depending on other people rather than yourself. The point really is to stir you to reflect upon the previous year and see those areas you've been too dependent on other people and seek to make serious changes this New Year.

You're never really free if you've not really mastered your own self. You should strive to be independent, so you can be creatively interdependent this year.

The more you make efforts to get things for yourself rather than wait and hope on a "saviour" to keep doing that for you, the better for you this year. The change you must make is to stop waiting on others and seize the initiative to get whatever you want.

If you seek to have fun, you should be able to create fun and not just wait or seek for where it has been created. Go out of your way and dare to live life with all its uncertainties. Don't wait for people to do it. If you can do it yourself, try your best and  you will be better of.

Sometimes, go out of your way to set up and suggest meetings with friends and loved ones. Sometimes, you actively search out the solution to what you face rather than hope on someone to just give you the answer. Try to make your own money and live in your own house. It will build your self confidence and arm you with a winner's mindset.

Think of building your own business, try to love other people without having too much expectations from them. Dance, work and play. Try to live your life by your own terms and quit sucking up to other people because you're so dependent on them for your most important needs.

This change in attitude is key to make the best out of this year. Stop waiting, stop depending and stop hoping on others while being inactive. You are much more than a person who merely waits. You are a winner and you need to discover this for yourself by consciously making committed efforts in getting those things you want for yourself by yourself.

When you make this commitment, you will be surprised at how much help and success will come your way this year as you strive to live free.

I wish you the best of the year.

Stay sharp and active!

Keep winning!

Sunday, 31 December 2017

Why You Should Still Make - And Keep - New Year Resolutions

Make amd Keep New Year Resolutions

We're back to that time of the year again when many people begin to make resolutions for the New Year. This period however has been marked by lots of circulating articles  discouraging some of these people from making those important resolutions on the grounds that they're overrated and hardly kept up with. I see something wrong with this one sided argument and that's why I'm here to give you a reason why you should still make and keep New Year resolutions.

First of all,  I'll like to give you all the standard meaning of a new year's resolution. This is because often times, the problem comes from the understanding of the term.

 According to Wikipedia:
"A New Year's resolution is a tradition, most common in the Western Hemisphere but also found in the Eastern Hemisphere, in which a person resolves to change an undesired trait or behavior, to accomplish a personal goal or otherwise improve their life."

Collins dictionary defines it as: 
"a promise to yourself or decision to do something,
especially to improve one's behaviour or lifestyle in some way, during the year ahead."

Cambridge dictionary sums it up:
"a promise that you make to yourself to start doing something good or stop doing something bad on the first day of the year."

The bottom line of these definitions is that a New Year resolution makes you intent, determined and conscious of doing something. Being intent on achievement anything as we all know is indispensable to being successful at it. Intentions go hand in hand with concrete plans and a soldier never goes into a battle field without any plans!

So those people telling you to scrap New Year resolutions are more like telling you to go into the New Year with no plans. You should go into it with no intentions for it. Just go in and take whatever comes your way. How does that sound? We all know he who fails to plan for just about anything is already planning to fail in that thing.

So New Year resolutions as we've seen from the definition helps us have a very conscious intent, goal or decision as regards what we plan to do with the next 365 days. What could be wrong with having one?

In the arguments by those who say we do away with the resolutions, they always want to drive a point by asking "How many times have you made a New Year resolution and kept it?" And then the logic behind it is: because you've not been able to keep up with some or all of those resolutions, why should you bother about creating one for this New Year?

Do you see anything wrong with that logic? Let me break it down for you. What they're saying in essence is similar to asking "Why should you keep trying to study and pass an important exam when you've failed it many times?" or "Why should you keep resolving to build up your new business when you've made a few losses at the initial stages?" That sounds more like a defeatist mentality.

 Here's another way to look at it: Since your good intentions and plans for yourself to develop your life and add value to others hasn't worked well so far, why bother having any intention at all? Why not fold your arms, relax, keep living life in the same average way and sleep? How inspiring does it sound to you?

Here, we believe that failure at any good venture should never be an excuse to quit. Because you were not able to achieve something, you should not totally scrap the idea of attempting it. So their first argument is debunked.

Another argument is that New Year resolutions are often unrealistic and unattainable. This isn't an issue because it's only an unrealistic person that will set an unrealistic goal for himself or herself. If you're honest with yourself, you will set goals that you know you can definitely achieve. You can't say you want to lose so much weight in few days or make 100 billion dollars in a day. You only set unrealistic goals when you're not honest with yourself. So that's not even a point.

Having dealt with the major arguments from those against making New Year resolutions, I will like to admit that indeed New Year resolutions aren't easy to keep up with. According to a statistic by U.S News, up to 80% of New Year resolutions fail by February. Surprised right? Well, I don't know how they got their statistics, but the good thing is that there are 20% of them that made it past that threshold.

This upcoming year, I want that percentage to increase to at least 50% and here are 5 things I think you should keep in mind as you make your resolutions for the New Year:

#1 Don't Complicate It
It's important to keep your resolutions simple. It's unnecessary to complicate things for yourself. It's better to narrow down your intentions to 3 things you really desire to achieve and achieve it than make a resolution of 100 things then end up achieving none.

#2 There's No Hurry 
Things that last often take some time and cumulative effort. If you try too hard to achieve your resolutions in the shortest possible time, you may end up stressing yourself out or even run out of patience and quit entirely. Just do something everyday that will take you closer to your goals and be patient with results.

#3 Remind Yourself Everyday 
Some people just write their resolutions down somewhere and after the 1st of January, they can't even find it again. Some just forget their resolutions as time goes on. If you're serious about this, you should write it down somewhere you can easily read it every single day. Remind yourself why you made that resolution in the first place and let that be your motivation with every step you take.

#4 If Possible, Keep It To Yourself 
Some people cannot keep their mouths shut. The whole world must not know about your New Year Resolutions. It was written by you and it's for you. Why should you go about telling everyone who cares to listen about it and then end up achieving nothing? Talking about your resolutions gives you a false feeling that you've already achieved them. This isn't good for you. The only exception should be with your significant other.

#5 Pray
Maybe you're among those contemplating on scrapping the whole New Year resolution of a thing because you've tried so many times and it don't seem to work. Maybe you've tried the 4 steps above and yet nothing. You might be missing the spiritual dimension to it which involves prayer. Whatever religion or spirituality you subscribe to, it's important you pray to your creator about your resolutions. This might just be the missing link.

I can tell you that New Year resolutions still work and I've been able to achieve most of the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year. I hope it works for you as we go into this New Year. I hope you keep these ideas in mind and make better resolutions. I wish you a Happy and Prosperous New Year!

Friday, 29 December 2017

The Quickest Way To Build Your Self Confidence

The shy squirrel

Self confidence is a quality that you cannot find lacking in any successful individual. Knowing the quickest way to build it is probably worth some value. You shouldn't be found acting shy or timid when your golden opportunity comes knocking just like the depicted squirrel above. And that's why I've decided to write this blog post.

Damn, I used to be  a really shy guy. I was shy to speak in public, I was shy to give a toast, shy to ask a girl out, shy to even look at other people squarely in the eye. This was a big issue for me because I lost many wonderful opportunities to develop myself as a result of lacking self confidence in certain situations. Even though I occasionally came tops in class, my teachers cared less because I was shy to take up some responsibilities.

No one really cared about how intelligent I was or how quickly I understood things. They cared about my demeanor and how well I carried myself. They weren't seeing good signs, so most of them avoided me and couldn't see any potentials except the few who came  closer and believed in me irrespective of my shamefaced nature. This is important to note: Your level of self confidence is what attracts you to people.

Being shy was almost destroying my life and my potentials until I took a very introspective and analytical look into my life and made a firm decision to build my self confidence for my own good. That led me to read a whole lot of books on the issue which subsequently helped me gain a better understanding of myself and what I needed to be doing.

Nevertheless, irrespective of what I came to learn and know from those  books, I was still not so confident. It was when I decided to constantly dare myself by trying out the things I was afraid to do that I noticed a sharp boost in my self confidence.

I had to push  myself into those situations I was not confident enough to take. I pushed myself to speak up at gatherings given the chance, I pushed myself to organize mini parties with friends even though I felt awkward as regards how best to behave. I pushed myself to try taking people out to lunch or dinner. I pushed myself to dance, start conversation with strangers, look people in the eye and speak to an audience.

And I noticed that with every push that I made, my confidence grew. I definitely felt awkward while pushing myself into those situations, but I did what I could anyways. Whether I did them well or not never mattered to me. What mattered was that I pushed myself to do them.  That was how my self confidence level rose sharply.

Every time I successfully pushed myself into a situation and I came out of it, I always felt an instant boost when I said to myself: "Nigel, you were able to this! Congrats! You have improved!"

It became fun daring myself repeatedly to do things I was scared of doing. And my confidence level increased with every attempt. It doesn't mean that I'm the most confident person in the world right now, because I still have my shy moments. Lol. Notwithstanding, there's a marked improvement in my personal life as a result of my sincerest efforts to dare the scary and the nerve racking.

I know it will work for you as well, because I've passed through it and I'm proof that trying to do those things you thought you couldn't do or that you were afraid of doing really boosts your confidence like magic! It doesn't mean you should dare everything, please don't attempt to fly off a cliff. Lol. The point is to dare yourself given certain opportunities.

There are many ways you can dare yourself. You just need to identify those things you're afraid of doing or facing and make a firm decision to keep trying them one by one. You will notice that the more you try them, the better you will get in those things and the more confident you will be. Self confidence has to also do with experience. The more experienced you are in doing anything, the more confident you are when called upon to do it.

But then, you have to start the process by pushing yourself into those scary and uncomfortable situations. The push is just what you need to start building your self confidence immediately. It will feel awkward, it will feel embarrassing, you will still feel shy or nervous.. But just overlook those scary feelings and keep being in those awkward situations and acting the way you can.

The awkward feelings are only trying to keep you trapped the same way, so that you will keep avoiding those scary situations. But you will never grow with avoidance. You will have to face it if you want to build that confidence. There is no quicker way than that push.

Working on your personal grooming and social skills are also worthy to mention. But they do not boost your confidence as quickly as daring those uncomfortable situations does.

I hope this article motivates you to break out of that reticent nature.

Stay confident and keep winning!

Wednesday, 27 December 2017

Experience Is The Only Real Teacher

Experience As Real Teacher
How far would a man go in life without experience? I'll leave the answer up to you. However, the times have taught us that experience is the only real teacher out there. Other teachers may give you just mere knowledge, but experience arms you with both knowledge and practice. Learning by experience has proven over and over again to be  the  best way to learn.

Before I become good at playing certain games like PES and Chess, I was a typically a fish in playing them. I was like the Jon Snow of the HBO series when it came to those games. Till I put myself into playing those games and letting the experience of playing them teach me, I was only wishing I could play them as well as those who were experts.

For PES, I knew the keys to press on the game pad. I knew the controls. But ultimately, I knew nothing about it because I had never played it. The first time I played it with the knowledge I had, I was trashed completely. Which confirmed that having knowledge about something never equates to knowing how to do it!

Same thing goes for Chess. I knew the movement of the pieces, I knew the names of pieces, I Googled some tactics and strategies. But then, it never translated to becoming an expert or a master. I was still beaten lots of times before I began to get a hang of the game.

Now this is very important to note: I had knowledge of these games, but I wasn't good in those games because experience had not taught me. When I let experience teach me, irrespective of the risks and the embarrassment that could be involved, that was when I became better in those games.

The only way to get better in anything is by passing through repetitive experience! There are no shortcuts. You can study all you want, go on YouTube and watch videos, you can listen to various how to audios, but if you never put yourself in the situation and let experience teach you, you're only wasting your precious time!

Experience will first humble you! You will make mistakes, you will embarrass yourself, you will feel like you know nothing, but it's all good, because that's exactly how experience wants you to feel. It will shatter all your lofty opinions about yourself and you'll be as humble as pie.

You know why experience does that first? It's because boastfulness isn't good for you. Some people boast too much about what they think they know and this often hinders them from learning anything new. Experience knows this and it shatters this arrogance beforehand. Many educated people are this arrogant because of what they think they know. However, they have very little experience.

Experience will push you to certain risks. Some of the very accomplished speakers today once felt shaky the first time they stood in front of an audience to speak. They faced risks of making a very terrible grammatical error, forgetting what they wanted to say and being ridiculed. Some made errors, some forgot their lines, some felt embarrassed, but guess what? They all became better at every subsequent speech and today, they're wonderful orators.

In learning how to drive a car or fly a plane, there are risks. You'll need assistance, but you will still be the one to drive or fly. It will be scary, you may crash, you may get injured, you might collide with other drivers or even obstacles, but nevertheless, you face all those risks, put yourself into repetitive experience and you finally become an experienced driver or pilot.

Everything worthwhile comes with a certain amount of risk. And the gains of being taught by the only true teacher(experience) is definitely worth the risks you will have to face. The most successful people in the world today are those who have passed through many experiences. They were taught by the best and they became the best. They were daring and bold enough to embrace the risks that experience came with and they were duly rewarded with success.

From building awesome technological systems to inventing the latest vaccine in the medical world, experience is indispensable.

Even asking a girl out requires you to have some experience and face some possible risks. She might turn you down, she might embarrass you, she might ignore you totally. But then you get better with whatever result you get and you become wiser for next time. You might end up figuring out that her turning you down might have been in disguise or that she really likes you but was only acting up. Or worse case scenario, you know for sure that she's not interested. Whatever the outcome, you win!

But if you don't try to pass through any experiences, and yet you claim to know something, when you'll eventually find yourself in a situation, you'll be shocked that you're a John Snow in the matter. Lol.

Life favors the experienced, the bold and the courageous. Experience is all you need. It will teach you everything you need to know. It will teach you what you can't find in books or on the internet. It teaches you by making you pass through the action and destroying your arrogance. It's simply the best teacher.

Get as much experiences as you can and keep winning!

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