6 Things You Can Give Which Cost Nothing

A few days back, I was having a little chit chat with some of my colleagues at work and one of them was all about how he wanted to make so much money so that he can give it to his loved ones to make them happy.

The way he kept laying emphasis on that made me suspect that he probably thought that giving those people money was the only way he could show that he cared about them.

Well, I had to commend his desire to make millions: it was a good thing, however, I kinda let him see other ways he could also show his care presently before he made those millions.

We live in a world where so many people are crazed about making money at all costs. Some of us think that money is everything. Money is definitely important and believe me, I also desire to have tons of it, but a life with lots of money without meaning, without purpose, without love would be quite boring.

Forgive me for digressing from the main topic. Here are the 6 other things you can give to people which cost you nothing just as I shared with my co-worker:

1. Time

Time is one of our most valuable assets. And that's why many people keep talking about their time being wasted and saying they don't have time. Time is really important and critical in today's world.

With a lot of time on our hands, we could accomplish more. But we humans have been designed to have a limited time to exist here on planet earth, so we want to make the best out of it.

This leads some of us to place all our time on our careers and businesses, forgetting to share and spend time with other people that matter to us.

How do you feel when you spend some time talking to a loving parent, close friend or someone who cares about you? Don't you feel great? Don't you feel happy being around them?

Of course I know your answers. We all love to spend time with people we cherish and if we spend less time with them, our fondness for them wanes without us even knowing it.

So taking some time off your "busy" schedule to meet your friends, loved ones, family or anybody else really means a lot to them. People who care about you are happy that you give them some of your time. You build and strengthen your relationships with your time.

None of us is really as busy as we claim to be sometimes, I believe that no matter how tight our schedules are, it's possible to squeeze out some time to spend with others.

2. Compliment Words

Your words matter. The things you say to other people matters a lot. Think of how this world would be if nobody talked to anybody. If there was no sound or language.

Would be quite weird right? Lol.. Well that's to show you how powerful words are. If saying to someone "You're an idiot." can transform that person from a meek lamb to a roaring lion, I bet you already got the point.

Learn to give complimentary words to people. See something good in them and say it to them. It doesn't cost a thing.

You see most of us find it very easy to see what's wrong with a person and we are quick to point it out and criticize them very quickly. Damn, some of us need an award or probably an Oscar for fault finding.

But that's not what we should always focus on. Lets learn to see something nice in other people and compliment them genuinely.

I'm yet to see anyone who doesn't love being complimented. Some people pretend like they didn't hear you, but then they go back home with your words in their hearts and they smile when they think about it.

So, you can make a difference in another person's life and show your affection by saying nice things to them when you notice it. You don't have to be a complainer who whines all the time about other people's faults.


3. Help

When was the last time you went out of your way to help someone without being asked? Can you really remember?

Say you're passing by and you notice your neighbor needs a hand to help start up his car, do you wait to be called? Do you offer to help? Or do you just mind your own business and move on?

Or let's say a loved one needs help with setting up stuff for a birthday celebration or naming ceremony, can you offer help to them?

There are many instances I could give here regarding helping people, however my point is just that you don't necessarily need money to help out.

You can offer help by volunteering to handle certain tasks or activities. You can teach them. You can help them in discharging their duties if you're less occupied. It doesn't have to be money.

I mean, who doesn't like to be helped out? It would be difficult for anyone to decline a helping hand when offered one.

People are going through a lot in life alone. Learning to offer a helping hand to them when you can do that is a lovely gift you can give to them.

4. Texting and Calls

Thank God for the internet. Today the world has become a global village and technology is rapidly turning everything upside down.

You can reach out to another person on the other side of the world just by the push of a button or a simple click.

Traditional call and texting rates have dropped ever since the use of the internet became mainstream.

These days you can chat with other people on social media for free with no data whatsoever.

Facebook Video calls, Whatsapp calls, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter.. Just name it. There's no reason not to keep in touch with those who you care about.

The thing is that many people are yet to take advantage of most of these opportunities created by the internet to get closer to people.

We are totally out for business and making money and can't even pick up our smart phones and just chat up people that matter to us.

A simple "hello" or "hi" could start off a wonderful conversation with a brother, sister, lover or a close friend.

You could get access to information that could even lead you to the money you've been pursuing all these years. Lol. But some of us can't even spare a few seconds to call or text people we cafe about even when calling and texting are almost free these days.

Why not place a call or text that person you care about and you've not spoken to all these while?

You think all they need is money from you? Haha

5. Support and Advice 

We all need good advice and support at some point in our lives. No man is an island. No matter how independent we may want to appear, we will still find out that at some point, we need to lean on someone so we can get back on our feet.

So how willing are you to support someone else or offer them good advice?

You don't need always money to support people. By giving out your fairly used phone to someone else who may need it, or by letting a friend who is yet to stand on his feet stay with you in your house if you can, you've really made a difference in their lives.

You can give away items you no longer need to other people. Why cover up space in your house with unwanted and unused items?

You can offer your advice to other people who you care about and help them better face whatever they are passing through.

6. Attention

How well do you pay attention to the people you claim to love?

Do you care to listen to them when they are saying something or are you just waiting for them to stop talking so you can say your mind?

Do you observe them? Do you notice the look in their eyes when they are down and need to say something to you or you don't even take notice of their disposition?

Do you notice their new hairstyle and the new haircuts? Do you notice their scars or injuries?

Do you notice their change in behavior and the unconscious body movements they make to hint that something is wrong?

Look here Mr, Mrs or Miss.. Paying great attention to people you care about is very important. People love to be noticed and heard even when they say nothing.

Some people don't know how to talk when they are really bothered about something. It will take your careful attention to know that such people aren't feeling okay.

Many words left unsaid are only understood by those who pay attention. You may not be close to them, but in their voices, responses or expressions during calls, you should be attentive enough to decipher those unsaid things.

Being able to pay attention has a lot to do with being emotionally intelligent. That would be topic for another good day.

So there you have it. You can give these 6 things and even more to people for free without spending nothing and it will go a long way in showing how much you care, love and appreciate them.

Keep these ideas in mind as you live your life and just keep winning!

Why Success At All Costs Is Bad Advice

Hi guys, it's been a while since the last time I wrote. I had some technical issues with my main device. I'm back and better.

Today I'm really inspired to share this blog post aimed to help you see reasons why pursing success at all costs is bad advice.

This blog has been about success and achievement. It's been targeted at helping people to live better lives by getting to know and understand themselves better, then make the best decisions in their lives.

It has been all about activity, action, motivation and inspiration.

However, I'll love to really point out that in all these our desires to be successful in life, to make a difference, to lead change, to become recognized and whatever kinds of great things we want to achieve, we should be wary of trying to achieve them at any costs.

There is a right way to pursue whatever things we desire. Those who claim that there is no right or wrong way are only trying to sweep the truth under the carpet.

If you want to pass a particular course excellently, you can choose to go the right way by studying that course and getting to know it or you can choose the wrong way by trying to cheat your way through it.

The thing is that both ways leads to seemingly the same results. But then, the person who passed through the right way will be able to correctly apply or defend his knowledge wherever he finds himself while the other person who cheated his way through it won't be able to do the same.

Some people who desire to become very wealthy may seek to deal in fake goods, engage in fraud, deny other people their due money or commit crimes just to get quick money.

Rather than pursue riches the right way by creating value, solving an identified problem or working to earn an honest living, some people choose to be corrupt and shady.

The thing is that such people who pursue success through any means tend to make certain deadly mistakes that could irreversibly affect their lives.

They don't enjoy whatever they have achieved because they live all their lives haunted by the things they didn't do right and stand the risk of being caught.

Cutting corners doesn't pay as much as going through the necessary stages necessary to achieve anything.

Your peace of mind, happiness, sense of purpose and fulfilment is more important than many of the things you may desire to achieve in life.

I understand that the desire to achieve success at any costs is greatly influenced by many things which we see and experience in our lives daily. Social media has also influenced it.

You log on to Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat and you find out that some of your friends are already where you want to be.

One of them posts a picture of a brand new house or car that he or she recently bought. The other one posts a picture of their wedding. You scroll down and you find out that another one just landed a highly paid job with a top multinational firm. You like the posts and drop a few comments.

But then, your mind comes in.. You begin to think about your own life and you start to compare yourself with them. You probably begin to think: "Why is my own case different?" "Why haven't I gotten married?" "Why haven't I gotten a job or why am I not successful in my own business?" "Why haven't I been able to own a car or a house?"

You begin to think deeply about these things and before you know it, you start considering some negative suggestions that might seem to get you those things quickly.

You begin to consider settling down with an abusive or cheating partner who doesn't love you because you are under pressure to get married.

You start thinking of illegally smuggling certain contraband goods or drugs into your area so you can make quick cash.

Negative things begin to flow in and you start thinking of doing things that are morally and reasonably wrong because you just want to be like those people who are in your age group who are seemingly living the dream.

Well, you're in luck, because I'm here to remind you that everyone's time isn't the same. As long as you're doing what you can do about your situation, you will be fine.

Keep applying to jobs, keep doing an honest business, keep searching for the right one for you, keep moving at your own pace.

The mere fact that other people your age possess or have accomplished the things you desire before you doesn't mean that you're a failure, so you shouldn't let such thoughts put you under pressure to make terrible mistakes.

Do what you can do. Move at your own pace. Form the habit of continuing to try. Be happy for those people who have what you desire and keep the hope alive for yours while being active in pursuing it.

You will get there. It is okay to be where you are right now because the future still holds a lot of possibilities for you. You never know what the next moment holds for you. One second, one action, one idea, one more application, one more date, one more effort can change everything.

So, don't let unnecessary pressure push you into trying to achieve your own success at any costs. It is okay to move slowly sometimes. It is okay to take your time. It is okay to be more careful in making your decision. Some people are successful at a very young age. Others make it at a later time.

The important thing is that you make an honest effort everyday towards those things you desire. Don't let yourself be pushed to go into things that would affect your peace of mind, purpose and happiness all for the sake of success.

I hope this article makes sense to at least one person.

The sky is the limit for you. Your time will come. Stay bold and keep winning! 

Develop A Culture Of Excellence

Many people are comfortable with being just okay or average. They don't want to go the extra mile. They just want to do things at the most basic acceptable level and be free to go back to their relaxation.

Many want to be just good enough and not stand out. Just make some observation around you. You will see that most people are just okay with the barest minimum.

However, reality continues to show us that it is only those who excel in their fields that are celebrated. The world celebrates and rewards only those who are exceptional in whatever they do. This is why it is important we develop a culture of excellence.

When I mention the names Pele, Messi or Christiano Ronaldo, it doesn't take you long to know that those guys are exceptional in the game of football. They've become so good at football that their names have become associated with exceptional football.

When I mention Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin or Donald Trump, you already know that they are exceptional leaders who have distinguished themselves through their style of leadership.

When you hear Michael Jordan, you already start thinking of basketball and how skillful the guy has been. When you hear Usain Bolt, you think of speed.

When you hear Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, you're already thinking of men who were exceptional in fighting for the things they believed in and injustices prevalent during their time.

The name Walt Disney trends till today in the world of cartoons because his creative cartoons were and are still legendary.

It's not just about the men.. there are excellent women too.

Serena Williams has been exceptional in the game of Tennis.

Michelle Obama, Angela Merkel and Ellen Johnson Sirleaf(the world's first elected female black president) were excellent in politics.

Oprah Winfrey(one of the most influential people in the media industry and one of the few female billionaires in the world), Beyonce, Taylor Swift were all excellent in Media and entertainment.

Maya Angelou was a legendary poet and award-winning author.


There is something common to all these famous people who I have mentioned and that thing is excellence! Excellence is what will practically distinguish you from the rest and earn you respect, recognition and the wealth you may seek.

You see, there are many people in the world who are doing these same things that these recognized people are doing. Some are still starting, some have been doing it for a long time and some have given up.

But how many of them are being excellent in what they are doing?

Excellence cannot be hidden. Once you are excellent in anything, people will always talk about you and recommend you to higher things without you knowing. They will come to you and even invite people to come as well without you paying for any advert.

The best advert is being excellent in whatever you do.

Developing a culture of this excellence is not easy. In a world of over 7 billion people, an alarmingly high percentage of them don't care about being excellent. They just want to survive and do the same thing others are doing.

Why do you think they won't get the same results those people get? When you do only what every other person around you does, how can you be different from them? You can't! You'll just be like them.

But when you do more than the rest and go through the risks and the pains many of them aren't willing to go through, you'll definitely get what they don't have. That's how it works. Your culture of excellence will always pay off.

If you'll take the time to go over the biography of some of these famous and successful people, you will find the culture of excellence embedded in their routines.

They worked harder, they tried harder, they trained harder, they acted more, they read more, they contested more, they practiced more, they disciplined themselves more and used their spare time to develop their abilities. They were more thoughtful and courageous. All for the sake of sharpening their excellence.

Their excellence finally singles them out from 7 billion people who may be trying the same things. If you want to sound religious, you can say it's God's blessings or grace that singles them out, I will also agree with you.

However, I believe that blessings and grace favor those who are excellent in what they do and not those who are lazy and reluctant to try.

So, to conclude this post, I want to enjoin you all to strive to maintain excellence in anything you do. Be the exceptional guy or girl. If everyone does it in a particular way, find a way to do yours in a better and improved way.

The desire to improve always is a mark of excellence.

Every one can stand up to give a speech. But the difference between a speech that genuinely connects with the audience or brings out emotions from them and a speech that people are bored to listen to is excellence in the delivery of that speech.

We all love excellence, but few of us are willing to go through what is needed to be excellent because we don't like stress. At the end of the day, we are no different from the average person.

Don't you love watching those inspiring personalities speak to you?

Don't you love watching Messi play or Beyonce sing?

Why do you love your best musicians, actors or celebrities? The answer is their excellence.

So, in truth we all love excellence in any form. However, many of you don't want to develop the culture of that excellence because it looks hard.

The truth is that developing excellence is not as hard as you think. If other humans who you admire could cultivate it, why can't you?
.
The problem is that we think too much about what we have to do, we worry about the hard work involved and we decide to just not go through it and just be average.

But we don't want to be average. It is our minds that trick us into thinking we want to be average so that we can avoid the "hard work" we have envisioned. But the reality is that deep down you also badly want to be excellent.

Therefore, shake off that mindset that makes you think being excellent is hard. It is not. What you need is only a willingness to try one thing at a time and you will see how things will go.

Before you know it, you become used to those steps and it becomes part of you. Then your excellence becomes as easy as pie because you are now used to it.

Develop a culture of excellence and keep winning!

Why Your Prayers May Look Like A Waste

Many people around the world today pray for a lot of things from God. For some of these people, their prayers are answered soon enough and for some others, God seems to have turned a blind eye to their pleas.

To the latter, they begin to think their prayers are a waste and sometimes they become frustrated and jump into the conclusion that God doesn't exist. This article seeks to explain why your prayers may look like a waste in case they seem to be unheard.

I'll begin with examples:

Meet Fred and Jerry: Fred is an undergraduate student in a reputable university studying accounting. And Jerry is a friend from the same school studying the same course.

Fred had been studying really hard to pass his upcoming final exams and he still makes out time to pray. Jerry wasn't really studying. He was always seen in the chapel praying to pass his exams. He hoped to pass the exam somehow by faith.

The exams came and Fred passed in flying colors. Jerry failed woefully and started blaming God.

Meet Jane and Julie:

Jane's husband has been seriously sick for days and she had been advised to treat her husband with some required medication and treatment. Jane bought the required medication, treated her husband as advertised and prayed for his speedy recovery.

Julie's husband on the other hand was also really sick. Julie was advised just like Jane on the treatment required to take care of her husband's illness. Julie thought of herself a strong devotee and believed she only had to pray. She did nothing else but pray.

In the end, Jane's husband recovered quickly. Julie's husband is now late. And she says it's God's will.

There are two countries; country A and country B.

Country A had serious issues. There was corruption, there was no lasting progress made in the country, everything seemed to go down the drain.

Citizens of country A actively went into politics and fought for the true democracy they wanted. Some of them who actively participated in transforming their country also prayed.

They made sacrifices and kept fighting for the country they wanted. It paid off and today Country A is a leading nation in the world.

Country B had similar issues. But they were just focused on praying about those issues. They expected God to magically transform those challenges for them.

They kept praying and allowed those challenges to grow stronger and stronger and yet claimed it was God's will.

Today country B is pretty messed up and is in serious external debt. Things have gotten so bad that it will actually need a miracle to turn things around.

The youths and majority of the learned population in country B don't even believe in the country. It has become a laughing stock on a global scale. Why? Because they prayed more rather than actively reprogram the country when they had the chance.

Some pray for good jobs, money and cars. But all they do is pray and keep praying. Many of them won't go out there and at least try the little they can in line with their prayers.

They stay in the same place, do the same things they have always done, then expect God to give them those things by virtue of just their prayer.

How will God bless you when you do nothing else but pray all day? What is He going to bless? What are the efforts you make that he will bless?

But you expect a magic from him.

There are multiple examples depicting how much most of us would rather pray instead of taking some actions to show our faith in the answer to our prayer.
But I will stop at these few.

Your prayers will look like a waste to you when you are not active, when you are not taking your shots, when you are not doing anything at all to create what you desire in prayer.

Nature has always tried to teach us that life is all about activity. It is activity that will create. It is your activity that God will bless to answer your prayers.

A house won't build itself. Water cannot drink itself. A car cannot appear and become yours. Businesses won't start by itself. Everything takes some time and comes through processes.

You are the one who will kick off those processes through the things you do, through the part you must play  and through your contribution.

It is your "kick off" that God blesses and through it, he gives you what you desire.

Therefore, learn to play your part in kicking off the avenues through which God can bless you, no matter how small they may be.

Go out and meet the people you're led to meet or ask for help. Apply to the dream jobs or opportunities you wish to have no matter how many times you may have been rejected in the past.

If you're inspired to start a small business, kick it off with whatever little fund you have been able to save and if you have no funds, look out for jobs you can do to raise money or ask friends and loved ones for small loans.

If you're sick or your loved one is sick, kindly take them to the hospital for medical treatment. There's a reason God blessed those doctors with their knowledge and expertise.

If you have exams, by all means, study well and prepare your best for it.

If you think your country has lost it in governance and politics, why not play a part in it's transformation in whatever way you deem fit?

You can start a political party, you can shape the minds of others using social media.. At least, you can vote for your desired candidate.

It is when you play that your part in achieving whatever you desire that your prayers to God stand a chance.

Your prayers are never a waste when you're doing your own best in your capacity.

It only looks like a waste when you aren't being active about it.

I think every genuine prayer is actually answered and the only thing that makes it look as if has not yet been answered is sin. Sin here means the failure to play your own active part as a human and do what you have to do.

Pray while also being active and keep winning.

Do It Irrespective Of Acceptance

Many people today care too much about being accepted by others at any cost. They give up on their values, their ambitions, their morality and even their own peace of mind just for acceptance.

It's a natural thing for a human being to desire to be accepted by other people. However, it must never be to the detriment of that individual. You cannot displease yourself or put yourself at a disadvantage because you want to be accepted.

A lot of people have given up on doing the positive things they are genuinely passionate about doing because they want to be accepted and they care about how others perceive what they are doing.

The secret that most winners know is that irrespective of whether people like what they do or not, as long as it is something good and they are passionate about doing it continuously; they care less about how people see it.

When you are convinced of exactly what you want to do and you know deep down in your conscience that it is a good thing, go ahead and do it irrespective of acceptance.

J.K.Rowlings, the writer of the famous Harry Potter novel said that twelve publishers rejected the manuscript! A year later she was given the green light by Barry Cunningham from Bloomsbury, who agreed to publish the book but insisted she must get a day job cause there was no money in children’s books.

What if she cared too much about the acceptance of the book that she quit her determination to get a publisher?

Legend has it that Colonel Sanders, the founder of KFC thought restaurant owners would love his fried chicken recipe and there would buy it and sales would increase. He drove around the country knocking on doors, sleeping in his car, wearing his white suit and asking people to buy it.

Do you know how many times people said no till he got one yes? 1009 times!

What if he cared too much about acceptance and decided to quit the business because he wasn't accepted?

Walt Disney was the man who gave life to Disney World and Mickey Mouse. History has it that during his first animation, his company went bankrupt.

He was fired by a news editor cause he lacked imagination. He was said to have been turned down 302 times before he got financing for creating Disney World.

If he cared about his rejections, would he have continued trying to get finance?

Michael Jordan, the renown basket baller once said:

"I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

If all these failures which may have led to his non acceptance by certain people deterred him from playing basketball, do you think would have ever heard about him?

Nelson Mandela was known for his indispensable role in fighting apartheid. It is said that at some point, the people closest to him tried to discourage him from fighting for what he believed in.

If he had listened to them and thrown his dream away because he wanted to be accepted by family and friends, who knows how far apartheid would have gone till date?

All these famous people I have mentioned cared more about their vision than acceptance.

They cared less about those who accepted or rejected them and focused on still making a genuine effort in line with what they are passionate about.

How many times they were rejected, how many people rejected them and who rejected them never mattered.

What mattered most was the dream..

Whether people like it now or not doesn't matter at all.

Whether they love it or hate it doesn't matter at all.

Whether they think it is a wise thing to do or not doesn't matter.

Whether they are willing to roll with you or not for the sake of that dream doesn't matter.

What really matters is that you do what you love to do and keep doing it irrespective of whatever they want to think.

Before you made up your mind to do anything, you must have weighed your options carefully. You must have thought it through. And even though you still keep an open mind, you still know exactly what you want. So just do it.

The people you should crave for their acceptance are people who share similar dreams and visions as you do.

They are the people who inspire you to keep performing your best, the people who are already making a difference in  the lives of others and the world at large.

The people you wish to be like and friends who see the potentials in your vision.

They are the ones you should even at least care about their acceptance. But even their own acceptance mustn't be at any cost as well.

Just keep doing what you're passionate about doing. Just keep working on the functions you're genuinely interested in. Just keep on keeping on.

Everybody doesn't have to accept you.. Because it's not everyone that will understand you no matter what you do.

You don't have to smoke or take hard drugs if it's not your thing just for acceptance sake.

You don't have to live in a promiscuous way just to be accepted.

You don't have to throw away your morals and your conscience because you want to be accepted.

If you must do away with the things that matter most to your heart and happiness all for the sake of acceptance, then the acceptance can as well go to hell.

The desire to be accepted isn't bad as long as it brings out the best in you and makes you perfect your abilities.

It's not bad as long as you don't sacrifice your heart and personal happiness.

But when you have to do away with the very essence of your humanity, throw whatever acceptance you seek into the thrash can.

Of what use is being accepted when you have to throw away everything that makes you happy and feel at ease? Is the ultimate aim of the acceptance you seek not to be happy?

So just keep doing what you're passionate about doing very well. Irrespective of how many people accept it or not. Just keep doing it.

It will definitely pay off in the end.

Be your true self, do it irrespective of acceptance and keep on winning.

The Definition Of A True Woman

Previously, I wrote an article on the definition of a true man. It would be fair enough to also write and article for the women who read this blog.

Women are beautiful, lovely and sensitive creatures way different from men in a lot of things both mentally and physically. They are special in their own way and also play very important roles in our society.

Just like in the case of the men, value systems seem to be changing for women too.

Most women seem to rate themselves these days based mainly on their looks. They spend so much time and money in ensuring they look very good, clean and posh. They can do anything to look attractive and get attention.

Some even go to the extent of almost going nude on social media just to feel good about themselves and get reassuring likes.

Painfully, most of these same women don't pay attention to what is inside of them. They often neglect the unseen qualities which make them who they truly are.

There are some women who boast about how many men they have been with and gotten money from. They boast of the things that their boyfriends buy or do for them and they define themselves by these things.

Some boast about how unrestrained they are in insulting men. Some of them have no shame when it comes to boasting about those things.

Well, here on the bold winner's blog, we think a woman is not authentically defined by those things which now appear commonplace and here's what we think:

A true woman is one who does not necessarily base her self esteem on her body. This doesn't mean she doesn't look good or take care of her looks, rather, she understands that her looks are just an added asset.

A true woman doesn't define herself by the number of men she has been able to sleep with and get cash in return from.

She doesn't sell herself that cheaply.

A true woman is hardworking, respectful, considerate, smart and dedicated to the role she has to play.

A true woman has a great sense of responsibility.

If she's married, she respects her husband well enough. This doesn't mean that she never offers her opinion. She does that when she has to, but does so in a respectful manner.

A true woman who is married genuinely loves her children and takes very good care of them. She can make sacrifices to ensure that her children are okay.

She doesn't always nag at her husband or put him onto undue pressure. A number of men have gone to their early graves because they married a bad woman who robbed them of their peace of mind and turned their children against them.

Instead of nagging, she tries to figure out what exactly is the problem and seeks for ways to help and support her husband.

A true woman is always real. She doesn't pretend except for a very good reason, and she has an understanding mind. She is tolerant and open minded. She is not abusive and is able to control her  tongue from getting too sharp.

She is willing to help and support those around her and she is very courteous. She is kind and if she's religious, she is devoted to God.

This kind of woman doesn't have time for nonsense. She always keeps herself occupied with things that add value to her. She listens to good advice and she develops her skills.

These kind of women can do various things to provide support to their families. They aren't lazy, they aren't spending all day on social media showing sensitive parts of their bodies to get likes.

They are busy working towards a good cause. They are the women that make things happen in the society. They are the women who understand that their real values lie in what they can contribute to the world.

True women have distinguished themselves in various fields. In science, arts, entertainment, politics, medicine, sports, just name it.

You can find bold winning women who are making a difference all over the world. From Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, Angela Merkel, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, to Serena Williams. There are many of them.

These are women making things happen. And if you're a woman, you can be like them too.

You're not a tool to be used by men just for sex, clubbing and night parties. You're not here to show us just your body and seduce men. The world doesn't really revolve around the size of your waist or your bust.

You're way more than that young lady. You've been designed to make a difference in this world where you find yourself.

Don't be afraid of accomplishing a lot. True men will be attracted to you and trust me, a union or relationship between a true man and a true woman is a match made in heaven.

By all means look good, clean and sweet. But never make the mistake of thinking that it is everything you're all about. There are many things within you waiting for discovery.

As a true woman, your diligence will make you unlock all those treasures within you and you'll be surprised at how your life will turn out and the impact you can make.

True women cannot be used and dumped because they are very smart. Before they even get that close to a guy, they must have known the kind of a man he is.

Some women are played around by men because such women think it is all about sex and money. They don't think beyond those two things.

They don't work on their characters, careers and inclinations. They don't think of making impact in their immediate surroundings. All they think about is a man who can give them money because of their body. How lower can a woman get?

Free yourself from such bondage if you're entangled by it. A true woman is unfettered by those things. She keeps aspiring for more and more. And she has a heart of gold which can be easily seen by true men.

Be a true woman, keep winning!

The Definition Of A True Man

In today's world, it seems as though the definition of a man is getting more debased day by day. Value systems seem to have changed and being a man appears to now be centered on ephemeral, distasteful and immoral behaviour. Here on this blog, you'll get the truth on the definition of a true man.

Yesterday, I got into an argument with a male colleague at work. Ordinarily, I try my best to avoid any form of arguments except when absolutely necessary. This was one of those exceptional days.

We were all having a wonderful discussion about things we need to know in making the right choice as regards a life partner for marriage and everyone of us was sharing their candid opinions and learning from those shared by others.

Then, the young man who was standing aside joined in and started saying that we were all talking nonsense. He continued by saying that only his opinion was valid because he had slept with so many different women to the extent he had lost count.

I didn't know whether he was saying this to feel good about himself because obviously, he wasn't really  a self confident man. I also thought maybe he was drunk, but he maintained that the opinion of other participants in the conversation didn't count because in his mind; he had slept with many women.

At first, I was grossly disappointed that a man like him who I had some level of respect for was boasting about sleeping around with different women even prostitutes. However, I kept quiet and decided to ignore. Hoping he would also keep quiet.

But the dude went on from boasting about his lascivious lifestyle to boasting about the number of drinks he could consume and the packets of cigarettes he could smoke at a sitting. And he further implied that as we were not smoking and drinking just like he did, we were not true men.

That struck the chord and I had to engage him on words toe to toe. I first told him that he was really annoying with his behavior and irritating attitude by implying that our opinions were wrong because we weren't living the same way as he did.

And I schooled him on the definition of a man:

A real man is not defined by the number of women he may have had sex with or by the number of drinks or cigarettes he can consume in a day.

A true man is not really defined by the way he looks.

Neither is he defined by the material possessions he may have amassed.

All those things barely scratch the surface.

A true man is defined by his attitude, his fearlessness in the pursuit of his goals, his courage in the face of impending danger and his resolve to stand by his words.

A real man has a great sense of responsibility and contributes as much as he can to the progress of his society. He is not lazy, he does not boast(because he knows himself) and he doesn't waste his time with unnecessary things.

He is focused and determined. A real man doesn't waste his time trying to get various women to lie with him. When he loves, he loves for real and he cherishes, provides for and protects his woman.

Chasing after different women is what makes most men lose their focus in life.

And these things are self evident. The men who have been relegated to the doldrums are those who are notorious for excessive womanizing and wayward lifestyles. The men who are high on the ranks are known to have been very focused and they're committed in their relationships and ambitions.

By their fruits, you shall know them.

A true man is hard working, focused and dedicated. Not a lazy man who thinks about girls all day.

A real man takes pride in his achievements related to making an impact in the society and distinguishing himself through diligence in his works.

A real man takes pride in that particular women who he has given his love to. He focuses his attention on her and her alone and constantly makes her feel like a woman.

A true man is a man who knows when to be angry and when to be calm. He knows when to apply force and when to be diplomatic. He knows himself, his abilities and where he wants to be.

He is a man who isn't afraid to stand for what he believes in and goes alone if need be.

He is a man respected by his peers and his society at large.

The Modern man defines a real man thus:

" A real man is a man with genuine self-confidence and true masculinity. He’s a man who knows his own mind and knows what he’s about in life, and he’s not afraid to stand up for what he believes in.

When a man has these qualities, he has a natural self-assuredness that makes him stand out head and shoulders above other men, and women feel an instinctive sexual attraction towards him because he has what it takes to protect her and provide for her, allowing her to relax into being a woman in the relationship.

A real man has the strength of character to be his own man in the world and to always be true to himself. If he takes part in any passing trends in society (e.g. fashion trends, social trends, etc) he does so because he is interested in it, not because he’s trying to hopefully impress people and get them to like him.

He focuses on being the best version of himself it’s possible to be by developing the characteristics that help him to go on improving and becoming a better man at each new stage in his life...  "

I'll love to add that a true man is not always a gentle man. He is gentle when he needs to be and also tough and firm when the situation calls for it.

A true man is simply total and very focused on making reasonable impact.

Basing the definition of a man on very little, ephemeral, crude or vulgar things isn't what any highly motivated and successful man should be doing.

A man is defined by his attitude and his diligent achievement in his society and his work.

Be a true man and keep winning!

Make Working Hard A Habit

There are many new ideas in the world nowadays that try to paint working hard as something unfashionable, difficult or very unnecessary.

You hear people say things like: work smart, not hard, it is not necessary to work hard if you are smart and other things like that which try to undermine working hard.

Here on The Bold Winner's Blog, you'll get the undiluted truth which is: Hard work is beautiful. And you should make working hard a habit.

If only you could pay a bit of attention to the people around you, you will find out that majority of them don't really want to work hard enough to get what they want.

They want it easy. They want to do very little and yet achieve tangible results. They make the mistake of calling this lazy attitude as smart work. But I'll try to explain what hard work really means.

Hard work is not really as hard as it looks. It only refers to your relentless efforts to work tirelessly towards the achievement of your goals and targets.

It involves doing your best at all times to keep improving in what you do. It involves putting your heart and mind to your work, such that your focus is as strong as a high beam laser destroying any obstacle along its path.

If you're really working hard, there's no way you won't be working smart as well except you don't understand what you're doing and then you think it's hard work.

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome in the name of hard work is stupid. Even Einstein wrote: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Repeating your procedures and exhausting needless physical energy on certain things without thinking is not hard work.

Maybe this is the kind of hard work some people are against by saying that smart work is better.

However, what I have just cited above is not even hard work in the first place. Because real hard work involves an application of deep thought and the desire to constantly change our processes in order to improve.

So hard work as defined above is beautiful. It always pays. And it pays right on time. It never owes you. It has never owed anyone.

Once you're working hard on anything, you must get your results. It is guaranteed. There is no gambling involved. Just etch this belief at the back of your mind: "Your results are guaranteed once you work hard to achieve them."

As long as you're constantly improving your methods and you're not being stupid by refusing to apply your cognitive and mental faculties, your results are assured. Trust me.

Sometimes, it may take a little time to see the results of your hard work, and it could come at a time you least expect it, one thing is certain, it must come!

Bold winners know this and that's why patience is a treasured virtue they all share.

Leo Tolstoy once said: "The two most powerful warriors are patience and time."

Joyce Meyer added: " Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting."

Saadi continued: "Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy."

Hard work is not just beautiful, it's sexy as well. It's turns you on to keep going and keep going. Because its results are so exciting and fulfilling, you just fall in love with it and it becomes you. It becomes your attitude.

Hard work is not hard. You don't have to see it as hard. It is just the key to everything you want in this world.

Look around you. Everything you see is as a result of someone's hard work and reasoning.

If those who built and invented most of the things in our world today wanted to just have it easy without work, we would not have made as much progress in human advancement as we have made today.

Every genuinely successful man or woman you see around you today is a product of hard work, however many of the upcoming generation tend to think that they do very little.

They fail to understand that it was all their accumulated efforts in working hard that led them to that seemingly easier position.

But the funny thing is that being in the position of those successful men and women is not even easy.

Put anyone who is not used to working hard in those enviable positions and you will see that they will fail woefully in the position they thought was easy.

And why do they fail? Such lofty positions involve lots of responsibilities, and someone who doesn't have enough experience in working hard cannot just take the heat. So they can't perform well.

Those successful men and women who you think that they just sit in an office, receive cool air from the air conditioner and press their laptops are already used to handling those responsibilities. And that's why they find it easy.

They find it easy because they are used to it. They have become associated with working hard on responsibilities that it has become like nothing to them.

A task you think is difficult and couldn't be easily handled can be taken care of by them in seconds. Then they have all day to themselves and can do anything else they like.

But to you on the outside who hasn't taken time to understand why they are where they are, you may think that they do nothing. What they actually do is serious, massive, tasking and very important. But they do it effortlessly.

Genuinely successful people aren't lazy. They are always active and on the move.

Think about the president of your country. He has lots of responsibilities and hard work on his shoulders alone. Even with delegation and help from various departments, the president has a lot of work to do.

In very progressive countries, their presidents are accomplished and disciplined hard workers who have demonstrated their ability to build things up and make it work. That's why those countries take their electoral processes very seriously.

They understand that a president must be hard working and not laid back. These countries build their systems on hard work and they make sure that it's only serious hard workers that get the best positions in the state.

That's why such countries stay progressive.

It shouldn't just be countries, companies, communities, families, groups and individuals should learn to value, emulate and encourage hard work.

It is only through hardwork and activity that we achieve anything meaningful. Those who look for shortcuts are lazy. And they rarely make any lasting progress.

Now, I have to tell you that working hard doesn't mean that you should overdo things or overwork yourself unnecessarily.

By all means, take a break when you really need to. Resting when you feel weak is good for your physical and mental health.

And remember, a person that works hard needs to think well during that process. To stay mentally sharp, you have to rest, so you can restore your exhausted physical and mental acuity.

So, just keep it in mind that hard work doesn't mean you kill yourself. Lol. You relax, have some alone time, hang out with your friends and just have fun.

But remember that the purpose is to relax, don't get carried away. As a success minded person, hard work is a way of life. So balance your relaxation time properly.

When you relax well as your body requires, you find out that your hard work actually accomplishes more.

Should be vice versa right? Haha. Well it can't be the other way round because relaxation calms your head which houses your mental ability. And that ability coupled with hard work accomplishes more.

If you decide not to ever rest because you're working hard, the law of diminishing returns begins to play out. You work more and more and you achieve less and less.

What's the point of working to achieve less?

As a matter of fact, when you decide not to rest at all,  it's no longer hard work. Hard work involves thought as well. And without relaxation thought processes are worse off.

So relax when you have to, after that continue working. There are few people willing to really work hard and that's the more reason you should since you care about standing out from the rest of them who want it easy.

Make working hard a habit, keep your mindset sharp and just keep winning!

The Hoarders Mentality

A lot of people have this tendency of hoarding things and always keeping unnecessary stuff to themselves. They find it difficult to let things they don't need anymore go. Rather than let someone else have it, they prefer to hoard it. This is what I call the hoarders mentality.

A hoarder is more like a miserly person. He or she believes that it will never be enough for them and will continue to save up unnecessary things. But this is a big trap and demonstrates a poor mindset.

Winners know and believe that they will never run dry. This doesn't mean that they waste their resources, rather they aren't afraid to let go of the things they no longer need. And indeed, they never run dry. Beliefs are incredibly powerful.

Many of the things some of us still keep with ourselves aren't needed anymore by us, yet we just leave them with us for no good reason. You go to some homes, you find a large box filled with old clothes that are no longer in use. Why not share?

You bought a new gadget and won't be needing the old one, why not give it away to someone else that may need it rather than pack it up in the basement?

Winners usually live like Spartans. They only use or keep exactly what they need. Whatever they don't need has no business with them. As a matter of fact, allowing yourself get attached to things you should have given away keeps you lagging behind.

Winners are bold people who keep looking forward to new and better things deserving of their attention and time. As a human being who is always moving and changing positively, it's important you don't let attachment to physical things hold you back.

By giving away everything you don't need, you make room for exactly what you need! When you keep hoarding things, you keep yourself from progressing. Our mindsets should be reflected in our surrounding.

A positive mindset aspiring for new experiences, should be matched with surroundings that are continually renewed. These surroundings give good feedback to your subconscious mind and strengthens your mindset to stay anew.

But a surrounding that stays the same always, will subconsciously keep you thinking the same way. How do you renew your surroundings? By taking away the things you don't need and make few changes whenever you can.

You see, when you're always making your surroundings new by taking away what you don't need, you subconsciously train your mind to keep improving every single day without even knowing it.

Your surroundings must reflect your mindset.

So learn to take stuff you don't need away. It distracts you. Share those things to neighbors, friends or less privileged people who may need them. You will strengthen your relationship with these people by doing so and more especially your mindset for success. A win-win situation!

We shouldn't be hoarding things unnecessarily.

Hoarding things doesn't just pertain to properties, you shouldn't hoard paying people nice compliments or using your words to make them feel better. You shouldn't hoard your care and affection.

Yeah, we know that there are people who won't appreciate it when you care, but still care for people anyway. You're doing it for yourself. You never know how far your words can go to change someone's mind.

Many have been saved from committing suicide and other dangerous acts because of a nice word somebody said to them.

So when you're moved to say something nice or comforting to someone, just say it. It doesn't take anything away from you. Paying that compliment or saying something nice doesn't make you lesser than that person. You just make your world a lil much better as you've made that person's world.

If we can learn to love, share and give freely without holding back, we will make room for these things to keep manifesting in our lives. We will see that our minds won't be cluttered by things of the past because we've not cluttered our world with hoarded things.

We will find it easier to accomplish our goals and we build strong networks with people around us. I'll end with this short update by my friend Shola:

"The Hoarders

An aunt of mine died recently. She was a widow. She also had no child. She died in her late 50s. She has been buried.

When the family went to clean up her property, they were amazed. She was a hoarder. The type you watch on American and British reality shows.

 She had stuff filling her apartments. Piles of new materials. Piles of expired food products. Piles of gifts and souvenirs dating 10 years.

6 television sets. 5 new freezers. 4 new generating sets. New gas cookers. Kerosine stoves of the 80s. All new. Expired vegetable oil.

Decaying bags of rice. And so forth. There was no sitting space in a 4 bedroom apartment. Littered with junk.

Plenty of stuff was thrown away. Many shared by family members who had no clue on how she lived. I am certain she has a decent amount in the bank.

She was prudent. Almost much too prudent.

 Bordering on...

Many of us are like her. We can’t give away stuff that we do not need. We pile “junk” that might be useful to another.

We have clothes in wardrobes all over. We hoard everything we own. Lace of '92, gele of '88.
Many even hoard love and praise.

They hoard affection. No one is deserving of love. No one is deserving of help. When they lose, one they love, they cry, because they hoarded words of affection and more.

Life is meant to be lived. That we will die is certain. The uncertainty is when and how. The wise one lives everyday as the last.

This is not to be read as encouraging wastrels. Or failing to save for tomorrow. Empty your barns regularly to the needy so you also can have new stock.

At the end, the only thing you take with you, is your soul. Nourish that."

Inspiring wasn't it? His update inspired this blog post. Let's learn to share, give and love. It takes nothing from us and gives us everything.

Throw away your hoarders mentality this second and keep winning!

March On To Your Goals

It is a New month. It's the month of March. It's a period when you've got to ask yourself where exactly you're marching on to. Would you march on to your goals this month or would you rather fall back to your comfort zone? It's a question you should answer yourself.

It's already two months away this year, how time flies! We celebrated the New Year just like yesterday and we all made our plans and resolutions not long ago. But hey, it's already March, the third month of the year!

If you've been reading this blog, I believe it would be pointless to start reminding you of how important your time is as a factor of success. Time as you already know doesn't wait for nobody.

Whether you lie in bed all day or you go out every day and work towards what you want, time doesn't give a shit. Time is always on time and it doesn't stop for anyone. So the ball has always been in your court as regards the way you manage this time.

Today is the third day of March, thirty one days in January plus twenty eight days in February gives us fifty nine days.. Add three days to that and you got sixty two(62) days gone.

62 days gone like a flash. Ask yourself how closer you are to where you have always wanted to be after these days. If you don't have anywhere you want to be, well, that's fine, you can as well waste the remaining 303 days left. You shouldn't even be reading this blog.

But as a reader of this blog, I can bet that you want to be somewhere. I can bet that you're different from the rest of them out there who are so comfortable being stuck in their comfort zone. You have a vision and, a target and a big dream for yourself.

That's why it's important you ask yourself exactly what progress you have made so far. Maybe you've really been trying your best and working hard towards the goals you've set for yourself this year and you're not seeing results.

I want you to not worry and do not despair. For the fact that you were able to discipline yourself to work on those goals within these 62 days, you're already making progress. Whether you've seen results or not doesn't really matter for now.

You've already made progress because you worked towards those goals you set out in the beginning of the year.

What you should do right now is to go back to the drawing table and find out exactly what is wrong. Why aren't you making progress? Try to think about how you've been going about your efforts. Just take some time to think about approaching those goals through a better strategy.

Believe me, if you give some thought to it, you will definitely get some brilliant ideas and you may figure out where you're going wrong. What you need right now is to re-strategize your methods.

If you really care about those goals, you must not give up on them or relent because it appears you've not made progress. As I said, you've made progress by at least trying it.

There are many who haven't even tried. They're not even aware that they could experience what you're experiencing right now, they're still in the dark.

You're already steps ahead of them because in the process of this experience you're getting right now, you'll discover the best way to go about those goals. And you're already closer to success. But for those who haven't tried, they are still ignorant.

So be glad my friend, every disappointment is indeed a blessing in disguise because you get a chance to learn something and be better than you were.

If you're a religious person, you should also try to strengthen your relationship with your creator. Pray often and perform your acts of charity to the less privileged.

I personally don't really like to attribute challenges or setbacks to spiritual causes because I believe that despite our beliefs, we still have our individual roles to play as human beings. However, there are certain things beyond our control of which faith and devotion brings us solace.

That doesn't change the fact that as human beings we shouldn't try our own best. My problem with some people who pretend to be too religious is that they often attribute everything to spiritual causes rather than look critically at it to make changes.

They don't like to accept any responsibility, they depend on their beliefs or creator to do everything for them. I don't believe that is a true way to be devoted. You should be devoted, but you must not neglect the part you must play.

So, when all seems not to be working fine, by all means pray harder, but ensure that while praying, you also think deeply about the problems you're facing and try your best to work on them. Don't go and relax, then expect God to do everything for you.

If you've made some consistent progress within these days, congratulations, keep it up. Making progress alone is already enough motivation to keep up with what you're doing. Just keep on keeping on.

Some may have forgotten their New Year resolutions and plans. They're over with the euphoria of the New Year. They've dropped everything and now they're back to the same person they were. I don't wish this for anyone of you reading this article.

Positive change is something that must be constant in our lives as bold winners. At every moment, we must be changing to better humans. Every time we stop changing to become better, we become stagnant. And whatever remains stagnant dies and becomes stale.

A river that doesn't flow, stinks a lot because it remains the same. A river that flows is constantly fresh and alive. The movement of the river is what washes away those things that could make it stale.

So, just like the river, we must be constantly flowing and changing positively. Every time we decide to relax and go back to the way we had been in the past, we're standing the risk of being stagnant and stale.

Therefore, if you've not been working on those goals you set for yourself at the year's beginning, you better start this second to do something different towards it's achievement if you care about any progress this year. If you've forgot them, better find the book you wrote them down on and be conscious of them once again.

This is the month of March and this is a reminder to you to march on to your goals.

Believe me it's all about marching on, it's all about constantly flowing like a river, it's about movement. Life is all about movement.

And what are you moving towards? You're moving towards your dreams. Your moving towards where you desire to be. You're moving towards prosperity, achievement, love, joy, goodness and happiness.

I wish you the best of the month. Keep marching, keep moving and never stop winning!