Skip to main content

Featured post

The Active Ones Take It All

Hey, you! Yes.. you! Are you still delaying that wonderful idea you may have been nursing for a while now? Have you been hesitating on starting that business, journey, career, course, or work you have  to do?

Have you identified a favorable opportunity, but you've not been able to utilize it because you're thinking too much about it? Then this article is for you. I want you to bear this at the back of your mind: "The active ones take it all."

Life offers everything to the ones who are active. Life doesn't care about your intention or what you're thinking of doing. It cares about what you're doing!

Let's say there are two people who intend to start a similar business, let's say it's a small restaurant. One of them has been nursing the idea for a long time and is very passionate about it. He keeps thinking and thinking of how to start up the business and get everything ready but has done nothing yet.

The other one also nurses the idea though he…

The Quickest Way To Build Your Self Confidence

The shy squirrel

Self confidence is a quality that you cannot find lacking in any successful individual. Knowing the quickest way to build it is probably worth some value. You shouldn't be found acting shy or timid when your golden opportunity comes knocking just like the depicted squirrel above. And that's why I've decided to write this blog post.

Damn, I used to be  a really shy guy. I was shy to speak in public, I was shy to give a toast, shy to ask a girl out, shy to even look at other people squarely in the eye. This was a big issue for me because I lost many wonderful opportunities to develop myself as a result of lacking self confidence in certain situations. Even though I occasionally came tops in class, my teachers cared less because I was shy to take up some responsibilities.

No one really cared about how intelligent I was or how quickly I understood things. They cared about my demeanor and how well I carried myself. They weren't seeing good signs, so most of them avoided me and couldn't see any potentials except the few who came  closer and believed in me irrespective of my shamefaced nature. This is important to note: Your level of self confidence is what attracts you to people.

Being shy was almost destroying my life and my potentials until I took a very introspective and analytical look into my life and made a firm decision to build my self confidence for my own good. That led me to read a whole lot of books on the issue which subsequently helped me gain a better understanding of myself and what I needed to be doing.

Nevertheless, irrespective of what I came to learn and know from those  books, I was still not so confident. It was when I decided to constantly dare myself by trying out the things I was afraid to do that I noticed a sharp boost in my self confidence.

I had to push  myself into those situations I was not confident enough to take. I pushed myself to speak up at gatherings given the chance, I pushed myself to organize mini parties with friends even though I felt awkward as regards how best to behave. I pushed myself to try taking people out to lunch or dinner. I pushed myself to dance, start conversation with strangers, look people in the eye and speak to an audience.

And I noticed that with every push that I made, my confidence grew. I definitely felt awkward while pushing myself into those situations, but I did what I could anyways. Whether I did them well or not never mattered to me. What mattered was that I pushed myself to do them.  That was how my self confidence level rose sharply.

Every time I successfully pushed myself into a situation and I came out of it, I always felt an instant boost when I said to myself: "Nigel, you were able to this! Congrats! You have improved!"

It became fun daring myself repeatedly to do things I was scared of doing. And my confidence level increased with every attempt. It doesn't mean that I'm the most confident person in the world right now, because I still have my shy moments. Lol. Notwithstanding, there's a marked improvement in my personal life as a result of my sincerest efforts to dare the scary and the nerve racking.

I know it will work for you as well, because I've passed through it and I'm proof that trying to do those things you thought you couldn't do or that you were afraid of doing really boosts your confidence like magic! It doesn't mean you should dare everything, please don't attempt to fly off a cliff. Lol. The point is to dare yourself given certain opportunities.

There are many ways you can dare yourself. You just need to identify those things you're afraid of doing or facing and make a firm decision to keep trying them one by one. You will notice that the more you try them, the better you will get in those things and the more confident you will be. Self confidence has to also do with experience. The more experienced you are in doing anything, the more confident you are when called upon to do it.

But then, you have to start the process by pushing yourself into those scary and uncomfortable situations. The push is just what you need to start building your self confidence immediately. It will feel awkward, it will feel embarrassing, you will still feel shy or nervous.. But just overlook those scary feelings and keep being in those awkward situations and acting the way you can.

The awkward feelings are only trying to keep you trapped the same way, so that you will keep avoiding those scary situations. But you will never grow with avoidance. You will have to face it if you want to build that confidence. There is no quicker way than that push.

Working on your personal grooming and social skills are also worthy to mention. But they do not boost your confidence as quickly as daring those uncomfortable situations does.

I hope this article motivates you to break out of that reticent nature.

Stay confident and keep winning!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What Happened To Victor Pride of Bold and Determined?

So after so many months without visiting his blog, I tried to visit boldanddetermined.com for some fired up articles only to get a surprise.. that the blog has been permanently closed and then there's podcast following from Vic Pride (now Brother Nicholas) claiming that He's now Born again and has given his life to Jesus Christ.
I didn't know how to feel. Whether it's good news or bad news will ultimately be up to us, but I just think I should share my thoughts about it here. But before that a brief background story.
Victor Pride has been running the motivational blog bold and determined since 2011 and he has actually inspired and motivated a lot of young men and women to break out lazy attitudes/habits to live the life of their dreams. 
Even though, I never really agreed with quite a number of his ideas about God, religion, the government, women etc, I still saw the truth in some of the things he said. And he had a very unique way of writing with gives you that adrenalin…

Why You Should Be Careful With An "I don't Care" Attitude

You've probably heard people say things like "I don't care what anybody thinks." "I don't give a damn" "I don't care anymore" and other words like that. The "I don't care" attitude is becoming quite popular and of course it comes with a good feeling.

This attitude can actually be helpful if it motivates you to keep trying where other people have failed or it helps you become a better and a much happier person. But sometimes, this attitude can arise out of pure stubbornness and laziness.

Many relationships among people have failed because of this. Some people don't care at all about another person but just themselves and their needs forgetting that their needs are dependent on the needs of other people.

It is important to actually care to know the truth and properly look into our consciences before we adopt an I don't care attitude towards anything. Are you adopting it because you are convinced you're on a right t…

The Definition Of A True Woman

Previously, I wrote an article on the definition of a true man. It would be fair enough to also write and article for the women who read this blog.

Women are beautiful, lovely and sensitive creatures way different from men in a lot of things both mentally and physically. They are special in their own way and also play very important roles in our society.

Just like in the case of the men, value systems seem to be changing for women too.

Most women seem to rate themselves these days based mainly on their looks. They spend so much time and money in ensuring they look very good, clean and posh. They can do anything to look attractive and get attention.

Some even go to the extent of almost going nude on social media just to feel good about themselves and get reassuring likes.

Painfully, most of these same women don't pay attention to what is inside of them. They often neglect the unseen qualities which make them who they truly are.

There are some women who boast about how many men the…