Your Own Needs Matter!
I used to be that person who always puts his needs last. I only considered what other people wanted without considering my own needs. I did this because I felt I will be liked by other people or gain their admiration.
I was doing all for them and for their approval. It turned out that even though I was putting my needs behind and working for the needs of others people, I was still unhappy. I got their approval and most of them thought, "He's such a nice guy." But I wasn't happy.
The prison of what other people would say or think about me kept me behaving this way for quite some time. But then I found out I wasn't living my life. I was not doing what I wanted to. Life wasn't fun for me even though I made others happy. What was the problem?
I had to think deeply about it as it bothered me a lot. Then, somehow I figured out the answer: My own needs really matter. I didn't have to sweep those needs under the carpet while helping meet the needs of others. There was a connecting point between my needs and the needs of other people.
I could meet my own individual needs while also meeting other people's needs. It wasn't meant to be a win - lose situation. That was the problem. I was making other people happy, because I only wanted to please them, without considering my unhappy self.
I figured out that there is a way to please myself while pleasing others. This is different from being selfish because selfishness focuses on pleasing oneself even at the disadvantage of other people around you. This was beyond selfishness. It brought mutual happiness. I was happy understanding that I could still make people around me happy while honoring my own needs in any situation.
It was a win-win. It was the perfect answer. I didn't have to do things just because I needed the approval of people around me. That's important, but most importantly, I must do things because I really wanted to do them and achieve my own objective as well.
It was an eye opening moment. A moment of deep insight. I've been a happier individual ever since. Happy with life, happy with self and sharing that happiness with people around me.
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