You Are Not Alone
Many people around the world today often make the mistake of wrongly thinking that they are the only ones facing certain situations in their personal lives.
This leads most of them into depression, a negative mindset and even suicidal thoughts. In this article I will try to make you see reasons why you are not alone in the challenges you face.
Growing up, I used to think that I was all alone in many of the circumstances I found myself.
As a teenager, I didn't really get along so well with my mom. Maybe it was because Dad had passed away when I was much younger. But we often disagreed on many occasions because of my lack of understanding or trying to see things from her own perspective.
I often thought I was alone in this and it often affected my predominant disposition because I felt unloved. It was until when I discussed with other seemingly happier colleagues that I realized some of them had actually been through more serious disagreements with their parents. But they didn't let it stop them from being themselves.
At parties or picnics, I usually felt awkward as regards how to act and behave. I was too self conscious wondering what people expected me to do and what I should do. Scared of making mistakes and stuff. All these kind of thoughts made me not act freely and I thought I was the only one who felt that way.
My eyes were opened when I talked to others who were seemingly the life of the party. They admitted that they felt the same way and were often tempted to be too self conscious, but they trained themselves to simply take action and do what came naturally instead of keep thinking like I did.
And that's really the secret here: Acting even when you feel alone. When those thoughts haunt you, do you act and switch your mind away from it? Or do you keep seeing more and more reasons why you are alone?
What you do when you feel alone really goes a long way to shape your experience.
There was a time I used to think that I was the only one who had few friends and that meant that I was less popular. I'm actually very careful in selecting my friends and my friends were few and I was feeling bad about that...
Till I found out that the people I thought were popular with many close friends also had few very close friend but many acquaintances. That is.. They knew many people or have been with many people, and it's just the familiarity and exchanging pleasantries that linked them.
I used to think I was the only one who was yet to get a job, start an awesome business and start having fun. Turned out that many other people were in my shoes still working on getting a job or starting a small business.
There was a time I was so confused about finding my purpose. I didn't know exactly what I was in this world to do and I felt bad that I've not yet narrowed my life down. It was liberating to find out that many other people were in my shoes. And I could still live out all my ambitions.
Some people who are in relationships or married often times fall for this trap too. They see all the good things happening in other marriages or relationships outside and only see the wrong thing in theirs. Then they feel all alone in that condition.
Are you seeing the problem? Some of the marriages or relationships they envy might have faced or are facing worse challenges than theirs, but the partners involved acted and somehow twisted the hands of fate to their favor. And now you envy them and you think their relationship was all perfect.
What the seemingly perfect partners did was simple: Instead of feeling all alone about their own predicaments and getting depressed, they understood that they were not alone in their situation and focused on working their way out of the love challenge.
The only way is working your way out of your feelings of being alone. Then you'll see how things transform.
Some people you see also pretend. They have mastered the art of pretense. They also feel all alone sometimes, but they can cover that feeling with a lot of things. Some resort to drugs, excessive drinking and lasciviousness. All because they are trying to avoid that feeling.
But all those substitutes don't help because you're just avoiding the feeling. The best thing is to work your way out of it through the things you do.
All you need is to simply observe or discuss with people, you will see that you are never alone in whatever you face and many others are encountering the same thoughts or experiences.
My life changed when I realized how easy things I thought were difficult really were. And when I saw that challenges I faced weren't really so different from the challenges of those I envied.
The difference between me and them was in my attitude. While I had let my challenges make me look down on myself, they ignored their challenges, still saw themselves in a positive light and took conscious action to overcome those challenges.
When I understood this, I copied their pattern and consciously took any action to overcome the personal challenges I had. Though difficult for me initially, but as I kept on doing it, my life changed.
I attracted people to myself and when they left me, I didn't feel bad, I moved on to other people. I wasn't stuck thinking about the meaning of stuff like why they had to leave and why stuff happened to me. There is no meaning to anything except the one you give that thing. So I committed to acting right.
When I disagreed with mom, rather than feel like I was all alone or sad, I tried to see things from her perspective and made her understand my own feelings about stuff. No matter how strongly I disagreed, I walked up to her and tried to understand her. Our relationship got better and waxed stronger.
When I went to parties and felt awkward, I take the initiative and start a conversation with someone or even get up and dance naturally to the beating of the music. I never cared in the world what anyone thought about my dance steps.
Instead of feeling like I only had few friends. I made conscious efforts to build my network of friends and tried to keep in touch with most of them occasionally. My network expanded for good.
Bottom line is that I tackled all my feelings of aloneness with conscious activity. I didn't let my feelings make me inactive. I acted despite how my mind wanted to make me feel. That was when the transformation began in my life. And that is where yours will begin too if you ever feel alone.
Most of our problems arise from either over thinking or a lack of the most basic form of it. Because if you had given a little thought to other people, you would've seen that they too faced the same challenges, but the difference between those who appeared to be having it smooth and yourself was all in the attitude!
You could sit around all day feeling bad about your predicament or you can do something about it right away. The magic happens in doing. When you do, you make a difference. Stop being stuck with feeling and thinking too much. Learn to Act your way out!
There are many people who have faced, are facing and will still face whatever thing you think you are facing all alone. Don't fall for the trap of thinking that you are the only one facing anything. It leads to acute depression and suicidal thoughts.
If some of them were able to make it out successfully, why can't you?
Thinking sure helps, But over thinking without any action is a curse.
You are definitely not alone.. If you're religious, you should know that God sees everything and is with you at all times. Just play your part by doing and watch the miracles happen.