Stop Expecting And Take Care Of Yourself



Growing up, I used to expect people to care about me or show me love because I lost my dad early. I craved for attention from people because I at least expected some sympathy from them. But guess what? Nobody gave a shit. And today I've come to realize that it was for good.
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Nobody gave a shit whether I had a dad or not or whether it was difficult for us growing up or not. Who cares? No one wanted to know that. It hurt me real badly at first as I hoped that those who were closest to my father would care about me.. but they didn't.
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Usually, this is a similar situation out there for people who have lost loved ones or going through challenges of life. A lot of people wouldn't give a damn whether you've eaten today or not or whether you fell down the street or whether you went through a heartbreak or lost your job.. nobody really gives a hoot. People have their own problems to worry about. So why should they bother about you?
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Armed with this realization, I eventually learnt how to care about myself, how to depend on myself and how to get what I want. I learned how the world worked and stopped expecting anything from anybody. I started developing myself. It was only God I looked up to.
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I started interacting with older people who were making impact in the society and discovered that a good number of these people had similar or even worse situations than I did while growing up, but they still pulled through. Some lost their parents earlier than I did.. some were abused/maltreated as kids by their own parents.. some had very traumatic experiences, but guess what? They dusted themselves up and made it. It was really encouraging knowing that I wasn't alone in my experiences and so far so good, I've found more reasons to be grateful to God than worried about stuff.
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I dont know about you or what you have been facing, but you're not alone either. Growing up without a loved one, losing someone you were really close to or passing through difficult times could sometimes seem like the end of the world. It may seem like everything is crashing down on you and no help may seem forthcoming.. but you must keep your head up and look up to God. As you're looking up.. do the best you can for yourself no matter how little. Don't expect anyone to do anything for you.. do what you can for yourself. Interact with people who have made it and learn from their own stories and challenges. Then you will find the motivation and will power to keep striving.
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This life, no one owes you anything.. it's up to you to create the type of life you want for yourself by planning/working towards it rather than keep expecting people to have pity on you and help. A lot of people will expect more from you than they are willing to give, so don't bank on their giving.
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I don't like saying that nobody cares because the truth is that there are some people who will actually like you for no explainable reason and care for you. But the thing you have to note is that you should NOT EXPECT it from anybody.
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Learn to care for yourself first. You deserve it because no one else can really fully understand what goes on inside of your head except you. Stop expecting people to care.. that's why you end up feeling hurt and sad because you expect people to do for you what you can do for yourself. When you begin to care for yourself.. you'll find yourself making more meaningful contribution to the world around you.
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This post is a wake up call to everyone who is passing through one form of dilemma or another. Believe me someone has gone through a worse situation than you and has successfully pulled through it.
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They didn't pull through it by expecting people to have pity on em. They pulled through it by learning how to take very good care of themselves and doing their possible best.
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This is a note to you: Take care of yourself, stop expecting someone else to do it for you.. work your way out of that difficult situation and ignore what anyone else says.. You will look back one day and smile at your problems.

#Nigel

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