Sometimes You Got To Ask
Some people (myself inclusive) find it difficult to beg or ask other people to give them anything. This difficulty has nothing to do with pride as a lot of people may think, but has a lot to do with past experiences.
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People who have been too dependent on others in the past had to put up with a lot of crap. You know for some people when they are helping you or they're always the ones providing stuff for you, they begin to feel like they have complete power over you.
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They begin to order you around, they tell you what to do and try to dictate to you how to live your life. Some may even maltreat you. Although, not everyone behaves like this when they are providing anything for you, but a good number of people do.
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As a result of this, people who value their self respect and their opinions learn the hard way to provide the things they need for themselves by themselves, so they don't have to put up with insults from benefactors and the likes.
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It works for them and soon they begin to see that it's possible for them to get the things they've been getting from others by themselves. It becomes a way of life and unconsciously they become more unwilling to ask for help even when they really need to ask for it. This unconscious unwillingness(as I choose to name it 😊) is not always good.
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Last Saturday, I was kinda stranded. I had some money in my account, but I couldn't recharge from there (kept getting errors😕). I needed to make an important call and I wasn't with any reasonable handy cash at the moment because I have to offset the N500 I was already owing MTN, before I could recharge(I don't know how I fell for that *606 borrowing prompt🤔).
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I had data and I didn't know what to do. And then a thought came to my head. "Why not put it up on your status that you urgently need airtime and whether anyone can assist you?" And then the other part of me said "Don't do it, nobody will listen even if they see it. You know how people can be.. you end up looking stupid.." but the smaller voice said, "Nigel, what do you have to lose? You can only try." That voice finally won and I put up the status on my WhatsApp.
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I forgot about it as I walked to my destination and in less than 8 minutes, I started getting notifications on my phone. I thought it was regular WhatsApp group messages , but to my surprise it was SMS notifications from different numbers who had sent airtime adding up to a total of 2,200. I had to quickly take down the WhatsApp status.
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I was bamboozled by the fact that people didn't only take their time to view the status, but also responded fast. I had to thank them all before I made the call I needed to make. I still had enough balance after that. Why did that magic just happen? I only asked.
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The point of sharing this message is not that you should start asking everyone you know for something(if you can provide it yourself, that's usually the best route). The point is that if you're that kind of person who never asks for help/assistance in anything you're doing (because somehow you believe nobody may be willing to help you), then you may need to reconsider your views.
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No matter how independent we are or try to be, there will be times when our hands may be tied and we will need help and support from other people. If we cannot ask, we cannot receive and we will be stuck. Yes, it's true that when you ask some people won't care, some people might ridicule you, but when you get to that point where you cannot do anything else, just ask! Even the Bible says, "Ask and you shall receive".
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The worst thing that would happen is that nobody responds, but at least you go home happy knowing you exhausted your last option by simply asking. However, often times than not, if you get to that point and you make yourself vulnerable enough to ask, you're most likely to be pleasantly surprised.
#Nigel
.
People who have been too dependent on others in the past had to put up with a lot of crap. You know for some people when they are helping you or they're always the ones providing stuff for you, they begin to feel like they have complete power over you.
.
They begin to order you around, they tell you what to do and try to dictate to you how to live your life. Some may even maltreat you. Although, not everyone behaves like this when they are providing anything for you, but a good number of people do.
.
As a result of this, people who value their self respect and their opinions learn the hard way to provide the things they need for themselves by themselves, so they don't have to put up with insults from benefactors and the likes.
.
It works for them and soon they begin to see that it's possible for them to get the things they've been getting from others by themselves. It becomes a way of life and unconsciously they become more unwilling to ask for help even when they really need to ask for it. This unconscious unwillingness(as I choose to name it 😊) is not always good.
.
Last Saturday, I was kinda stranded. I had some money in my account, but I couldn't recharge from there (kept getting errors😕). I needed to make an important call and I wasn't with any reasonable handy cash at the moment because I have to offset the N500 I was already owing MTN, before I could recharge(I don't know how I fell for that *606 borrowing prompt🤔).
.
I had data and I didn't know what to do. And then a thought came to my head. "Why not put it up on your status that you urgently need airtime and whether anyone can assist you?" And then the other part of me said "Don't do it, nobody will listen even if they see it. You know how people can be.. you end up looking stupid.." but the smaller voice said, "Nigel, what do you have to lose? You can only try." That voice finally won and I put up the status on my WhatsApp.
.
I forgot about it as I walked to my destination and in less than 8 minutes, I started getting notifications on my phone. I thought it was regular WhatsApp group messages , but to my surprise it was SMS notifications from different numbers who had sent airtime adding up to a total of 2,200. I had to quickly take down the WhatsApp status.
.
I was bamboozled by the fact that people didn't only take their time to view the status, but also responded fast. I had to thank them all before I made the call I needed to make. I still had enough balance after that. Why did that magic just happen? I only asked.
.
The point of sharing this message is not that you should start asking everyone you know for something(if you can provide it yourself, that's usually the best route). The point is that if you're that kind of person who never asks for help/assistance in anything you're doing (because somehow you believe nobody may be willing to help you), then you may need to reconsider your views.
.
No matter how independent we are or try to be, there will be times when our hands may be tied and we will need help and support from other people. If we cannot ask, we cannot receive and we will be stuck. Yes, it's true that when you ask some people won't care, some people might ridicule you, but when you get to that point where you cannot do anything else, just ask! Even the Bible says, "Ask and you shall receive".
.
The worst thing that would happen is that nobody responds, but at least you go home happy knowing you exhausted your last option by simply asking. However, often times than not, if you get to that point and you make yourself vulnerable enough to ask, you're most likely to be pleasantly surprised.
#Nigel
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