In an ideal world, people should be generally happy, loving and successful. But of course that's not the case here and many people are suffering in one way or the other. Here are 10 reasons why you may still be suffering and tips on breaking out of that zone:
1. You care too much
One of the reasons why we suffer for nothing is simply because we care too much. It's important we care about certain things, but when we care about them too much to our own detriment, it becomes a big problem. You should consider the opinion of other people around you, but you shouldn't care too much about it. Sometimes, you may need to go contrary to the general views of other people in order to be successful.
Sometimes, you don't need to care about what anyone else thinks if you're thoroughly convinced about something. Sometimes, you may need to go ahead alone with an idea for it to be fruitful. If you always care too much about the opinion of other people, you will miss those opportunities which need you to differ. See this article: Failures or What People Have Said Or Done To You Don't Matter.
2. You worry too much
Many people put themselves into needless suffering because of their worrying habit. They worry about the past and the future but forget the present. They often worry about why a loved one had to die, why they haven't been able to make a 100 million dollars, why they are so fair or dark in complexion, why they were born in their countries, why life seems to be unfair to them and lots of other inconsequential things.
People are worrying. It's not rocket science. Listen to some discussions and you'll hear them talk about everything they're worried about.
Worrying is what keeps you trapped in that situation you find yourself. Be grateful for the things you have and diligently work towards the things you wish for. All you need to do is PLAN on what action steps you need to take and go ahead with them.
Don't keep worrying about anything. It's pointless.
3. You wait for the perfect time
I want you to realize that the concept of a perfect time is an illusion. You can't keep waiting for a time when every condition is met before you go ahead with taking an action that could lead you to achieving your dreams.
If you have any little means to kick your idea off, use those resources you have to start it, with time, things will keep improving naturally. There will always be room for improvement in any venture. So, don't wait for perfect moments or seasons because you don't even have the luxury of time. If you have the ability to do what you need to do, go ahead and do it, stop waiting. Hesitation could be dangerous.
4. You are afraid
Fear is our worst enemy. And often times most of those fears are illusions that are baseless. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said and I quote: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." What are you afraid of doing? What are you afraid of trying? Often times, what we're most afraid of doing is exactly what we need to be doing.
Many dreams have ended up as just dreams because those who dreamt about them were too afraid to try. Stop being afraid. Go out there and face it. Because it's only when you face your fears that you can live your dreams. Also see: Always Face your Fears.
5. You give up too easily
You don't have to expect all those good things you desire for yourself to come so easily. They may actually come so easily.. Some people are that lucky. They try the first or the second time and they make a major breakthrough. Yeah. For some other people, they may have to try ten times, twenty times or Forty times before they can make that breakthrough.
So the thing is that you cannot really use the number of times other people tried before they made it as a yardstick for yourself. You shouldn't give up easily because you tried few times and failed.
If something tells you to keep trying, then keep trying.
There are indeed times you have to give up though, that's when it's clearly obvious that your endeavor will be futile. However, if you still believe in the possibility of your breakthrough, you should not be quick to give up.
6. You put yourself last
Yeah, you read that right. In the name of humility and being loved by others, many of us put ourselves last and we often suffer for it. You don't have to put your own needs and wants last because you want to please others. You only end up making yourself unhappy.
As much as you are passionate enough to respect the desires of other people, your own desires actually matter and it's not an evil thing to put them on the same level you've been putting the needs of others.
It's very important you stop sweeping your own needs under the carpet to please another person.
If you continue doing it, the other person may start to feel that it's only their own needs that matter and you're always there to meet those needs. They may not see the importance of your own needs too.
Respect your needs and others will follow suit.
7. You don't treat others with respect
The way you relate with other people really matters. What you give is what you are most likely to get. When you treat other people badly, you're most likely gonna be treated the same way. No one likes a cantankerous person.
You need to respect other people, whether big or small. Oftentimes, we make the mistake of only respecting those who we perceive as highly ranked or popular in the society rather than ordinary people.
Till date, some people are still suffering because they were not nice to people who could've helped them in their mission.
You see, that person you think is ordinary, who you may treat with disrespect and disdain may turn around tomorrow to become a famous or wealthy person. They may even have the only information which could change your life for good. But you underrate them and you still suffer as a result.
8. You procrastinate
Procrastination they say is a lazy man's apology. "I will do it tomorrow," you say. Then tomorrow comes and you repeat "I will do it tomorrow," and this goes on and on until you're not even motivated to do it again. Benjamin Franklin once said, "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today."
It's one of my favorite quotes which inspires me to continue with the "Now Habit" which is an ideal solution to the thief named Procrastination.
Many are still in the position where they are today because they were not doing what they had to do on time. They kept postponing it until it was too late to even do it. And then they suffer. They blame life or God for their woes, but they were too lazy to do what they had to do when they had the time.
Our people say, "Chọọ ewu ojii ka chi dị, " meaning "Find the black goat during the day time." It implies that if you don't look for it when it's day time, you are most likely not to see the black goat when it's nightfall.
Because Time is one of the most important resources on planet earth, we must not let procrastination steal it away from us. Imbibe the Now Habit by doing what you have to do once it comes to your mind(as long as you're not currently doing anything). Remember, "Tick Tock Says The Time."
9. You don't seize your opportunities
They say great opportunities usually come but once. Some people are lucky that the opportunity may come around a second time, but everyone isn't so lucky. It's better you grab a life changing opportunity the first time it shows up than gamble with the probability that it will show up a second time.
When that opportunity shows up and you're moved to do something about it, don't hesitate. The more you hesitate, the more likely you're not going to grab it. The mind can be very tricky. It can convince you otherwise. It can start replaying all your fears and doubts. Before you know it, you forfeit the opportunity.
You know the opportunities you've been waiting for. Once you recognize them, grab em. It's that simple. This doesn't mean you should be gullible though. I believe you're smart enough to differentiate between a scam and a great opportunity.
10. You've not figured out your purpose
In a previous article "Are you purpose driven?" I wrote briefly on the importance of purpose. Most people are still going through hard times because they've not been able to identify what they're meant to be doing.
Can you imagine how frustrating it is to just be driving around in a car without any particular place in mind? That's exactly how life is for someone without a purpose. A purpose is what keeps you going. It's what makes you happy, it's what gives you the juice to live, engage and create. Without it, we're almost lifeless. Life becomes somewhat meaningless.
So, it's important we know ourselves naturally and have a purpose which guides our every move. It's your responsibility to find and decide your purpose for yourself. This article on "How To Discover Your Purpose In Life" could be of help.
Okay, I'm signing off here. Think about those lines and make the changes you need to make to experience desired changes in your life. Keep winning!