Many little things happen in our daily lives, most of which has a way of guiding us to the truth if only we pay some attention to it. I paid attention to one of those things and it inspired me to write this blog post.
I learnt something new from a pretty young lady Lara, who recently joined a support group for bloggers of various categories of which I was already an existing member. I was inspired with the way she joined the group; the actions she took and her good communication which won the admiration of many of us. How was she able to do this?
Usually, most newbies to the bloggers group often just introduce themselves briefly and start bombarding the platform with various links to visit their blogs. But Lara's approach was different and that made her stand out.
When Lara joined the group, the first thing she said was: "Hi, I'm Lara, nice to meet you all" and after a few responses, she proceeded with "Where do you guys blog at?" This question was so pivotal. She was interested in knowing about the members of the group first and what they do. Like who wouldn't be proud to show off his/her blog?
Of course, most of us were too excited to answer. Comments rolled in from the members who were online, introducing themselves and their blogs to Lara. Amazing.. Lara got us talking! How did she get us to want to talk to her? She simply asked an interesting question. Now, she didn't just stop there. For every blog link that was posted as a reply to her question, she visited it, read one or two posts and dropped off an intelligent comment relating to the post.
That was clearly going the extra mile. Members who dropped off their links got notifications as regards some comments on their blogs and it was from Lara. That really endeared them to her and they thanked Lara for visiting their blogs and commenting it. I would like to remind you that she never said anything about her own blog yet. She even helped someone with an answer to a question on comment moderation.
Naturally, enthralled members had to ask her about her own blog. They were naturally craving to find out about her blog. Why? She had showed some concern for theirs and they felt the need to reciprocate. She didn't put her own interest upfront. She communicated very well with existing members, added some value to them and then without even saying anything about her interests, they were asking for it.
Long story short, she was the center of attention at that time and we all ended up on her blog, reading and commenting on it.
What's the lesson behind this? It's the importance of first adding value to other people before clamoring for your interests. Sadly, it appears many people only care about themselves and their needs without really taking some time to show genuine concern for others. This attitude keeps them trapped with same goals without making much progress.
If you really want to win people over, FIRST add value to them. Think of a way you can add some value to their own lives first. The question you should ask yourself is: "How can I show some care?" "In what little way can I meet their own needs?" "How can I be of use to them?" The only way you can clearly answer those questions is by finding a way to add something nice to those people's aspirations.
See, a whole lot of people out there are bugged with lots of problems already. They've got a lot going on in their minds and they're thinking of how to achieve their numerous goals. You shouldn't blame them if they don't really take your requests seriously when you've done nothing in any way to meet any of their problems. And the thing is: You don't need to solve all their big problems to win them over. Just do any little thing you can for them that can help them achieve an objective or need. It works wonders.
"Do unto others what you want them to do unto you."
- The Golden Rule
Learn to think first about what you can do for people, how you can help them if you want them to be willing to easily support you. You build great relationships with them and they'll be your buddies for life. It's that simple. It's one of the principles of effective communication(a blog post on that is coming up soon titled "Secrets of effective communication").
Keep this in mind, keep winning people over and just keep winning boldly in every area of your life.