Afraid To Go Alone?

Afraid to go alone?

We live in a world where many people are too afraid to go alone sometimes. They always want to please the majority, they always to be with the majority and they are afraid to go their own path when they really have to. This has kept many of them from being successful.

How willing are you to go alone at some point in your life? How badly do you really want to stand out or leave your mark on the world?

Are you willing to sacrifice your highest aspirations just so you can go along with other people always? These are really important questions to ask yourself.

There are some people who have awesome dreams and visions of exactly what they want to do with their lives. You see their eyes glitter with excitement anytime they talk about it, but when you ask them why they aren't pursuing it yet, you may hear stuff like: "My parents don't want me to do it," "People say I won't make money from it," or even "It's not so popular."

There are many more answers like that from people who may have been blessed with wonderful gifts and ideas. Yet, they don't let those gifts blossom because they're afraid that the path isn't popular.

Now there's something you have to know: your parents or any other close person you have in your life is only there to guide you. Their role is limited to guidance and not making decisions for you.

The only one who is qualified enough to take decisions for you as long as you know the difference between right and wrong is YOURSELF.

You are so unique and you are not like anyone else. You are the only version of you in this world. And out of over 7 billion people on this planet, no one else thinks the same way as you do. And no one will ever do so till eternity. If you understand this, you should know that your strongest feelings and inclinations should not be toyed with for any reason.

If you were naturally born with certain gifts, let's say you can draw very well or you can sing, or you're good in setting things apart and building them up, whatever it is, learn to nurture it. Whatever natural talents you have, you should nurture and grow it.

A lot of times, I hear people complain that they want to do something else asides what they are naturally good in because others say there's no money in it.

It's not always about the money. That's the mistake many people make. They sacrifice their ultimate fulfillment and happiness on the alter of money. They could've been superstars, they could have been famous and extremely wealthy if they followed their talents and perfected it irrespective of what people said, but they drop it and start pursuing money.

Money will come naturally to you as long as you're passionately doing something that has the capacity to add some value to people's lives. It will definitely come. Keep this at the back of your mind. However, it is not the goal!

It's when you make money the goal that you become frustrated and unhappy when you seem not to be getting enough of it.

The real goal is to develop yourself and your capacities to the highest possible extent. You do this so selflessly and passionately that whatever you are doing becomes second nature. You become lost in your art, that's when it becomes magical and you see the kind of respect your art will command.

So when you are afraid of going that path that looks lonely because people have said there's no money in it, you will end up following those people to pursue the same things they pursue and you may never reach your highest potential.

You may have been discouraged and deceived into following the crowd because you heard  that what you want to do isn't so popular. The question you should ask yourself is: Who made all the popular paths popular? They are people like you and me who went their own paths just as they were inspired from the inside.

You may be the one destined to make that path popular in your environment. A new and lonely path might just hold the potential to set you apart and set you on a road to financial freedom. But you think "It's not popular. How many people want to do it?" And the reasoning becomes.. "Since other people aren't doing it or thinking about it, then it's not good." Right?

Let me let you in on a secret: You'll hardly find anything in a place where people are crowded. Even if you stand a chance to find something, you'll have to fight off fierce competition. There are people that are already there before you and more people are rush into it. It becomes difficult.

But when you're able to see potential in a field where very few people are playing, you stand a very high chance in becoming very successful if you go that path. In other words, less is more.

If you're always following the crowd, you will miss many things. I don't mean that you should always try to stand out and be on your own.

Sometimes, you have to go with the crowd, sometimes the crowd is right. But what I'm saying is that even though you blend in with the crowd when it's necessary, you must never be afraid to go alone when it's also necessary.

When it comes to success, you have to be extremely ready to go alone. Many people don't want to be as successful as you want to be. Some people just want to live average lives; get educated, get a job, get married, have kids and die. But I guess you want something more than that.

And if you really want it badly, you have to understand that you will do things that many average people won't do. Of course, when you are doing those things many people won't be with you, because many people don't share the same vision. Only very few like minded people (if any) will stick with you on that path. So you should be definitely willing to go alone.

There's no looking back. There's no expecting loved ones or family to support you or hold your hands as you're going. If they're ready to support this burning desire in you, then it's fine, or else you go alone!

Don't say because people aren't there to support you or encourage you, you won't go ahead with it. If you do so, you will be the one who lost.

You'll find out that when you are convinced to go alone even without support and you finally become very successful in that thing, those same people who never supported your idea will be forced to celebrate with you. Your parents who may have disagreed with your idea will commend you for going your own way.

Your friends who were skeptical about your idea will tell your story and the people who discouraged you will sing your own praise. At this point, there won't be any need to harbor hatred for them in your heart.

You'll forgive them very easily because the joy, contentment and fulfilment you've found from going your own way will be too large to even accommodate any hate.

Be willing to go alone if need be and keep on winning! Let walk together on the path to success!

- Nigel Ikechukwu ©2018

The Active Ones Take It All

active ones take it all

Hey, you! Yes.. you! Are you still delaying that wonderful idea you may have been nursing for a while now? Have you been hesitating on starting that business, journey, career, course, or work you have  to do?

Have you identified a favorable opportunity, but you've not been able to utilize it because you're thinking too much about it? Then this article is for you. I want you to bear this at the back of your mind: "The active ones take it all."

Life offers everything to the ones who are active. Life doesn't care about your intention or what you're thinking of doing. It cares about what you're doing!

Let's say there are two people who intend to start a similar business, let's say it's a small restaurant. One of them has been nursing the idea for a long time and is very passionate about it. He keeps thinking and thinking of how to start up the business and get everything ready but has done nothing yet.

The other one also nurses the idea though he is not as passionate as the first, but he immediately starts cooking in very small quantities and sells to his neighbors and friends living close.

He is not thinking too much about how to buy a big land and build a big restaurant like the first may be thinking. He just starts cooking with what he has at that point and starts selling to those he knew.

Which of these two men do you think has a higher chance of making a boom in the business? Of course it's the second. With his strategy, he will slowly build a loyal customer base while generating some money in the process.

As his business grows, he will be able to acquire more materials and facilities needed. He may even hire extra hands. And before you know it, a profitable restaurant is born. The first man will still be there thinking of how to get everything set.

Even if he finally gets it set, the second person have made much progress already with the time he had lost. He will have to start from scratch to find loyal customers and advertise his business. If second man has played his game right, it will be difficult for this man to even catch up.

And what gave the second the advantage? Activity!

Dormancy is a trap. Even if you're thinking and making plans, don't let it entrap you into being dormant. Because dormancy of any form is dangerous. Much time is lost and before you know it, active men have taken the opportunity.

I give you another instance, let's say two guys are really in love with a girl. The first one may really be genuinely in love with the girl and really desires to make her his wife. But he isn't active. He doesn't make efforts to let the girl know how he feels about her.

He's just having these feelings and he's not active about expressing it. What do you think will happen? The girl will be there because there's no way she's going to know what he has in his mind. And she may never get to know how much love this guy has for her simply because the guy wasn't active.

Another guy may come around, he may not really love the girl that much, but he is an active man, he talks to the girl, shows care to her, takes her out on dates and courts her like a lady.. Of course, the girl is likely to fall for him because at least he was active enough to express his feelings.

Put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself who you would go for given the choices? The answer is too obvious. How can she even go for a man who hasn't shown any signs that he loves her?

Again, let's say there are two politicians who aspire for a political position, one of them is active. He always moves around different communities, interacting with the inhabitants and gives them convincing speeches.

The other one does nothing but hope and pray that the people see the goodness inside of him to vote him on election day.

Which of them do you think is likely to win the election on the election day?

Activity.. There's nothing like it. If an upcoming musician comes out today and sings his very first song, do you think he stands a great chance of becoming more popular than any of the top musicians in the world by virtue of that song?

Of course not! He will have to be active well enough to perfect his art and compete with the masters. Activity is what will sharpen his ability and bring him to the limelight.

Activity.. How active are you? If there is anything you desire in your life that you don't have, it's because you've not been active well enough to have it.

Activity always pays the active ones. It never owes. It pays right on time. With activity, you will get everything you want and even more. Just learn to be very active in the pursuit of whatever you desire.

There's really no other way if you look at it deeply. You only look for other ways because you don't want to be active. You feel like it's stressful. And you desire to go back to your free and lazy patterns.

But activity has a price. You've got to pay the price for it. The rewards of activity are too great that they aren't for the faint hearted. You will be willing to pass through the stress. You will be willing to do what it really takes because you really want what it offers.

There's no successful man who wasn't active. Look around you. Study the successful and you'll see that they are very much active in their lives.

It's very few people that are willing to go that extra mile just like the active ones.. And that why majority of people are average and are living in obscurity, while those very few control everything.

They get to control everything because they paid the price that billions of people couldn't pay. The gains are worth the sacrifice isn't it?

There's no point giving more examples because there are many examples that we see in our everyday lives telling us that only the active ones get everything they want, but some of us don't pay attention.

Therefore, I am challenging you today to dare to be active. You're reading this blog post because you care about success, because you're different from the rest and you want to stand out from them.

You are already success oriented and that's why I'm reminding or challenging you to keep being active. Be relentless in the pursuit of whatever it is that your heart really yearns for.

You don't have to listen to what they're saying. You know exactly where you are meant to be and you're not setting for an average life like them, so you should focus on your activity.

Activity will always reward you and set you apart.

Life is all about activity and whatever that is inactive is considered dead.

Pursue excellence with activity and success will chase you pants down!

Be active and keep winning!







Why You Still Face The Shit You Don't Like

face shit you don't like?

At various times in our lives we face some kind of shit we don't like. Whether you're bored, you're in an abusive relationship or you're doing a kind of job you don't like, the point is that you still face some shit anyway. Shit here refers to the unwanted circumstances or situations in our lives.

Many think that the best way out of the shit they find themselves is by simply running away from it or just ignoring it and pretending like it doesn't exist. The reverse is actually the case.

Some people walk into a place and after spending some minutes there, they're like "This place is boring,"  then they go off looking for other places that they believe is lively. And if the next place appears boring too, they leave and move on to the next.

Some people jump from one relationship to another, because they feel that their partner isn't doing so well as they expected, then they meet the next person and after some time, they come to the same conclusion and keep running that way.

Some have been blessed to be born in certain countries, but then they start seeing things that aren't right in the country and they want to leave and go live in another country, just to avoid what's not right in theirs. They forget that it was individuals like them who built those countries they run to.

Let's even say, you live with someone who you don't like their behavior. And instead of trying to help that person become a better person, you decide to leave them and run off to "better" people.

Get me right, I'm not saying that you should try to put up with any situation and not leave. There are times when the wise thing to do is to leave, but that's only when you've actually done your own best to transform that circumstance you don't like.

I really feel like we're made to encounter the things we don't like, so that we can play a role in its transformation.

Let's say you are with a group of people, then you think it's boring around them, instead of running away to find more lively groups, why not try to think of a way to make things lively with them?

Or you're in a relationship and you don't like what your partner is doing. Instead of just breaking off the relationship, why not try to make your partner understand? There was a reason you fell in love with him or her in the first place.

It may be your country. You may not like how things are over there. You might be fed up with your president and other leaders. You might be pissed up with corruption. But instead of running away to seemingly better countries, why not be a good citizen of your country, lead by example and at least try to make it better in your own little way?

Instead of always running away from the people who annoy you and people you don't like, why not try to speak to them and affect their lives with your own ways. You might be all they need to change for good. Why always run away without trying?

All these instances boil down to taking responsibility and seeking to create the things we desire instead of just running away to better circumstances.

The negative circumstances(shit) you face are there for you to actually do something about it. That's why you're a human being and not an animal who merely responds to stimulus. You're a creator. It's your duty to create the right circumstances you seek.

Don't always follow the same pattern of running away to better things and conditions, forgetting that everything changes and it's not always about running away and ignoring things.

You can be the one destined to make that transformation. If you don't do it, who will?

This is why many of the unwanted things we face in our lives still haunt us. Indeed, we don't like those things, but instead of playing a role in changing it, we run away and it keeps growing.

If we had played a little role in the transformation, it would've reduced the occurrence of it. But we refuse to play that role and we allow these unwanted things grow in our society and in our lives.

If you don't like anything at all in your life, you should play a role in it's transformation. Running away to the things you like may seem to solve the problem to you, but the truth is that the problem remains unsolved and grows because you didn't do anything about it when you had the chance.

Most of the desirable outcomes we want in life were built by someone or a group of people. Whether it's a country, a loving relationship, lively circumstances, great jobs, wealth, good health, name it. These things were built by men and women who were not running away from creating.

And today, we enjoy the efforts of these people.

Why not try to make your own effort in the creation of those things you desire?

If you've been running in and out of relationships or people, why not try to change those partners or people for good?

If you tried your best and they don't want to change, that's fine, you can leave them to live their lives. But instead of just running away or avoiding them at first, ensure you try to correct them.

Because if you form it as a habit to always run from them, you will keep running. No one is entirely perfect out there because no one is the Almighty God. People have their bad sides, but it's all about whose bad side you can actually put up with.

There's no point to keep running off to other countries to seek for their jobs. Those jobs were created by the creative men and women of that country. Why not take a shot at starting your own business and creating a few jobs in your country instead of just leaving to get a foreign job?

There's nothing like a boring situation. It's all in the state of mind. Boredom only exists because we do not think much. A little bit of thinking will give you ideas to make a place fun when you think it's boring.

Wow.. I have written a lot of words today and I have repeated a lot. I don't even know how to start arranging everything I've written up there, so I'm posting it that way.

However, the whole essence of my post today is that there is always something you can do in your capacity to create something better than what you're getting.

The reason why we still face the shit we don't like is simply because we hardly do anything within our capacities to transform it. Instead we ignore and run away.

We will continually to encounter those things we don't like if we don't play our role in changing it.

So, have the mindset of creating whatever you want to see in your world. Stop desiring already created circumstances because you have your own duty to be the creator of something for someone else.

If we have much more creators than seekers, I think the world will be far better than it currently is.

Create stuff instead of avoiding shit and keep winning!

Live Above The Division

Live above divisions

In today's world, lots of people are increasingly finding it difficult to live above the various forms of division which surrounds their lives. They find it difficult to think beyond where they come from or their religious preferences and this hinders them from a lot of things.

For one to actually be able to live comfortably and survive in a rapidly changing world, one must learn to be tolerant and to love other people irrespective of where those people come from or their peculiar sets of beliefs.

If only a man could learn to think beyond the confines of his own beliefs or roots, he would discover many ways of working in harmony with his fellow man.

Being tolerant of others and loving them doesn't mean you agree with everything they say or behave like them. It means being open minded enough to see things from their own point of view.

This will help you better understand the motives of these people and subsequently know how best to work with them.

Sadly, it appears many people have a mindset fixed on the contrary. They cannot think beyond the divisions they find themselves.

You come from a particular place, so everyone from another place is always wrong. You believe in a religion, so every other person who believes in another religion is an idiot.

They share the opinion that where they come from and whatever they believe in is far superior to those of other people.

Naturally, this attitude will definitely create conflict when working with people. There's no way that you'll feel superior about yourself that it won't rub off on others.

Your actions and your attitude will always reflect that sense of superiority. You will find out that you will always want to downplay other systems of beliefs different from yours and you will treat people who don't share the same origin with you unfairly.

If we cannot live above the division and learn to respect one another, then we cannot live in peace. At some point, those who are offended will feel the need to retaliate and the cycle continues that way.

A popular Nigerian singer, Hadiza Blell, better known by her stage name Di'Ja, was recently attacked with a statement mocking her Hausa origin and here was her reply on Instagram:
____________________

"I can understand the anger in the country. I can understand the disappointment most are feeling. I can understand the pain WE ALL feel when you just want things to work, but I cannot understand tribalism and insults in regards to personal life, personal religion and personal choice.

Most of us are born into what we now know. THIS ISN’T EVEN AN INSULT compared to the ones I get on the daily based on being Hausa, (you don’t want to see my DMs ) but it serves a purpose for today. I did not destroy our country. WE ALL DID BY ALLOWING IGNORANCE TO PREVAIL.

Tomorrow we will insult someone for being Yoruba; the next day on being Igbo; another day on being Idoma and so on. Keep in mind HORRIBLE/BAD POLITICIANS FEED AND THRIVE OFF A DIVIDED PEOPLE. We cannot expect the government to fix problems when we can’t fix US!

You want change?! Then it is time you begin to change your mindset. SURPRISE YOURSELVES and come together regardless of your differences. It is the only technique we haven’t tried yet. It is only then can we be the change we are looking for!

This is why MUSIC is my life because it surpasses all these man made divisions. Don’t be part of the system. Live above it and watch Nigeria become NIGERIA.

I will forever be proud of who I am, where I am from and what I am on my way to become and YOU SHOULD TOO. "

_____________________

The response was simply amazing coming from a musician who understood the indispensable value of living above mere divisions.

It's very important we understand this and try to put it into practice in relating with other people because ultimately we will find out that we are not so different from one another after all.

Many people miss out on wonderful opportunities to transform their lives simply because they were biased towards other people.

Let me ask you a question: Let's say you're believe in religion A and you're in deep trouble synonymous with a matter of life or death and you need urgent help.

Would you reject help from the first person that comes to you knowing he believes in religion B? Would you even think about the person's religion at that point in time? I bet it wouldn't even matter.

But every single day, most of us allow these things matter and keep us from the possibilities of building very good relationships with others.

Your success in life may not really come from only associating with people from your tribe, family or religion. You could be motivated and inspired to achieve much more simply by contact with someone who may be so different from you.

But we keep getting ourselves stuck in divisions and keep beating about the bush in our search for personal development.

Let's try to live above these divisions and work with other people. Let's drop the judgemental attitude and let's stop making assumptions about every other person who may be different from us by virtue of religion or origin.

I hope this pricks your mind positively. Stay sharp and keep winning!

Questions Are Golden

questions are Golden

Many of us don't realize how golden our questions could be. We sometimes fail to see that asking a question could be the only thing keeping us from moving to point A from point B. We tend to be shy to ask questions because we fear that other people may see us as incompetent.

There was this young man who joined us recently at the place where I currently work. He just finished off from a well known technical school around the area and he was lucky enough to land a job with the firm.

He was so all about his knowledge and expertise in the field and kept on looking for opportunities to explain things to any of the staff members who cared to listen.

Well, we all admired the young chap and we almost believed he was as competent as he claimed. Then came his first job role; it was the most basic. He was assigned to balance weights on a car tyre to ensure that the weights were evenly distributed and the tyres won't wear off unevenly.

This guy immediately set to work instead of asking any of the staff how the machine was run. He simply believed he knew it all. As he was trying to set up the vehicle's tyre, he made a big mistake and he didn't lock in the tyre accurately..

An assistant tried to interrupt him and show him the correct way of locking it in. However, the "all knowing" dude refused to listen, so the assistant left him to continue.

I was at a corner observing him alongside other senior members of the staff. We gave ourselves knowing looks and laughed at the boy's attitude.

But the guy kept on saying that he knows what he was doing, that he had studied it in school and that we should come and check his phone to see that his procedure is online and indeed "very correct!"

No one argued with the boy. We just watched him as we already knew the outcome of his wrong setups. As expected, the automobile tyres kept giving him wrong values and he almost injured himself trying to still balance the simple tyre with more weights than even necessary. We all almost burst out into laughter at his frustration.

After he tried his best and came to accept his inability to do the task, our most senior staff had to come in. He reset the wrong arrangements of the new guy and followed the correct procedures.

What the chap couldn't do in 30 minutes, he accomplished in 2minutes. Then after he finished, he looked at the boy and only said four words: "Learn to ask questions." I think the boy learnt his lesson that day.

I shared this experience just to emphasize the importance of asking questions.

Asking questions doesn't necessarily mean you don't know (even if it does, so what?). Asking questions mean you're ready to learn new things. It means you're willing to know the best ways of doing any stuff.

Every time you pretend like you know something because you want to avoid asking a question, you run two risks:

The first one is that you may never get another better opportunity of knowing that thing.

The second is that you run the risk of embarrassment or painful mistakes when the time will come for you to do it and you can't.

If you don't want to make same mistakes over and over, please ask questions.

A philosopher once said:

'The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.'

It's better to be seen as a fool, then get to know something that you don't. Than to be seen as a wise man, then they discover you actually know nothing.

Our people say that: "Onye ajuju anaghi efu uzo" which is translated as "The one who is fond of asking questions cannot miss his way."

It's as simple as that.

Most of us who have gone to good schools and are well read are fond of making the mistake of not asking enough questions.

You may feel that by virtue of your education, you know much more than other people who may not have been so privileged to get the same education.

Then you underrate them and you refuse to ask them questions when some of them may have the keys to something you seek.

That's what's keeping many people from excelling in life. There's something you can learn from anyone. No one knows it all, no matter how well read.

Build networks with people of like minds, but never despise what you can learn from those who may look less privileged.

Don't be afraid to ask anyone questions when your mind pricks you about something.

Your success isn't far away if you learn to always ask clarifying questions. And when you get good answers, be grateful.

Bear this in mind and keep winning! 

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