Wednesday, 17 May 2017
Being successful is not guaranteed by being able to expertly follow laid out patterns or procedures established by other people. It could be important for you to know those things in your field of endeavor, but it won't be what you need to be successful.
Being creative, that is being able to create something entirely different, something new, something that has never been seen or done in a particular way before opens the doors of success to you.
You could go online or attend a seminar to find out about how to make a cake. You quickly gain the knowledge, you start making similar cakes and in time, you discover that you cannot really outshine other established cake bakers if you choose to stick to that same style because it's not new.
But on your own, with the knowledge you've got, you could challenge yourself and try to come up with a unique formula or a procedure to making a very different and rare kind of cake. You could discover how to make a cake taste more creamy or fine ways of making the icing very unique. And boom.. People start ordering for it. You become a strong competitor because you've created something different, something new!
And here's something you must know: Most people are in love with the new. They easily get tired of having the same thing over and over. They are all speculating, waiting and hungry for something new. If you can create something new that's better than the old one they are used to and has better utility. They'd come rushing for it.
Have you ever wondered why people keep changing their phones? For example, can you tell why they are eager to buy and use a new phone model which was just launched into a market? The answer is the same: They're in love with the new, creative and unique!
In whatever you do, bring in your own creativity into it. Often times, we are stuck in following same routine and same patterns and that's why we keep experiencing the same things. You'd be amazed at how things quickly change and how successful you can be when you bring in your own uniqueness and creativity in your art.
It is not difficult. Every single one of us is unique. We are different but all connected. Find out your own unique way of doing things. No one can tell you how to be unique. It is in you and you are the only one who possesses it. So tap into yourself and explore your own peculiarities. Apply it to what you do and see yourself go far.
If you're a teacher, let your own style be creative. If you make foot wears, try to experiment with creative ideas. If you are into production, keep and eye on your competitors and be creative in what you produce. Something has got to be different about the way your product is and those of other producers. You can only offer something competitive by being creative.
Stay creative and keep winning!
Tuesday, 16 May 2017
Take time to work on yourself, other things will naturally follow. It is pointless to always try to change other things because we do not have full control over everything.
But we can have full control over what we do and therefore it is most critical that we take time to develop ourselves and train our mindsets to put us in a right frame of mind to be able to face the challenges of life.
You cannot fully control the government, other people , your environment or your peculiar challenges, but you can control yourself and how you react to the things you encounter.
You find out that having a greater control over yourself and what you do helps you to be able to navigate through life with ease. You do not bother much about the actions of other people, because you understand that if you can be the best version of yourself, you are already changing the world in your own little way.
Changing the world or making it a better place doesn't have to be hard, you don't force people at gunpoint to do your bidding or forcefully try to control them. You will get to understand that taking sufficient time to work on and transform yourself has already changed the world.
So rather than point accusing fingers at every other thing but ourselves, let us look at ourselves, tell ourselves the truth and work on improving who we all are. There is always room for improvement.
Therefore, do not necessarily bother about trying to change other people or how to miraculously change your environment. If you focus on developing yourself to your maximum capabilities, you will see yourself changing those things without much stress.
If other people appear to be wicked and hostile, be a loving person in their midst. If your government doesn't care about you, care about other people in the way you can. If no one is there to teach you, you can teach yourself through study. It's not about what's happening. It's about you.
Take out time to work on yourself and you will be in a better position to make any serious changes in the world.
Sunday, 14 May 2017
I think everyone wants to be successful and happy. I've not met anyone who wants to live this life being unsuccessful, sad or unhappy. I'd be willing to stake some money if someone can show me anyone who doesn't want to be successful and happy. However, the truth is that being a success or a failure in life is dependent on the choices we make.
It's easy to want to succeed. Ask anyone around you. They all want to succeed. But it's few of them that get really successful. That should tell you that success don't come by just wanting it. The first step is the desire. 100% of the world's population can take this step. We all desire something, don't we? The second step is to be willing to work towards towards it. Most people are not willing to work for it. They're always looking for the easy way out, so most of them(about 50%)fail out at this sifting stage.
The third and most crucial stage is the test: This stage takes some time and could come in a number of ways. Here, your desire and willingness to work for what you want is tested by the fire. The fire that tests gold. This is where 40% remaining fail. And why do they fail here? Their decision to work for their desires wasn't strong enough.
The test will test your decision and your readiness in a lot of ways. It tests everything. No one with a shaky decision or desire can survive it. The 10% who pass the test are those who have proven that it's either they get that one target they crave for or nothing! They are the ones who have given all to their desire and decision. The are sure footed because they have no doubt that they really want whatever they have wanted.
You say you want to be an entrepreneur, you start your business, one to two years, things aren't moving as fast as you expected. Things are not moving fine and you seem to be lagging behind. The test is at play. The way you react now counts. Will you continue making those consistent efforts and keep smiling at your customers even when business isn't going great? Or would you easily get fed up and quit the whole thing?
You want to be a well known writer of novels, stories and plays like Shakespeare. You write your first few books and the only people who bought them were those at the launching and very few buyers in the market. You feel heartbroken. You thought this book was going to be a best seller. What do you do? Would you say to yourself: "I'm never going to be a great writer" "This shows I'm not cut out for this" or would you smile, go back to your closet, work on making your writing skills superb and try again? The Test is watching your response.
You say you love someone. And you'll love to spend the rest of your life with them. It's your decision and being a decision, the test must come. Times will come when the one you love will do something annoying, take a rash decision and piss you off. What do you do? Would you immediately back off the relationship and call it quits? Or would you try to find out why your lover has acted this way and try to understand him/her in a calm manner? The test is at play.
You say you want to come tops in your class and bag all A's. Great. Good decision. However, there will come a time when you have got to choose between studying your books and partying or playing games with friends. A few parties and games once in a while are cool. But you won't need to always go for every party school. The test will come to see if you'll choose fun and partying over your grades.
These are a few examples, whatever it is, as long as you've made a decision, the test will come around to see how far and long you're willing to stick with that decision. I only got one word for you to pass whatever tests you're facing right now: Hang on! Just hang on there and keep choosing to stick with the decision you've made. If you can hang around till the test phase is over, you made it! Few people make it to that point that's why few enjoy it.
Another thing, sometimes we're not really convinced of our decisions. The test is really doing us a great favor by letting us know those decisions that aren't strong enough. Therefore, when the test comes and you've tried to hang on, but deep within you, you don't want to hang on because of the pressure from the test, know that the decision was shaky. It wasn't a strong decision. Back off from it and go make a strong and a more committed decision linked to your purpose. You'll be glad.
Hang on, pass the test and keep winning!
Saturday, 13 May 2017
A lecturer once came into a class to teach, he started dictating notes for the students and at some point, the class started getting noisy. "Keep Quiet," He yelled and continued dictating his notes. The class became very boring and in a very short time, students became noisy and uninterested again. Some of them started fiddling with their phones and stuff. The lecturer got angry and left the class.
Another lecturer came into the same class and started to teach. He had no notes and he made every student feel at ease with his jokes. He never told them to keep quiet, the students naturally had to keep quiet because they found him interesting. It was easy to learn from his simple manner of teaching coupled with some cool jokes once in a while. The class was quiet most of the time as the lecturer effortlessly commanded their attention.
A man walks into a social gathering and starts expecting everyone to pay attention to him, he has got nothing interesting to say and he sounded like a bore. People naturally didn't care to listen. Another man walks into the same gathering and starts playing a guitar. He plays it so wonderfully well that the audience had no choice but to surround him and admire his dexterity.
A guy has been trying to get the attention of a particular girl without success. He tries many times and fails. It's not like there is anything wrong with the guy, the girl just doesn't find him interesting enough to grab her undivided attention. The guy can't just force the girl's attention, he has to make himself interesting to her in other ways.
Some people try to get the attention of other people by force. They think it's a do or die affair. They demand to be given attention when they are not saying or creating anything that demands it. You only get attention when you are able to do or create what people need. Then you will have their undivided attention without even asking.
Attention need not be asked for. Work on yourself and try to be very good in what you do. The attention will naturally come on its own. Ask yourself the question: Would you prefer to give your attention to a bore or would you give it to someone who is doing or saying something interesting?
Command attention by being an interesting person. Don't try to force it or demand it from people when you're not interesting. You need to work on yourself and focus on being an interesting, productive and creative person. The attention will then come to you on a platter! Keep winning!
Friday, 12 May 2017
You invested a lot of money into a business, turns out the business didn't go as planned and you lost everything. Well, it has happened. Instead of cursing or hating yourself and whoever introduced you into the business, it's best you don't let it eat you up. You got to understand that with renewed and smarter efforts you can still make tons of money and it's not the end of the world.
You may have been in a relationship with someone you thought was the love of your life. Everything went smoothly and wonderfully well. All of a sudden the love turns sour and there's a break up. You feel heartbroken, you feel depressed. Don't let it eat you up! It's not the end of the world either. You've learnt from the relationship and they're not the only persons in the world. You could meet better people.
You finished school and you didn't end up with the grade you wanted. You feel like a failure, you feel like you're not good enough. Don't let it eat you up! Grades on paper don't determine your destiny and your entire life. Your choices do. You can still become a successful person by finding your purpose and maximizing your talents.
Everyone is saying you're useless and valueless. No one believes in you. They don't see or have anything good to say about you. They attack you with all sorts of negative words and crap. Don't let it eat you up. Their words don't count. Your words about yourself counts. Don't believe their lies. Keep doing your best and someday they will find reasons to believe in you.
You've been searching for a job for many years without success. You feel wasted. You feel like there's no point applying. You feel depressed because you're under pressure and yet no results. Don't let it eat you up. Don't let it get into you. Just keep trying your best and believe that someday things are just going to turn around. Believe, try out other ways, reevaluate your application processes and keep trying.
You've been wanting to get married, it seems no one's coming your way. It seems all the good guys or girls are taken. You're confused. You don't know how to go about it. Family is putting pressure on you to get married. You're feel down cause you've not found the right one yet. Don't let it get to you. Take your time, the right person will come at the right time. Be yourself, be nice and be sensitive. There's nothing wrong with you, just be a bit patient..
You're on the verge of something big and someone close to you dies. It's painful, it's bitter and it hurts. But don't let it eat you up. They're dead and no amount of tears can bring them back. They will be happier if you move on with your life and stop living in the past thinking too much about them.
Whatever it is that you're encountering in your life right now, don't let it eat you up. As long as there is life and we still breathe, there is always hope. Yeah, things may seem too tough, insurmountable and unbearable, but you mustn't let it eat you up and blind you from the good options which are always available to you.
Always see the brighter side of things, smile at your problems and challenges. Don't let them eat you up, keep winning!
Wednesday, 10 May 2017
They say you're not so fine, you're not attractive enough, you're not so tall, you're not so smart, you're not rich enough and etcetera. They say you're not slim or fair enough. They say many things to you so that they can give you reasons why you're not good enough and why you won't be successful.
The big question is: What do you believe? Do you believe in what they're telling you? Do you believe that because you don't look a certain way, it means you're not attractive the way you are? Do you really believe you're not smart enough? Do you believe that because you currently don't have as much money as they have now, you won't succeed?
It's important you answer these questions and become very conscious of what you believe. Because belief plays an indispensable role in what you achieve in life. Having positive, strong and beautiful beliefs about yourself and your life helps you to have a hopeful and good state of mind. A good state of mind enables you think clearly and be willing to work towards your goals. You are responsible for your beliefs and no one else.
Don't let people around you implant limiting beliefs on you. If they say you're not looking good to them, be ready to tell yourself that you look good and attractive. You have to be willing to revert the negative things they tell you to positive ones and believe in the positive things you say to yourself. If they say you're not smart enough, be the one to tell yourself that you're smart and don't believe otherwise.. Because in the end, YOU are the ONLY one affected by YOUR beliefs!
Success is not built on how pretty or handsome you are. Some people look so good and have very attractive appearance, but they don't excel in life. Why? They didn't make the right choices. Looking good is not a guarantee to success. Do you become successful by having tons of money? Well, some people have won lotteries and gone back to abject poverty due to poor management.
It is not even by the country you come from or your family background. There are poor and rich people in every country. People from different backgrounds have the same options to become either rich or poor. So, all these beliefs about success based on anything material or physical is all nonsense. These things cannot determine how successful or how far you will go in your life.
Life is not about these things. No one will care about the color of your skin, your size or your appearance when you finally become a very successful human being. These things you may wrongly believe now about success won't count once you become a success. Life is about being the best version of yourself and becoming very successful in what you do. Success is the goal. Success in all your endeavors! No one really cares about appearance, country, religion, race and bla bla. They only care about your success.
Since your success is the goal, you must rid your mind of all negative beliefs about yourself. Maybe you've been cajoled into believing that because of the physical things you don't possess or your appearance, you won't go far in life. Maybe they are telling you something about where you come from or whatever nonsense they're trying to feed you to make you feel bad about yourself. I have one thing to tell you: Those nonsense they tell you don't count. You are the One to tell yourself what you want to tell yourself about yourself. No one else does.
Therefore, say and believe the best things about yourself and understand that the physical or material things have no role to play in how successful you become. Your mind, your focus, your choices and your dedication has everything to do with it. Now you know, keep the negative behind you always like the devil and look onto the best. The sky ain't a limit for you, bold winner!
Sometimes, you don't want to do it. You feel weak. You want to just give up. Why stress yourself everyday making effort? Why not chill out and take some time off? You know you have to do it to become one step closer to your target, but you are reluctant to do it. You're being tempted by the block!
The block is an enemy of progress designed to steal away your will power, drive and motivation to succeed. Characteristics of the block: Feeling reluctant to continue work, lazy lifestyle and attitude, becoming unconscious of goals and objectives, not paying attention to details, bad habits and etcetera.
The block is there to make you lag behind once you yield to it. The block wants you to fall into the trap of laziness. One day off is enough to kick start the full workings of the block. One day off means giving the block a chance at you. There are meant to be no days off till you hit your target. Every second, every moment, every day really counts!
Those who care about taking time off and resting because they think they've done enough or they deserve to relax don't really want to achieve their targets hard enough. They don't want it as badly as you and that's why most of them never achieve their target. You have to want your dream so badly that every fiber of your being is willing to put in the work to get there.
For a true warrior, there is no stopping and no quitting until the mission is accomplished. The block comes to deviate you away from your mission. It disguises as something good by offering you rest and recuperation, but it's true nature is evil; it comes to steal your desire and will to achieve your mission.
What you need is FOCUS and CLEAR THOUGHTS. When you have these two, you see what you want very clearly and you know exactly what you have to do to get it. If you're serious about it, you set to work and you never stop until you've conquered it. You have to be very passionate about what you want to overcome the block. Your passion for whatever you do is the fuel that keeps you going even when the block tempts you.
The block can only come when your passion isn't strong enough. It comes when you don't see your target clearly or see the tremendous benefits on achieving your objectives. It comes when you are not very conscious of certain important things. Therefore, you have to constantly remind yourself of your mission and exactly why you chose to embark on it. Let the answer you get stay embedded and imprinted onto your mind and subconscious.
Everyday you are meant to be making at least one step closer to your goals in life. You should not miss any step in the name of resting. It doesn't mean you shouldn't rest. But resting should not take away the daily input you should make in your mission. Rest should be part of your mission not a destroyer of the mission.
The only reason to rest should be to recharge your systems and gain energy to continue working towards it. The block introduces a fake kind of rest which lures you to ignore what you are still meant to do even after rest. Be very cautious and wary of this fact so that resting doesn't become a disadvantage.
Anytime, you feel like you should not do the work you're meant to do for a particular day, recognise that it's the block at work, see it as a reminder that you should strengthen yourself and push yourself to still do the work despite how you feel. Remind yourself of why you are doing it and stay conscious of your vision.
As you do this over time, you will be quick to recognise the block and destroy it before it destroys you. Always break the block and keep winning!
Monday, 8 May 2017
You only get rich when you start being conscious of money making and opportunities. You only start falling in love when you start becoming conscious of members of opposite sex.
You can only dodge something thrown your way when you are conscious and fully aware of it's position and direction. If you aren't aware, it hits you, it could injure you. Lack of consciousness puts you at the mercy of events. Consciousness helps you take charge and succeed. It enables you to see and continue aiming for your target.
Think of any part of your body, you suddenly start feeling and noticing that area. You've sent your consciousness there merely by thinking about it. Consciousness is energy. There is power in consciousness of anything at all.
Sometimes, you learn about a new word in the dictionary and somehow you start noticing the word in magazines, books etc. You weren't noticing it before because you we not conscious of it or failed to check its meaning. Your new consciousness of the word enables you to see and recognize it often than before.
If you're conscious of your goals, aspirations and dreams, you're already in a positive state where you can easily identify and take advantage of opportunities that will lead you to it. But if you're unconscious of what you want, you have no guide and no pointers to indicate any meaningful opportunities to you because you aren't conscious of where you are going.
Being conscious of ourselves, who we are, where we are going, what we want to achieve and our environment at large helps us in uncountable number of ways. We only fail because we are unconscious of things we were meant to be conscious about. We get into serious problems because we were unprepared and unconscious of anticipating such problems.
We excel because we are conscious. We excel because we know. We excel because we are constantly on our toes trying to stay observant and continue making effort which keeps us conscious. Our steadiness and consistency in consciousness is what has led the world to advance as far as it has come.
If you want to change your life, change the things you are conscious about. Change people you are conscious about, change environment you have become too conscious about, change the kind of music or movies you are conscious about. Change the kind of places you are conscious about.
Changing these things is redirecting your energy to other unidentified areas and targets. You will be shocked at how quickly your situations and experiences will change when you make a conscious effort to switch consciousness.
Note however that consciousness can work in two directions: positive or negative. Don't be too conscious of the things you do not want to see in your life. Be conscious of what you want to see. Staying conscious of too much negativity can attract it into your life. Be aware and be observant, but don't fill your consciousness with negative expectations.
Change your consciousness, change your life!
Sunday, 7 May 2017
In our society today, it is not uncommon to see men, some of whom are husbands, stay back home and do nothing. In some families, men have completely left their responsibilities for the women. This is quite shameful to say the least.
A man is meant to be dogged, active and vibrant. He is meant to take charge of the affairs of his home and ensure that he provides for his family. A man should not sit back at home and expect to eat food everyday without being able to provide for it.
No matter how worse things may be for the man, there is always something he can do at least to save the situation and try catering for his family. There is dignity in labour and there is no shame in doing an honourable legal job.
Some men have become so lazy these days incapable of taking good care of their wives and homes. Yet they feel a certain sense of pride in themselves and refuse to do certain necessary things to keep the family going because they feel they are above doing such things.
What really proves that you're a man is how well you can provide for your family. How ready you are to work, sweat and do what it takes to ensure that your family is well taken care of? Can you bend down to make the necessary sacrifice required to comfortably provide for them? Can you drop your pride and ego if absolutely necessary to work for their own good?
That's what makes a man. A man should never be found sitting at home and expect his woman to do everything. Women are doing so much taking care of the children and the home. Women are meant to be help mates or assistants to a man. They are not meant to do everything. But some men become too lazy to play their own role in their respective families that the women also start doing the work the man is meant to be doing.
What is your value as a man in the home if you cannot provide, protect and cater the needs of your own house? A man is not just about words. Your action is what tells whether you are worthy of being called a man or not. Some women have become far better than some men because those men chose to be lazy and feel on top while they're nothing.
Think about it. If you've been lazy as a man, you better change and start doing something to show you're a real man. Bend down, humble yourself, start very small if need be and do what you need to do to earn your keep. Let them laugh at you when you try, let them say what they want to say about what you want to do.. As long as it is legal and enables you to successfully provide for your family and your own needs as well, you should be proud of yourself.
Take pride in the good health and well-being of your family. Take pride in being able to provide for them no matter how tough the situation may seem. In doing this, you win their hearts forever and you establish yourself as a true man who is not lazy.
Break away from laziness, take charge, do your work diligently and be a real man everywhere you go.
Stay sharp and keep winning!
Dedicated to all fathers and prospective fathers out there..
Saturday, 6 May 2017
"Every single human being has value and my value is not determined on how I look, what job I have or where I'm from, where I was born, how much money.. All that stuff, they're nothing." - Nick Vujicic
Many people around the world today are hopeless, they're tired of this life and they don't know why they are here or what they are living for. Some of them have thought of committing suicide, while others seek to find this hope in the very wrong places.
I recently listened to a Ted Talk "Overcoming Hopelessness" by Nick Vujicic. He has no arms and no limbs, but he never lost hope. Faith in himself and an understanding of his power of choice helped him to rise above every challenge he passed through in his life.
Life must've have been very tough for this guy and really I cannot imagine what he has overcome in his life before getting where he is right now. Growing up, he must have been bullied and insulted for the way he looked without arms and legs. He may have been victimized by his peers. They may have kept of saying damaging and discouraging words to him.
But he kept on. He never let those negative words get to him. He chose to believe in himself and his ability to make a difference even in the midst of his handicap. He chose to still make something meaningful out of his life despite everything.
He didn't choose to try to fit in or go against his principles because he wanted to fit it. A lot of people do this. They go into all sorts of things just so they can feel loved by someone else or have external approval. Illicit sex, drugs and other vices appear to be something that those who have lost hope seem to cling on so they can feel loved and have some hope. But these things are empty as Nick pointed out. They do not fill that void.
The only thing that fills void is knowing who you are, having a purpose for living and defining yourself exclusively beyond what any other person thinks about you.
They may say you are ugly, not tall enough, not beautiful or slim enough, you should say to them and more importantly to yourself that you are beautiful the way you are.
They may say you are not wealthy enough or as rich as they may be. They may say you can never be as smart as they think they are or as attractive as they are. These things don't matter. You say to yourself that you can be as wealthy as you want to be if you set your mind to it and keep trying.
Nick let's us understand in his speech that love and hope are needed by everyone. Everyone is actively seeking to find hope and love, but most people seek for it in the wrong places. Faith in who you are and in what you want to achieve and always reminding yourself of your own definition of yourself, will keep you going from the inside.
You don't need to become anybody's doormat so that they can love you or say nice things about you. You don't need to try too hard to please someone so they can love you the way you are. You don't need to have sex with someone just for them to keep loving you. No. You only do that when you have an inferiority complex.
Know yourself and be your own motivator. Be the definer of who you are. Other people can encourage you or motivate you. But understand that external encouragement may not always be available. It is subject to change, so never depend on it. Depend on your internal motivation.. strongly built on concise definition of yourself according to your own terms and knowing your purpose and your self.
Today Nick is a renowned motivational speaker. He has spoken at World Economic Forum and travelled to different countries to make inspiring speeches. He's married and he has written bestselling books. His life has already inspired millions of people around the world. Nick has made his mark at least.
If Nick had given up hope, or tried to gain hope by becoming a tool controlled by other people's words. He wouldn't be where he is today. Take a clue from Nick's life. You are never hopeless. You have value beyond what anyone else thinks. Find that value and focus on your mission. You will make your mark too.
Keep winning with hope!
I was inspired to write this article because I realised that some persons are beginning to associate extremism with a particular religion or a particular group of people. Stereotypes have been created to fit certain innocent persons who belong to a particular tribe or religion as extremists. This is doing more harm than good in today's world.
An extremist is one who has zero tolerance for the views and perspectives of other people asides his own beliefs. He's ready to defend it it any way and finds it difficult to agree with anybody who thinks otherwise. Extremists usually believe that no other opinion apart from theirs is valid. This makes things very difficult for progressives who try to see things from different angles.
I do not think any religion or race has monopoly over extremism. Anyone who fits into the aforementioned description above is an extremist. It is wrong therefore to brand all adherents of a particular religion or group as extremists or terrorists because of the actions of a few.
If we are to subscribe to that form of thinking, we all would then be rightfully called extremists because of the actions of few people who claim to share our beliefs or culture. Just like calling everyone in a particular community rapists because one man in the community committed rape.
Any one can actually be an extremist. It is not exclusive to a set of people. And extremists are keeping us from evolving as a species. If you're always hell bent on your own beliefs and perceptions about any issue and you don't ever consider the perceptions of other people, you are an extremist! It doesn't matter your race or religion.
If you're intolerant of other people's opinion and you easily get offended by them, you're an extremist. If you are ready to kill anyone who doesn't share your belief system without trying to know and understand them, you're an extremist.
If you're in a relationship and you always claim to be right while your partner is always the one to blame, you're an extremist.
Rather than label people we don't even know as extremists, let us rather try in our own way to genuinely get to know those people. Some of them are not extremists as we may believe. Some of them may be progressive individuals, but are battling with the stereotype we've branded them. They may be trying to prove that they are different, but we don't even care to listen and understand them.
Extremists exist almost everywhere.. It is not exclusive. Let's all understand that, try to accommodate and get to know other people instead of stereotyping them on the outside because they belong to a particular faith.
Originally published on LinkedIn.
Thursday, 4 May 2017
Some days ago, a friend of mine told me that she wasn't happy with me because I didn't write a detailed birthday message on her Facebook timeline. Just saying Happy Birthday to her wasn't enough. And she was quite serious about it until I decided to write something special about her on her Facebook wall.
On Whatsapp groups, I've seen friends get into intense arguments which gradually starts becoming offensive or even abusive. To the extent that the parties involved get actually angry with themselves and this leads to some petty personal issues.
I've seen people fall in love on social media easily. Just through chatting with one another. And you begin to wonder how something which wasn't so real to us like the internet started becoming a part of our lives, our psychology and our emotions.
People compare their number of likes, followers and etcetera on social media. Some can decide to do things they wouldn't naturally do simply to gain some approval or "likes" on media. A person's emotion can now change simply because no one liked their post or commented on it.
I never really took social media like something real. But on my birthdays, I felt good when I read through the birthday messages on my social media accounts and the goodwill messages sent to my inbox. It felt really good and I wasn't really expecting that I could be so happy because of messages sent over the internet.
All these things made me see clearly that social media isn't something distant from our being anymore. It is becoming more real to everyone of us each passing day. We just have to live with it and make the best use of it.
As a bold winner, understanding that the internet is gradually becoming real to us as humans, you should be careful the way you project yourself on social media. You must try to never forget the little things that may seem insignificant.
A hello or hi.. Could mean a lot to someone on Facebook. A birthday message could make someone smile. The way you respond to your messages means a whole lot of things. The comments you make on other people's posts or activities could mean a lot more to them.
In a world where the internet is apparently real to humans, we must constantly be aware that our online activities implies our real activities in life and we must be conscious of the self image which we really want to put out online.
Tread careful and act carefully on the social media as you would in real life. You'd be thankful for it. Until next time, keep winning!
Sunday, 30 April 2017
I used to be that person who always puts his needs last. I only considered what other people wanted without considering my own needs. I did this because I felt I will be liked by other people or gain their admiration.
I was doing all for them and for their approval. It turned out that even though I was putting my needs behind and working for the needs of others people, I was still unhappy. I got their approval and most of them thought, "He's such a nice guy." But I wasn't happy.
The prison of what other people would say or think about me kept me behaving this way for quite some time. But then I found out I wasn't living my life. I was not doing what I wanted to. Life wasn't fun for me even though I made others happy. What was the problem?
I had to think deeply about it as it bothered me a lot. Then, somehow I figured out the answer: My own needs really matter. I didn't have to sweep those needs under the carpet while helping meet the needs of others. There was a connecting point between my needs and the needs of other people.
I could meet my own individual needs while also meeting other people's needs. It wasn't meant to be a win - lose situation. That was the problem. I was making other people happy, because I only wanted to please them, without considering my unhappy self.
I figured out that there is a way to please myself while pleasing others. This is different from being selfish because selfishness focuses on pleasing oneself even at the disadvantage of other people around you. This was beyond selfishness. It brought mutual happiness. I was happy understanding that I could still make people around me happy while honoring my own needs in any situation.
It was a win-win. It was the perfect answer. I didn't have to do things just because I needed the approval of people around me. That's important, but most importantly, I must do things because I really wanted to do them and achieve my own objective as well.
It was an eye opening moment. A moment of deep insight. I've been a happier individual ever since. Happy with life, happy with self and sharing that happiness with people around me.
Friday, 28 April 2017
If you're not too conscious about something, others won't be too conscious about it too.
A mad man isn't aware that he's naked or acting crazy. You may see him on the road for a brief moment.. You may laugh momentarily, but you don't go on thinking about the mad man or his nakedness all day. You become unconscious of him too as soon as you pass him.
The mad man isn't bothered or worried as he's unconscious of himself.
What are you too conscious about in your life?
Some people are too conscious of their skin color, their height, their size, a torn cloth or anything at all. They keep these things in their consciousness for too long that indeed other people start noticing it.
Your cloth is torn and you start walking or sitting somehow.. people will become interested in finding out why you are walking or sitting that way.
You are short and everywhere you go you keep referring to your height. More people will notice, some of whom didn't care about it before.
Are you fat? Do you think the world cares about your size? It's only when you think other people only see you're fat that you start worrying about it. No one cares. Fat people are making it and becoming celebrities. You think anyone really looks at their size?
Whatever it is that you are too conscious about, learn to be free from holding onto it too much in your mind. Nobody thinks about your height all day or your torn cloth for 24 hours.
I mean.. people are not stupid. They have other things to worry about and think about. Why are you thinking that the whole world is looking at you or any of your defects? They aren't. Your own consciousness of it is what is deceiving you. Let it go.
Think about it. Keep winning!
Monday, 17 April 2017
I never liked football and sometimes, I wonder what men like in the game. The worst part of it is that I don't really like green, so the colour of the field even turns me off. But one day, i decided to watch a football match and a force just got me interested and i fell In love with it.
Ironically, I was not watching it with the same mindset as every football lover would watch a football match which is to know if a particular team(Chelsea or Arsenal) will win. Rather, I watched every thing that was actually going on in the field and studied it carefully.
I noticed that before the match starts, each team will pray. And so once the game begins, every player would focus on the ball, I saw the passion with which every player strived to get the ball. Even when a player is with the ball, other opponent players will dribble him just to snatch that ball but he must face them and dribble them as well and try to pass the ball to his team player, why? Because he trusts that they have the same mission.
Meanwhile, the commentators will always be telling the world who is doing badly, who almost did well and who actually did well. I noticed that each team has a coach and you can tell if a player is doing well on the field by the look on his face. But then, even though they work as a team, only players who score a goal will be announced and celebrated ; even the headlines will pick it up for example, "Ronaldo just scored the first goal."
Meanwhile, there are rules, if you break the rules, you will get a red card. If a player could not do well in the first half, they get a another chance in the second half. So there is so much work to do on that field, any player that goes to play with no determination and focus on the ball will never be recognised except by football fans who will help blow the trumpet "that guy, very sluggish, he cant even play, he should be thrown out ; he is a disgrace"
I hear this very well from football fans.
And then, this got me inspired.
I likened a football match with life journey to destiny.
Every player will pray before the match starts but only those who work hard enough will be celebrated.
So if you decide to pray all night with no hard work, you are going no where. Every player is passionate about scoring a goal and so he does not take his eyes off the ball. How passionate are you towards achieving your goals in life? Or are you nonchalant and aimless in life?
Players are dribbled but they stay focussed on retaining the ball, they do not just allow the opponents collect the ball. In life, you will get a lot of distractions trying to take your eyes off your goals, do you allow that? You should refuse to get distracted. When players are dribbled, they try to pass the ball to their fellow team player. In life, do you have the right friends who are on the same page with you? I mean good friends who want to see the best in you and try to encourage you to pursue your goals?
Commentators talk about every activity on the field... Do you know that you are being watched by a number of people and what you do will be publicly announced? The coach watches his players play and he frowns when they are taking the wrong moves on the field. God is your coach in life; Are you striving to impress Him or you are making Him frown at you?
A player will only be recognised and celebrated if he scores a goal, are you striving to make great impact and achieve your goals in life? Players who mess up get a red card.. How diligent are you in your service? Are you misbehaving when you should be serious minded? There is always a second half, an opportunity to do better but once the whistle is blown, that's the end.
Are you making use of opportunities that come your way or you think you have all day?
Just like the football match, you have so much work to do in the field of life.
Be focused on your goal,
Be time conscious
Make the right friends
And strive towards greatness.
Live your life like you are in a football match.
~Beautifully written by: Eno Sam
Most people have a thousand and one excuses why they are living a crappy life. You hear people say things like: "I wasn't born into a very wealthy family like X," "I'm not as beautiful or good looking as Y," "There are no opportunities around me like those in country Z," "I'm not loved like or by X," etcetera.
Many people make up different excuses to explain or justify why they are still living in a disadvantageous state. The plain truth is that there is always an excuse available. You can always make up an excuse for anything at any time. Hence, if one becomes too used to making excuses, it becomes hard to overcome the habit because one never runs out of excuses.
This turns out very dangerous to us. Living a life filled with excuses is only a gateway to failure and shows a high level of irresponsibility. There are really no excuses needed to live a successful life. A successful life, I think, is a life that enables the individual live happily and genuinely make positive impact on the lives of many others.
To really become successful and happy individuals, we must to stop making excuses to explain any unfavorable situation we may find ourselves. Making excuses only implies that our situation is "justified" by the excuse. Therefore, whenever you make an excuse, you simply say, "This is the reason why I am here, I cannot do anything about it."
A life of "no excuses" is the life of a bold winner. A bold winner doesn't make excuses and hardly talks about his/her negative or unfavorable situation. Expert bold winners are even oblivious of adverse situations. They make no excuses, but rather continue to press for their desired goals, dreams, targets and aspirations. They understand that excuses are for losers. A winner needs no excuse. They focus on winning and they don't need excuses to win.
If you've been making any recurrent excuses in your life, make it a point of duty today to quit and discard whatever excuses you may have in your life. It is limiting you and stalling your progress. Learn to take responsibility for whatever situation you find yourself and continue to do what you can to turn it around and get to your desired destination.
If you do this, you have become a true bold winner and our winning never ends. Keep winning!
Thursday, 13 April 2017
Often times in our lives when we are not achieving the results that we expect while working towards anything, we tend to feel sad, unhappy and depressed. Whenever we put in our very best and the outcome doesn't look very good, we easily lose our hope and we ask ourselves, "what's the point?"
When you look at those people around you, it may appear that most or all of them are seemingly getting it right and they have made significant accomplishments and achievements. But when you look at yourself, it seems as if you have a long way to go. You begin to feel terrible about your own life and you wonder if life is playing a sort of joke on you. You start asking, "What is happening to me?"
I want to share this with you if you've ever felt that way, if you're about to lose hope, if you're fed up with your own challenge, if you've lost your joy(the joy of living) or if you ever felt like giving up because of the present situation of things. And here it goes:
You can choose to stay happy in these situations. You can be happy and it is very important that you stay happy even when things don't look so promising. I've come to learn that life constantly tests us and whatever challenge we face is testing every one of us to see how strong we can withstand the storm and the harsh realities of life.
You can throw in the towel when this test comes your way. You can back off, grumble and complain. You can become unhappy, lose your motivation or accept defeat. You can do these things and prove to life that you are not worth it and you do not have what it takes to come out tops. If you choose to do these, you've failed the test and your situation won't change.
You can also choose to stay happy in these challenges you face. You can choose to pick up your sword and continue to fight your way through the tests of life. Life will keep coming at you with stronger tests, but you can choose to continue to fight by continuing to try and staying happy in the process. When you stay happy, you put your tests and challenges in a dilemma. They wonder: "Why are you still happy even when you're passing through these things?"
You are already winning because you are confusing those challenges coming at you. It will mean that you are confident that those tests have no power over you and you are certain that will pass through them successfully. Believe me, those challenges will pass over when you maintain your happiness.
Happiness attracts happiness. I believe the world will be a better place if everyone of us is happy doing what we do. When we are happy despite our different predicaments, we are motivated to keep doing what we do with passion. We continue to try and our success is guaranteed whenever we keep trying.
Therefore, try your best to stay happy in anything you are doing. In whatever situation you find yourself, don't let yourself get so down that you lose your joy and your smile. Keep doing what you can do and keep trying your best in happiness. You will see your dreams come true before your very eyes.
If you're not happy doing anything, it is better you don't even start doing it in the first place. If you do anything out of unhappiness, you tend to do it haphazardly and the output won't be very nice.
Choose to be happy no matter the situation of things out there. It is only our unrelenting happiness even in the midst of our tests that proves to life that indeed we are worth it and we can withstand the storm. We pass the test by staying happy and doing our best at all times. When we pass the test, we get exactly what we want.
Friday, 7 April 2017
In this world, some of us think that we should do exactly what another person has done or follow exactly another person's path. We want to study the course another person studied, even when we don't like it. We want a job another person has got even when we are not talented to do the job. We want to do things in the same way another person did it. We want to be experts in another person's field and etcetera.
We continue to struggle to be like someone else or do what someone else does and in the process we forget ourselves and our uniqueness. We are not all meant to be Doctors, who will be the patient? Who will rule? Who will defend the country? Neither are we all meant to be footballers, not everyone is born with the natural talent.
Should we all be comedians? Who will be laughing at our jokes? Should we all become presidents? Who will lead? Or maybe we all should become bloggers, who will read our blogs? Lol. I believe you are gradually getting my point right now.
You shouldn't just try to be what another person is. You should rather try to discover your own special talents and work earnestly towards being yourself. If you should check out the lives of very successful people, you will find out that they share one thing in common: they carve out their own way and they do things differently. They are able to do so because they are not focused on copying another person, they are simply being themselves.
We are not all meant to go into same things. We are just created that way to be good in certain things and not so good in other ones. We tend to like some things and dislike another one. Therefore, pay attention to yourself and be honest with what you like and what you're good in.
Look, we are all champions in that field which we have been designed for. No one is born or created to be a loser. A loser is simply someone who has not found his place in the world and discovered his strengths. The only time you start losing is when you abandon what you are designed for and start forcing yourself to be like someone else designed for an entirely different thing.
You are you. And you must come to terms with that and respect yourself. Now this article doesn't say you should not admire the qualities of some people, by all means, you should admire the lives of great and distinguished men and women. But DON'T try to COPY them.
Learn from them and use the knowledge to improve and BE YOURSELF. You can do it better than them. You can do something that those you admire never thought of. If you focus on copying them, you fail to explore the territories that ONLY you can explore.
You must have fully understood me by now. If you find that special niche meant for you or that unique part of existence that you're meant to fill, you will always be happy in whatever you do. You will not struggle with work because everyday you are happy doing what you do in your special niche.
Don't make yourself worried, sad or unhappy by abandoning your space and trying to be someone else. It doesn't work out that way. Discover yourself, know who you are, know what you really want to do and relentlessly go for it with passion. Nothing can stop you. And always remember: We are not meant to do the same things!
Wednesday, 5 April 2017
If you're like most people, you'd be very reluctant to admit your weaknesses, imperfections or flaws. You'd like to pretend to be perfect even when deep down you know you're not.
The reason behind this is psychological and ego based. We all want to appear perfect, blameless and impeccable to other people around us. That's why we like pushing the blame outside ourselves.
The danger in this instinctive attitude is that it actually does more harm than good to your efforts at succeeding and achieving your objectives.
The biblical story of the Pharisee and the tax collector kind of illustrates the danger in this attitude. Both men went into the same temple to pray to God.
The Pharisee was busy claiming to be perfect and boasting of how different he is from the 'sinners'. He was so proud of his virtues forgetting that no matter what, there is always room for progress.
The tax collector was more real. He already started by admitting the truth that he had sinned and was deserving of God's mercy. And he went home justified with his prayer was answered.
If we really want to succeed, we must build our foundation on truth and an honest admittance of our flaws and mistakes. If we've been lazy, we've got to admit it. If we don't know how to do something, there is no point pretending to know it and look stupid. We have to admit our ignorance and humble ourselves to learn.
Claiming to be what you're clearly not stagnates you. It keeps you in the same position while you keep deceiving yourself with your false sense of pride. If you don't like your job, your relationship and your current situation, you must be honest to admit it. No need to pretend and give reasons why you're stuck there.
Whenever we come to accept our weaknesses, it immediately empowers us and frees our mindset to work on them. We begin to see ourselves making genuine effort to utilise our time in becoming better individuals.
I'd recommend an exercise for you. Stand in front of a mirror, look at yourself very well and tell yourself the whole truth about yourself, your present situation and where you want to be. Ensure to tell yourself the weaknesses you have and you need to work on. Don't be shy, trying to hide them hinders you. So say it out loud to yourself. And genuinely resolve to work on them.
The exercise is simply empowering. Whenever you do that, you're no longer afraid of people discovering your flaws or talking about it. You'll become free to work on yourself and achieve your dreams without trying so hard to paint yourself as perfect.
So, be true to yourself. You're not living in this world to prove to anyone that you're perfect. No one even cares about whatever you're claiming to be and what you want to prove. Rather the world cares about what you have to offer, what you can contribute to make life better here.
It's pointless wasting your energy on pretence and camouflage. Be yourself, open yourself up to others. Let them see what they want to see. Let them praise you or curse you. It doesn't matter! What matters is that you've got nothing to hide and you've become free to take full responsibility of your life.
I sincerely hope that this article will be of benefit to at least one person.
Till next time,
Be true to yourself and keep winning.
Monday, 3 April 2017
How do you see the world? What kind of a place do you believe the world to be? What do you think about everyone else? These questions are necessary for you to answer because the way you see things play a crucial role in what you tend to experience.
Some people tend to have a very negative view about life and if you take a closer look at them, they tend to get exactly what they believe in. Take for example someone who believes that everyone else is out to get them. This person believes strongly that no one else really cares about them and everyone wants to rip them off. This state of mind makes them react negatively to people who may genuinely want to help them.
Their reaction towards those people makes those people turn away from them and leave them on their own. And when these people turn away angrily, the one with the negative belief about people in his heart will say, "Yes, I said it. They have gone away because they do not really care about me." And inside his heart, he confirms this wrong belief.
This is a sort of vicious circle that goes on and on for him solidifying his negative beliefs. Note that what drove those good willing persons away was not that they were really out to get this person, but rather it was due to the person's reaction towards them. The reactions were as a result of the individual's negative beliefs about them.
Another person may believe that there are no opportunities in the world for them. This person with this view about life will not recognise opportunities around him because he believes otherwise. He will even pass up on great chances that are brought to his knowledge because he sees the world poorly.
How about those who believe that everyone around them is wicked, hateful or evil? They tend to only see wickedness and experience it often times because the way they choose to see other people affects the way they react to them. And it is usually offensive.
Think about this for a moment. Those who see the world in a beautiful way tend to see the beauty in everything. It's doesn't mean that they are not discerning to know when they should be careful. They see and understand everything, but they chose to still see life in a positive light. This keeps them experiencing the best.
The way you see the world is the way the world shows itself to you. Yes, there are good things and bad things happening, but always choose to continue recognising the good things and seeing opportunities around you.
No matter how bad things may appear to be, always maintain a positive outlook that things will always get better. This outlook is what moves you to react positively to life which leads to positive results. Don't let the negativity make you lose sight of the good.
Always see the brighter side. Don't let the downside of life steal away your motivation. Stay sharp and keep that beautiful outlook on life steady. You will see things changing in your life in beautiful ways.
Just see the world positively.