Showing posts with label self development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self development. Show all posts

Friday, April 28, 2017

What are you too conscious of?

If you're not too conscious about something, others won't be too conscious about it too.
A mad man isn't aware that he's naked or acting crazy. You may see him on the road for a brief moment.. You may laugh momentarily, but you don't go on thinking about the mad man or his nakedness all day. You become unconscious of him too as soon as you pass him.

The mad man isn't bothered or worried as he's unconscious of himself.
What are you too conscious about in your life?
Some people are too conscious of their skin color, their height, their size, a torn cloth or anything at all. They keep these things in their consciousness for too long that indeed other people start noticing it.

Your cloth is torn and you start walking or sitting somehow.. people will become interested in finding out why you are walking or sitting that way.
You are short and everywhere you go you keep referring to your height. More people will notice, some of whom didn't care about it before.

Are you fat? Do you think the world cares about your size? It's only when you think other people only see you're fat that you start worrying about it. No one cares. Fat people are making it and becoming celebrities. You think anyone really looks at their size?
Whatever it is that you are too conscious about, learn to be free from holding onto it too much in your mind. Nobody thinks about your height all day or your torn cloth for 24 hours.

I mean.. people are not stupid. They have other things to worry about and think about. Why are you thinking that the whole world is looking at you or any of your defects? They aren't. Your own consciousness of it is what is deceiving you. Let it go.

Think about it. Keep winning! 

Friday, April 7, 2017

We Are Not Meant To Do The Same Things

We are not meant to do the same things

In this world, some of us think that we should do exactly what another person has done or follow exactly another person's path. We want to study the course another person studied, even when we don't like it. We want a job another person has got even when we are not talented to do the job. We want to do things in the same way another person did it. We want to be experts in another person's field and etcetera.

We continue to struggle to be like someone else or do what someone else does and in the process we forget ourselves and our uniqueness. We are not all meant to be Doctors, who will be the patient? Who will rule? Who will defend the country? Neither are we all meant to be footballers, not everyone is born with the natural talent.

Should we all be comedians? Who will be laughing at our jokes? Should we all become presidents? Who will lead? Or maybe we all should become bloggers, who will read our blogs? Lol. I believe you are gradually getting my point right now.

You shouldn't just try to be what another person is. You should rather try to discover your own special talents and work earnestly towards being yourself. If you should check out the lives of very successful people, you will find out that they share one thing in common: they carve out their own way and they do things differently. They are able to do so because they are not focused on copying another person, they are simply being themselves.

We are not all meant to go into same things. We are just created that way to be good in certain things and not so good in other ones. We tend to like some things and dislike another one. Therefore, pay attention to yourself and be honest with what you like and what you're good in.

Look, we are all champions in that field which we have been designed for. No one is born or created to be a loser. A loser is simply someone who has not found his place in the world and discovered his strengths. The only time you start losing is when you abandon what you are designed for and start forcing yourself to be like someone else designed for an entirely different thing.

You are you. And you must come to terms with that and respect yourself. Now this article doesn't say you should not admire the qualities of some people, by all means, you should admire the lives of great and distinguished men and women. But DON'T try to COPY them.

 Learn from them and use the knowledge to improve and BE YOURSELF. You can do it better than them. You can do something that those you admire never thought of. If you focus on copying them, you fail to explore the territories that ONLY you can explore.

You must have fully understood me by now. If you find that special niche meant for you or that unique part of existence that you're meant to fill, you will always be happy in whatever you do. You will not struggle with work because everyday you are happy doing what you do in your special niche.

Don't make yourself worried, sad or unhappy by abandoning your space and trying to be someone else. It doesn't work out that way. Discover yourself, know who you are, know what you really want to do and relentlessly go for it with passion. Nothing can stop you. And always remember: We are not meant to do the same things!

Keep winning! 

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Be True To Yourself!

If you're like most people, you'd be very reluctant to admit your weaknesses, imperfections or flaws. You'd like to pretend to be perfect even when deep down you know you're not.
The reason behind this is psychological and ego based. We all want to appear perfect, blameless and impeccable to other people around us. That's why we like pushing the blame outside ourselves.
The danger in this instinctive attitude is that it actually does more harm than good to your efforts at succeeding and achieving your objectives.
The biblical story of the Pharisee and the tax collector kind of illustrates the danger in this attitude. Both men went into the same temple to pray to God.
The Pharisee was busy claiming to be perfect and boasting of how different he is from the 'sinners'. He was so proud of his virtues forgetting that no matter what, there is always room for progress.
The tax collector was more real. He already started by admitting the truth that he had sinned and was deserving of God's mercy. And he went home justified with his prayer was answered.
If we really want to succeed, we must build our foundation on truth and an honest admittance of our flaws and mistakes. If we've been lazy, we've got to admit it. If we don't know how to do something, there is no point pretending to know it and look stupid. We have to admit our ignorance and humble ourselves to learn.
Claiming to be what you're clearly not stagnates you. It keeps you in the same position while you keep deceiving yourself with your false sense of pride. If you don't like your job, your relationship and your current situation, you must be honest to admit it. No need to pretend and give reasons why you're stuck there.
Whenever we come to accept our weaknesses, it immediately empowers us and frees our mindset to work on them. We begin to see ourselves making genuine effort to utilise our time in becoming better individuals.
I'd recommend an exercise for you. Stand in front of a mirror, look at yourself very well and tell yourself the whole truth about yourself, your present situation and where you want to be. Ensure to tell yourself the weaknesses you have and you need to work on. Don't be shy, trying to hide them hinders you. So say it out loud to yourself. And genuinely resolve to work on them.
The exercise is simply empowering. Whenever you do that, you're no longer afraid of people discovering your flaws or talking about it. You'll become free to work on yourself and achieve your dreams without trying so hard to paint yourself as perfect.
So, be true to yourself. You're not living in this world to prove to anyone that you're perfect. No one even cares about whatever you're claiming to be and what you want to prove. Rather the world cares about what you have to offer, what you can contribute to make life better here.
It's pointless wasting your energy on pretence and camouflage. Be yourself, open yourself up to others. Let them see what they want to see. Let them praise you or curse you. It doesn't matter! What matters is that you've got nothing to hide and you've become free to take full responsibility of your life.
I sincerely hope that this article will be of benefit to at least one person.
Till next time,
Be true to yourself and keep winning.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

A Practical Guide To Quit Porn For Good

I don't need to start defining what pornography is to you, why humans are attracted to it and how it affects the brain. You can use Google to find them out. I believe why you are reading this article is simply to find out how you can end the desire to see pornography for good. That's what I'm going to FOCUS on. No distractions.

Almost everyone who uses the internet knows what porn is, even though we'd like to pretend that it's not there, but we all know it's there.

The internet is one of the best things invented on earth and has led to quick exchange of information across nations and beyond borders.

Ideally, things should be improving rapidly based on this development, but guess what? Few people are actually using that internet for something useful. Many have been drawn to the dark side of the net where pornography lives.

Web statistics really show that a lot more people are spending more time viewing porn sites and the number is increasing.

Enough of the pretense, many people are also challenged with the addiction to pornography, but few speak out and many keep pretending not to know.

 Pornography has led many ills in our society ranging from inefficiency, laziness, rape, high rate of premarital sex, moral decadence, unwanted pregnancies, time wasting, and loss of focus.

It's silently robbing creative minds of their ability to properly control themselves and make useful impact to society.

The problem of pornography is not solved by clearing your browser history, deleting the videos or images after viewing them and uninstalling your apps.

These things only hide the underlying problem and that’s why it has been difficult for you to break free from it. To solve any problem, we must be able to trace the cause and tackle it from there.

The major causes of pornography addiction are idleness, lack of exercise, reduced will power, lack of self-control, depression, lack of purpose and direction, unclear life intents and goals, unbridled curiosity, poor control over the kind of music you listen to and films you watch.

This article was written with these causes in mind and simple practices to correct them. Always remember that any amount of time, data or money spent on pornography is really a waste.

There are no quick fixes to quit the addiction to see pornography. Most of you will like to scan this article as fast as possible and "KNOW" the secret to quitting porn.

But knowing something is not enough if you can't practice it and see results for yourself. I can't promise that you'll quit pornography in one day or two.

However, I can guarantee you that if you take time to carefully read this and read in between the lines, while practicing what you find here; you will certainly quit pornography for good and see it for what it really is.

Understand that your activities and personal cooperation are very important and very much required from you to be successful with overcoming it.

Don’t just read the article; make it a point of duty to take the suggested actions towards it. This will require some measure of mental and physical preparations which will be elaborated on here. My sincere wish is that this article helps you continually win the war against pornography.

Mental Preparation

Before you take any action, it must have existed in your mind first. You have to entertain the thought first and decide whether to go ahead with the action or not. Same for pornography: the conscious mind convinces you beyond reason to go ahead and view porn, before you actually view it. Therefore, the first step in overcoming pornography is mental and this will require you to make a firm decision as explained in the action steps.

Some may argue that they don’t have to think about yielding to porn and they just find themselves doing so. Why they think so is simply because conscious repetition puts the mind in auto-pilot. That is: if you have been using your conscious mind to allow yourself view pornography over and over again, it will get to a point where your mind forms a mental habit of always accepting to see it subconsciously.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t think about it. Repetition has made it seem so because of previous patterns and habits. Good news is that you can break away from this pattern, no matter how deep or automatic it has become.

The only catch is that the deeper the pattern, the harder it is to fight it when you start practicing. But trust me, it’s only hard in the beginning and it gets easier with your victories.

Some others want to argue that pornography helps them to learn about how to have sex. This is a deception. If you wanted to learn how to brush your teeth, do you need to download a new video every time to learn how to do so?

If indeed the reason to watch porn is to learn how to have sex, then why didn’t you stop at the first pornographic material you ever saw? Have you ever wondered about how human beings learnt and knew how to have sex before the internet, media, magazines and other outlets came into existence?

The ability to have sex is already built into us as a natural human instinct. Hence, claiming that pornography teaches you how to have sex is an attempt to hide the danger it portends.

Action Steps

Think deeply about why you really want to quit pornography and Make a strong decision right now that you’re going to stop seeing pornography.

You can say it out loud or write it down, but before you do so, you have to think deeply about it and then try to make that decision with a strong conviction that you will actually stop it.

Take as long as it takes to really think about it before you decide. Your reasons for deciding to quit pornography must be very strong; so strong that you will not like to ever go back to it. Now, this may not be so easy for some of you to do.

Ask yourself a deep question. Why do you really want to stop watching porn? Take out time to figure this out and write it down. Think of the very worst things about porn. The vileness, the filthiness in it, the time it wastes and the distraction.

The fact that you found this article already means you are serious about quitting porn. There must be a strong reason for that. Porn may have made you lazy, inefficient, broke, boring, inactive, feel guilt, it may have become so addictive that you can't seem to stop it; it may have taken control of your life. Write down the strongest reasons why you want to stop it.

Think of what you want to achieve by quitting pornography. Will it give you a better control over your life? Will it help you study more? Will it make you more efficient and active? Will it free up your mind to absorb and come up with brilliant ideas?

Will your relationships with other human beings be more fulfilling and loving? List out everything you want to achieve by quitting porn. These lists will be your motivators anytime the urge becomes too strong. So keep these handy and pick up a convenient time every day to look at them for some time.

It will remind you of why you DECIDED to quit pornography. And if you can be consistent in reminding yourself why you want to stop it and what you want to achieve, you've already won half the battle.

The more you're conscious of why you want to stop pornography, your will to stop it will be strengthened. Why you sometimes fall back after the desire to stop is that you forget. Forgetting can make you fail. So remind yourself always.

Now you may be thinking "I've taken the decision to quit many times before, but I keep falling back." The question I'd ask you is "How STRONG was your decision?"

Was your decision strong enough to make you see pornography as a threat to your success, dreams and aspirations? Was it strong enough to make you plan and be very careful about every action you take?

Was it strong enough to make you forfeit certain things so you can actually break away? My guess is NO. Taking a FIRM decision is NOT so easy. It's not just about saying the words. If you think DECISION is all about words, then you've been missing the whole point.

If you're serious about quitting porn, you must believe that you CAN. Some people have given up on fighting it because they don't see the point. They've been trying and failing, so why should they bother again.

These people give up and let pornography ruin their lives. Giving up on this fight means that you're saying "I can't control myself. I'm weak and can't stop it" That's what you say whenever you give up. Truth is: You can actually stop viewing pornography.

You may have your doubts right now. But here I want you to just believe that you and say these words aloud: "I can actually quit pornography." Say it again and say it like you mean it. Believe me, after going through this article and following the practices, you will overcome it.

This action step is there to break all the limiting beliefs you may have about this addiction.

Taking a strong DECISION to quit pornography requires deep reflection and thought. You have to sit down and really think about pornography and see it for what it really is. You just sit down and look at how ugly it is. You must sit down and figure out why you're interested in it in the first place.

Look at your life, relationships, your dreams and aspirations. See how it is limiting your progress in various areas of your life. Think of what you really want to do with your life and see how pornography distracts you from this goal. Pornography steals your time. What on earth is gained by pornography? Answer is nothing. It just wastes your bloody time. And time is money.

Do you feel like you’re powerless over it? I just want you to take my word for it that no matter how powerless you may feel as regards quitting pornography, if you can stay with me till the end of this article, believe that you can actually do this and take the action steps suggested seriously, you will gain tremendous power over it. I’m not just saying it. I want you to simply believe what I’m telling and practice what is recommended here and you will see for yourself.

To be able to bring yourself to find stronger reasons to back up your decision making process, answer the questions:

How do you feel after watching porn? Do you feel great about yourself? What do you gain by it? How has watching pornography helped you achieve our life’s purpose? Why spend precious time watching people have sex?

Can you really say you achieved anything reasonable by watching porn? What has porn taken away from you: your time, focus, relationships with real people, money, energy, focus and mental acuity?

Think of all the possible things you could've done or achieved with time spent on porn. You could have studied more, earned better grades, made more feasible plans in your business, had more fulfilling relationships and even come up with a brilliant idea or a solution to a problem. But look what porn has done; it had stolen your time and made you think more often about sex than you should.

Write down the answers to these questions. Having very strong answers to these questions will give you enough reasons to stick with your decision to quit porn anytime the temptation comes.

Also write down a comprehensive list of all the things you will like to achieve by quitting pornography. All these should make up for sufficient reasons why you will like to quit. Hence our list should include what you’ll love to achieve and what pornography is stealing from you.

As I said, if you’re serious about taking your life back from the dirty hands of this addiction, you must be willing to come up with very strong reasons.

Reasons that will make you really hate pornography and detest it as much as possible. And this is done best by systematically thinking about all the things pornography has robbed you of. One of these reasons should be that addiction to pornography is a strong sign of laziness and lack of clear directions or intent.

Do not proceed if you have not spent quality time in carrying out this exercise. When the reasons have been listed out on paper, make it a point of duty to go through them immediately you wake up and just before you go to bed.

The truth is that it's not so easy. Nothing worthwhile comes very easily. You'll be ready to really put in work for it. I think it's worthwhile to put in the work right now and have a focused and decisive life rather than let the addiction to pornography control and destroy your whole life. I think a smart person will be willing to sacrifice certain things for his/her ultimate happiness.

Whatever worthwhile you want to achieve in this life, you must be willing to put in work, pay the price and make the necessary sacrifice for it. Anybody telling you otherwise is trying to deceive you. Breaking free from pornography will require your commitment, time, dedication and devotion. You must be prepared to practice and continue with the other action steps suggested in this article and keep on practicing. I tell you determination and consistency is the key to it.

Physical Preparation

If you have really gone through the mental preparation and followed the steps suggested therein, you are already winning the battle because you’ve started from the origin which is the mind. However, our physical environment always creates impressions on the mind whether we are conscious of this or not.

The things you see around you, the things you hear, the environment or physical situations you find yourself in all have a way of influencing the mind. t

You have to consciously take control of your environment if you don’t want the mind to be overcome again by the urge. The more control you have over your body, the things you choose to see, hear or experience, the greater your will power, which will help you stick to your decision.

You must see this as a war. It's a serious war you're facing. This war will never end; you just have to continue winning it. Pornography is trying to ruin you and you're fighting to take your life back from its ugly clasp. You must be prepared physically too, but how?

Before I proceed to the steps needed in the physical preparations, I will like to make something clear: The brain works in such a way that when you do something over and over again, it creates a kind of automatic connection to that thing and increases the urge for you to do it again... and if this continues like that for a long period of time, it will seem as if you have no control over it. But you still actually do, just that it has become very weak.

To reverse that urge to repeat these bad habits, you have to consciously stop doing that thing. It is very difficult at first, but once you continue rejecting the idea of doing it for over a period of time. The brain naturally weakens that link and you gain your full control again.

Be prepared to resist the urge to see pornography for as many times as you’ve ever seen it and beyond.

Action Steps

1. Be selective about the kind of music, films or books you read.

What kind of movies do you love to see and what kind of music do you listen to? Do you watch too much movies that are sexually charged? Do you listen to music that is always sex themed?

If you're serious about this deal, then you must be selective in the kind of movies and music you choose to play. Remember it starts from your mind. If your battle is strong at the mind level, you're already winning the war. To strengthen your mind, you must not feed it with things that suggests and triggers the urge to view pornography.

Go through your music folder. Delete music which is focused on sex and vulgarity. Download fresh music that can inspire or motivate you to be a better person. Stop playing music which does not have a good impact on you well-being.

The movies you watch too can trigger the urge to see pornography. You have to quickly scan through movies before you decide to watch them, so you can have an idea of the kind of content it has. There are websites too like and which offer movie reviews to help you know if a movie contains some content you may not like to see.

Some books too are not good for you. They keep your mind focused on sex all the time and can trigger the urge to view pornography. You must be on guard and be careful about what you let your mind consume.

So draw out a plan to discard any movies, books or music which you know can trigger these thoughts. And replace them only with the ones that can help improve your life.

2. Exercise your body

A sound mind lives in a sound body. Do have a regular exercise routine? Do you take some time exercise your body? Do you engage your body into something?

You need to engage yourself with an exercise that develops your body and improves your health. There are many of them out there; you can go swimming, play tennis, basketball, hit the gym, and play football or any other sport.

You can easily learn any of them as well. Make a plan right now to regularly participate in any sport of your choice. This will keep your body healthy and your mind sharply focused.

3. Go out more and hang out with people

There is a greater chance of wanting to see pornography when you are alone. Learn to go out and engage with other people. Don’t spend most of your time alone.

We are social creatures and as such it is important to connect, socialize and meet with real human beings. Push yourself to make out time for real social activities. This will improve your mental health and keep you away from pornography.

4. Make a list of the things you will love to learn how do

This is very important. A key point in overcoming the urge to see pornography is keeping your mind actively engaged and working on something always. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.

Therefore anytime your mind is not occupied with something positive, negative thoughts will find time to creep in. Therefore make a good list of many things you will like to learn. You can add things you also want to improve yourself on. The list may include: good books you’ll like to complete, places you’ll like to visit, courses you’ll love to learn etc.

Make this list and everyday work towards crossing something out of the list. You’ll be amazed at the many things you will learn how to do just by doing this. If your mind is actively engaged in productive pursuits and endeavors, there will simply be no time to see porn.

The Battle Secrets

The physical and mental preparation were designed to prepare you physically and mentally so that you will be fit to go into battle. If you have successfully gone through them, then you are ready for the battle, so please proceed else go back and prepare.

Now you are mentally and physically prepared. Your mindset has changed, you’ve made some changes in your physical environment, and you’ve set your goals and outlined things you’ll love to achieve. I will now go further to reveal the keys to overcoming the urge when temptation strikes.

Action Steps:

1. Operation “Fry the thought”

The thought and the need to see pornography can only enter your mind when you are idle and not thinking about anything productive. This is why I previously suggested one of the major steps you're overcome pornography is to engage yourself in real life activities.

Visit your friends, go out and learn how to play a game, offer to take someone out, read up on how to improve your work, read books that can help you, play interesting games. Always engage your mind with things that are helpful and things that won't trigger lustful thoughts.

It happens that sometimes, our minds may not always be engaged, especially when we are at rest. At this point different things can creep in including the desire to see porn. Here's where operation fry the thought comes into play.

Whenever you're at rest and a thought comes to you to see porn, fry the thought immediately by either channeling your mind to something else, saying a word that will help you remember, or immediately getting up to do something else.

Words can be anything from "I reject you" "Get behind me" "To hell with it" or whatever suits you. Anything that will eliminate the thought and remind you of your reasons and your decision is welcome.

It is important that any slightest thought to see pornography is dismissed immediately. The more time these thoughts stay in your mind, the greater the chances that you will be convinced to see it, so you must not tolerate any thought that pushes you to see pornography.

Fry it by thinking something else, saying something else, or getting up to do something else. Our actions in terms of these things are what will kill off the desire at that initial mental level.

Keep on practicing this until you master it.

2. Go without the internet for some time

I will personal recommend 2 weeks for anyone serious about this. Take a break from the internet. If you must use it for any reasons, then plan yourself so that you can only use it at a public cybercafé. On a personal note, cut off the internet from your personal gadgets for at least two weeks.

Use the time away to focus on building yourself and thinking of various ways you can move closer to your goals in life. I promise you that you will be pleasantly surprised at how much time you got and what you will achieve just in those weeks.

Sometimes we spend too much time surfing the internet for nothing and in the process one may stumble upon pornography or decide to download it because they don’t really have a particular reason to be online.

After these two weeks, you can still personally decide to go without the internet anytime you want. Form a habit of only going online when you have specific and important things to do online. Plan the time you should spend online and always have a meaningful purpose before you connect.

3. When strongly tempted, go back to your notes

The notes you made earlier, which included reasons why you decided to quit porn and what you intend to achieve should be kept handy. You should make copies of them and place in strategic places where you can always read them and remind yourself of them.

These notes should be read whenever it seems that the urge has become strong. I really suggest going some time without the internet because the starting period of quitting porn is the toughest, but it definitely gets easier when you are consistent. Going without the internet will greatly increase your chances of surviving the high pressure that comes in the beginning.

Remember to remind yourself of your decision and motives with these notes. It will keep you conscious of your goal. If you stay conscious, then it will be difficult to unconsciously go back to watching pornography.

Now sometimes the temptation becomes strong. This shouldn't happen if you fried the thought immediately, but once the urge is that strong, here's what you'd do; Get up and go get your lists and notes. Read them. Turn off your phone, laptop, iPad and leave the room of you can. Move your body, breathe in deeply and exhale.

Relax and find something else to channel your mind to. Do anything that will take your mind away from that strong urge. The urge will pass. The key here is in playing the game right mentally. Once you permit the thought to stay in your mind for too long, the thought to engage becomes stronger. That's why you must work on eliminating all influences to see pornography from your mind; Bad Music, Videos and books.

You must be strict about this because anytime you fall, you're adding to the accumulated habit. Your goal is to cancel out accumulated indulgences with your rejections. If you can reject the urge to see porn as many times as you've accepted it, you have already broken free.


You must understand that overcoming the urge to see pornography is a constant war. Don’t be carried away by your victories and successes because the enemy never gives up.

No matter how free or liberated you may become after reading and practicing the contents of this article, you must try to continually keep up with these things. Some people have fallen back to pornography just the moment when they think they have triumphed over it because they let their guards down.

You must always be ready, no matter how many times you’ve overcome the temptation. Pride comes before a fall. Keep this in mind always. Don't believe just words. Believe in your behaviors and daily actions to quit. Thank you and all the best!

Keep Winning!

Sunday, March 5, 2017

How To Stop Being Confused

how to stop being confused

Are you confused? Are you finding it difficult to know exactly what you want to do? Does it appear as if you don't have an idea of how to go about you career, life, choices or anything else? Then hang on because you are definitely not alone.

You've been reading motivational and inspiring books, they keep telling you to take a decision, make a choice, follow your passion, do this and do that. It seems as if everyone else knows exactly what they want to do with their lives, but you? You are still confused and unsure about it.

You're concerned about the future, but you don't know how to go about it. You appear to be floating and idling away your time. If this describes you, I want you to know that the only cure for confusion is knowledge. When I say knowledge, I don't mean you should go on reading different books again(that may even confuse you the more).

When I say knowledge, I mean in depth knowledge coupled with practical activity. In depth knowledge is gotten from experienced people. In whatever you are confused about, try meeting experienced and accomplished people who have been through a similar situation. Learn from their practical experiences and ACT on this knowledge.

Most books cannot give you this kind of knowledge. It is best gotten from experienced people who have faced similar situations as yours and have successfully triumphed over them. So, you should find these people around you and seek for their expert advice. Most of them are willing to help serious minded individuals. Listen to them and gain in depth knowledge.

It is important to act on this knowledge. When you are actively doing something, it's difficult to be confused. Confusion is a mental thing, so being confused is a sign that you're thinking too much and you're not really taking any actions. You're thinking too much because you don't have the knowledge that will help you start taking actions which is why you need to meet experienced people.

No one by themselves can claim to have all the answers. Some people around you or even closest to you have some answers that you don't have. We are all unique and our different experiences has enabled us find some peculiar answers to life's numerous challenges. So, tap into the answers from other people and always act on them.

Being confused can waste your time and make you lag behind. Conquer it with the right knowledge and application.

Till next time..
- Nigel 

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Always Know Exactly What You Want

The world tends to favour those who know exactly what they want out of it. People who are clear about exactly what they want or the direction they have to go in life find it easier to accomplish their goals whereas those who aren't clear live hazy lives.

Think about two people hunting for treasure in a maze filled with items. One of them knows exactly the treasure he is looking for. He knows it so well that he is once he finds it anywhere, he knows. The other is looking for the treasure, but he doesn't have an idea of what he is looking for. Even if he sees the treasure, he won't know he has found it because he has no clue at all.

Which of them do you think will easily find the treasure? Of course it will be the one who has clues and ideas of what the treasure looks like and it's qualities. He will spot the treasure from far away because he 'knows' exactly what he's looking for. So it is easier to spot it. This simply summarizes our lives.

The maze is this world we live in. The treasure is the common goal we seek to achieve which can be said to be happiness, wealth and health. You be appropriately directed to our treasures, we must have a strong direction. This is our clue that points us to our own treasure. You must define exactly what you want and how you want to achieve it. When you do so, it is easier to spot your own treasure and grab it.

Most people are living aimless lives and anything goes for them because they simply have not sat down to define exactly what they want and how they intend to achieve it. This makes them miss out on multiple opportunities which they could have identified easily if they had guides and clues which is from their plans and directed intent.

Whatever it is you want.. First, you define the parameters. You don't just accept anything goes. That's a choice too though, but I think you deserve better. You deserve exactly what you want and believe you me if you are willing to define exactly what that is and how to get it, you will get in in no time.

In your relationships, you should define the kind of partner you want. You define the qualities you want in him/her and go for it. Don't make it unrealistic though because no one is perfect. Identify what you want from a partner and seek for it.

In your career, define what you really want to do with your life and how you want to do that. Don't just do anything. Whatever you do must be part of a plan to that thing you really want else you waste your time. Always know exactly what you want, know exactly how you intend to achieve it and the steps you need to take and you will rise quickly on the success ladder.

Keep winning!

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Don't Try To Be Too Nice

In today's society, some people try to appear too nice and overdo things in order to win the love, respect or admiration of other people. Ironically, it usually turns out that they get the opposite of what they want because they were trying to be too nice.

Think about this: Parents who keep on letting their kid have whatever he or she wants end up spoiling that kid no matter how generous they think they are. The kid grows up not knowing that some things are not good for him because the parents had not disciplined him properly. And why's that? They were trying to be too nice.

You own a pet and all the time your pet keeps on peeing in your living room. You don't want to punish that pet by using some strict training practices because you claim to love the pet and you're trying to be a nice pet owner. What happens? The pet goes on misbehaving and causing problems for you.

You're in an abusive and unhappy relationship. Your partner keeps on doing the things you don't like. He may beat you up, cheat, and do all sorts of things to show a lack of love and non commitment. But you keep on trying to defend him, you don't want to show that you're actually unhappy with their behavior. You keep quiet and keep tolerating crap because you're being too nice. What happens? They keep doing it.

Okay, someone keeps on harassing you and keeps on troubling you. You have done nothing wrong to them, but they seem to derive pleasure in interfering with you and your life. You keep trying to ignore them because you're a nice person, but they keep on looking for your trouble. Would you go on ignoring them forever because you're too nice?

It is unnatural for us to be too nice. We should be nice people, but when we take it to the extreme, it could be a limitation or a sign of fear. You have to try and relate very well with everyone, but don't try to be too nice to the point of tolerating nonsense from anyone, anything or any situation.

Do what you have to do and learn to express what you really feel instead of holding it in because you're trying to be too nice. If you've got to punish your kid or deny him some things, please do so. If your pet misbehaves, discipline it appropriately.

If you are in an abusive relationship, come out of it for your own good. If the person really loves you, they will come to their senses else, good riddance! If you have to confront some troublesome people, do so and let them know you're tired of their crap.

If you're not happy with anything, don't try to pretend in the name of being too nice. Just be natural and do what the situation really calls for with smart reasoning. You will find out that if you don't try too hard to be nice, but rather do what you have to do, things will gradually fall in place and work out well. From better responsible kids, lovers and pets to a better and happier life filled with genuine people.

Be real, be nice.. but don't try to be too nice.

Keep winning!

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

How To Discover Your Purpose In Life

find your purpose

It is sad that in rapidly developing world like ours, few people actually know their purpose in life whereas the majority of people do not.

When few people know their purpose, they can only solve a tiny fraction of the various problems in our world, but imagine a world where most people know exactly their various purposes and contribute to solving problems with it.

Our era has been bombarded with lots of information, belief systems, orthodox rules, etc which has made it more difficult and confusing for an average individual to actually discover his/her purpose.

This article has been designed to help you find that purpose and be rest assured that after reading this article and following the directions therein, you'll find your purpose here on earth.

To start with, look at these quotes by Oprah Winfrey :
"I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of a service... "

"Your calling isn't something that somebody can tell you about. It's what you feel. It's the thing that gives you juice. The thing that you are supposed to do. And nobody can tell you about what that is. You know it inside yourself."

I want you take some time to understand those two quotes before we proceed. There are a few things I'll like you to know upfront. No one else but yourself can tell you what you're meant to do or to be, because you know it already. You feel it deep down your gut. Does it mean that this article won't help? No! Read on.

Since your ideal purpose is something that I cannot tell you. I'll only tell you about a proven way used by successful people to discover their own purpose and live decisively. I'll tell you a way to identify what you really feel and connect it to your purpose just like these people.

Now, We are all unique creatures who share just ONE ideal purpose. In other words, there is ONE purpose which every human being on earth has. The common purpose is that 'We are created to be productive and add value to our society."

This is the ultimate purpose we all share, but the catch is that there are "infinite" number of ways to fulfill this purpose. You mustn't fulfill the purpose the same way another person fulfills it. And this is where a personal purpose comes in. Which is why you're here.

A personal purpose suits our uniqueness. It merges your passion (what you love to do) with the general purpose. Therefore, it puts you in a position where you are fulfilling the general purpose while being very happy doing so. This is what we all want. Finding it involves deep thinking and thorough knowledge of oneself.

For example, one who has passion for making people laugh would fulfill the common purpose of adding value to society by becoming a comedian(personal purpose).

One who loves treating the sick can fulfill the common mission by becoming a medical doctor(personal purpose). It is important to love whatever you do with which you're fulfilling the common purpose with. When you really love what you do, you're more productive and aware, therefore you create greater value to the world.

So this is how you find your own personal purpthat It involves three key steps.

Step one:
Get a book and a pen. Write down every thing that you love to do. Whatever you're addicted to or whatever you're obsessed with, write it down too.

Don't let any sentiments stop you from writing out everything you really like to do. Let's say you're doing a job you don't like or studying a course you hate, write down the things you'll rather do. The things that make you can't wait for the work day or class to be over. The things that come to you naturally when you're not occupied. Your unique talents.

Making noise, playing games, singing, dancing, thinking, anything... This is the first step. I guess you've penned down a lot of things. Now here's the second step. This step is important to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Most people can't tell the difference between what they just like to do and what they're really passionate about. If whatever you think you love to do DOES NOT add ANY VALUE to HUMAN LIVES, then it's not your passion. You just like to do it.

Step two: 
Cancel everything on that list that does not have the capacity to add value to the society. Things like smoking, playing some video games, watching movies, sleeping.. stuff like that should be cancelled. The only things that should be left on that list are the things that you love doing which adds value to society.

Step three: 
Write down everything left on paper and fold them.(I'm assuming more than one item is left) Close your eyes and pick one of them. Just kidding, that's not necessary. Look at the remaining things and think of ways you can add value to the society through any of them. Once you've thought about that, make plans and fearlessly take action in line with them.

If you can work on all of them at same time, fine, but I suggest taking them one at a time. Find ways to develop yourself in these areas and how to start adding value to life through them.

If after step 2, you had one thing left, you've found your personal passion. Simply, follow it! If you cancelled out everything on your list, which I think will be very rare and impossible, I suggest you think deeply again or ask people you trust to give you candid opinions on what they think you'll be very good at. (This usually works). But, I believe if you did step 1 very well, you can find something you love to do that can add value to human lives.

Note If you love sports, you can add value to life through it by becoming a trainer, fitness instructor etc. Don't be too hasty to cancel out your passions except when they're totally useless by your own judgement. But think deeply about how you can add value with anything you love to do before cancelling.

I believe that if you take these steps, you'll definitely find your purpose. I hope this helped you. Don't forget to share this article and help others discover their purpose.

Thursday, July 28, 2016


Don't be afraid of failure. Make it a friend

I remember a friend of mine back in my street some years ago. He was a good guy and had integrity. His only problem back then was that his English was really terrible. 

Anytime he made a grammatical error whenever he tried to speak English to me and

Thursday, July 21, 2016


the real meaning of trusting other people

I don't know why I'm particular about trust, but I just have to write this otherwise it's gonna explode inside of me.

Our daily existence on this planet is a function of our trust for one another. Without trust, we

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