Do It Irrespective Of Acceptance

Irrespective Of Acceptance

Many people today care too much about being accepted by others at any cost. They give up on their values, their ambitions, their morality and even their own peace of mind just for acceptance.

It's a natural thing for a human being to desire to be accepted by other people. However, it must never be to the detriment of that individual. You cannot displease yourself or put yourself at a disadvantage because you want to be accepted.

A lot of people have given up on doing the positive things they are genuinely passionate about doing because they want to be accepted and they care about how others perceive what they are doing.

The secret that most winners know is that irrespective of whether people like what they do or not, as long as it is something good and they are passionate about doing it continuously; they care less about how people see it.

When you are convinced of exactly what you want to do and you know deep down in your conscience that it is a good thing, go ahead and do it irrespective of acceptance.

J.K.Rowlings, the writer of the famous Harry Potter novel said that twelve publishers rejected the manuscript! A year later she was given the green light by Barry Cunningham from Bloomsbury, who agreed to publish the book but insisted she must get a day job cause there was no money in children’s books.

What if she cared too much about the acceptance of the book that she quit her determination to get a publisher?

Legend has it that Colonel Sanders, the founder of KFC thought restaurant owners would love his fried chicken recipe and there would buy it and sales would increase. He drove around the country knocking on doors, sleeping in his car, wearing his white suit and asking people to buy it.

Do you know how many times people said no till he got one yes? 1009 times!

What if he cared too much about acceptance and decided to quit the business because he wasn't accepted?

Walt Disney was the man who gave life to Disney World and Mickey Mouse. History has it that during his first animation, his company went bankrupt.

He was fired by a news editor cause he lacked imagination. He was said to have been turned down 302 times before he got financing for creating Disney World.

If he cared about his rejections, would he have continued trying to get finance?

Michael Jordan, the renown basket baller once said:

"I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

If all these failures which may have led to his non acceptance by certain people deterred him from playing basketball, do you think would have ever heard about him?

Nelson Mandela was known for his indispensable role in fighting apartheid. It is said that at some point, the people closest to him tried to discourage him from fighting for what he believed in.

If he had listened to them and thrown his dream away because he wanted to be accepted by family and friends, who knows how far apartheid would have gone till date?

All these famous people I have mentioned cared more about their vision than acceptance.

They cared less about those who accepted or rejected them and focused on still making a genuine effort in line with what they are passionate about.

How many times they were rejected, how many people rejected them and who rejected them never mattered.

What mattered most was the dream..

Whether people like it now or not doesn't matter at all.

Whether they love it or hate it doesn't matter at all.

Whether they think it is a wise thing to do or not doesn't matter.

Whether they are willing to roll with you or not for the sake of that dream doesn't matter.

What really matters is that you do what you love to do and keep doing it irrespective of whatever they want to think.

Before you made up your mind to do anything, you must have weighed your options carefully. You must have thought it through. And even though you still keep an open mind, you still know exactly what you want. So just do it.

The people you should crave for their acceptance are people who share similar dreams and visions as you do.

They are the people who inspire you to keep performing your best, the people who are already making a difference in  the lives of others and the world at large.

The people you wish to be like and friends who see the potentials in your vision.

They are the ones you should even at least care about their acceptance. But even their own acceptance mustn't be at any cost as well.

Just keep doing what you're passionate about doing. Just keep working on the functions you're genuinely interested in. Just keep on keeping on.

Everybody doesn't have to accept you.. Because it's not everyone that will understand you no matter what you do.

You don't have to smoke or take hard drugs if it's not your thing just for acceptance sake.

You don't have to live in a promiscuous way just to be accepted.

You don't have to throw away your morals and your conscience because you want to be accepted.

If you must do away with the things that matter most to your heart and happiness all for the sake of acceptance, then the acceptance can as well go to hell.

The desire to be accepted isn't bad as long as it brings out the best in you and makes you perfect your abilities.

It's not bad as long as you don't sacrifice your heart and personal happiness.

But when you have to do away with the very essence of your humanity, throw whatever acceptance you seek into the thrash can.

Of what use is being accepted when you have to throw away everything that makes you happy and feel at ease? Is the ultimate aim of the acceptance you seek not to be happy?

So just keep doing what you're passionate about doing very well. Irrespective of how many people accept it or not. Just keep doing it.

It will definitely pay off in the end.

Be your true self, do it irrespective of acceptance and keep on winning.

The Definition Of A True Woman

The definition of a true woman

Previously, I wrote an article on the definition of a true man. It would be fair enough to also write and article for the women who read this blog.

Women are beautiful, lovely and sensitive creatures way different from men in a lot of things both mentally and physically. They are special in their own way and also play very important roles in our society.

Just like in the case of the men, value systems seem to be changing for women too.

Most women seem to rate themselves these days based mainly on their looks. They spend so much time and money in ensuring they look very good, clean and posh. They can do anything to look attractive and get attention.

Some even go to the extent of almost going nude on social media just to feel good about themselves and get reassuring likes.

Painfully, most of these same women don't pay attention to what is inside of them. They often neglect the unseen qualities which make them who they truly are.

There are some women who boast about how many men they have been with and gotten money from. They boast of the things that their boyfriends buy or do for them and they define themselves by these things.

Some boast about how unrestrained they are in insulting men. Some of them have no shame when it comes to boasting about those things.

Well, here on the bold winner's blog, we think a woman is not authentically defined by those things which now appear commonplace and here's what we think:

A true woman is one who does not necessarily base her self esteem on her body. This doesn't mean she doesn't look good or take care of her looks, rather, she understands that her looks are just an added asset.

A true woman doesn't define herself by the number of men she has been able to sleep with and get cash in return from.

She doesn't sell herself that cheaply.

A true woman is hardworking, respectful, considerate, smart and dedicated to the role she has to play.

A true woman has a great sense of responsibility.

If she's married, she respects her husband well enough. This doesn't mean that she never offers her opinion. She does that when she has to, but does so in a respectful manner.

A true woman who is married genuinely loves her children and takes very good care of them. She can make sacrifices to ensure that her children are okay.

She doesn't always nag at her husband or put him onto undue pressure. A number of men have gone to their early graves because they married a bad woman who robbed them of their peace of mind and turned their children against them.

Instead of nagging, she tries to figure out what exactly is the problem and seeks for ways to help and support her husband.

A true woman is always real. She doesn't pretend except for a very good reason, and she has an understanding mind. She is tolerant and open minded. She is not abusive and is able to control her  tongue from getting too sharp.

She is willing to help and support those around her and she is very courteous. She is kind and if she's religious, she is devoted to God.

This kind of woman doesn't have time for nonsense. She always keeps herself occupied with things that add value to her. She listens to good advice and she develops her skills.

These kind of women can do various things to provide support to their families. They aren't lazy, they aren't spending all day on social media showing sensitive parts of their bodies to get likes.

They are busy working towards a good cause. They are the women that make things happen in the society. They are the women who understand that their real values lie in what they can contribute to the world.

True women have distinguished themselves in various fields. In science, arts, entertainment, politics, medicine, sports, just name it.

You can find bold winning women who are making a difference all over the world. From Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, Angela Merkel, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, to Serena Williams. There are many of them.

These are women making things happen. And if you're a woman, you can be like them too.

You're not a tool to be used by men just for sex, clubbing and night parties. You're not here to show us just your body and seduce men. The world doesn't really revolve around the size of your waist or your bust.

You're way more than that young lady. You've been designed to make a difference in this world where you find yourself.

Don't be afraid of accomplishing a lot. True men will be attracted to you and trust me, a union or relationship between a true man and a true woman is a match made in heaven.

By all means look good, clean and sweet. But never make the mistake of thinking that it is everything you're all about. There are many things within you waiting for discovery.

As a true woman, your diligence will make you unlock all those treasures within you and you'll be surprised at how your life will turn out and the impact you can make.

True women cannot be used and dumped because they are very smart. Before they even get that close to a guy, they must have known the kind of a man he is.

Some women are played around by men because such women think it is all about sex and money. They don't think beyond those two things.

They don't work on their characters, careers and inclinations. They don't think of making impact in their immediate surroundings. All they think about is a man who can give them money because of their body. How lower can a woman get?

Free yourself from such bondage if you're entangled by it. A true woman is unfettered by those things. She keeps aspiring for more and more. And she has a heart of gold which can be easily seen by true men.

Be a true woman, keep winning!

The Definition Of A True Man

the definition of a true man

In today's world, it seems as though the definition of a man is getting more debased day by day. Value systems seem to have changed and being a man appears to now be centered on ephemeral, distasteful and immoral behaviour. Here on this blog, you'll get the truth on the definition of a true man.

Yesterday, I got into an argument with a male colleague at work. Ordinarily, I try my best to avoid any form of arguments except when absolutely necessary. This was one of those exceptional days.

We were all having a wonderful discussion about things we need to know in making the right choice as regards a life partner for marriage and everyone of us was sharing their candid opinions and learning from those shared by others.

Then, the young man who was standing aside joined in and started saying that we were all talking nonsense. He continued by saying that only his opinion was valid because he had slept with so many different women to the extent he had lost count.

I didn't know whether he was saying this to feel good about himself because obviously, he wasn't really  a self confident man. I also thought maybe he was drunk, but he maintained that the opinion of other participants in the conversation didn't count because in his mind; he had slept with many women.

At first, I was grossly disappointed that a man like him who I had some level of respect for was boasting about sleeping around with different women even prostitutes. However, I kept quiet and decided to ignore. Hoping he would also keep quiet.

But the dude went on from boasting about his lascivious lifestyle to boasting about the number of drinks he could consume and the packets of cigarettes he could smoke at a sitting. And he further implied that as we were not smoking and drinking just like he did, we were not true men.

That struck the chord and I had to engage him on words toe to toe. I first told him that he was really annoying with his behavior and irritating attitude by implying that our opinions were wrong because we weren't living the same way as he did.

And I schooled him on the definition of a man:

A real man is not defined by the number of women he may have had sex with or by the number of drinks or cigarettes he can consume in a day.

A true man is not really defined by the way he looks.

Neither is he defined by the material possessions he may have amassed.

All those things barely scratch the surface.

A true man is defined by his attitude, his fearlessness in the pursuit of his goals, his courage in the face of impending danger and his resolve to stand by his words.

A real man has a great sense of responsibility and contributes as much as he can to the progress of his society. He is not lazy, he does not boast(because he knows himself) and he doesn't waste his time with unnecessary things.

He is focused and determined. A real man doesn't waste his time trying to get various women to lie with him. When he loves, he loves for real and he cherishes, provides for and protects his woman.

Chasing after different women is what makes most men lose their focus in life.

And these things are self evident. The men who have been relegated to the doldrums are those who are notorious for excessive womanizing and wayward lifestyles. The men who are high on the ranks are known to have been very focused and they're committed in their relationships and ambitions.

By their fruits, you shall know them.

A true man is hard working, focused and dedicated. Not a lazy man who thinks about girls all day.

A real man takes pride in his achievements related to making an impact in the society and distinguishing himself through diligence in his works.

A real man takes pride in that particular women who he has given his love to. He focuses his attention on her and her alone and constantly makes her feel like a woman.

A true man is a man who knows when to be angry and when to be calm. He knows when to apply force and when to be diplomatic. He knows himself, his abilities and where he wants to be.

He is a man who isn't afraid to stand for what he believes in and goes alone if need be.

He is a man respected by his peers and his society at large.

The Modern man defines a real man thus:

" A real man is a man with genuine self-confidence and true masculinity. He’s a man who knows his own mind and knows what he’s about in life, and he’s not afraid to stand up for what he believes in.

When a man has these qualities, he has a natural self-assuredness that makes him stand out head and shoulders above other men, and women feel an instinctive sexual attraction towards him because he has what it takes to protect her and provide for her, allowing her to relax into being a woman in the relationship.

A real man has the strength of character to be his own man in the world and to always be true to himself. If he takes part in any passing trends in society (e.g. fashion trends, social trends, etc) he does so because he is interested in it, not because he’s trying to hopefully impress people and get them to like him.

He focuses on being the best version of himself it’s possible to be by developing the characteristics that help him to go on improving and becoming a better man at each new stage in his life...  "

I'll love to add that a true man is not always a gentle man. He is gentle when he needs to be and also tough and firm when the situation calls for it.

A true man is simply total and very focused on making reasonable impact.

Basing the definition of a man on very little, ephemeral, crude or vulgar things isn't what any highly motivated and successful man should be doing.

A man is defined by his attitude and his diligent achievement in his society and his work.

Be a true man and keep winning!

Make Working Hard A Habit

Make Working Hard A Habit

There are many new ideas in the world nowadays that try to paint working hard as something unfashionable, difficult or very unnecessary.

You hear people say things like: work smart, not hard, it is not necessary to work hard if you are smart and other things like that which try to undermine working hard.

Here on The Bold Winner's Blog, you'll get the undiluted truth which is: Hard work is beautiful. And you should make working hard a habit.

If only you could pay a bit of attention to the people around you, you will find out that majority of them don't really want to work hard enough to get what they want.

They want it easy. They want to do very little and yet achieve tangible results. They make the mistake of calling this lazy attitude as smart work. But I'll try to explain what hard work really means.

Hard work is not really as hard as it looks. It only refers to your relentless efforts to work tirelessly towards the achievement of your goals and targets.

It involves doing your best at all times to keep improving in what you do. It involves putting your heart and mind to your work, such that your focus is as strong as a high beam laser destroying any obstacle along its path.

If you're really working hard, there's no way you won't be working smart as well except you don't understand what you're doing and then you think it's hard work.

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome in the name of hard work is stupid. Even Einstein wrote: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Repeating your procedures and exhausting needless physical energy on certain things without thinking is not hard work.

Maybe this is the kind of hard work some people are against by saying that smart work is better.

However, what I have just cited above is not even hard work in the first place. Because real hard work involves an application of deep thought and the desire to constantly change our processes in order to improve.

So hard work as defined above is beautiful. It always pays. And it pays right on time. It never owes you. It has never owed anyone.

Once you're working hard on anything, you must get your results. It is guaranteed. There is no gambling involved. Just etch this belief at the back of your mind: "Your results are guaranteed once you work hard to achieve them."

As long as you're constantly improving your methods and you're not being stupid by refusing to apply your cognitive and mental faculties, your results are assured. Trust me.

Sometimes, it may take a little time to see the results of your hard work, and it could come at a time you least expect it, one thing is certain, it must come!

Bold winners know this and that's why patience is a treasured virtue they all share.

Leo Tolstoy once said: "The two most powerful warriors are patience and time."

Joyce Meyer added: " Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting."

Saadi continued: "Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy."

Hard work is not just beautiful, it's sexy as well. It's turns you on to keep going and keep going. Because its results are so exciting and fulfilling, you just fall in love with it and it becomes you. It becomes your attitude.

Hard work is not hard. You don't have to see it as hard. It is just the key to everything you want in this world.

Look around you. Everything you see is as a result of someone's hard work and reasoning.

If those who built and invented most of the things in our world today wanted to just have it easy without work, we would not have made as much progress in human advancement as we have made today.

Every genuinely successful man or woman you see around you today is a product of hard work, however many of the upcoming generation tend to think that they do very little.

They fail to understand that it was all their accumulated efforts in working hard that led them to that seemingly easier position.

But the funny thing is that being in the position of those successful men and women is not even easy.

Put anyone who is not used to working hard in those enviable positions and you will see that they will fail woefully in the position they thought was easy.

And why do they fail? Such lofty positions involve lots of responsibilities, and someone who doesn't have enough experience in working hard cannot just take the heat. So they can't perform well.

Those successful men and women who you think that they just sit in an office, receive cool air from the air conditioner and press their laptops are already used to handling those responsibilities. And that's why they find it easy.

They find it easy because they are used to it. They have become associated with working hard on responsibilities that it has become like nothing to them.

A task you think is difficult and couldn't be easily handled can be taken care of by them in seconds. Then they have all day to themselves and can do anything else they like.

But to you on the outside who hasn't taken time to understand why they are where they are, you may think that they do nothing. What they actually do is serious, massive, tasking and very important. But they do it effortlessly.

Genuinely successful people aren't lazy. They are always active and on the move.

Think about the president of your country. He has lots of responsibilities and hard work on his shoulders alone. Even with delegation and help from various departments, the president has a lot of work to do.

In very progressive countries, their presidents are accomplished and disciplined hard workers who have demonstrated their ability to build things up and make it work. That's why those countries take their electoral processes very seriously.

They understand that a president must be hard working and not laid back. These countries build their systems on hard work and they make sure that it's only serious hard workers that get the best positions in the state.

That's why such countries stay progressive.

It shouldn't just be countries, companies, communities, families, groups and individuals should learn to value, emulate and encourage hard work.

It is only through hardwork and activity that we achieve anything meaningful. Those who look for shortcuts are lazy. And they rarely make any lasting progress.

Now, I have to tell you that working hard doesn't mean that you should overdo things or overwork yourself unnecessarily.

By all means, take a break when you really need to. Resting when you feel weak is good for your physical and mental health.

And remember, a person that works hard needs to think well during that process. To stay mentally sharp, you have to rest, so you can restore your exhausted physical and mental acuity.

So, just keep it in mind that hard work doesn't mean you kill yourself. Lol. You relax, have some alone time, hang out with your friends and just have fun.

But remember that the purpose is to relax, don't get carried away. As a success minded person, hard work is a way of life. So balance your relaxation time properly.

When you relax well as your body requires, you find out that your hard work actually accomplishes more.

Should be vice versa right? Haha. Well it can't be the other way round because relaxation calms your head which houses your mental ability. And that ability coupled with hard work accomplishes more.

If you decide not to ever rest because you're working hard, the law of diminishing returns begins to play out. You work more and more and you achieve less and less.

What's the point of working to achieve less?

As a matter of fact, when you decide not to rest at all,  it's no longer hard work. Hard work involves thought as well. And without relaxation thought processes are worse off.

So relax when you have to, after that continue working. There are few people willing to really work hard and that's the more reason you should since you care about standing out from the rest of them who want it easy.

Make working hard a habit, keep your mindset sharp and just keep winning!

The Hoarders Mentality

hoarders mentality
A lot of people have this tendency of hoarding things and always keeping unnecessary stuff to themselves. They find it difficult to let things they don't need anymore go. Rather than let someone else have it, they prefer to hoard it. This is what I call the hoarders mentality.

A hoarder is more like a miserly person. He or she believes that it will never be enough for them and will continue to save up unnecessary things. But this is a big trap and demonstrates a poor mindset.

Winners know and believe that they will never run dry. This doesn't mean that they waste their resources, rather they aren't afraid to let go of the things they no longer need. And indeed, they never run dry. Beliefs are incredibly powerful.

Many of the things some of us still keep with ourselves aren't needed anymore by us, yet we just leave them with us for no good reason. You go to some homes, you find a large box filled with old clothes that are no longer in use. Why not share?

You bought a new gadget and won't be needing the old one, why not give it away to someone else that may need it rather than pack it up in the basement?

Winners usually live like Spartans. They only use or keep exactly what they need. Whatever they don't need has no business with them. As a matter of fact, allowing yourself get attached to things you should have given away keeps you lagging behind.

Winners are bold people who keep looking forward to new and better things deserving of their attention and time. As a human being who is always moving and changing positively, it's important you don't let attachment to physical things hold you back.

By giving away everything you don't need, you make room for exactly what you need! When you keep hoarding things, you keep yourself from progressing. Our mindsets should be reflected in our surrounding.

A positive mindset aspiring for new experiences, should be matched with surroundings that are continually renewed. These surroundings give good feedback to your subconscious mind and strengthens your mindset to stay anew.

But a surrounding that stays the same always, will subconsciously keep you thinking the same way. How do you renew your surroundings? By taking away the things you don't need and make few changes whenever you can.

You see, when you're always making your surroundings new by taking away what you don't need, you subconsciously train your mind to keep improving every single day without even knowing it.

Your surroundings must reflect your mindset.

So learn to take stuff you don't need away. It distracts you. Share those things to neighbors, friends or less privileged people who may need them. You will strengthen your relationship with these people by doing so and more especially your mindset for success. A win-win situation!

We shouldn't be hoarding things unnecessarily.

Hoarding things doesn't just pertain to properties, you shouldn't hoard paying people nice compliments or using your words to make them feel better. You shouldn't hoard your care and affection.

Yeah, we know that there are people who won't appreciate it when you care, but still care for people anyway. You're doing it for yourself. You never know how far your words can go to change someone's mind.

Many have been saved from committing suicide and other dangerous acts because of a nice word somebody said to them.

So when you're moved to say something nice or comforting to someone, just say it. It doesn't take anything away from you. Paying that compliment or saying something nice doesn't make you lesser than that person. You just make your world a lil much better as you've made that person's world.

If we can learn to love, share and give freely without holding back, we will make room for these things to keep manifesting in our lives. We will see that our minds won't be cluttered by things of the past because we've not cluttered our world with hoarded things.

We will find it easier to accomplish our goals and we build strong networks with people around us. I'll end with this short update by my friend Shola:

"The Hoarders

An aunt of mine died recently. She was a widow. She also had no child. She died in her late 50s. She has been buried.

When the family went to clean up her property, they were amazed. She was a hoarder. The type you watch on American and British reality shows.

 She had stuff filling her apartments. Piles of new materials. Piles of expired food products. Piles of gifts and souvenirs dating 10 years.

6 television sets. 5 new freezers. 4 new generating sets. New gas cookers. Kerosine stoves of the 80s. All new. Expired vegetable oil.

Decaying bags of rice. And so forth. There was no sitting space in a 4 bedroom apartment. Littered with junk.

Plenty of stuff was thrown away. Many shared by family members who had no clue on how she lived. I am certain she has a decent amount in the bank.

She was prudent. Almost much too prudent.

 Bordering on...

Many of us are like her. We can’t give away stuff that we do not need. We pile “junk” that might be useful to another.

We have clothes in wardrobes all over. We hoard everything we own. Lace of '92, gele of '88.
Many even hoard love and praise.

They hoard affection. No one is deserving of love. No one is deserving of help. When they lose, one they love, they cry, because they hoarded words of affection and more.

Life is meant to be lived. That we will die is certain. The uncertainty is when and how. The wise one lives everyday as the last.

This is not to be read as encouraging wastrels. Or failing to save for tomorrow. Empty your barns regularly to the needy so you also can have new stock.

At the end, the only thing you take with you, is your soul. Nourish that."

Inspiring wasn't it? His update inspired this blog post. Let's learn to share, give and love. It takes nothing from us and gives us everything.

Throw away your hoarders mentality this second and keep winning!

March On To Your Goals

March on to your goals

It is a New month. It's the month of March. It's a period when you've got to ask yourself where exactly you're marching on to. Would you march on to your goals this month or would you rather fall back to your comfort zone? It's a question you should answer yourself.

It's already two months away this year, how time flies! We celebrated the New Year just like yesterday and we all made our plans and resolutions not long ago. But hey, it's already March, the third month of the year!

If you've been reading this blog, I believe it would be pointless to start reminding you of how important your time is as a factor of success. Time as you already know doesn't wait for nobody.

Whether you lie in bed all day or you go out every day and work towards what you want, time doesn't give a shit. Time is always on time and it doesn't stop for anyone. So the ball has always been in your court as regards the way you manage this time.

Today is the third day of March, thirty one days in January plus twenty eight days in February gives us fifty nine days.. Add three days to that and you got sixty two(62) days gone.

62 days gone like a flash. Ask yourself how closer you are to where you have always wanted to be after these days. If you don't have anywhere you want to be, well, that's fine, you can as well waste the remaining 303 days left. You shouldn't even be reading this blog.

But as a reader of this blog, I can bet that you want to be somewhere. I can bet that you're different from the rest of them out there who are so comfortable being stuck in their comfort zone. You have a vision and, a target and a big dream for yourself.

That's why it's important you ask yourself exactly what progress you have made so far. Maybe you've really been trying your best and working hard towards the goals you've set for yourself this year and you're not seeing results.

I want you to not worry and do not despair. For the fact that you were able to discipline yourself to work on those goals within these 62 days, you're already making progress. Whether you've seen results or not doesn't really matter for now.

You've already made progress because you worked towards those goals you set out in the beginning of the year.

What you should do right now is to go back to the drawing table and find out exactly what is wrong. Why aren't you making progress? Try to think about how you've been going about your efforts. Just take some time to think about approaching those goals through a better strategy.

Believe me, if you give some thought to it, you will definitely get some brilliant ideas and you may figure out where you're going wrong. What you need right now is to re-strategize your methods.

If you really care about those goals, you must not give up on them or relent because it appears you've not made progress. As I said, you've made progress by at least trying it.

There are many who haven't even tried. They're not even aware that they could experience what you're experiencing right now, they're still in the dark.

You're already steps ahead of them because in the process of this experience you're getting right now, you'll discover the best way to go about those goals. And you're already closer to success. But for those who haven't tried, they are still ignorant.

So be glad my friend, every disappointment is indeed a blessing in disguise because you get a chance to learn something and be better than you were.

If you're a religious person, you should also try to strengthen your relationship with your creator. Pray often and perform your acts of charity to the less privileged.

I personally don't really like to attribute challenges or setbacks to spiritual causes because I believe that despite our beliefs, we still have our individual roles to play as human beings. However, there are certain things beyond our control of which faith and devotion brings us solace.

That doesn't change the fact that as human beings we shouldn't try our own best. My problem with some people who pretend to be too religious is that they often attribute everything to spiritual causes rather than look critically at it to make changes.

They don't like to accept any responsibility, they depend on their beliefs or creator to do everything for them. I don't believe that is a true way to be devoted. You should be devoted, but you must not neglect the part you must play.

So, when all seems not to be working fine, by all means pray harder, but ensure that while praying, you also think deeply about the problems you're facing and try your best to work on them. Don't go and relax, then expect God to do everything for you.

If you've made some consistent progress within these days, congratulations, keep it up. Making progress alone is already enough motivation to keep up with what you're doing. Just keep on keeping on.

Some may have forgotten their New Year resolutions and plans. They're over with the euphoria of the New Year. They've dropped everything and now they're back to the same person they were. I don't wish this for anyone of you reading this article.

Positive change is something that must be constant in our lives as bold winners. At every moment, we must be changing to better humans. Every time we stop changing to become better, we become stagnant. And whatever remains stagnant dies and becomes stale.

A river that doesn't flow, stinks a lot because it remains the same. A river that flows is constantly fresh and alive. The movement of the river is what washes away those things that could make it stale.

So, just like the river, we must be constantly flowing and changing positively. Every time we decide to relax and go back to the way we had been in the past, we're standing the risk of being stagnant and stale.

Therefore, if you've not been working on those goals you set for yourself at the year's beginning, you better start this second to do something different towards it's achievement if you care about any progress this year. If you've forgot them, better find the book you wrote them down on and be conscious of them once again.

This is the month of March and this is a reminder to you to march on to your goals.

Believe me it's all about marching on, it's all about constantly flowing like a river, it's about movement. Life is all about movement.

And what are you moving towards? You're moving towards your dreams. Your moving towards where you desire to be. You're moving towards prosperity, achievement, love, joy, goodness and happiness.

I wish you the best of the month. Keep marching, keep moving and never stop winning!

Learn To See Beyond Money

learn to see beyond Money

Our world today seems crazed about money. When you ask the average person what he or she wants, you're certain to hear the word "money" in 90% of the responses you get. We've become so obsessed with getting so much money that very few people can see beyond it these days.

It's understandable why people seem to be so crazed about the cash. With so much money at your disposal, you can get anything you want, you can travel to places, you can buy any stuff, you can live big the way you want. So, money seems to be everything, right?

Well, in this article, I will try to make you see reasons why money isn't everything and why you should learn to see beyond money if you want to make sustainable progress in your life.

Money is very important and we really need it in our lives. I totally agree. I also need money and more money as well. However, I am not willing to sacrifice my ultimate happiness, fulfilment, peace of mind and strong relationships for the sake of money.

There was a story of a trader in a market who was fond of cheating anyone who came to his shop to buy things. For instance, if you wanted to buy something sold for 10 bucks, he would sell it to you at 100 bucks and he would go home happy.

Another trader who was just beside him was selling those things at a normal rate and each time after his neighbor cheated any buyer, he would turn to this other trader and tell him, "You see, you're not as wise as I am, I'm making money." The other trader would just ignore him and continue selling as normal.

What the first trader didn't know was that each time the customers he had cheated discovered the normal price of the goods they bought from him, they would vow never to come to his shop again. And they even went on to tell their friends who were bulk buyers to stop buying from the cheat.

By and by, this cheating trader kept losing customers and he started depending on just the money he had gotten from cheating. But the other trader's customers kept growing steadily. Even though he wasn't dishonest to charge exorbitantly, he was still making great profit as he sold off large quantities of his goods.

Months later after making serious losses, the cheating trader quit his business. He had failed because he failed to see beyond the money he was getting through cheating.

This example only touched on building trust as a valuable quality that is more important than money. When people trust you, money won't be a problem.

Now there are people who have a passion for something. This passion is what makes them feel alive and brings out that sparkle that shines through their eyes. They love it. It could be music, working on numbers, talking, playing football or other sports, cooking, writing, managing projects, engineering, teaching and etcetera.

It could be anything, but what makes it your passion is that you love to do this always. You could do it all day and you could never get tired of it. It comes naturally to you and you just connect to your higher self through it.

Now for these passionate people, there comes a time when it will look as if their passion isn't making money for them. Now, this passion makes them happy, but they start to expect money from it and if they aren't seeing any money, they get discouraged and they may consider quitting their passion to do something that makes money.

I don't know if you're one of them or if you've ever been in that state of mind, well here's what I think:
Finding yourself in this state of mind means that you're now thinking just in monetary ways. You're no more thinking beyond the money.

Why do you want money in the first place if not to be happy? Happiness is the true goal if you think about it because all the money we seek is just to enable us do or get things that will make us happy. So the big question is: If living your passion makes you genuinely happy, must you really have to be making money from it before you can happy?

Get me right, I'm not saying you cannot and should not make money from your passion. Of course you have to pay your bills and sort out stuff. My point is that it's not a MUST you make money from it and it's not a wise thing to drop your passion because it doesn't make money for you. Your passion makes you happy, so it shouldn't be dropped for any reason.

If you've really got to pay your  bills, try to make money from your passion, if it's not working, as it may not work sometimes, try to do something else or learn a skill that can help you pay your bills, but don't ever drop the passion because you can't pay bills with it. Keep the passion because its value to your general well-being is way beyond money.

You can merge the two.. You can make money doing what you love. If you can do it, that's the best. But sometimes, you may not be able to do it easily. Its not worth it sacrificing that passion because of this reason. Because if you had thought beyond Money, you will see that passion brings you happiness.

This example touched on thinking beyond money when it comes to your passion.

There are cases of people who have betrayed their friends, close networks and even family because of money. The thing these people fail to see is that whatever money they get from such betrayal will still finish and someday they will need to fall back on family and friends for support in some way.

When it comes to love, many of us face a similar
dilemma. He or she may love you genuinely, he or she may care about you so much and really desire your own good. But presently, the person may not have the money to do certain things for you that you may expect. Then you quit, you leave them because they seem to have nothing.

You then go for people who may not want or cherish you as much but they have the cash and you're fine with settling with them. This is called gold digging. You finally settle with them and you get so much money from him or her, but then as time goes on you start searching for something more, you start desiring genuine love and care because you've seen that the person never really cared as much.

The best and most desirable case is to find someone who really loves you and also has the cash(if you desire it). But often times it's not always the case. Would it be wiser in such a case to ditch someone who has demonstrated genuine love and care towards you for someone who may care less, but has got the cash? Up to you!

I've seen people who only treat rich people with respect and courtesy, but they are quick to insult and disrespect those who they believe don't have as much money as the wealthy.

What those people forget is that the table could turn at any time and the same people they treated disrespectfully today may be their bosses tomorrow. They can't think beyond the money.

I could say many more things to show you that money isn't everything and we should all learn to see beyond it, but I'll conclude with this:

Money is very important, but it's not everything. We sacrifice many things on the altar of money, but at the end of the day we find out that there are more things that are of greater value than this money.

Chase your money, but just remember that it's not everything. Your happiness, your well-being, your sense of fulfilment and general peace are of greater importance.

There are things that are not worth sacrificing for money. If you understand this you will see that money is everywhere, and it's not the true goal.

See beyond the money and keep winning! Some things aren't worth sacrificing or risking for money's sake. Stay sharp, the sky is the limit.

Keep Showing Yourself

keep showing yourself like this Sun

In our world today, many shy away from showing themselves, their skills, natural inclinations and their talents because they don't want to be seen as proud or arrogant. They don't want people to stop liking them, so they hide the unique gifts they have and never give it a chance to shine.

I have personally been there and I felt I was actually doing the right thing. Nobody really told me to keep showing myself to the world. So growing up I often kept to myself and never really took advantage of the opportunities to showcase my talents and abilities. The good news is that I learnt my lesson the hard way and changed this weakness on time.

Our world is controlled by people who aren't shy or afraid of demonstrating what they are capable of handling and doing. These people always show themselves in everything they do. They have become so consistent at doing this that their whole essence becomes identified with their art. And the more they show themselves, their ideas, their talents to the world, the better they get.

That's why it's important you should also show yourself to the world out there. It's important you show off your talents, abilities and skills. That's what will get you noticed, that's what will attract to you the right kind of people you need in your life.

It was during a session on the writing of an effective resume with a group of other young people that my eyes were further opened to the reality of showing oneself. You need to see the content of some resumes. You need to see how everyone was demonstrating what they have achieved, how they achieved it and the awards and results they got. They were literally tooting their horns.

If you have always been afraid of showing yourself because of how others may perceive you, how will you toot your own horn when the occasion demands it? How will you gather experiences and link up with like minded people if no one knows what you're capable of doing? You must show yourself.

It's more like the biblical injunction of being a light unto the world. No one lights up a candle and hides it under the bed. A candle is lit to provide light that dispels darkness and allows us to see clearly. A hidden candle has no use to us.

You are that candle. The light you carry comes in the form of your talents, your abilities, your gifts, your passions and whatever it is that you have been blessed with knowing how to do. This light must never be hidden because it is expected that you light up our world using that light.

If you're complaining of what people may say when you are showing yourself, how will you ever grow and develop? You should remember that you're on this world for a mission. The mission is to bring out that light in you and inspire others to do the same. We don't necessarily have to shine this light in the same way, everyone has a different and distinct way to shine theirs because we are not meant to do the same things. 

Therefore, it would be really pointless and as a matter of fact stupid to sweep your light under the carpet because someone else feels intimidated by your light or will dislike you if you keep on shining.

Initially, some people will naturally get jealous of you when you're shining that light, but when you keep on shining that light, they will eventually get used to it and will be very much inspired to shine theirs as well. But if you let their jealousy stop you from shining, you simply become like them and instead of inspiring them to shine their own light, you inspire them to remaining the same.

Sometimes we tend to hide behind the cloak of humility and we erroneously feel that showing off what we have been blessed with looks like pride. But just take a look around you. Think of every highly successful man or woman you have ever known. You'll find out that these set of people are always showing themselves. They never stop.

They always turn up and they always do what they know how to do best irrespective of whose ox is gored.

You might be the best in mathematics in your class, keep showing yourself. Solve as much problems as you can and never shy away from solving mathematical problems. There's a reason you're gifted with such a great numerical ability. Therefore continue expressing it regardless of who feels envious.

You might be the best dancer or stuntman in a group, keep on showing yourself. That's what will get you noticed and earn you more opportunities to develop your art.

You might be very good at talking and expressing your ideas very well. You might be very good in winning any arguments. Others may envy you for this, but you must never stop showing this talent.

You could be blessed in a sport, you might be the best footballer in your school team, don't stop playing the sport. Keep showing up for tournaments. Keep shining.

Maybe it's comedy. You're good at making people laugh and you can change people's mood easily from sadness to happiness with your jokes, never stop showing this gift.

You might be fond of answering or asking questions in class, and naturally other students will say you're just showing yourself because they're jealous.
You shouldn't mind them, keep showing yourself.

I could give many more examples, but I'll conclude with this:

There's a whole lot of good reasons why you should keep showing yourself. Here's four of them:

1. You get better in what you do.

2. You build your self confidence.

3. You increase the chances of success through the networks it will help you build.

4. You gain more attention. And you know that having more attention is desirable for your success.

Being humble doesn't mean that you should hide your talents. Humility is all about respecting other people no matter their class and treating them fairly. It doesn't mean you should be afraid to shine your light and show yourself.

Keep showing yourself and expressing who you are.

Let them call it pride, it's their business.

Show yourself regardless.

The sky is the limit for you bold winner.

Stay sharp as always and never stop winning!

Afraid To Go Alone?

Afraid to go alone?

We live in a world where many people are too afraid to go alone sometimes. They always want to please the majority, they always to be with the majority and they are afraid to go their own path when they really have to. This has kept many of them from being successful.

How willing are you to go alone at some point in your life? How badly do you really want to stand out or leave your mark on the world?

Are you willing to sacrifice your highest aspirations just so you can go along with other people always? These are really important questions to ask yourself.

There are some people who have awesome dreams and visions of exactly what they want to do with their lives. You see their eyes glitter with excitement anytime they talk about it, but when you ask them why they aren't pursuing it yet, you may hear stuff like: "My parents don't want me to do it," "People say I won't make money from it," or even "It's not so popular."

There are many more answers like that from people who may have been blessed with wonderful gifts and ideas. Yet, they don't let those gifts blossom because they're afraid that the path isn't popular.

Now there's something you have to know: your parents or any other close person you have in your life is only there to guide you. Their role is limited to guidance and not making decisions for you.

The only one who is qualified enough to take decisions for you as long as you know the difference between right and wrong is YOURSELF.

You are so unique and you are not like anyone else. You are the only version of you in this world. And out of over 7 billion people on this planet, no one else thinks the same way as you do. And no one will ever do so till eternity. If you understand this, you should know that your strongest feelings and inclinations should not be toyed with for any reason.

If you were naturally born with certain gifts, let's say you can draw very well or you can sing, or you're good in setting things apart and building them up, whatever it is, learn to nurture it. Whatever natural talents you have, you should nurture and grow it.

A lot of times, I hear people complain that they want to do something else asides what they are naturally good in because others say there's no money in it.

It's not always about the money. That's the mistake many people make. They sacrifice their ultimate fulfillment and happiness on the alter of money. They could've been superstars, they could have been famous and extremely wealthy if they followed their talents and perfected it irrespective of what people said, but they drop it and start pursuing money.

Money will come naturally to you as long as you're passionately doing something that has the capacity to add some value to people's lives. It will definitely come. Keep this at the back of your mind. However, it is not the goal!

It's when you make money the goal that you become frustrated and unhappy when you seem not to be getting enough of it.

The real goal is to develop yourself and your capacities to the highest possible extent. You do this so selflessly and passionately that whatever you are doing becomes second nature. You become lost in your art, that's when it becomes magical and you see the kind of respect your art will command.

So when you are afraid of going that path that looks lonely because people have said there's no money in it, you will end up following those people to pursue the same things they pursue and you may never reach your highest potential.

You may have been discouraged and deceived into following the crowd because you heard  that what you want to do isn't so popular. The question you should ask yourself is: Who made all the popular paths popular? They are people like you and me who went their own paths just as they were inspired from the inside.

You may be the one destined to make that path popular in your environment. A new and lonely path might just hold the potential to set you apart and set you on a road to financial freedom. But you think "It's not popular. How many people want to do it?" And the reasoning becomes.. "Since other people aren't doing it or thinking about it, then it's not good." Right?

Let me let you in on a secret: You'll hardly find anything in a place where people are crowded. Even if you stand a chance to find something, you'll have to fight off fierce competition. There are people that are already there before you and more people are rush into it. It becomes difficult.

But when you're able to see potential in a field where very few people are playing, you stand a very high chance in becoming very successful if you go that path. In other words, less is more.

If you're always following the crowd, you will miss many things. I don't mean that you should always try to stand out and be on your own.

Sometimes, you have to go with the crowd, sometimes the crowd is right. But what I'm saying is that even though you blend in with the crowd when it's necessary, you must never be afraid to go alone when it's also necessary.

When it comes to success, you have to be extremely ready to go alone. Many people don't want to be as successful as you want to be. Some people just want to live average lives; get educated, get a job, get married, have kids and die. But I guess you want something more than that.

And if you really want it badly, you have to understand that you will do things that many average people won't do. Of course, when you are doing those things many people won't be with you, because many people don't share the same vision. Only very few like minded people (if any) will stick with you on that path. So you should be definitely willing to go alone.

There's no looking back. There's no expecting loved ones or family to support you or hold your hands as you're going. If they're ready to support this burning desire in you, then it's fine, or else you go alone!

Don't say because people aren't there to support you or encourage you, you won't go ahead with it. If you do so, you will be the one who lost.

You'll find out that when you are convinced to go alone even without support and you finally become very successful in that thing, those same people who never supported your idea will be forced to celebrate with you. Your parents who may have disagreed with your idea will commend you for going your own way.

Your friends who were skeptical about your idea will tell your story and the people who discouraged you will sing your own praise. At this point, there won't be any need to harbor hatred for them in your heart.

You'll forgive them very easily because the joy, contentment and fulfilment you've found from going your own way will be too large to even accommodate any hate.

Be willing to go alone if need be and keep on winning! Let walk together on the path to success!

- Nigel Ikechukwu ©2018

The Active Ones Take It All

active ones take it all

Hey, you! Yes.. you! Are you still delaying that wonderful idea you may have been nursing for a while now? Have you been hesitating on starting that business, journey, career, course, or work you have  to do?

Have you identified a favorable opportunity, but you've not been able to utilize it because you're thinking too much about it? Then this article is for you. I want you to bear this at the back of your mind: "The active ones take it all."

Life offers everything to the ones who are active. Life doesn't care about your intention or what you're thinking of doing. It cares about what you're doing!

Let's say there are two people who intend to start a similar business, let's say it's a small restaurant. One of them has been nursing the idea for a long time and is very passionate about it. He keeps thinking and thinking of how to start up the business and get everything ready but has done nothing yet.

The other one also nurses the idea though he is not as passionate as the first, but he immediately starts cooking in very small quantities and sells to his neighbors and friends living close.

He is not thinking too much about how to buy a big land and build a big restaurant like the first may be thinking. He just starts cooking with what he has at that point and starts selling to those he knew.

Which of these two men do you think has a higher chance of making a boom in the business? Of course it's the second. With his strategy, he will slowly build a loyal customer base while generating some money in the process.

As his business grows, he will be able to acquire more materials and facilities needed. He may even hire extra hands. And before you know it, a profitable restaurant is born. The first man will still be there thinking of how to get everything set.

Even if he finally gets it set, the second person have made much progress already with the time he had lost. He will have to start from scratch to find loyal customers and advertise his business. If second man has played his game right, it will be difficult for this man to even catch up.

And what gave the second the advantage? Activity!

Dormancy is a trap. Even if you're thinking and making plans, don't let it entrap you into being dormant. Because dormancy of any form is dangerous. Much time is lost and before you know it, active men have taken the opportunity.

I give you another instance, let's say two guys are really in love with a girl. The first one may really be genuinely in love with the girl and really desires to make her his wife. But he isn't active. He doesn't make efforts to let the girl know how he feels about her.

He's just having these feelings and he's not active about expressing it. What do you think will happen? The girl will be there because there's no way she's going to know what he has in his mind. And she may never get to know how much love this guy has for her simply because the guy wasn't active.

Another guy may come around, he may not really love the girl that much, but he is an active man, he talks to the girl, shows care to her, takes her out on dates and courts her like a lady.. Of course, the girl is likely to fall for him because at least he was active enough to express his feelings.

Put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself who you would go for given the choices? The answer is too obvious. How can she even go for a man who hasn't shown any signs that he loves her?

Again, let's say there are two politicians who aspire for a political position, one of them is active. He always moves around different communities, interacting with the inhabitants and gives them convincing speeches.

The other one does nothing but hope and pray that the people see the goodness inside of him to vote him on election day.

Which of them do you think is likely to win the election on the election day?

Activity.. There's nothing like it. If an upcoming musician comes out today and sings his very first song, do you think he stands a great chance of becoming more popular than any of the top musicians in the world by virtue of that song?

Of course not! He will have to be active well enough to perfect his art and compete with the masters. Activity is what will sharpen his ability and bring him to the limelight.

Activity.. How active are you? If there is anything you desire in your life that you don't have, it's because you've not been active well enough to have it.

Activity always pays the active ones. It never owes. It pays right on time. With activity, you will get everything you want and even more. Just learn to be very active in the pursuit of whatever you desire.

There's really no other way if you look at it deeply. You only look for other ways because you don't want to be active. You feel like it's stressful. And you desire to go back to your free and lazy patterns.

But activity has a price. You've got to pay the price for it. The rewards of activity are too great that they aren't for the faint hearted. You will be willing to pass through the stress. You will be willing to do what it really takes because you really want what it offers.

There's no successful man who wasn't active. Look around you. Study the successful and you'll see that they are very much active in their lives.

It's very few people that are willing to go that extra mile just like the active ones.. And that why majority of people are average and are living in obscurity, while those very few control everything.

They get to control everything because they paid the price that billions of people couldn't pay. The gains are worth the sacrifice isn't it?

There's no point giving more examples because there are many examples that we see in our everyday lives telling us that only the active ones get everything they want, but some of us don't pay attention.

Therefore, I am challenging you today to dare to be active. You're reading this blog post because you care about success, because you're different from the rest and you want to stand out from them.

You are already success oriented and that's why I'm reminding or challenging you to keep being active. Be relentless in the pursuit of whatever it is that your heart really yearns for.

You don't have to listen to what they're saying. You know exactly where you are meant to be and you're not setting for an average life like them, so you should focus on your activity.

Activity will always reward you and set you apart.

Life is all about activity and whatever that is inactive is considered dead.

Pursue excellence with activity and success will chase you pants down!

Be active and keep winning!

Why You Still Face The Shit You Don't Like

face shit you don't like?

At various times in our lives we face some kind of shit we don't like. Whether you're bored, you're in an abusive relationship or you're doing a kind of job you don't like, the point is that you still face some shit anyway. Shit here refers to the unwanted circumstances or situations in our lives.

Many think that the best way out of the shit they find themselves is by simply running away from it or just ignoring it and pretending like it doesn't exist. The reverse is actually the case.

Some people walk into a place and after spending some minutes there, they're like "This place is boring,"  then they go off looking for other places that they believe is lively. And if the next place appears boring too, they leave and move on to the next.

Some people jump from one relationship to another, because they feel that their partner isn't doing so well as they expected, then they meet the next person and after some time, they come to the same conclusion and keep running that way.

Some have been blessed to be born in certain countries, but then they start seeing things that aren't right in the country and they want to leave and go live in another country, just to avoid what's not right in theirs. They forget that it was individuals like them who built those countries they run to.

Let's even say, you live with someone who you don't like their behavior. And instead of trying to help that person become a better person, you decide to leave them and run off to "better" people.

Get me right, I'm not saying that you should try to put up with any situation and not leave. There are times when the wise thing to do is to leave, but that's only when you've actually done your own best to transform that circumstance you don't like.

I really feel like we're made to encounter the things we don't like, so that we can play a role in its transformation.

Let's say you are with a group of people, then you think it's boring around them, instead of running away to find more lively groups, why not try to think of a way to make things lively with them?

Or you're in a relationship and you don't like what your partner is doing. Instead of just breaking off the relationship, why not try to make your partner understand? There was a reason you fell in love with him or her in the first place.

It may be your country. You may not like how things are over there. You might be fed up with your president and other leaders. You might be pissed up with corruption. But instead of running away to seemingly better countries, why not be a good citizen of your country, lead by example and at least try to make it better in your own little way?

Instead of always running away from the people who annoy you and people you don't like, why not try to speak to them and affect their lives with your own ways. You might be all they need to change for good. Why always run away without trying?

All these instances boil down to taking responsibility and seeking to create the things we desire instead of just running away to better circumstances.

The negative circumstances(shit) you face are there for you to actually do something about it. That's why you're a human being and not an animal who merely responds to stimulus. You're a creator. It's your duty to create the right circumstances you seek.

Don't always follow the same pattern of running away to better things and conditions, forgetting that everything changes and it's not always about running away and ignoring things.

You can be the one destined to make that transformation. If you don't do it, who will?

This is why many of the unwanted things we face in our lives still haunt us. Indeed, we don't like those things, but instead of playing a role in changing it, we run away and it keeps growing.

If we had played a little role in the transformation, it would've reduced the occurrence of it. But we refuse to play that role and we allow these unwanted things grow in our society and in our lives.

If you don't like anything at all in your life, you should play a role in it's transformation. Running away to the things you like may seem to solve the problem to you, but the truth is that the problem remains unsolved and grows because you didn't do anything about it when you had the chance.

Most of the desirable outcomes we want in life were built by someone or a group of people. Whether it's a country, a loving relationship, lively circumstances, great jobs, wealth, good health, name it. These things were built by men and women who were not running away from creating.

And today, we enjoy the efforts of these people.

Why not try to make your own effort in the creation of those things you desire?

If you've been running in and out of relationships or people, why not try to change those partners or people for good?

If you tried your best and they don't want to change, that's fine, you can leave them to live their lives. But instead of just running away or avoiding them at first, ensure you try to correct them.

Because if you form it as a habit to always run from them, you will keep running. No one is entirely perfect out there because no one is the Almighty God. People have their bad sides, but it's all about whose bad side you can actually put up with.

There's no point to keep running off to other countries to seek for their jobs. Those jobs were created by the creative men and women of that country. Why not take a shot at starting your own business and creating a few jobs in your country instead of just leaving to get a foreign job?

There's nothing like a boring situation. It's all in the state of mind. Boredom only exists because we do not think much. A little bit of thinking will give you ideas to make a place fun when you think it's boring.

Wow.. I have written a lot of words today and I have repeated a lot. I don't even know how to start arranging everything I've written up there, so I'm posting it that way.

However, the whole essence of my post today is that there is always something you can do in your capacity to create something better than what you're getting.

The reason why we still face the shit we don't like is simply because we hardly do anything within our capacities to transform it. Instead we ignore and run away.

We will continually to encounter those things we don't like if we don't play our role in changing it.

So, have the mindset of creating whatever you want to see in your world. Stop desiring already created circumstances because you have your own duty to be the creator of something for someone else.

If we have much more creators than seekers, I think the world will be far better than it currently is.

Create stuff instead of avoiding shit and keep winning!

Live Above The Division

Live above divisions

In today's world, lots of people are increasingly finding it difficult to live above the various forms of division which surrounds their lives. They find it difficult to think beyond where they come from or their religious preferences and this hinders them from a lot of things.

For one to actually be able to live comfortably and survive in a rapidly changing world, one must learn to be tolerant and to love other people irrespective of where those people come from or their peculiar sets of beliefs.

If only a man could learn to think beyond the confines of his own beliefs or roots, he would discover many ways of working in harmony with his fellow man.

Being tolerant of others and loving them doesn't mean you agree with everything they say or behave like them. It means being open minded enough to see things from their own point of view.

This will help you better understand the motives of these people and subsequently know how best to work with them.

Sadly, it appears many people have a mindset fixed on the contrary. They cannot think beyond the divisions they find themselves.

You come from a particular place, so everyone from another place is always wrong. You believe in a religion, so every other person who believes in another religion is an idiot.

They share the opinion that where they come from and whatever they believe in is far superior to those of other people.

Naturally, this attitude will definitely create conflict when working with people. There's no way that you'll feel superior about yourself that it won't rub off on others.

Your actions and your attitude will always reflect that sense of superiority. You will find out that you will always want to downplay other systems of beliefs different from yours and you will treat people who don't share the same origin with you unfairly.

If we cannot live above the division and learn to respect one another, then we cannot live in peace. At some point, those who are offended will feel the need to retaliate and the cycle continues that way.

A popular Nigerian singer, Hadiza Blell, better known by her stage name Di'Ja, was recently attacked with a statement mocking her Hausa origin and here was her reply on Instagram:

"I can understand the anger in the country. I can understand the disappointment most are feeling. I can understand the pain WE ALL feel when you just want things to work, but I cannot understand tribalism and insults in regards to personal life, personal religion and personal choice.

Most of us are born into what we now know. THIS ISN’T EVEN AN INSULT compared to the ones I get on the daily based on being Hausa, (you don’t want to see my DMs ) but it serves a purpose for today. I did not destroy our country. WE ALL DID BY ALLOWING IGNORANCE TO PREVAIL.

Tomorrow we will insult someone for being Yoruba; the next day on being Igbo; another day on being Idoma and so on. Keep in mind HORRIBLE/BAD POLITICIANS FEED AND THRIVE OFF A DIVIDED PEOPLE. We cannot expect the government to fix problems when we can’t fix US!

You want change?! Then it is time you begin to change your mindset. SURPRISE YOURSELVES and come together regardless of your differences. It is the only technique we haven’t tried yet. It is only then can we be the change we are looking for!

This is why MUSIC is my life because it surpasses all these man made divisions. Don’t be part of the system. Live above it and watch Nigeria become NIGERIA.

I will forever be proud of who I am, where I am from and what I am on my way to become and YOU SHOULD TOO. "


The response was simply amazing coming from a musician who understood the indispensable value of living above mere divisions.

It's very important we understand this and try to put it into practice in relating with other people because ultimately we will find out that we are not so different from one another after all.

Many people miss out on wonderful opportunities to transform their lives simply because they were biased towards other people.

Let me ask you a question: Let's say you're believe in religion A and you're in deep trouble synonymous with a matter of life or death and you need urgent help.

Would you reject help from the first person that comes to you knowing he believes in religion B? Would you even think about the person's religion at that point in time? I bet it wouldn't even matter.

But every single day, most of us allow these things matter and keep us from the possibilities of building very good relationships with others.

Your success in life may not really come from only associating with people from your tribe, family or religion. You could be motivated and inspired to achieve much more simply by contact with someone who may be so different from you.

But we keep getting ourselves stuck in divisions and keep beating about the bush in our search for personal development.

Let's try to live above these divisions and work with other people. Let's drop the judgemental attitude and let's stop making assumptions about every other person who may be different from us by virtue of religion or origin.

I hope this pricks your mind positively. Stay sharp and keep winning!

Questions Are Golden

questions are Golden

Many of us don't realize how golden our questions could be. We sometimes fail to see that asking a question could be the only thing keeping us from moving to point A from point B. We tend to be shy to ask questions because we fear that other people may see us as incompetent.

There was this young man who joined us recently at the place where I currently work. He just finished off from a well known technical school around the area and he was lucky enough to land a job with the firm.

He was so all about his knowledge and expertise in the field and kept on looking for opportunities to explain things to any of the staff members who cared to listen.

Well, we all admired the young chap and we almost believed he was as competent as he claimed. Then came his first job role; it was the most basic. He was assigned to balance weights on a car tyre to ensure that the weights were evenly distributed and the tyres won't wear off unevenly.

This guy immediately set to work instead of asking any of the staff how the machine was run. He simply believed he knew it all. As he was trying to set up the vehicle's tyre, he made a big mistake and he didn't lock in the tyre accurately..

An assistant tried to interrupt him and show him the correct way of locking it in. However, the "all knowing" dude refused to listen, so the assistant left him to continue.

I was at a corner observing him alongside other senior members of the staff. We gave ourselves knowing looks and laughed at the boy's attitude.

But the guy kept on saying that he knows what he was doing, that he had studied it in school and that we should come and check his phone to see that his procedure is online and indeed "very correct!"

No one argued with the boy. We just watched him as we already knew the outcome of his wrong setups. As expected, the automobile tyres kept giving him wrong values and he almost injured himself trying to still balance the simple tyre with more weights than even necessary. We all almost burst out into laughter at his frustration.

After he tried his best and came to accept his inability to do the task, our most senior staff had to come in. He reset the wrong arrangements of the new guy and followed the correct procedures.

What the chap couldn't do in 30 minutes, he accomplished in 2minutes. Then after he finished, he looked at the boy and only said four words: "Learn to ask questions." I think the boy learnt his lesson that day.

I shared this experience just to emphasize the importance of asking questions.

Asking questions doesn't necessarily mean you don't know (even if it does, so what?). Asking questions mean you're ready to learn new things. It means you're willing to know the best ways of doing any stuff.

Every time you pretend like you know something because you want to avoid asking a question, you run two risks:

The first one is that you may never get another better opportunity of knowing that thing.

The second is that you run the risk of embarrassment or painful mistakes when the time will come for you to do it and you can't.

If you don't want to make same mistakes over and over, please ask questions.

A philosopher once said:

'The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.'

It's better to be seen as a fool, then get to know something that you don't. Than to be seen as a wise man, then they discover you actually know nothing.

Our people say that: "Onye ajuju anaghi efu uzo" which is translated as "The one who is fond of asking questions cannot miss his way."

It's as simple as that.

Most of us who have gone to good schools and are well read are fond of making the mistake of not asking enough questions.

You may feel that by virtue of your education, you know much more than other people who may not have been so privileged to get the same education.

Then you underrate them and you refuse to ask them questions when some of them may have the keys to something you seek.

That's what's keeping many people from excelling in life. There's something you can learn from anyone. No one knows it all, no matter how well read.

Build networks with people of like minds, but never despise what you can learn from those who may look less privileged.

Don't be afraid to ask anyone questions when your mind pricks you about something.

Your success isn't far away if you learn to always ask clarifying questions. And when you get good answers, be grateful.

Bear this in mind and keep winning! 

The Illusion Of Valentines Day

illusion of valentines day

It's February 14th again. Valentines day is celebrated around the world as lovers day. On this day lovers are expected to go the extra mile in showing love to their partners. They are so carried away by the hype that they fail to see the illusion that surrounds it.

Let's start with a brief history of Valentines Day:

Saint Valentine is a popular name associated with Valentines Day and he is frequently attributed with Valentine’s Day history.

He was a Roman priest during the third century, serving under Emperor Claudius. Strict Emperor Claudius believed that single men made better soldiers than married ones with families, and he therefore passed a law making marriage illegal for all young soldiers.

Valentine recognized the absurdity of this law and continued to marry young couples in secret, effectively defying his Emperor's order.

When Claudius discovered Valentine’s acts of defiance, he had him killed immediately. Valentine was later canonized by the Vatican and, in the 5th century, February 14th was named his feast day, the day designated by the church to honor and commemorate a saint’s life.

Another version here claims:
In France and England, February 14th is the beginning of the birds’ mating season, which symbolizes love, fertility, and the promise of spring.

Valentine’s day is celebrated in several countries throughout the world, including France, England, Australia, and of course The United States. The day began to rise in popularity around the 17th century, where it was very common for friends to exchange little gifts and notes of affection.

The first Valentine’s Day card was said to be sold in 1840 by Esther Howland, also known as The Mother of the Valentine, and today it is estimated that over 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year.

Those were the two common stories associated with the origin of Valentines Day.

With time, Valentines day seems to have been redefined. It has become a day when lovers are expected to overdo things and expect something extraordinary from their partners.

In all, it's supposed to be a day to celebrate love, but the illusion of expecting too much from another person is making the day distasteful.

Secondly, it creates the illusion that romance is higher than all other forms of love. A lot of partners in relationships feel that they are obliged to have sex on valentines day in order to show how much they love their partners.

You'll find out that there's a higher tendency for someone who may not really love you that much to allow you have access to their body. Why is it suddenly easier on valentines day? Something worth thinking about.

Last but not the least, it makes love seem like it's reserved for a special day. I mean, you have 365 days every year to show your love to another person.

Why wait to show that love only on Valentines day? Love isn't something that we have to save for a particular day or express fully on February 14th only.

Love is life itself and if we want to live fully, we should be free to show our love every single day. We don't have to hoard it until it's valentines day. Why wait?

Despite this illusion that I see associated with today, I still feel it's important to contemplate on the real meaning of true love and still show love to someone today.

Don't just do them today, contemplate love and show love to someone any other day you feel like, it doesn't have to be only today.

And you don't have to pretend you like someone because it's valentines day. You don't have to try to overdo things except you naturally feel that way. Neither do you have to decide to have sex with someone you don't even love because you're under valentines day pressure.

Let's be more real with ourselves today and celebrate love without allowing those illusions destroy the true meaning of what we're meant to celebrate today.

Have fun. Happy lover's day!

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