Your Own Needs Matter!

your own needs matter

I used to be that person who always puts his needs last. I only considered what other people wanted without considering my own needs. I did this because I felt I will be liked by other people or gain their admiration.

I was doing all for them and for their approval. It turned out that even though I was putting my needs behind and working for the needs of others people, I was still unhappy. I got their approval and most of them thought, "He's such a nice guy." But I wasn't happy.

The prison of what other people would say or think about me kept me behaving this way for quite some time. But then I found out I wasn't living my life. I was not doing what I wanted to. Life wasn't fun for me even though I made others happy. What was the problem?

I had to think deeply about it as it bothered me a lot. Then, somehow I figured out the answer: My own needs really matter. I didn't have to sweep those needs under the carpet while helping meet the needs of others. There was a connecting point between my needs and the needs of other people.

I could meet my own individual needs while also meeting other people's needs. It wasn't meant to be a win - lose situation. That was the problem. I was making other people happy, because I only wanted to please them, without considering my unhappy self.

I figured out that there is a way to please myself while pleasing others. This is different from being selfish because selfishness focuses on pleasing oneself even at the disadvantage of other people around you. This was beyond selfishness. It brought mutual happiness. I was happy understanding that I could still make people around me happy while honoring my own needs in any situation.

It was a win-win. It was the perfect answer. I didn't have to do things just because I needed the approval of people around me. That's important, but most importantly, I must do things because I really wanted to do them and achieve my own objective as well.

It was an eye opening moment. A moment of deep insight. I've been a happier individual ever since. Happy with life, happy with self and sharing that happiness with people around me.

Keep winning! 

What are you too conscious of?


If you're not too conscious about something, others won't be too conscious about it too.
A mad man isn't aware that he's naked or acting crazy. You may see him on the road for a brief moment.. You may laugh momentarily, but you don't go on thinking about the mad man or his nakedness all day. You become unconscious of him too as soon as you pass him.

The mad man isn't bothered or worried as he's unconscious of himself.
What are you too conscious about in your life?
Some people are too conscious of their skin color, their height, their size, a torn cloth or anything at all. They keep these things in their consciousness for too long that indeed other people start noticing it.

Your cloth is torn and you start walking or sitting somehow.. people will become interested in finding out why you are walking or sitting that way.
You are short and everywhere you go you keep referring to your height. More people will notice, some of whom didn't care about it before.

Are you fat? Do you think the world cares about your size? It's only when you think other people only see you're fat that you start worrying about it. No one cares. Fat people are making it and becoming celebrities. You think anyone really looks at their size?
Whatever it is that you are too conscious about, learn to be free from holding onto it too much in your mind. Nobody thinks about your height all day or your torn cloth for 24 hours.

I mean.. people are not stupid. They have other things to worry about and think about. Why are you thinking that the whole world is looking at you or any of your defects? They aren't. Your own consciousness of it is what is deceiving you. Let it go.

Think about it. Keep winning! 

Life is like a Game of Football

Life is like a football game

I never liked football and sometimes, I wonder what men like in the game. The worst part of it is that I don't really like green, so the colour of the field even turns me off. But one day, i decided to watch a football match and a force just got me interested and i fell In love with it.

Ironically, I was not watching it with the same mindset as every football lover would watch a football match which is to know if a particular team(Chelsea or Arsenal) will win. Rather, I watched every thing that was actually going on in the field and studied it carefully.

I noticed that before the match starts, each team will pray. And so once the game begins, every player would focus on the ball, I saw the passion with which every player strived to get the ball. Even when a player is with the ball, other opponent players will dribble him just to snatch that ball but he must face them and dribble them as well and try to pass the ball to his team player, why? Because he trusts that they have the same mission.

Meanwhile, the commentators will always be telling the world who is doing badly, who almost did well and who actually did well. I noticed that each team has a coach and you can tell if a player is doing well on the field by the look on his face. But then, even though they work as a team, only players who score a goal will be announced and celebrated ; even the headlines will pick it up for example, "Ronaldo just scored the first goal."

Meanwhile, there are rules, if you break the rules, you will get a red card. If a player could not do well in the first half, they get a another chance in the second half. So there is so much work to do on that field, any player that goes to play with no determination and focus on the ball will never be recognised except by football fans who will help blow the trumpet "that guy, very sluggish, he cant even play, he should be thrown out ; he is a disgrace"
I hear this very well from football fans.

And then, this got me inspired.
I likened a football match with life journey to destiny.
Every player will pray before the match starts but only those who work hard enough will be celebrated.
So if you decide to pray all night with no hard work, you are going no where. Every player is passionate about scoring a goal and so he does not take his eyes off the ball. How passionate are you towards achieving your goals in life? Or are you nonchalant and aimless in life?

Players are dribbled but they stay focussed on retaining the ball, they do not just allow the opponents collect the ball. In life, you will get a lot of distractions trying to take your eyes off your goals, do you allow that? You should refuse to get distracted. When players are dribbled, they try to pass the ball to their fellow team player. In life, do you have the right friends who are on the same page with you? I mean good friends who want to see the best in you and try to encourage you to pursue your goals?

Commentators talk about every activity on the field... Do you know that you are being watched by a number of people and what you do will be publicly announced? The coach watches his players play and he frowns when they are taking the wrong moves on the field. God is your coach in life; Are you striving to impress Him or you are making Him frown at you?

A player will only be recognised and celebrated if he scores a goal, are you striving to make great impact and achieve your goals in life? Players who mess up get a red card.. How diligent are you in your service? Are you misbehaving when you should be serious minded? There is always a second half, an opportunity to do better but once the whistle is blown, that's the end.

Are you making use of opportunities that come your way or you think you have all day?
Just like the football match, you have so much work to do in the field of life.
Be focused on your goal,
Be determined
Be time conscious
Make the right friends
And strive towards greatness.
Live your life like you are in a football match.

~Beautifully written by: Eno Sam

Live A life of No Excuses

Live a life of no excuses

Most people have a thousand and one excuses why they are living a crappy life. You hear people say things like: "I wasn't born into a very wealthy family like X," "I'm not as beautiful or good looking as Y," "There are no opportunities around me like those in country Z," "I'm not loved like or by X," etcetera.

Many people make up different excuses to explain or justify why they are still living in a disadvantageous state. The plain truth is that there is always an excuse available. You can always make up an excuse for anything at any time. Hence, if one becomes too used to making excuses, it becomes hard to overcome the habit because one never runs out of excuses.

This turns out very dangerous to us. Living a life filled with excuses is only a gateway to failure and shows a high level of irresponsibility. There are really no excuses needed to live a successful life. A successful life, I think, is a life that enables the individual live happily and genuinely make positive impact on the lives of many others.

To really become successful and happy individuals, we must to stop making excuses to explain any unfavorable situation we may find ourselves. Making excuses only implies that our situation is "justified" by the excuse. Therefore, whenever you make an excuse, you simply say, "This is the reason why I am here, I cannot do anything about it."

A life of "no excuses" is the life of a bold winner. A bold winner doesn't make excuses and hardly talks about his/her negative or unfavorable situation. Expert bold winners are even oblivious of adverse situations. They make no excuses, but rather continue to press for their desired goals, dreams, targets and aspirations. They understand that excuses are for losers. A winner needs no excuse. They focus on winning and they don't need excuses to win.

If you've been making any recurrent excuses in your life, make it a point of duty today to quit and discard whatever excuses you may have in your life. It is limiting you and stalling your progress. Learn to take responsibility for whatever situation you find yourself and continue to do what you can to turn it around and get to your desired destination.

If you do this, you have become a true bold winner and our winning never ends. Keep winning!

-Nigel

Choose To Remain Happy

Choose to stay happy

Often times in our lives when we are not achieving the results that we expect while working towards anything, we tend to feel sad, unhappy and depressed. Whenever we put in our very best and the outcome doesn't look very good, we easily lose our hope and we ask ourselves, "what's the point?"

When you look at those people around you, it may appear that most or all of them are seemingly getting it right and they have made significant accomplishments and achievements. But when you look at yourself, it seems as if you have a long way to go. You begin to feel terrible about your own life and you wonder if life is playing a sort of joke on you. You start asking, "What is happening to me?"

I want to share this with you if you've ever felt that way, if you're about to lose hope, if you're fed up with your own challenge, if you've lost your joy(the joy of living) or if you ever felt like giving up because of the present situation of things. And here it goes:

You can choose to stay happy in these situations. You can be happy and it is very important that you stay happy even when things don't look so promising. I've come to learn that life constantly tests us and whatever challenge we face is testing every one of us to see how strong we can withstand the storm and the harsh realities of life.

You can throw in the towel when this test comes your way. You can back off, grumble and complain. You can become unhappy, lose your motivation or accept defeat. You can do these things and prove to life that you are not worth it and you do not have what it takes to come out tops. If you choose to do these, you've failed the test and your situation won't change.

You can also choose to stay happy in these challenges you face. You can choose to pick up your sword and continue to fight your way through the tests of life. Life will keep coming at you with stronger tests, but you can choose to continue to fight by continuing to try and staying happy in the process. When you stay happy, you put your tests and challenges in a dilemma. They wonder: "Why are you still happy even when you're passing through these things?"

You are already winning because you are confusing those challenges coming at you. It will mean that you are confident that those tests have no power over you and you are certain that will pass through them successfully. Believe me, those challenges will pass over when you maintain your happiness.

Happiness attracts happiness. I believe the world will be a better place if everyone of us is happy doing what we do. When we are happy despite our different predicaments, we are motivated to keep doing what we do with passion. We continue to try and our success is guaranteed whenever we keep trying.

Therefore, try your best to stay happy in anything you are doing. In whatever situation you find yourself, don't let yourself get so down that you lose your joy and your smile. Keep doing what you can do and keep trying your best in happiness. You will see your dreams come true before your very eyes.

If you're not happy doing anything, it is better you don't even start doing it in the first place. If you do anything out of unhappiness, you tend to do it haphazardly and the output won't be very nice.

Choose to be happy no matter the situation of things out there. It is only our unrelenting happiness even in the midst of our tests that proves to life that indeed we are worth it and we can withstand the storm. We pass the test by staying happy and doing our best at all times. When we pass the test, we get exactly what we want.

Keep winning!

We Are Not Meant To Do The Same Things

We are not meant to do the same things

In this world, some of us think that we should do exactly what another person has done or follow exactly another person's path. We want to study the course another person studied, even when we don't like it. We want a job another person has got even when we are not talented to do the job. We want to do things in the same way another person did it. We want to be experts in another person's field and etcetera.

We continue to struggle to be like someone else or do what someone else does and in the process we forget ourselves and our uniqueness. We are not all meant to be Doctors, who will be the patient? Who will rule? Who will defend the country? Neither are we all meant to be footballers, not everyone is born with the natural talent.

Should we all be comedians? Who will be laughing at our jokes? Should we all become presidents? Who will lead? Or maybe we all should become bloggers, who will read our blogs? Lol. I believe you are gradually getting my point right now.

You shouldn't just try to be what another person is. You should rather try to discover your own special talents and work earnestly towards being yourself. If you should check out the lives of very successful people, you will find out that they share one thing in common: they carve out their own way and they do things differently. They are able to do so because they are not focused on copying another person, they are simply being themselves.

We are not all meant to go into same things. We are just created that way to be good in certain things and not so good in other ones. We tend to like some things and dislike another one. Therefore, pay attention to yourself and be honest with what you like and what you're good in.

Look, we are all champions in that field which we have been designed for. No one is born or created to be a loser. A loser is simply someone who has not found his place in the world and discovered his strengths. The only time you start losing is when you abandon what you are designed for and start forcing yourself to be like someone else designed for an entirely different thing.

You are you. And you must come to terms with that and respect yourself. Now this article doesn't say you should not admire the qualities of some people, by all means, you should admire the lives of great and distinguished men and women. But DON'T try to COPY them.

 Learn from them and use the knowledge to improve and BE YOURSELF. You can do it better than them. You can do something that those you admire never thought of. If you focus on copying them, you fail to explore the territories that ONLY you can explore.

You must have fully understood me by now. If you find that special niche meant for you or that unique part of existence that you're meant to fill, you will always be happy in whatever you do. You will not struggle with work because everyday you are happy doing what you do in your special niche.

Don't make yourself worried, sad or unhappy by abandoning your space and trying to be someone else. It doesn't work out that way. Discover yourself, know who you are, know what you really want to do and relentlessly go for it with passion. Nothing can stop you. And always remember: We are not meant to do the same things!

Keep winning! 

Be True To Yourself!




If you're like most people, you'd be very reluctant to admit your weaknesses, imperfections or flaws. You'd like to pretend to be perfect even when deep down you know you're not.
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The reason behind this is psychological and ego based. We all want to appear perfect, blameless and impeccable to other people around us. That's why we like pushing the blame outside ourselves.
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The danger in this instinctive attitude is that it actually does more harm than good to your efforts at succeeding and achieving your objectives.
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The biblical story of the Pharisee and the tax collector kind of illustrates the danger in this attitude. Both men went into the same temple to pray to God.
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The Pharisee was busy claiming to be perfect and boasting of how different he is from the 'sinners'. He was so proud of his virtues forgetting that no matter what, there is always room for progress.
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The tax collector was more real. He already started by admitting the truth that he had sinned and was deserving of God's mercy. And he went home justified with his prayer was answered.
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If we really want to succeed, we must build our foundation on truth and an honest admittance of our flaws and mistakes. If we've been lazy, we've got to admit it. If we don't know how to do something, there is no point pretending to know it and look stupid. We have to admit our ignorance and humble ourselves to learn.
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Claiming to be what you're clearly not stagnates you. It keeps you in the same position while you keep deceiving yourself with your false sense of pride. If you don't like your job, your relationship and your current situation, you must be honest to admit it. No need to pretend and give reasons why you're stuck there.
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Whenever we come to accept our weaknesses, it immediately empowers us and frees our mindset to work on them. We begin to see ourselves making genuine effort to utilise our time in becoming better individuals.
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I'd recommend an exercise for you. Stand in front of a mirror, look at yourself very well and tell yourself the whole truth about yourself, your present situation and where you want to be. Ensure to tell yourself the weaknesses you have and you need to work on. Don't be shy, trying to hide them hinders you. So say it out loud to yourself. And genuinely resolve to work on them.
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The exercise is simply empowering. Whenever you do that, you're no longer afraid of people discovering your flaws or talking about it. You'll become free to work on yourself and achieve your dreams without trying so hard to paint yourself as perfect.
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So, be true to yourself. You're not living in this world to prove to anyone that you're perfect. No one even cares about whatever you're claiming to be and what you want to prove. Rather the world cares about what you have to offer, what you can contribute to make life better here.
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It's pointless wasting your energy on pretence and camouflage. Be yourself, open yourself up to others. Let them see what they want to see. Let them praise you or curse you. It doesn't matter! What matters is that you've got nothing to hide and you've become free to take full responsibility of your life.
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I sincerely hope that this article will be of benefit to at least one person.
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Till next time,
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Be true to yourself and keep winning.
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Nigel


Choose To See The World Positively

Choose To see the world positively

How do you see the world? What kind of a place do you believe the world to be? What do you think about everyone else? These questions are necessary for you to answer because the way you see things play a crucial role in what you tend to experience.

Some people tend to have a very negative view about life and if you take a closer look at them, they tend to get exactly what they believe in. Take for example someone who believes that everyone else is out to get them. This person believes strongly that no one else really cares about them and everyone wants to rip them off. This state of mind makes them react negatively to people who may genuinely want to help them.

Their reaction towards those people makes those people turn away from them and leave them on their own. And when these people turn away angrily, the one with the negative belief about people in his heart will say, "Yes, I said it. They have gone away because they do not really care about me." And inside his heart, he confirms this wrong belief.

This is a sort of vicious circle that goes on and on for him solidifying his negative beliefs. Note that what drove those good willing persons away  was not that they were really out to get this person, but rather it was due to the person's reaction towards them. The reactions were as a result of the individual's negative beliefs about them.

Another person may believe that there are no opportunities in the world for them. This person with this view about life will not recognise opportunities around him because he believes otherwise. He will even pass up on great chances that are brought to his knowledge because he sees the world poorly.

How about those who believe that everyone around them is wicked, hateful or evil? They tend to only see wickedness and experience it often times because the way they choose to see other people affects the way they react to them. And it is usually offensive.

Think about this for a moment. Those who see the world in a beautiful way tend to see the beauty in everything. It's doesn't mean that they are not discerning to know when they should be careful. They see and understand everything, but they chose to still see life in a positive light. This keeps them experiencing the best.

The way you see the world is the way the world shows itself to you. Yes, there are good things and bad things happening, but always choose to continue recognising the good things and seeing opportunities around you.

 No matter how bad things may appear to be, always maintain a positive outlook that things will always get better. This outlook is what moves you to react positively to life which leads to positive results. Don't let the negativity make you lose sight of the good.

Always see the brighter side. Don't let the downside of life steal away your motivation. Stay sharp and keep that beautiful outlook on life steady. You will see things changing in your life in beautiful ways.

Just see the world positively.

Keep winning! 

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