Sunday, 26 February 2017
The world tends to favour those who know exactly what they want out of it. People who are clear about exactly what they want or the direction they have to go in life find it easier to accomplish their goals whereas those who aren't clear live hazy lives.
Think about two people hunting for treasure in a maze filled with items. One of them knows exactly the treasure he is looking for. He knows it so well that he is once he finds it anywhere, he knows. The other is looking for the treasure, but he doesn't have an idea of what he is looking for. Even if he sees the treasure, he won't know he has found it because he has no clue at all.
Which of them do you think will easily find the treasure? Of course it will be the one who has clues and ideas of what the treasure looks like and it's qualities. He will spot the treasure from far away because he 'knows' exactly what he's looking for. So it is easier to spot it. This simply summarizes our lives.
The maze is this world we live in. The treasure is the common goal we seek to achieve which can be said to be happiness, wealth and health. You be appropriately directed to our treasures, we must have a strong direction. This is our clue that points us to our own treasure. You must define exactly what you want and how you want to achieve it. When you do so, it is easier to spot your own treasure and grab it.
Most people are living aimless lives and anything goes for them because they simply have not sat down to define exactly what they want and how they intend to achieve it. This makes them miss out on multiple opportunities which they could have identified easily if they had guides and clues which is from their plans and directed intent.
Whatever it is you want.. First, you define the parameters. You don't just accept anything goes. That's a choice too though, but I think you deserve better. You deserve exactly what you want and believe you me if you are willing to define exactly what that is and how to get it, you will get in in no time.
In your relationships, you should define the kind of partner you want. You define the qualities you want in him/her and go for it. Don't make it unrealistic though because no one is perfect. Identify what you want from a partner and seek for it.
In your career, define what you really want to do with your life and how you want to do that. Don't just do anything. Whatever you do must be part of a plan to that thing you really want else you waste your time. Always know exactly what you want, know exactly how you intend to achieve it and the steps you need to take and you will rise quickly on the success ladder.
Friday, 24 February 2017
No one was born to be pitied. There is always a way forward in whatever anyone presently faces in his/her life right now. Don't expect to be pitied as a way out of it. Don't expect anyone to start feeling sorry for you and make the way for you.
You must make the way for yourself. If people will help you, that's fine, accept their help. If they don't want to help you, that's fine as well, you were not entirely depending on them. You just have to prove that you deserve whatever you want to get.
Sometimes when some people are talking maybe in a job interview, discussion, social gatherings or when they want something from someone, they start telling stories of how they lost their loved ones, how they were abandoned, how they are struggling and difficulties they face.
They keep talking about circumstances, what they've been through, their life and all what not. People don't really want to hear those stories. People want to hear how you can be of benefit to them and what you're bringing to the table. Prove to them that you're deserving of whatever position they are willing to give you in their lives.
You don't have to beg for it. You don't have to expect them to pity you and say something like, "Oh, he lost his parents at a young age, so let's give him the job." when you have not demonstrated that you are very fit for the role. You should demonstrate what you are already doing or what you have done which makes you relevant to other people.
Here is the ugly truth: Everyone expects something from you which could be of benefit to them. It could be your skills, time, money, attention, love or anything else. People want something from you always and they expect you to be able to give it to them. Then they too will be willing to meet your own expectations as well.
It's then a win-win situation for everyone. You are able to give expectant people what they want and they compensate you adequately for your contributions. Everyone is happy. But if you are expecting them to give you something for nothing or out of their pity for you. You're wasting your time.
Look.. There must be something you can give. Train yourself and your mind to always give it and opportunities will always be knocking at your door. Show the world that you're capable of giving them what they expect from you and the world will become your oyster. Don't wish for anyone to pity you.
Thursday, 16 February 2017
In today's society, some people try to appear too nice and overdo things in order to win the love, respect or admiration of other people. Ironically, it usually turns out that they get the opposite of what they want because they were trying to be too nice.
Think about this: Parents who keep on letting their kid have whatever he or she wants end up spoiling that kid no matter how generous they think they are. The kid grows up not knowing that some things are not good for him because the parents had not disciplined him properly. And why's that? They were trying to be too nice.
You own a pet and all the time your pet keeps on peeing in your living room. You don't want to punish that pet by using some strict training practices because you claim to love the pet and you're trying to be a nice pet owner. What happens? The pet goes on misbehaving and causing problems for you.
You're in an abusive and unhappy relationship. Your partner keeps on doing the things you don't like. He may beat you up, cheat, and do all sorts of things to show a lack of love and non commitment. But you keep on trying to defend him, you don't want to show that you're actually unhappy with their behavior. You keep quiet and keep tolerating crap because you're being too nice. What happens? They keep doing it.
Okay, someone keeps on harassing you and keeps on troubling you. You have done nothing wrong to them, but they seem to derive pleasure in interfering with you and your life. You keep trying to ignore them because you're a nice person, but they keep on looking for your trouble. Would you go on ignoring them forever because you're too nice?
It is unnatural for us to be too nice. We should be nice people, but when we take it to the extreme, it could be a limitation or a sign of fear. You have to try and relate very well with everyone, but don't try to be too nice to the point of tolerating nonsense from anyone, anything or any situation.
Do what you have to do and learn to express what you really feel instead of holding it in because you're trying to be too nice. If you've got to punish your kid or deny him some things, please do so. If your pet misbehaves, discipline it appropriately.
If you are in an abusive relationship, come out of it for your own good. If the person really loves you, they will come to their senses else, good riddance! If you have to confront some troublesome people, do so and let them know you're tired of their crap.
If you're not happy with anything, don't try to pretend in the name of being too nice. Just be natural and do what the situation really calls for with smart reasoning. You will find out that if you don't try too hard to be nice, but rather do what you have to do, things will gradually fall in place and work out well. From better responsible kids, lovers and pets to a better and happier life filled with genuine people.
Be real, be nice.. but don't try to be too nice.
Saturday, 11 February 2017
The people who make up entire population of the world can be divided into two simple categories: those who do and those who don't. As a living human being you belong to one of these categories depending on your approach to life and the choices you make. Let's look into the two classes.
The class of "those who do," are confident, happy, determined and very successful people. They love to do things and take control of their lives. They don't necessarily have to depend on anybody or anything in order to achieve their goals.
No matter how things are, "those who do" find a way to do something about it once it is in their power. They recognize that they have a choice and in whatever they face, they simply find their way through making smart choices and taking actions that they need to take.
You don't find this class easily telling their problems to anyone or grumble about other people or bad situations around them. They may talk about it occasionally, but only for very brief moments because they know that unnecessary complaints don't achieve what they want. They know what they do is what actually achieves it, so they keep doing.
"Those who do" tend to always become very successful in life because they obey the principle of life; you have to give to get. They give through their actions and earnest efforts to make a contribution and they are definitely rewarded for it. They are happier because they always reap the fruits of what they have done. They know it's in their hands.
The other class of those who don't are actually the opposite. You find them expressing dissatisfaction and resentment towards other people or conditions around them. They easily blame those things for their present predicaments instead of doing anything about it. That's why they are usually sad.
They are not happy because they spend more time resenting and grumbling over issues rather than do anything about it. Hence, they achieve no results because they don't do anything. You give nothing and you definitely get nothing. Their lives remain the same because they don't want to do things.
They tell their problems to almost everyone thinking that other people really care about their complaints. They forget that other people are struggling with their own problems as well and looking for a way to solve them. This class believes that the world owes them something for nothing. They fail to recognize the world works like an input to output system.
They are usually not successful people. Not because they can't be, but simply because they waste the time they could have used to start doing stuff on things that are unimportant.
So ask yourself, which class do you belong? Compare the characteristics of the two and see where you fall into. Bold winners are those who do. Those who take control and create the life they want. If you're on the wrong class, kindly make necessary adjustments and join those who do.
Tuesday, 7 February 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at February 07, 2017
Often times, some people come to me and say, "I want to build a house," "I want to be a billionaire," "I want to own my own company," "I want to be famous," "I want to meet the love of my life," and may other things like that. But when I ask them what they are currently doing about that or how they intend to achieve it, very few of them give concrete answers.
It's easy, very easy to say that you want you want those things; that you want the finest things in life. I mean, who doesn't want them? Everyone wants to be better than they are and be able to achieve these common desires but not many of them have made clear plans or started working consistently towards achieving them.
Talk is cheap. Many people are willing to talk and tell you about what they want. The reason why few people actually get those things whereas many do not is that few people make steady efforts to go for these things. These few even hardly talk about their goals and plans but rather focus on activity. They know that to achieve their desires, they must be doing something about it constantly.
It is activity that brings you closer to anything you intend to achieve. Nothing else does. Nothing will change if you do not change yourself. Nothing will happen if you do not do anything but talk. If you remain the same, do the same things and roll with the same set of people, you will get the same results.
Rather than always talk about what you intend to accomplish, learn to be quiet and think deeply about it while formulating deep solid plans to achieve them. Set your deadlines and work in accordance with it. Work on these plans every day without relenting and see how fast everything changes in accordance with your actions.
You should only talk about your dreams to those you trust, those who can really help and those who share similar interests in what you intend to achieve. Don't share it with just anybody.
Quietly work out your way up there and walk the path. You will definitely achieve whatever you want to achieve. You don't have to tell me or anybody else about it except if you really need to do so. Tell it to yourself and work towards it. Enough said!
Friday, 3 February 2017
You may not have have won that appointment or competition. What you created or built today may not be the very best in the whole world. The food you tried your best to cook may have tasted crappy. You may not have delivered your speech right. You may not have had the perfect first date.
You know what's important in all that? The fact that you tried your best given the opportunity. It doesn't matter how these things you've been planning and working on finally turns out. It doesn't really matter if things never went as you thought it would go.
What matters is that you go to bed confident that despite the unexpected outcome, you gave your best in whatever you did. Being able to try your best in any situation you find yourself is something you should really be proud of.
You may not have eventually won the appointment, but at least you were among those selected in the preliminary stages. Your performance may not have been good enough to win that competition, but you tried anyway. At least you made it up to that stage where many others couldn't.
Your speech may not have been so perfect, but you were bold enough to get up that stage, hold that microphone and talk to the audience. Few people can actually do that. Your date with someone may not have been so great as you may have envisioned, but at least you showed up and you broke away from your regular routine to try something new.
The results should not make you give up or think you're a failure. Actually all failures are stepping stones to success. I once said that the formula to success is to fail, fail and keep failing till you succeed. No one gets it right the first time! So be proud that you were able to do something which was your best. Be proud that despite those fears you were still able to push yourself to try.
That's a step in the right direction. The more you're willing to try, the better you become. So never feel sorry for yourself or sad that things never turned out quite well. Pat yourself on the back for at least mustering the courage to try. Tell yourself that you tried your best and be damn proud of it.
Don't ever dwell on any negative outcome. Always try your best and keep on trying it. Never lose hope and never call yourself a failure. You're a winner when you always try your best!
Thursday, 2 February 2017
Are you wondering how you're ever going to handle a specific task or accomplish something big? Are you worried about how you can make that speech, ask someone out on a date, pass that course, raise those kids? Are you thinking too much about how to do anything? What's bothering you?
I don't know what it is, but one major problem that you may be facing right now is that you're thinking too much about it. Thinking too much about it means that you only extend the time the problem will stay. Think about it. They say, "the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."
The step is what kicks off the solution. Thinking about it initially could help, but if you overdo it, it delays the solution. You know you're overdoing it when you start feeling depressed and incapable of surmounting your challenges.
If you keep thinking about the 1000 steps involved, you'll end up worried and unable to do anything. Just focus on doing it by taking the little steps you can and stop worrying about everything involved. If you focus on taking one step at a time, before you know it 1, 2, 3, 4 , 100, 500, 800…1000 and you find your task accomplished.
Don't think too much about it, that's the mistake most of us make. Just do it! Because doing something makes the task easier one at a time. Get outside your head and do something to make some progress in anything you want to achieve.
If there's anything you trying to figure out how to do, just do it in any little way you can. If you're trying to perfect your speech for an audience, you don't worry about how you are going to speak to about 100,000 people. You start practicing how to speak to small groups of 10, 20, 100 people and keep increasing until you're able to comfortably speak to the target number.
Are you worried about how you're going to pass your courses? Start with the ones you can handle and find ways you can learn the tougher ones from teachers or course mates. No matter how big your problems are, there is always one step you can take to get closer to the solution. All you need is to stop over thinking about the problem and just do it! Take the step and with a little patience and time you will find yourself triumphant over the challenge.
Keep winning and share your thoughts.