Tuesday, 31 January 2017
Have you ever felt like you don't fit in at all or that you are so different from other people around you? Do you feel down because you are not like them? Are you troubled because you are unique and what interests you seems not to appeal to others?
I've got something to tell you: You are lucky to be different. Being different is a blessing and a precious gift. Most of the greatest innovations and ideas of mankind were brought forth by those who dared to be different. Being different means that you are destined for something greater than the average.
It's not a crime to have different ideas from what everyone else believes. It's not bad to be interested in different things than what majority of people seem to be interested in. You must not do the same things everyone else is doing or chase after what they pursue.
Your difference is your selling point. Your creativity and real self manifests through your differences. That's why recognising that you're different should be good news and shouldn't make you worry. Being different means you're in a position to see things differently, do things differently and possibly create something new that the world has never seen before.
Are you really curious about the stars? Are you passionate about the media whereas others around you talk football all the time? Do you love history and politics rather than biology loved by your friends? Do you want to become a musician when your friends would rather be business men? Are you passionate about joining the forces whereas your family wants you to be a doctor? Something must be different about you. Learn to pursue that thing without trying to conform to what everyone else wants for you.
Sometimes we feel it's a problem to be different because we fail to surround ourselves with people of like minds and similar interests. You may be in a community surrounded by natives who only care about agriculture while you are really interested in the ICT industry. How do you cope? You tend to feel down because few people share similar interests.
That doesn't mean you are wrong to have your own unique inclinations. With the internet, it is easier to connect with people of like minds and similar interests who can help you see the beauty of pursuing that thing that makes you different. Various groups and communities that share similar ideals are already existing online and more are springing up.
We are in a World of unlimited possibilities and incredible potentials. You should consider yourself lucky to be different from other people. All you need to do is accept your difference and shine through it. Perfect it and make a difference in this world with what makes you different. Don't get discouraged by what everyone around you is doing or what they love.
Appreciate your own self the way you are and genuinely love the fact that you are different. Being different doesn't mean you should not relate well with other people. You just respect their differences as well but most of all tremendously respect yours. Work with them if you can, but never let them make you feel down about being different or discourage you from shining through your uniqueness.
If you're different, you are lucky! Shine and make a difference through your difference!
Monday, 30 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 30, 2017
Have you ever felt rejected? Do you feel like your case is different or you're under a spell of being rejected by everything you've ever wanted? Then hang on, I got news for you.
You may have applied for a lot of jobs in various establishments, but none of them has offered you a job even after the countless tests and interviews. You may be looking for admission into a university, but you're rejected after every application.
You may sometimes feel rejected by someone you love. You try everything, but they don't just share the same feelings. There are many other events happenings in our lives that tend to make us feel rejected in a way or two.
The truth is that the feeling of rejection is a mental thing. We cannot be rejected in the real sense unless we reject our own selves on the inside. We are never really rejected unless we admit and believe that we are rejected.
The failed attempts at securing a job doesn't mean you're rejected. It doesn't mean that you don't just fit in or that something is wrong with you. It may be a call for you to become an entrepreneur. You could be the one to start up something big and the failures could be pointing you towards that.
It's definitely not rejection. Nothing is rejecting you. You only feel that way. So think differently and try to see things from a higher perspective.
Your unsuccessful attempts at securing an admission might be an opportunity for you to go acquire skills somewhere else or gain some important real life experiences. Don't feel like something is wrong with you because of that, learn something new, try out new things, discover what you're really passionate about and keep trying.
On love, no one really rejects you. Some people are not just compatible with you. And instead of feeling rejected because those people don't love you same way, simply be grateful that they didn't pretend about the way they feel about you. There are over 7,000,000,000 in the world. Not being loved by one person leaves you with about 6,999,999,999. So why go hide yourself in a cave, cry and feel terrible?
Lots of people are out there waiting and praying for someone like you in their lives. Why would you start feeling rejected or start thinking that something is wrong with you because of one person out of seven billion?
The feeling of rejection only exists in your mind. It is a mental thing. You feel that you are rejected and that's why you're rejected. You've come to accept rejection as a part of your being and it then appears as if everything rejects you.
Nothing rejects you. The possibilities in this world are endless. Opportunities are everywhere and you have to be thinking differently and out of the box to see them. So whatever is making you feel that your life is so terrible, you don't belong and you don't fit in; should be thrown out.
Know that you are unique, you are wanted and you are loved. Just open your eyes and you will see the beauty of everything even in the challenges you face. Don't lower your head in despair, keep your head up and take advantage of the opportunities all around you to brighten up your life.
Just keep shining and stay happy.
Share this article, someone close may need it.
Thursday, 26 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 26, 2017
We all need some motivation to keep us inspired towards a particular endeavor. Great speeches and written words have played a major role in providing this motivation to a large number of people. Nevertheless, there is an underlying problem.
After you listen to that great speech or read that great book, how long does that good feeling last? I guess a few hours, some days or probably a week. But then after that, the adrenaline that once rushed through your veins as a result of the motivation soon fades away.
For many people, that's it. They go back to their comfort zone and continue living their lives the same way they lived it. Some even forget about the words and simply keep on living the same way.
It appears to be only few people who try to make some adjustments in everything they do in their daily lives. Why is it so? If motivation was designed to successfully play its role in changing lives, it should inspire more people to make immediate changes in their lives, but this is not usually the case.
This is the problem and I feel that it was caused by too much focus of motivation on abilities. People keep hearing more about their ability to become successful than how they can become successful. I think many people already know that they can do it. What they need to know are step by step guidelines regarding how they can actually do it.
This is where the focus on motivation should be targeted at. People should be motivated on what they should do and not just told what they CAN do. Practical examples should be given to these people as regards how they can achieve anything. Experienced people in any field should be incorporated into the motivation of ordinary people.
The only question most people are bothered about is "How?" Motivation should be focused on answering this question rather than simply tell people what they can do. Enough of the words, it's time for some serious action. The world needs active people to play a great role in its development.
There is little time for ordinary empty words. The only motivating words people should be listening to are the ones that will spur them into action and show them how to take the action. The adrenaline should not just end after the speech, it should continue as the people go back with extensive knowledge of what exactly that should do.
With more people motivated to do the right thing and take the right actions, I believe that our world will become much better than it currently is and we will have solved the problem with motivation.
Therefore, you should not listen to people who only tell you that you can do it, no matter how admirable they sound. You waste your time. You should listen only to people who can tell you how to do it. People who are well experienced and who can show you the way.
Till next time!
Wednesday, 25 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 25, 2017
I stumbled upon this story on Facebook this morning and I felt it was a worthy story to put up on this blog. It is related to a previous post titled How To Deal With Angry People which was written earlier on this blog. It emphasizes on the importace of how we respond to certain things in order to create a desirable outcome.
One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others," he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake."
Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"
The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."
The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself."
"If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."
The young man listened closely to these wise words of the Buddha. "You are right, o Enlightened One, "he said. "Please teach me the path of love. I wish to become your follower." The Buddha answered kindly, "Of course. I teach anyone who truly wants to learn. Come with me."
This story is short but the meaning is deeper than lies on the surface. The Buddha could've easily gotten angry and reacted angrily at the young man. But that would have created more trouble. That would mean the young man had successfully infected his own mind with anger and taken away his inner peace. Buddha saw all that and his response even converted the young man.
It is important we exercise control over our response to different situations that we find ourselves. We must pause to think and decide on the best line of action before we react to anything. Reactions must not be impulsive or based on fleeting emotions, but rather based on sensible reason.
Keep winning like the Buddha.
Love is not a cage where you put someone else and you don't even allow them to breathe without you. Some people have this idea of love and it doesn't really help them in their relationships.
If you really love someone, you should respect their freedom and personal space. Yes, the love should be there, but when you try to overdo certain things, it will tend to be boring and the love soon begins to fade away gradually.
Some people want to be always around the person they claim to love 24/7. But it is not possible to do that given the many responsibilities that they have and time taken by other daily activities. So lovers must come to terms with the fact that they can never be around their loved ones every second.
This is good. And in fact, can you imagine how you would feel if someone is always around you every time and everywhere? You will soon find the whole thing boring and sometimes you need your own space or you want to spend some time alone.
If your idea of loving someone is such that they cannot be happy living their lives when you are not close to them, then you should rethink this 'love.' Wanting to always stay around someone you love can even stem out of mistrust.
You may feel that once you're not there the person may go to someone else or cheat on you. Hence, if you can even mount a camera everywhere they go or set up a drone to follow them, well that would be nice so you can 'confirm' what they are doing.
But that is not love. You are restraining that person's freedom which is definitely not good. You must learn to trust the one you love. If they will cheat on you, they will still cheat anyway without your notice. So what's the point trying to even cage them?
It is difficult to trust another when you've been heartbroken many times, but we can't really accomplish much in matters of love without having a level of trust. Make out time for the one you love, but don't become so obsessed with them that you can't even let them live their normal lives.
A good partner will remain a good partner whether you're watching or not. There is no need wasting your time trying to stop them from 'misbehaving' through your watch. You can't see them 24 hours everyday. So have some trust and sometimes give your loved one some space.
When you respect the freedom of others, they feel it and they will love you more for it. If they decide to cheat and you find out, then fine, good riddance! It is better you found out what they're capable of doing given some space than try to live with a chameleon.
In allowing your partner some freedom, you will find out if they really love you or not. What is the point trying to force love on someone who doesn't love you by trying to cage them? Nothing. Given any small chance, they will cheat. But when your partner stays true to you even when you respect their freedom, then the love is genuine.
Think about it. Share your views through the comments section.
Tuesday, 24 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 24, 2017
Some of you may have become conditioned to easily accept certain statistics which tend to make you easily give up on your pursuits. For example someone says, "90% of the people who tried it have failed." "The available slots are for very few people" or even crazy ones like "Very few people become successful no matter how hard working they are."
The thing is that more often than not, these statistics makes people get easily discouraged rather than stay motivated. You know why? For most people, it is easier to believe that they won't make it when they're told that their chances are too slim. They have come to believe so much in these probabilities that they already accept defeat.
For winners, the statistics don't count. If they're told that 90% failed, they still want to be among the successful 10%. If you tell a winner that available slots are few, it doesn't stop him from going for those slots. Would you try to sway him by telling him few people are successful even with their hard work? He will tell you that he doesn't mind and he will be among those few.
Winners understand that no matter how bad the probability, chance or possibly of winning may look, they CAN still win. So the stats don't bother their minds at all. What bothers them is to think, make plans and act towards their objectives.
Don't let someone else's words or stats keep you from trying out anything that you really think you should try out. You could be the one to break a record or improve the stats. You could be the one to set a record and be a hope unto those who seek motivation. It could just be you that could be the best when you disregard those stats and go ahead to try out what you want.
Don't let these stats keep you trapped in a wall of yourself. Try things out fearlessly and see results for yourself. What do you gain from listening to those discouraging stats? Nothing! It makes you just do nothing and become an average person. If you must excel, you must not let these statistics become a limitation to your advancement or motion. Keep thinking, planning and acting. Never stop for anything at all.
The prevailing statistics doesn't stop a winner from winning or trying to win. In fact, discouraging statistics should even motivate a bold winner.
Sunday, 22 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 22, 2017
There are some key things for aspiring leaders to pick from The Inaugural Address Of The United States President Donald Trump which was Delivered On Friday 20th January, 2017. His own words are in quotations and italicised.
"Together, we will determine the course of America and the world for many, many years to come. We will face challenges, we will confront hardships, but we will get the job done. he understands that there will always be challenges, but the important thing is getting the work done."
President Donald Trump understands that challenges must be faced in the course of any project, but the important thing is getting the work done despite anything else.
"Today's ceremony, however, has very special meaning because today, we are not merely transferring power from one administration to another or from one party to another, but we are transferring power from Washington, D.C. and giving it back to you, the people."
Here President Trump shows that he knows the important thing to sustain any government is the people, that's what true democracy and leadership is all about.
"What truly matters is not which party controls our government, but whether our government is controlled by the people."
Still talking about true democracy.
"At the center of this movement is a crucial conviction, that a nation exists to serve its citizens. Americans want great schools for their children, safe neighborhoods for their families, and good jobs for themselves. These are just and reasonable demands of righteous people and a righteous public."
He gets the point that for any organization to survive, it has to continue to serve the interest of it's people, citizens or customers.
"We are one nation and their pain is our pain. Their dreams are our dreams. And their success will be our success. We share one heart, one home, and one glorious destiny. The oath of office I take today is an oath of allegiance to all Americans."
President Trump values oneness. A group of people that act as ONE force and one entity cannot be easily defeated.
"But that is the past. And now, we are looking only to the future."
The president knows that whatever has happened in the past doesn't matter as much as what the future holds.
"We assembled here today are issuing a new decree to be heard in every city, in every foreign capital, and in every hall of power. From this day forward, a new vision will govern our land. From this day forward, it's going to be only America first, America first."
Every leader in any organization has to learn from this. You put your organization first in anything you're doing to boost team moral and make progress.
"We will seek friendship and goodwill with the nations of the world, but we do so with the understanding that it is the right of all nations to put their own interests first. We do not seek to impose our way of life on anyone, but rather to let it shine as an example. We will shine for everyone to follow."
The president values the self interest of his country and those of other nations. He also honors the principle of not seeking to impose one's way of life onto others.
"The bible tells us how good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity. We must speak our minds openly, debate our disagreements honestly, but always pursue solidarity. When America is united, America is totally unstoppable."
Trump gets the idea of unity! Unity and solidarity are both inevitable for the success of any group of people.
"There should be no fear. We are protected and we will always be protected. We will be protected by the great men and women of our military and law enforcement. And most importantly, we will be protected by God."
He encourages fearlessness.
"Finally, we must think big and dream even bigger. In America, we understand that a nation is only living as long as it is striving. We will no longer accept politicians who are all talk and no action, constantly complaining, but never doing anything about it. - Against all talk and no action. The time for empty talk is over. Now arrives the hour of action."
He appreciates continual striving and action taking. Words and complaints without action is useless.
These were some of the key parts of his speech on Friday. The new president clearly embodies the principles of a bold winner. I believe you've taken away a thing or two from it. Feel free to add your thoughts and insights.
Until next time.
Thursday, 19 January 2017
Guess what? The world doesn't want to know if you lost your mom or your dad at a young age. It doesn't care whether you were born in a poor or a rich background. It doesn't even want to know about the current problems and challenges which you presently face.
The world doesn't care about the country you were born in, your skin color or how your government is treating you. No one out there is interested in whether you had a bad childhood experience or not.
Whatever way you currently feel, whether sad, depressed, happy or anxious, the world doesn't care about it. Everyone you see around you has their own problems to deal with. You don't expect them to leave their own problems and start feeling sorry for you.
The world is not bothered about your complains or how many times you've tried and failed. Whatever plans or ideas you may have in your head, no one wants to know.
You know what the world really cares to know about you? It's your success story! The world wants to hear that despite the challenges that you faced and the difficult circumstances you found yourself, you still triumphed over them and made an impact!
The world only cares when you've made your mark on earth and distinguished yourself from the average person. Your results, accomplishments, inventions, creations, impact, medals,victories and your arts are all what the world wants to see.
You should stop sitting around looking for who to listen to your woes or complaints, but rather focus on making a meaningful contribution to this world and become a successful person.
No need to lament about your background, childhood, people around you, or any other thing because these are only excuses and no one cares to hear them. Rather, focus on developing and building yourself so that you can make a meaningful impact in this world.
Your contribution and what you can do is what the world cares about. Every other thing is like thrash to them. So stay focused and try to be a successful individual who made a meaningful impact because it's only when you've made it that the world cares!
Keep being a winner!
Tuesday, 17 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 17, 2017
Dedicating this article to everyone out there who still finds a way to stay happy despite the challenging situations they find themselves.
No matter what you are going through in your life right now, there is always a reason to be happy and be grateful. Oftentimes, we tend forget this reason and focus only on what is going wrong in our lives.
This attitude doesn't help us. When you focus on only the wrong things, you tend to attract more of it. Your thinking puts you in an unhappy mood and when you are unhappy, you'd find out that every other thing will seem to annoy you.
Yes, sometimes we may feel overwhelmed by the challenges that come our way, but in those depressing times, let us always remember that one reason to always be happy and grateful.
Be grateful for your good health even if you don't have enough money right now. Be grateful that you are alive and still breathing even though problems seem to overwhelm you. Be grateful that you have people that care about you even though you feel you've not found your soul mate.
Gratefulness is an art we all must learn to master. We are too carried away with our challenges and problems that we forget this important and vital aspect of our lives. Gratefulness for what we got is vital for both physical and metal well being.
When we are grateful, we keep remembering why we should be happy and keep on staying happy no matter what we are facing. This is what keeps us active and motivated in anything we do. We become passionate because we are happy.
Take a look at someone who is unhappy and depressed. What is good about their disposition? The sadness keeps them in one place, doing nothing, getting angrier and wasting time. The importance of gratefulness cannot be overemphasized. It is self evident.
One reason to be grateful is always there. But the deal is learning to always remember it when things may not be going so well. Remembering it will help us tremendously than forgetting that reason.
Make it a point of duty to be grateful everyday. Just think of that reason to be grateful and be genuinely grateful for it. If you practice this culture, you will definitely be surprised at the way things will start working out just fine. The more grateful you are; the happier you become, the happier you become; the more active you are and the more active you are; the more results you get!
Be grateful and keep winning!
Monday, 16 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 16, 2017
It's easy to see the faults of other people but not our own. It's easy to point fingers at someone else and point out everything that is bad about them, but we forget to also look deeply into our own selves. The blame is so easy to place on another person than ourselves.
But if we are to be perfectly honest to ourselves, we are not perfect human beings either. We have our own strengths and weaknesses. We have these same temptations that everyone else has and we are not so different after all. The only thing is that some of us have learnt to master these feelings, while others have not.
But the essence in all of us remains the same. Rather than being quick to judge other people, let us remember that we also have these tendencies and seek to help other people manage their own weaknesses. This is where emotional intelligence comes into play. You don't judge, you help others overcome their weaknesses because you understand that they too are not perfect!
People who are often quick to judge others do not have any love in their hearts. They live in an illusion where they expect everyone to be perfect while forgetting and ignoring their own imperfections. It is a deceptive way of living.
Understand your weaknesses, look at your temptations, think of how you've overcome them and then whenever you see other people do what you feel is wrong, try to look at why they may have been unable to do the right thing and correct them with love.
Calling other people names and tagging them as 'evil' or 'wicked' people does not help any of them. In fact, it creates more problems between you and the person you judge. Therefore, the best way to help struggling people is to first look in the mirror and try to understand what these people are going through, then suggest better ways of doing things to them.
Come to terms with the fact that in this life, everyone's is actually on their journey. And our goal is to gain experiences, learn and become better individuals. No one is beyond improvement. We keep improving till we all die. Therefore, condemning people just because of their faults is irrational. The best we can do is help them to overcome it make progress in their journey as well.
If we can come to terms with our real nature, our temptations, our own faults and our weaknesses, we will understand that we are not so different from each other. We will understand other people more when we've understood ourselves and that will help us to genuinely love them. We will be more inclined to love them rather than condemn them.
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 16, 2017
How educated are you? When I ask this question, I don't mean you should tell me the number of certificates you have or the number of schools you've attended. I am asking you to enlighten me on how well you've have come to know certain things and mastered their applications.
In our world today, many people have been through the four walls of a university or school, but very few are really educated. Most of them just have the ability to memorize stuff and pass exams, but they really don't know how to apply what they learn.
It brings me to ask another question: What is the point of knowing something if you cannot apply it? How well does your knowledge show in the way you think, act and relate with people around you?
Most of the people who claim to be educated don't even know how to solve real life problems or carry out certain activities. All they have is the certificate. They can't build things, they can't fit into a new environment, they don't know how to date someone, they can't even hold a meaningful conversation. What's the point of the education?
Our education has to go beyond the four walls of a classroom. We must learn through study as well as through engaging real life experiences. Convention education simply focuses on learning via study ignoring the more important learning via practice.
We must be ready to try things on our own rather than simply depend on existing knowledge. We must face life and pass through it because there are a lot of things to still learn which are not best taught by the book.
Practice things, carry out experiments, do something you've not done before. Get outside your books and try to meet someone new. Go on dates and vacations, try to host a party. Learn and learn as much as you can practically for it balances whatever you think you've known from books.
Therefore, educate yourself in full by gaining experience and trying out things on your own. Practice and apply what you've read as well for this way, you will be an educated person beyond the certificate. Experience is actually the best teacher.
Sunday, 15 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 15, 2017
You should never beg for anything. Whenever you beg for anything, you simply say that you don't deserve it and you're depending on someone's mercy to give it to you.
Begging is a loser's mentality. A loser is too dependent on other people's choices to get what he/she wants and that's why they usually don't have what they want. This is because the person or persons whom they beg can choose to waste time before giving to them or even not give them at all.
Beggars have no choice. And guess what? Choice is the best gift that man has to direct his life to what he wants. So when you beg, you throw away your power of choice. And when you throw it away, you have automatically lost because you are no more in control of anything.
This is why winners never beg. Winners deserve whatever they get because they were willing to go get it themselves. They refused to wait on anybody or anything and took their destinies into their hands. They honoured their power of choice and that is why they will always live in joy and happiness.
Whatever it is that you want in life, never make the mistake of begging for it. Do what you need to do and whatever you deserve will come to you in surprising ways. Most people have not yet understood that the reason they are not getting their desires is that they still beg for it.
Begging doesn't solve the problem. Yes, when you beg you may be given but consider also that you may not be given. The possibility of you reducing yourself to begging and not being given should scare you enough to decide never to beg.
Learn to deserve what you want. You deserve things by working hard and smart for them. Is it money? Stop begging anybody, go out there and do what you can to earn a living. Is it love? Love is everywhere around you. There are millions of people ready to love you beyond your imagination.. Stop begging one person who doesn't give a damn about you and allow yourself to go out and be loved by others.
I don't think we should spend any time begging. If ever you have to beg, let it be your last and only option, because begging is actually disgraceful to any human being with healthy self esteem.
Until next time!
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 15, 2017
As written by Tobechi Larry..
Congratulations! You graduated as a lawyer and you're heading your dad's firm. You win your first case defending a client who you know is guilty of all allegations and your conscience keeps disturbing you while your parents are busy singing your praise.
Deep down you are not happy. You would have been happier if you had become a musician. You once told your dad about that and he discouraged you. Now you are condemned to work in a field you have no passion for in order to make daddy happy.
Does this sound in anyway sound like you? Are you in conflict with your self for trying to do something that your parents want rather than what you want? Are you living your life or your parent's life? You should stop blaming your parents. They did what they taught was in the best interest for you.
They believed just making money brings self fulfilment without any regard to your heart's desire. You are no more a kid now. Your life is in your hands. Take time to examine your life. Plato said 'an unexamined life is not worth living.'
Where would you like to be in five years time? Grab a piece of paper, write down activities that make you happy. Place the list somewhere you would see it every morning. Create a plan towards that direction. If you are musically inclined, your list would include playing an instrument, singing, writing, listening to songs and poems. What choices would you make now to take you closer to it?
Act now. Every year learn something new that can help you reach your goal. If you are passionate about music for example, take a weekend off to learn piano. Pay a private tutor to teach you. Buy one instrument for private practice. Combining your job with these activities could be stressful. it could cost you less rest or even more time off work.
It may cost you your promotion, a query or salary reduction. it shouldn't discourage you because these are prices to pay for following your heart. After 4 few years of practice, you can gradually show the world your skill. Volunteer to play during occasions for free. You would meet people who are in your chosen niche. Connect with them.
Remember now is the best time to start. You can never be successful in a field you don't really love. Start today to create the life you want to live tomorrow. If you don't act now,you will be full of regrets on your death bed.
PS: This was a guest post written by Tobechi Larry. He uses someone who has a passion for music to make his examples. Your passion could be anything else, simply make a plan and work towards it. Your happiness really matters more than money. In fact, real money comes as a result of happiness. - Nigel
Saturday, 14 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 14, 2017
What do you want in your life right now? Is it money, a life partner, happiness, fame, cars, houses or anything else? Whatever it is that you want, understand that it is always out there. It is outside somewhere waiting for you.
What you simply need to do is go get it. And it's not very difficult to get it. All you need is the right thought and the right actions and you will definitely have it. You think, make plans and set into action.
It is all out there for you. Simply acknowledge that it is there and go for it. But when you don't even believe that it is out there, how will you even find it? If you believe there is not enough, you will not be motivated to make plans and act on them.
The wealth you seek to acquire is in other people's pockets. All you need to do is create a value and make them take out that money and give to you. That person who you seek, who will love you unconditionally and genuinely understand you is out there. All you need do is keep developing yourself and keep meeting different people.
Sometimes, when we face disappointments, setbacks or challenges, we tend to recoil and believe that we cannot get what we really want. This is a lie and this lie makes us stop thinking and planning. You must be able to convince yourself that no matter how many times you don't succeed in getting anything, it is still available and you can still get it.
Whatever you want has been designed not to come so easily. You have to put in some effort to get it. Giving up at your first few attempts to make some money doesn't help you. It means you've accepted to be poor. Likewise, making a decision to stop being in relationships or stop meeting people because someone broke your heart or hurt you greatly limits your chances of finding the right person.
Our experiences and challenges should never stop us from knowing that everything we seek is out there waiting for us. We must always keep our heads up and keep searching. Certainly, we will find it because it is always there.
At all times we must be aspiring and working towards something. We must work on ourselves and endeavor to keep developing and improving ourselves. Never should we fall into that zone of aimlessness and lack of direction. That state of "anything goes."
As humans, we must keep making efforts towards what we want for that is our only guarantee of eventually having it. And these efforts must be made with that firm belief that what we seek is out there and we can get it!
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 14, 2017
Are you currently unemployed or jobless? Are you just waiting for a company or firm to employ you so you can start earning something? Well, here's news for you: Go out there and start doing any little thing you can do.
Things have changed. There are many graduates today continuously turned out from various universities who graduate with the hope of getting a job and have met with little success.
Many people are having the mindset of getting jobs forgetting that there is no more equilibrium between job creators and job seekers. More people are seeking available jobs than the people who are creating these jobs.
If you have the mindset of getting a job, ask yourself how the jobs you're looking for were created. They were created by people like you who chose to think out of the box and start up something big.
We need more thinkers. People who are ready to tackle and provide solutions to existing problems around the globe. There are many problems to be solved in this world and that means that there are many opportunities to solve them through start ups.
Stop waiting idly for a white collar job. Think.. Take out time to think! There must be something you can do, no matter how little. There must be a problem you can solve. You have a talent which you need to use and create something in this world.
Don't complain about capital. If you can think and proffer solutions to any existing human problem, the fund you need will definitely find you. You must not wait for loans. You can do little jobs and save up money to start up your idea.
Don't ever feel helpless, trapped or sorry for yourself. You need to always be thinking and taking action based on the results of your thought. I think the reason why unemployment is a big problem is that most people have become too lazy to think.
They want it easy. They want the job to be offered to them on a platter of gold, so that they can sit in an office from 9-5 and do little, while expecting a steady salary at the end of every month.
Time is important as I said in a previous post. Even if you intend to still find a job, use your waiting time to engage in something that can fetch you some money. You don't need to wait for job offers in an idle state.
Wake up every morning and ask yourself what you can do or what you can offer to the world today. Stop hoping for jobs. Start doing something. Whatever it is. As long as it has the capacity to solve a problem, it is a good start. Just do something and stop sitting around doing nothing.
You're only jobless because you want to be jobless. There is always something you can do. Humble yourself, think and act. You will surely make headway. Stay active and never call yourself jobless. Put this into practice and keep winning!
Friday, 13 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 13, 2017
1. Learn to do more than the rest.
You must be willing to do much more than necessary or what others consider normal. Winners don't just stop at where other people stop, they go the extra mile which is why they get extraordinary results. Many people are lazy and don't want to put in work. That's why few people are at the top. These few are the winners ready to do more than expected.
2. Be persistent, but not to a fault.
A winner knows how to be persistent. He keeps pushing for whatever he wants without easily giving up. There are times of course when he quits. But he only quits when he knows he has tried his possible best. Else, he keeps on pushing for his goals. This obsession is what keeps him winning.
3.Place important value on your time.
To develop a winner's mindset, you must learn to appreciate the value of your time. Time is money! Time really matters. You must conscious of time as a resource that should never be wasted. This will keep you focused on what really matters rather than wasting your time on frivolous activities.
4. Understand that nobody owes you anything.
You can't have the mindset of a winner when you always expect people to do things for you or depend on them. You must understand that nobody owes you anything and that if you really want to achieve anything, you have to get it yourself through the actions and decisions you make.
5. Don't care too much about what they say or think.
You must learn to stop worrying about what other people would think or say and do what you strongly feel is the right thing. Worrying comes as a result of fear and fear cannot allow you develop a winner's mindset. You should consider other people's opinion, but make up your mind and take the best decisions without letting their opinions stop you.
6. You should keep updating your knowledge.
If you're not willing to keep learning, you cannot have a winner's mindset. A winner understands that knowledge is infinite and if he must stay ahead of the game, he must continue to gain knowledge and experience. He never assumes to know it all or have all the answers. He's always a student of life.
7. Learn how to move on.
You can't have the mindset of a winner when you cannot let go of the past or any other thing. You can't progress when you're stuck with things that have already happened. Winners keep moving on no matter what they encounter. They never stop and they refuse to be stuck. Learn to let go of things that are keeping you behind.
8. Follow your gut!
Yes, this is the most neglected way of developing this mindset. Most of us keep accepting the opinions of other people and neglect what we really feel inside. How many times have you been in the situation where you say "I knew it" "I should have listened to my heart" or stuff like that? Your heart usually knows the correct answer!
9. Take good care of your body.
It is no longer news that the state of the body can affect the state of mind. You should take good care of your body by engaging in exercise and eating healthy food. Good health is an asset and it keeps you in a good mental state which allows you think clearly and come up with brilliant ideas.
10. Discipline yourself.
Developing a winner's mindset requires serious discipline. You must know when to say No to certain things and when to say Yes to them. You must discipline yourself to set goals and keep to deadlines. You must have a plan and train yourself to be consistent in your efforts to be a better person and make a contribution to the world.
There you have it! You can add yours.
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 13, 2017
I was opening an account in a bank yesterday just before the closing hours, when I overheard the bank manager expressing his annoyance at how some of the customer care personnel treated a woman who just came to carry out some important transactions.
The woman had reported to him that the bank staff who were meant to attend to her did not even show any courtesy or smile when she was trying to get them to attend to her.
It happened that this woman was also the regional manager of the group of banks, but the members of the staff did not know! When the bank manager finished expressing his dismay at the attitude, some members of the staff tried to make the excuse that they did not know she was the one!
At this point, a thought came to my mind, "Is it necessary to know if the woman was the regional manager or not?" "Why don't you treat all customers fairly, so you won't bother about such surprise visits?"
The thing is that most people seem to show respect and courtesy to whom they feel is important. Other people who they don't know too well or who may seem insignificant do not bother them.
Probably, people tend to do this because they feel they can only gain from the people who are already successful but not from 'ordinary' ones, forgetting that no one knows tomorrow.
A person you disrespect today because you think he/she is not important may turn out to be someone prominent tomorrow. How would you face that person if you should meet them in future?
That person you think has no money may own billions later and be in charge of things you never imagined. Why would you treat them unfairly now?
Let us come to terms with the fact that the world is constantly changing and no one knows tomorrow! We must learn to treat everyone fairly, rich or poor, Christian or Muslim, white or black, citizen or foreigner, young or old.
The bank manager finally let them know that such a reason wasn't an excuse and as staff, they had to treat everyone that comes into the bank with respect and courtesy or else disciplinary measures will be taken to punish defaulters.
People don't need to be told to respect everyone they see. They don't need to be reminded of disciplinary measures if they don't. They need to make this attitude a part of their everyday lives.
It's not just in the bank. You should have this attitude everywhere you find yourself. Whether at the market, club, sports center, locality, street or anywhere else. Treat people fairly.
Treating people fairly doesn't mean you become a doormat for them to abuse you. Treating people fairly simply means you always respect them and show them good manners and etiquette.
Think about this and make a decision to change your attitude towards other people. Keep winning!
Thursday, 12 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 12, 2017
The world has really changed over the years. If you have been following the trend, you should have noticed that it is intelligence that rules our world today. The pen has indeed become far mightier than the sword.
Gone are the days of surviving through the use of brute force or just physical strength. Gone are the days when wars were only fought with just weapons. You hear more of cyber warfare, use of robots, war drones and surveillance machines these days.
The whole world is coming to terms with the power of the mind. The power of deep thought and strategic thinking over mere physical strength. People who have understood this trend are putting more effort to developing the capacity of their minds in order to stay ahead in this era of intelligence.
How is this important to you? Well, you must understand that if you're not developing the capacity of your mind to stay sharp, intelligent and smart, you may become overwhelmed by the change that is silently sweeping across the globe.
To keep up with this change you have to devote quality time to strengthen your mind and your way of thinking. You do that by reading good books, using the internet to check out good websites and blogs where you can get useful information.
You spend your time keeping your mind sharp by learning. Continue to learn about new things that are emerging and keep updating your knowledge. If you don't, the world will take you by surprise and you will find yourself unable to cope.
The internet has made developing your mind much easier. And you should be grateful you were born in this era where so much information is easily accessible online. But the big question is: are you using the internet to learn new things, develop your mindset and help you in decision making OR are you spending it on unimportant things?
Internet should be helping you stay updated on important things. There are many great courses offered online for FREE! You can learn just about anything over the net! Are you taking advantage of this to develop your mind?
The mind becomes smarter and enhanced when it is informed and when it keeps learning new things. There is a popular saying back in school days that goes: "If you're not informed, you're deformed." Use the internet to stay informed and keep sharpening your mind.
Make friends with smarter people. People who you love their ideologies and sharp reasoning. Roll with them and stop sticking around people who never think of meaningful things. You will be better off with smart people than people who don't think!
In whatever you do, don't ever fall into the trap when you think you've known it all. With the rate at which our world is changing, there is a need to always keep our minds open to new and useful information.
Intelligence is what rules the world right now. It's now survival of the smartest and not the fittest! Keep fit and also stay smart!
Till next time!
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 12, 2017
A friend once told me that he regretted studying the course he studied in the university. He wished he had spent his time studying something better or more lucrative. "What do you gain by regretting about it?" I asked. He couldn't really answer the question.
Just like my friend, I've seen and have continued to see a lot of people spending so much time on regrets. You hear things like "I wish I had known this earlier" "I wish I hadn't made that choice." "I wish I waited a little longer" and other stuff like that.
Truly, we should feel some sadness in making some wrong choices or not knowing certain things, but rather than waste time regretting and lamenting over them, we should simply learn the lesson and move on quickly.
There is always a lesson to learn from any experience and it is very important we learn this lesson to avoid repeating the same mistake! But most people don't even see the lesson they are meant to learn because they spend so much time wishing they could undo what can never be undone.
The end result is that they fall for the same mistake over and over again because they don't pay attention to the lesson. Rather they spend time on regrets.
We all must understand that the past is past! The past should only remain where it belongs which is PAST! Spending your present useful hours regretting over the past is wasting the present time you should use in making better choices!
The only time we ever have is NOW. The clock keeps ticking and the present is always available to you to make better and well informed choices in your life. Why waste it?
The sadness we feel over our wrong choices should be a motivation for us to learn our lessons and make better choices rather than being a time killer which keeps dragging us back to the past.
Nothing should drag you behind and keep you from moving forward. Life is all about staying in motion and moving on. What would you gain by spending so much time regretting the past? The answer is NOTHING! You lose instead. You lose the lesson, your focus and the present moment.
The only thing you should keep in mind is the lesson from the past and not the past! The lesson is the only valuable thing we can take away from the past. Other things only waste our time.
Keep moving on, let the past go, apply the lessons in the present and you can take control of your future!
Share this post if it has touched you positively. Keep winning!
Wednesday, 11 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 11, 2017
I came across this story online which really made me think deeply about how we respond to failure and what it takes to be successful. Here it goes:
One night, a spider found a tree to spin its web on. It had worked all day to spin a big, strong web and decided to get some sleep. The next morning when it woke up, it saw that the web had been torn to pieces. The wind had blown so strongly at night.
The spider had nothing to eat as nothing was caught by the web. When the wind swept across, the spider asked “Wind, why did you blow down my web?” The wind responded with two words, “You’ll see,” then left.
The spider set back to work. It worked all day, making sure its new web was twice as big and twice as strong. And went to sleep. But when it woke up the next night, the web was in pieces. The wind had blown it away again. When the wind swept across, the spider asked the same previous question and got the same reply from the wind.
The spider once again got back to work – and it was not happy at all. But it made the web even bigger and even stronger, stretching it across many branches in the tree. The spider was confident that it had spun the best web it could.
The following day, it had happened again! The precious web that it spent hours spinning was gone. When the wind came by, the spider angrily shouted, “Wind, I had spun the biggest and strongest web I could! I spent hours working on it, and still you blew it down. Why?” The wind responded with two words, “You’ll see,” then went on.
With frustration, the spider decided to spin the web again. It worked harder than ever before. It even worked late into the night. At around midnight, the web was done and the spider was even surprised at the magnificence of the web it just built.
It slept, exhausted with doing a kind of work it had never done before and woke up late the next morning. It became overjoyed. The web was still intact this time. Strong and solid.
Later that night, the wind came by again. The spider said “Wind, thank you for not blowing down my web.” The wind replied, “I could have blown it down if I could, but you see, you have built this strong web which can resist me because you were willing to keep trying!"
This simple story really says a lot.
You don't say you have failed when you don't succeed while working on something. You don't say you've failed when you encountered a challenge that seemed to throw you off balance.
Successful people have encountered failures many more times than they have met with success. What kept them pushing for their goals even in the face of the many failures? It was the willingness to keep trying!
It means that we cannot call ourselves failures based on the stumbling blocks we face on our roads to success. The only time when you can say you have truly failed is when you quit trying. When you give up working on your endeavors, plans or dreams.
The moment you make the decision to stop trying anymore is the moment you have truly failed. There is no challenge that can stop anyone who is really persistent and determined.
Persistence overcomes anything.
If you really want to succeed in anything, then you must not stop pushing for it. The moment you stop, it stops. Your determination is what keeps you moving closer to your dreams every time.
Always see the obstacles on your path as indicators of how close you are to your success. Don't let them discourage you from trying!
I'll end with this quote: "Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." – Calvin Coolidge
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 11, 2017
Do you feel like you lack anything? Love, attention, money, friends, happiness or anything at all? Does it seem that other people have these things easy while you don't seem to attract them?
Then you need to think again about your life and consider the art of giving to others. It might just be what is keeping you from getting those things. You know the saying that what goes around comes around? It's one of the most honest axioms.
What you give has a way of coming back around. I don't know what you will call it or the explanation you may give to it, but I've understood that the actions you take has an effect on your life and the universe.
People who give never lack. Whenever you give something, you're saying that you're not afraid of losing it and you will always have it sufficiently. Giving out something simply acknowledges that you already HAVE it. Because you cannot give what you don't have.
Therefore if you think you lack anything, try and give it out. When you give it, you subconsciously change your belief in "LACKING" to a Faith that you actually HAVE that thing and can give it out.
It is this faith that pushes you to actually have what you think you lack. You should try to activate this faith by giving out something. Stop complaining that you don't have anything because the more you keep thinking or saying that you don't have anything, the less likely you are to have it.
Whatever you believe seriously affects and determines what you experience. So whatever you lack may be as a result of a limiting belief you have about it. It is usually a mental issue. You change that belief by trying to give out that same thing to other people.
Do you lack friends? Go and there and be a friend to someone. Do you lack so much money? Help someone out there with the little amount that you can. Do you feel unloved and uncared for? Try genuinely loving and caring for other people.
Anything you feel like you're lacking, try and help someone else get that thing. You may be surprised at how easily your situation would change. Lack of anything is usually dependent on your beliefs about that thing.
Change it by giving. Because givers are always saying that they are not afraid of lack through the process of giving.
You can share your thoughts on this too.
Tuesday, 10 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 10, 2017
Have you ever been caught in that wide web of self consciousness? Where you go on worrying about your life, why it seems things are not going well with you, why you don't look like someone else or in their shoes and other possible questions.
How do you really feel when thinking about these things? The answer is obvious.. You don't feel happy. Anytime you're worried about just yourself and your own problems, you're unhappy.
Compare this with how you feel when you are thinking about how to help solve a problem. Or when you are absorbed in the things that are happening around you. Do you still feel unhappy?
For example, let's say you're working with a team to tackle health challenges in a part of the world. You'd get to feel so alive and have a good feeling that you're contributing to a better world.
Or let's say you're listening to a comedian, you will laugh, forget your own self and have a good time. You won't ever feel bad because you're actively engaged in something. Whatever it is.
Self consciousness keeps us from that engagement and makes us just worry about our individual lives. Everyone you see has their own individual problems, worrying about it doesn't help help either you or them! It is engagement that keeps you living healthy and happy.
Some people are worried about how they look. Their mind tells them that they're not so attractive or ugly and this makes them feel bad and keep away from living fully.
Others worry about why it seems they have all the problems in the world while some others keep asking why they had to be born in certain backgrounds or parts of the world.
Do these questions that make us self conscious and unhappy really matter more than staying happy through engagements? This is a question we should all ask ourselves. And I think our happiness should be top priority.
Why become too self conscious of things that you cannot change? If you don't appreciate the way you look, why should you keep thinking about it? Can you change it? And who ever told you that we are not all unique and perfect the way we are?
If you've been born in a place or country which you don't like, why should you worry about why you were born there? You're already there, so the best you can do is engage yourself with something meaningful and see if you can change environment in future.
Instead of being self conscious, let us rather get busy with things that will keep us in a healthy state of mind. What would you like to offer to the world that would make you feel great? What would you like to do to have a good time?
How can you change someone's life today? What can you do to make a contribution? How can I solve some of the problems faced around the world? These are questions that can help us find meaningful things to engage our minds in.
You're 1 person out of over 7 billion people on the planet. If you're just too self conscious about yourself and your problems, you won't be able to occupy yourself with what really matters.
The way you look, where you were born, what people will think of you, your personal difficulties and the rest of them don't matter as much as your personal happiness and making a meaningful contribution.
Get out from that self absorbed habit and become more aware of the biggest and most important issues. Don't dwell on yourself. Think Big! Engage!
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 10, 2017
For many years, man has been asking questions and will continue to ask questions. Questions will never end in this world because man's natural instinct and desire to know never runs out.
But some people have become so accustomed to asking questions that they live and spend the rest of their lives asking same questions. The truth is that some questions cannot be answered conclusively. We just have to pick an answer that suits us and move on.
You see people keep asking questions like "Does God exist?" "What is my life's purpose?" "What is the best career for me?" "What can I do?" and lots of other questions like that. Deep down within you, you know the answers to these questions.
You know exactly what you want in life! How can you even say you don't know and ask someone else? That person is not you. That person is not in the same body as you, does not have the same consciousness and has not passed through same experiences as you.
So why should you bother about asking someone else what your life purpose is or what you should be doing with your life? You know these answers. Think about it, whenever you ask these questions, don't you disagree with some answers you get and then nod your head at others?
What does it tell you? You know the answers already. The only time we should ask questions is when we honestly don't know about something that CAN be verified scientifically. Questions about your life's purpose, religion, what you should do and purpose of existence can only be answered perfectly by you!
Let us stop wasting time arguing and debating answers to questions that can never be conclusively verified. In these sort of questions there are always different answers from different people. You simply choose an answer that you strongly feel is best for you and move on. Don't keep on asking!
It's high time we only ask questions that can help us contribute to making our lives better and making the world a better place. Questions that will help us to take positive actions rather than questions which the answers do not add anything to us.
So enough of the questions. Listen to your heart and take actions with a clean conscience. Make sure you are being perfectly honest with yourself, the answers are all there.
If you've been guilty of asking other people these questions about your life's purpose, what to do and when to do it. Better start limiting the way you ask them or else you'll end up doing nothing here.
Pick your answers, keep on living your life and do what you really love. So, all you need to do is get out there, do what you know you should be doing and stay happy always!
Monday, 9 January 2017
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 09, 2017
A friend of mine was telling about different things he had in mind and wanted to start. I asked him why he had not started them already and he couldn't give me any reason which I could consider solid. I had to advise him to start up these things in any little way he can and stop waiting to be ready. There is no time that is perfect or when anybody can be 100% ready.
The case of my friend may be the same case for you. You may have many ideas in your head of what you're meant to do, dreams, ideas, business plans, visions, plans and anything else. It feels good to talk about them and it is easier to think of these things and expect them to work out exactly the way think it would.
But the truth is that it is only when you get to action and start working on those ideas that you get to encounter challenges and experience things you never expected with these ideas. You may even fail and get to learn about something which you overlooked. It may not work out exactly as you planned. It may even take longer than expected.
There is no way for you to find out these things if your idea is just an idea and you've not tried it. This is why you have to start working on any ideas you have right now. Experience will teach you and enable you learn many new things.
It is better you encounter these challenges early and get the experience on time than delay it. If you don't start, you delay the experience you should have and if you delay these necessary experiences, you extend the time needed for you to succeed. You get the drill?
The longer you wait, the longer the time for you to succeed because success comes from application of correct principles that are gained through knowledge and experience.
What do you have in mind? Start a business? Ask a girl out? Learn how to swim? Study a course? Learn to drive? Learn to cook? Write a book? Invest in a business? Whatever positive that can improve your life and has the capacity to make an impact in the world, start it right away. Just start it!
You don't need to know everything about anything to start it. Don't worry about not having enough skills or experiences. Just start it and do what you can. The experiences you will gain after you start will teach you every other thing you need to know.
Our problem is that we focus too much on perfecting the idea, getting all possible information and waiting for the best time to start something that we actually miss the most important thing which is starting it!
Start in whatever little way you can. If you need money, you can start little by doing the small jobs you can do hoping to save up enough to start whatever you have in mind. There is always something you can do that will be a step towards starting your idea. Get out there and simply do it!
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 09, 2017
Today, I was woken up by a loud banging on my door. And a familiar voice calling out my name. I went to open the door and I met with an angry neighbor. She got upset over a very little issue which we had agreed to resolve in a few days.
But I was surprised at the manner in which she was speaking about the same matter. I should have gotten angry too, shouted back at her and even get pissed off. But instead, I was quiet, looked at her in the eye and asked in a calm voice , "What is the matter? Why are you acting this way?"
This seemed to noticeably calm her down a bit and she continued talking about this and that. I was quiet the whole time and when she was done, I reminded her that I thought we had already sorted things out and I wanted to know why she was so angry all of a sudden. She continued saying some things at which I kept quiet and did not reply.
After that she left and went back to her room. I didn't take any of her words seriously, so I continued with my day as normal. And then after some time, I decided to see her. I knocked on her door, smiled and asked to speak with her.
She was calm this time and I let her understand that I wasn't really happy with the way she reacted this morning and explained things to her over again while reassuring her that things were already in place. To my surprise, she apologized for her reaction and said there was no problem.
This experience really taught me a lot. What if I had also reacted at her in the same way when she was angry? What if I let her anger affect me and make me also act irrationally?
I realized something. Anger feeds anger. If you react to an angry person with anger, it simply fuels the other person's anger and the cycle is continued.
The best way to deal with angry persons is not to take their anger seriously and give them some space. Then once their anger has subsided, you can go and talk with them in a reasonable way. This strategy really crushes their spirits and makes them very calm. Angry people are not as tough as they may often appear.
I realized that an angry person really wants you to get angry like them. If you don't allow yourself get angry like them, you win the battle because you are not falling into their trap.
Learn to ignore angry people and meet them with a calm nature. Give them some time to let their anger pass away, then meet them. You'll be surprised to find that the angry person will be willing to listen to you when you refuse to get angry at them too.
There is no gain in getting angry at anyone or anything. You should show that you're not happy with something occasionally, but don't get angry at a person who is also angry. You may do something stupid or say unreasonable things that you may regret. It takes strength to stay calm with an angry person and calmness triumphs over the storm!
Keep winning over angry people!
Sunday, 8 January 2017
Yeah, you read the title right! Most of us are so carried away by the feeling of loving someone that we ignore the things we don't like about them. They do things that we don't really like and we overlook it because we claim to love them.
This is bad, not just for ourselves or our feelings, but also bad for the other person because we are actually spoiling them and not letting them grow. If you genuine love someone, you would want the very best for them and not just love them blindly.
Some parents claim to love their kids and they don't ever scold them or punish them when they do something wrong all in the name of love. These kids finally grow up to be a problem to them. They become stubborn, extravagant and spoilt.
I think that loving these kids should be about bringing out the best in them and this includes punishing them when necessary so that they learn right values and principles.
In our relationships too, we tend to ignore aspects of our partners that we don't like, because of love. Indeed, everyone has their own weaknesses, but that doesn't mean you should ignore those of your partner.
You shouldn't judge him/her because of those weaknesses, but you should let them be aware of it and try to help them out of it. Same way they should help you come out of yours.
The whole idea of ignoring the faults of those we love does us no good in the long run. It allows these people misbehave and become very inconsiderate. Therefore, loving someone shouldn't be blind.
Make sure you recognize those weaknesses, signs and deviations and do what you can do to help them overcome these weaknesses. Or else, the weaknesses you ignored will come back to haunt the love you thought you had for them.
Love people, but don't ignore their weaknesses. It doesn't mean you should judge or avoid them when you discover their weaknesses, rather be open minded and do what you need to do to help them come out it and become better persons. That is true love which brings out the best in people.
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 08, 2017
You've probably heard people say things like "I don't care what anybody thinks." "I don't give a damn" "I don't care anymore" and other words like that. The "I don't care" attitude is becoming quite popular and of course it comes with a good feeling.
This attitude can actually be helpful if it motivates you to keep trying where other people have failed or it helps you become a better and a much happier person. But sometimes, this attitude can arise out of pure stubbornness and laziness.
Many relationships among people have failed because of this. Some people don't care at all about another person but just themselves and their needs forgetting that their needs are dependent on the needs of other people.
It is important to actually care to know the truth and properly look into our consciences before we adopt an I don't care attitude towards anything. Are you adopting it because you are convinced you're on a right track or because you want to run away from your own responsibilities?
Some people have become accustomed to using the 'I don't care' attitude to mask their responsibilities and refuse to see the truth from other perspectives. This is when it becomes dangerous.
If you have this attitude because you simply want to escape from your responsibilities or because you're so selfish that you refuse to acknowledge the truth about yourself, then you need to rethink.
Sometimes, you should really care to see things from the angles that other people are seeing from. You should care about the people you love. You you care to know the full story about anything.
Be sure you're not stubborn and you're not the problem. Be sure that you're genuinely happy with your decision not to care. It's good not to care about what others think when they only say negative things in order to discourage you.
It is good not to care when they tell you to give up and stop trying. It's good not care about pleasing everybody or those who are not worth it. It's good not to care how many times you've failed and still believe that you can succeed.
There are many reasons that support the "I don't care" attitude, but be careful that stubbornness, closed mindedness, hatred and ignorance ain't part of these reasons.
Sometimes, you should care about some things. Other times, you should not care about certain things too. Just keep being a winner no matter which you choose to do.
Saturday, 7 January 2017
How do you feel right now? Happy or Sad? Feel like an achiever or a loser? Worried or relaxed? How do you really feel about yourself and your life? Your feelings are just about your state of mind. It's all inside your head.
If your mind is filled with good thoughts, you will definitely feel good. And if your mind is cluttered with negative thoughts, you will feel crappy or feel like a loser. Therefore, the kind of thoughts you dwell on determines how you feel.
Hence, all it takes to change the way you feel is simply to change your thoughts. Are you thinking too much about someone's words? Are you thinking too much about risks? Are you thinking about what other people think about you?
Is your mind telling you that you won't succeed? Are you feeling scared? These things are mere thoughts that clutter our heads and make us feel bad. Stop thinking of these negative things and switch your mind to positive thoughts.
If your the thought says "You will never make it!," You laugh and say "I will definitely make it." If it says "All hope is lost," You say "There is always a chance." If it says "You're a loser and that nobody loves you." You'll remind yourself of your successes and people that have cared about you, then say "That's a lie. I'm a winner and I'm loved."
Always replace any negative thoughts in your mind with positive and invigorating ones. What is the purpose of existence if not to be happy in this life? If you're not happy, you're wasting your precious life.
Learn to quickly switch the thoughts inside your head from negative ones to positive ones. That's the simple trick to change how you feel. Don't let negative thinking and depression to steal away your life. This life is beautiful and you need to love it.
No one knows what is going inside your head, but you. So, people may not really understand you or help you get out of your head. If it seems difficult to still get out of these negative thoughts , then talk to someone who can encourage you.
Life is fun. Switch your thoughts to positive ones, do the little you can do to achieve your goals or improve the world and experience the beauty of life. Most of our problems are just living inside our heads. They are simply as a result of the way we think and allow negative thoughts control us.
You don't solve problems by thinking negatively about them. You solve problems by understanding them and looking at the bright side. Believing there is always a solution. Learn to control your thoughts and you will never feel terrible about anything.
I want you to be happy. You are awesome and wonderful just the way you are. Whatever it is that you're currently worried about is definitely going to pass. Everything will be okay. All is well.
Switch your thoughts to believing and be grateful for the life you have. All it takes to feel good is simply to think good thoughts. So switch your thoughts and Do whatever Will make you think good thoughts and stay happy.
By Nigel Ikechukwu at January 07, 2017
It is in your hands to change your situation and whatever you are currently facing in your life. It is in your hands to make your desires and wishes come to pass. Most people have not come to accept this truth and that's why their lives remain the same.
If your relationship with someone is not going as you want it, it's in your hands to try to make it work or simply move on. There is no point blaming the other person, what matters is what you choose to do. Don't hurt yourself by trying too hard to stay in a relationship in which you know deep down that you are not comfortable with it.
It's in your hands to make money and get rich.. It doesn't depend on your background, available opportunities or how you look. Many people from a disadvantageous home have crawled out of there and changed their destinies. There is nothing to blame for being poor; not your government, your country, your parents or any other excuses. You are to blame.
It's in your hands to do what you love to do and live your life the way you want. Nobody is pointing a gun at you to do what you don't like. You always have a choice and it is in your best interest to choose what is advantageous to you.
Continuing with that crappy job you hate is a choice. The truth is that the world doesn't really care about whatever stories you want to tell or how you may feel. They cannot understand you as much as you understand yourself and your needs. You should learn to genuinely care about yourself. It's in your hands to make yourself happy.
If you're not happy with the kind of friends you have around you, it is in your hands to change them, move to another location and make new friends. You're not caged by anybody. Respect your freedom because it's in your hands.
The problem is not what is outside you. The problem is not your environment or how people behave. These things have always been there. The Real problem is in you. Accepting the fact that it is in your hands to make your life better and live purposefully is a step in the right direction.
Do not allow yourself to continue putting up with nonsense. If you don't like the way someone or something is, try to see if you can do something to improve them. If your efforts seem to be fruitless, then stay away from these things and move on with things that bring out the best in you.
Enough of the excuses. The way you look, the place you have been born, the kind of people around you, your situation and the rest of them are not the problem. The first step is to understand that it is in your hands to make your dreams come to pass.
You can decide to work in government if you're really passionate about improving governance. Then you can have the opportunity to make a change. You can never do that if you just keep on blaming them and seeing them as the problem.
In the same way, if you're not happy with anything or any situation life has put you in, there is always something you can do to make it better. Find that thing and do it without any reservations.
I don't care about any excuses or stories because I've come to understand that there are no excuses for living a crappy life or being a loser. There is always something you can do no matter your situation or predicament, all you need do is recognise the fact that it is in your hands and make the right decisions.
It is actually in your hands, so drop every excuse you have and go make your life a beautiful story!