Tuesday, 13 December 2016
Let's Get Real About Love
Let's get real here about this issue of love. I'm not going to be playful about it. I'd be as plain as I can ever be. Forget everything you've seen in the movies or read about love. Let's just be honest and practical here.
Everyone here on earth I believe needs love and appreciation. I've not met anyone who doesn't. If you claim you don't, I think you should think again. I believe we all want someone who loves us just as much as we love them.
Here's the thing: We want to be loved, but often times we are not willing to love someone in that same way that we want to be loved. We want to be loved 'more' than the other party. We want to develop a sense of pride knowing that no matter what we do, the other party will still love us. But in reality, it doesn't work that way because the love becomes selfish. And when selfishness enters any love, it doesn't last.
You need to understand that just as you need someone who will love you so much, other people need someone like that too. You don't throw the need of the other person outside. The equation will always be unbalanced and the relationship is bound to fail when one side is dysfunctional.
Why would you expect someone to have undying love for you when you don't have undying love for them? This is where the problem lies. To be happy in issues of love, you must be with someone who is willing and ready to love you just as much as you love them. Someone who is willing to take risks and make sacrifices for you just as you are willing to do same for them.
Most relationships fail because of the useless ploy to be loved "more" than the other. Love is meant to be mutual.
Don't fall in love with anyone out of pity. If you don't love them just as much as they love you, kindly take your leave. Likewise, if they don't love you or care about you just as much as you do, disengage yourself too.
Wait for the right person.. the person who will truly love you, understand you, cherish you and be ready to appreciate your mutual love as well. If you've found that person, never let that person go. Such a love is unbounded and unlimited because there is no game, record keeping, selfishness or pride involved.
Don't also beg anyone to love you too. Always be free to show love to someone you admire, but if they're not willing to reciprocate or they don't love you same way, don't stay there and try too hard to please them. They are not right for you.
Never be selfish to the extent of wanting love from someone when you know you don't love them the same way. It's dangerous and it's not the way. Clearly let people know you are not interested and don't play ball with their feelings.
If we learn to be more real about the issues of love and cut out the bull shit, we'd be in a better position to find our ideal soul mates and have more fulfilling love life and relationships.